Kit
Tuesday morning, I woke up feeling that I had slept very well. As I was getting breakfast, my mom made the comment, "You seem happy this morning." I told her that yes, I was happy. I tried to relate this happiness to the fact that I was getting therapy now, but really the events of last night were still filling me with butterflies. What would Kris do when she saw me at school? I couldn't wait to find out.
When it was time for English class, my class right before lunch, I cautiously walked into the bright room our teacher had decorated with colorful posters and pictures. It seemed brighter today now that I had caught Kris's eye. Timidly, Kris waved at me. She had been putting her hair in a ponytail more often recently, and I thought it looked nice that way. Today she was wearing a studded choker, which I admired despite the fact that I would never wear something like that. Then, as usual, she was in a dark t-shirt. Smiling, I walked over to her.
"Hi," I grinned.
"Hey," Kris replied, excitement sparkling in her eyes. "You sleep well?"
"Oh sure," I giggled. "You?" My gaze shifted to Jo as she walked by and gave us a suspicious look. Expecting Kris to make a comment on Jo's gaze, I was surprised when she didn't. Kris just nodded at Jo.
"Um," I began, but the bell rang just then. I forgot that Jo and Kris had been dating. Were they still? This was a question to ask at lunch. Taking a seat at my desk, I prepared for another hour of lessons. Mostly, I could pay attention to what the teacher was saying about a book we were going to start reading and the assignments that would follow. However, I couldn't stop myself from glancing at Kris every once in a while. Sometimes, I found that she was looking back at me, and she would stick her tongue out at me or beam happily. I hoped that the next time our seats changed, Kris would be sitting closer to me.
Kris
That whole day Tuesday, I felt like I was walking in a dream. Kit liked girls. Kit liked me. It felt too good to be true. For most of the morning, I had gone to my classes in a sort of shocked daze, but when I saw Kit during fourth hour, I had woken up a little. This was actually happening, wasn't it.
Kit had headed to the bathroom or something, so she didn't follow me to the cafeteria. Sometimes, Jo didn't follow me either. She friends all around the school that she liked to talk to at any time during the school day; sometimes she even skipped class with others. And so I walked to the cafeteria by myself and met up with Sherry. For some reason, Riley and Sophie weren't there. I figured Riley must be sick.
"Kit is really happy today," Sherry smiled, as if we had a mutual understanding that this was my doing.
"That's good," I replied, taking a seat across from her. "Hey, can I ask you something?"
"Mhm."
"Did you already suspect that Kit was a lesbian?" I asked. I wondered, because Sherry had sometimes started saying something about Kit and her previous relationships. Sometimes she would begin to say something about Kit's sexuality. Then she would stop.
"Yes," Sherry answered. "I once asked Kit a long time ago if she ever considered that she might be a lesbian, and she was appalled by the idea."
"Well. Times have changed," I smirked.
Soon enough, Kit started coming over to our table. Sherry leaned closer to me and added, "She'll need help processing it though. If her parents find out, they will not support her."
Then I remembered Kit's parents. They would definitely be a problem. My parents really didn't care that I was a lesbian, but Kit's parents? No. They would not like that. This was going to be hard for Kit, but I was determined to be there to help.
Kit sat down next to me and opened her lunch box. When she got everything taken out of there and situated on the table, her hand found my hand, which I was resting on my lap. Now Kit's hand was on my hand, and technically, on my lap too. I had been preparing to take a bite of a banana, but now I froze for a moment and glanced at Kit. Sherry raised her eyebrows.
"Oh, I have a question," Kit began matter-of-factly. I tried to think of what she could want to know. Did I do something wrong? "Are you and Jo still dating?" In the middle of this question, Jo had appeared out of nowhere to join us at our table.
"Uh... no," I answered, eyeing Jo with uncertainty. Jo shook her head. She then produced a pizza box. We were surprised, to say the least.
"Dude," I commented.
"This is to celebrate Kit finding a pass to the gay club," Jo announced. "Welcome to the club. We've been expecting you," she added with a slightly sinister tone.
"Gay club, party of—" I paused as Sophie made her way over to our table. "Gay club, party of four."
"Five?" Sherry spoke up.
"What."
"There's five of us."
"Oh, yeah, but I meant—wait." It dawned on me then. "Sherry, how many gay people are sitting here?"
"Five," Sherry repeated. "Me, you, Jo..."
"Gay club, party of five!" Jo shouted, causing several people to look at us. "The fuck are you looking at?" Jo stood up from her chair, but Sherry and Sophie pulled her back down, shaking their heads and whispering stop. We all enjoyed our pizza.
After school, I asked—without thinking—if Kit wanted to have a sleepover this weekend. Kit stared blankly at me, long enough for me to realize that this was sort of an awkward question. "I mean, okay, no, I meant—"
"Sure," Kit laughed. "Do you work today?"
"Yeah, I'm gonna bike there now. I'd give you a ride if I had a car, but sadly, I have not even taken driver's training."
"Me neither," Kit admitted.
"Well aren't we a couple of sad individuals," I grinned. "See you at work."
Things weren't awkward between us like I feared would happen. It was nice. Kit and I were a good team; we worked well together, and we always had interesting conversations. I liked making her laugh and hearing her talk. She told me she liked the sound of my voice and the strange things I said sometimes. Our relationship worked sort of like it had before, except it was stronger now. There was no lingering discomfort. We found it easier to be open with one another. We understood each other.
Today, there was a good amount of customers, but so far opening day had been the busiest day by far. I wondered what this place would be like in the summer. Working longer hours in the summer seemed far more appealing than it originally had, now that I was working with Kit. I couldn't wait for summer. Unfortunately, it wasn't even winter yet, so I would have to wait awhile. I was pretty sure that being around Kit and my other friends would help time pass quickly.
When it was time to close, Kit and I cleaned the floor and tables together, then headed out. We wanted to spend time with each other, but we both had homework to do. Kit's mom came to pick her up, and I went home with my mom. For a few hours, we texted each other until Kit decided to go to sleep. I wondered when it would be acceptable to say I loved her.
The week passed by quickly, and before I knew it, it was Friday. Kit had somehow gotten permission to spend the night at my house. I figured her parents must not have readily given her the permission, because when I got to fourth hour, Kit seemed drained. She told me, "Yeah," with a sigh when I asked if she was allowed to come to my house.
"They don't like me, do they," I figured. Kit looked up at me with a frown and shook her head. "Well my family likes you," I replied. Kit smiled.
Again, it was time to correct a grammar test, and again, I scored in the B's. I thought this score was pretty good, considering that English is a nonsensical language, but when I told Kit about my overall grades in English, she offered to tutor me. Then I asked how well Kit did in Spanish, and oh how the tables turned. "Well," she averted her eyes, "I uh..."
"I see," I replied. "I'll tutor you in Spanish, and you'll tutor me in English." I now had another way to spend time with Kit.
When the bell rang, we headed to lunch, Kit following me this time. "Hey," I poked her arm. "Can I hold your hand?"
Kit almost stopped walking for a moment, looking at me with wide eyes, but then she kept going. "Um, I... I want to, but I don't know if... I should? Sorry, just..." Kit sighed.
"It's alright," I answered quickly. "You don't have to."
"I think..." Kit began, but she took more time to think about what she was going to say. "I think I need to process things still. I don't know."
"That's fine," I told her. I wondered what it was like to know that if you told the truth about yourself, your family would stop loving you. Kit was starting to realize that her parents would not accept her, and I could tell this was taking its toll.
Ever since I was little, my parents had told me that I could always be myself around them. When they took me shopping for clothes, they let me pick from both the boys' and girls' sections. They let me play with any kids I liked, and they let me play with any toys I liked. When I told them I had a crush on a girl in my class, they had smiled and told me that that was great. When I told them that I was a lesbian, they congratulated me for discovering this. I wondered what I would have been like if my parents had forced me into suppressing my identity. Then I was back to thinking about Kit, who had yelled at her parents out of nowhere. I hoped she would be okay.
After school, I met Kit at her locker, remembering how I had used to stick notes to it and wait for her replies. Sherry and Riley were at Kit's locker too, Sherry because she always followed Kit to her locker, and Riley because she liked to follow Sherry. "Fancy meeting you here," Riley commented when I showed up. "What are you doing today?"
"Oh, I'm having Kit over," I answered, placing my hands in my pockets. "She's uh, she's spending the night."
Riley nodded, glancing at Sherry. "Cool," she replied.
"Spending the night?" Sherry repeated. Kit confirmed it. "I see," Sherry grinned.
"I don't think you see, because you're looking at me weirdly," Kit joked.
"Ohh-kay, well, Riley and I are gonna go get frozen yogurt now," Sherry decided, starting to walk away.
"We are?" Riley asked.
"Yep."
"I don't have money."
Sherry turned around, pulled a twenty out of a hidden pocket in her skirt, and waved it forward, motioning for Riley to follow her. "Where does Sherry get her money?" I asked Kit.
"I'm not sure," Kit replied.
My mom was picking us up today; Kit had a bag stored in her locker which she removed when I said my mom was here. We walked out into the parking lot and found my mom's car. I held the door open for Kit, and she called me a dork before getting in.
"I have some news for you," my mom told me as we approached the house. I was sitting in the back with Kit.
"What?" I asked. We pulled into my street, and I saw another two cars parked in our driveway. One was my grandma's, the other my aunt's, but if I knew my family well enough, I knew that there were more than two people visiting. It looked like Kit would be meeting some more of my family tonight. This would be interesting. Only my mom and dad knew I was gay.