I was done treading on ice around Beam. I finally laid out all of my feelings out bare for him. The ball was in his court.
I looked at him, determined for an answer. Beam just looked at me stunned definitely by my outburst.
Beam then just laid his head on my chest and held on tight. I could feel my shirt getting wet and I knew he was crying. I just held onto him even more tightly and we stood there for a few good minutes.
"I love you too, more than I can speak of. I just.. always worry if i am ever good enough for you. I don't want my past reputation to be affecting.."
"Don't be stupid Beam."
Beam looked at me stunned, prolly by the choice of words. "Idiot." And he smacked me. I laughed. I held onto him and then I pulled away a little bit later.
"Nobody is perfect. We all have something that is both good and bad that makes us, us. I love you for all of you. Do you love me the same way?"
Beam nodded. "That's all that matters then."
I kissed his forehead softly in reciprocation.
"Are we good?"
Beam looked at me and sighed softly, nodding his head, a faint blush spreading over his face. I smiled.
"Be mine, na? I'm tired of us tip toeing around each other. I'm tired of fighting my jealousy around you all the time. I'm tired of having to find excuses to prevent other people from hitting on you."
Beam nodded silently, muttering a very soft yes. I didn't even realize he was this capable of being so soft and gentle. We wrapped things up, him grabbing his kit whilst I took his hand and my backpack. We left and I offered to drop Beam off.
"Do you want to sleepover?"
"Already? That's an express pass! Yes yes and yes."
"Idiot! I don't mean it that way. Its so late already and you have no classes tomorrow right? Stay over and you can go back tomorrow."
I nodded cheekily, smiling at him. Now that he and I were all good, my heart automatically lightened and I felt so cheery again, like nothing could do me wrong!
We went back to his dorm and Beam offered to make dinner for us. I took a shower and came out to see Beam hovering over the stove, sleeves rolled up and stirring away. I went over and cuddled him from the back, something I been wanting to do for such a long time.
Beam smiled as I nuzzled my face into his neck. "Stop it na, it's so ticklish."
I just grinned and continued! He lightly smacked me as he switched off the stew, hustling me away to set the table. We had dinner and it was really good to just chit chat and spend time together.
All of my biggest dreams were coming true and I just couldn't stop the cheeky smile that was coming upon my face. Post dinner, I washed up whilst Beam took a shower.
We spent the night watching TV like a pair of newly weds and finally collasped into bed together.
Was getting into a fight and being all bruised, worth it?
It was, seeing how I got my Beam.
But I also knew I couldn't get into another fight again. This boyfriend of mine will kill me for sure, in time to come.