***hey so this first section they're visiting zayn there isn't really any mention of suicide but just in case it triggers someone i'll do a tl;dr anyway***
Louis
That evening, we head to visit Zayn.
The whole group heads to Robin's room first, and Niall helps her into bed. Flynn stays with her. Flynn's never met Zayn, and Robin's tired.
The rest of us head to the psych ward, two floors above us.
We have to sign in, and they search our belongings for anything that could be dangerous. They take Liam's gum, promising to give it back to him when we leave.
Then we're led through two sets of doors that lock behind us.
I don't want Zayn to be in here.
But he is.
A nurse takes us to a room where a few families are waiting.
The five of us wait, Callin in a wheelchair and the rest of us standing awkwardly by the wall. There are tables set out, but we don't sit.
None of the other families do, either.
A few minutes later, the doors open, and the patients enter.
And there's Zayn, in brown hospital scrubs, his hair a mess.
He sees us, and then Callin, and he smiles a very small smile.
He takes a seat at a table, and we all join him.
"You're alright" he says to Callin.
"Yeah" she says. "And I remember everything. I'm glad you're alright."
"Me too, actually" he says.
I can't help but smile at that.
He's going to be alright.
He wants to be.
He wants to live.
I'm so happy for him.
"How's it been?" Callin asks him.
"Actually alright" he says. "The other people aren't so bad, and there was this group therapy thing that was actually kind of helpful."
I never thought of Zayn needing help.
But he's getting it.
And that's definitely a good thing.
Maybe soon the band will be back. We can start making music again, be there for the fans, all this drama over and done with. I want us back together.
I want us to be happy.
I think maybe we have a chance at that now.
A chance to get back to the way things were.
I want that back.
Callin is awake, and Zayn is getting help, and we're all together again. We can go on tour, we can make music. I miss being able to focus on that. Our music, the reason we're even together.
"I'm glad you're getting help" Callin says. "That's important."
"Yeah, and you'll be back soon" Niall says.
Zayn looks happy about that, smiling at us all.
It's nice to see.
Now that I think about it, even before we knew about the drinking, he hadn't been smiling much.
Now he's smiling.
"I think I might stay longer than the 72 hours" he says.
Liam looks stunned at that.
I think it's a good thing, though.
That he wants to stay.
He wants to get better.
That's what I want for him.
"Why?" Niall asks him.
"I want to get better" he says. "Better for real. And I think I can do that, here."
That's the answer I wanted him to give.
It's good.
We all want him to get better. Even Liam, despite his shocked expression. I know it's hard for him, seeing Zayn here. They're so close. But I know he wants Zayn to get better.
And I think Zayn can.
"Good" Harry says.
Liam turns his stunned gaze on him.
I don't know why he's so surprised.
I think the whole thing has been more of a surprise to him than to the rest of us.
He didn't see it coming.
None of us did, in the absolute sense, but Harry and Niall and I went through more than Liam did, and I know Harry and I both can't quite forget.
We're automatically suspicious, we can't let our guards down, and when we're alone we can't feel safe because we still feel the pain.
I don't think Liam does.
So he feels like we are safe, we can be happy now.
Or maybe he thought Zayn felt the same as him.
But here we are.
And here is looking better than there.
I want it to be.
"They're saying I have depression" Zayn says.
That's to be expected, I guess.
At least he knows now, and he's going to be alright. That's something they can treat, something that he can manage.
I'm glad we all came to visit him today.
Now I can know for sure, see with my own eyes, that he's alright. I can see him sitting in front of me, smiling.
I hadn't realised how worried I was.
But he's alright.
"That makes sense" Harry says.
"Yeah" Niall agrees softly.
He's going to be alright.
-
Callin
We have to leave at eight, because visiting hours are over.
It was good to see Zayn, though, and see that he's alright.
We stop in Robin's room to watch another film.
A Bug's Life, this time.
And then Louis wheels me back to my room, and everyone says goodnight and leaves.
He stays, though.
He falls asleep in the chair a lot faster than I do in my bed.
Leaving me to lay awake and stare at the ceiling.
I hate this.
The first night after a coma.
And I hate that I have enough experience in the matter.
I'm afraid to sleep.
I'm scared that if I fall asleep, I'll go into another coma.
I don't know how to deal with it, except to remind myself that I've come out of two now.
I'll be alright.
I keep telling myself that.
It has to work eventually.
I know I can do this, I know.
It shouldn't be this hard.
But I guess it makes sense.
I can definitely do this.
Eventually, I close my eyes and fall asleep.
-
I wake up the next morning.
Louis' already awake, watching me.
"Good morning" he says, grinning. "Are you ready to go home?"
"Yes" I say, smiling back.
He leans forward and kisses me quickly.
Soon, everyone's in my room, except Robin and Zayn.
When Paul arrives, it's time to go.
Home.
We all pile into the van, without Robin and Zayn, but knowing they'll be alright.
We all will.
-
Sleeping in my own bed that night is amazing.
Waking up the next morning to Louis making pancakes and eggs, with a lot of help from Harry of course, is even better.
The next few days feel like a dream, an amazing one.
And a week later, we're all sitting in the living room of Harry and Louis' flat.
Zayn is coming home today.
Robin is also being released, and moving in with Niall.
We're having a little party for them.
They should be here any moment.
Harry, Louis, Liam, Flynn, and I are watching television when we hear the door open. Harry shuts off the telly, and we all go to greet them.
Zayn is standing there in the doorway, Niall standing next to him and pushing Robin's wheelchair.
We all just stand there for a minute, staring at each other.
Then Liam runs to Zayn, wrapping the older boy in a hug.
After a moment, Zayn hugs him back.
-
"Alright, favorite band that isn't One Direction" Louis says.
"You act like One Direction was even in the running" Flynn jokes, before taking another bit of cake. "I think I've heard your songs, like, twice, ever."
"Shut up" Lous says, shoving her.
He shoves her harder than I think he intends to, and she falls into Harry's lap, laughing.
After a moment, Harry laughs, too.
Flynn picks herself up, but I notice that she moves closer to Harry, too.
"*NSYNC" Zayn says. "To answer your question."
"Coldplay!" Niall shouts.
"Shh" Robin says to him, patting him on the shoulder. "Inside voices."
He rolls his eyes at her, but he's grinning.
"Mine's the Beatles" Harry says.
"Really?" Flynn says, a mischievous look in her eyes. "Cute but cliché, could you be any more pretentious?"
Harry shoves her.
"Let's hear yours, then" he says.
"Arctic Monkeys or Racing Glaciers" she says.
"Oh, so the most pretentious bands out there" Harry replies. "You're just a huge hipster, aren't you?"
"I am not ashamed" she says proudly.
"OneRepublic" Liam says quickly, probably to stop the flirting.
Which I'm pretty sure it is.
"I like Linkin Park" Robin says.
Everyone looks at me.
"Fall Out Boy" I say. "Louis?"
"The Fray" he says. "Alright, what's next?"
The phone rings before anyone can say anything else.
Harry gets up to answer it.
He's back a minute later, phone in hand.
"It's Paul" he says. "Liam, it's for you."
-
Liam
I take the phone into the kitchen so the others can carry on their game.
"Hello?" I say.
"Liam" Paul says. "Do you remember anyone at the party getting anywhere near your drink?"
"What?" I say. "What party? What are you talking about?"
"The party before the car accident" Paul says. "A month ago. Do you remember?"
"No, what is this about?" I say. "They closed the case a month ago. I paid my fine."
"The test results on your blood were tampered with" Paul says. "You weren't drunk. You were drugged. Someone spiked your drink."
I nearly drop the phone.
Are we still in danger?
-
"Hey, baby, wanna go some place a little more private?"
She's all over me, despite my best efforts.
"No thanks" I say.
She places a hand on my shoulder.
"Baby, I'll be everything you need" she says.
I shove her off and stalk away to a quiet corner.
I take a sip of my drink.
For a second, I think it tastes salty.
Then it's gone.
I must have imagined it.
-
Louis
We're discussing the merits of the colour blue when Liam returns.
He looks like he's seen a ghost.
Everyone gets quiet pretty fast when they notice him standing there.
"What happened?" Zayn finally asks.
"It was Paul" Liam says. "The night of the accident . . . my blood tests were tampered with. I wasn't drunk. I was drugged. This girl, she . . . she spiked my drink."
"Well, fine" I say. "Glad you were telling the truth. It's over now though. Why do you look so worried?"
"Louis" Harry says. "The results were tampered with. That takes an inside job. This wasn't a prank, or someone trying to mess with Liam."
"We're still in danger" I say softly.
My eyes meet Callin's.
I'm sure the fear in mine matches that in hers.
This isn't over.
—
A/N: hello
tl;dr: alright so basically they go visit zayn in the hospital, he says he's doing well, he looks well, all that stuff. and he says he wants to stay longer than the 72 hours so he can get better and louis is happy about that and liam's like 'bro wtf' (he doesn't actually say that he just looks stunned). also we find out that zayn has depression probably. louis spends quite awhile waffling about how great it is that everyone's alright and how great it is that zayn's smiling when he hasn't done that in awhile.
i hate this new writing editor thing ugh it's so annoying
so i want to talk to you guys about something alright. i was reading this gay 1d au (i'm trash sorry) and something happened in it that really really made me angry. in this au, one of the boys is depressed apparently (we can talk about the terrible portrayal of depression later) and he's supposed to be taking antidepressants but he isn't. the thing that pissed me off so much was that at one point the other boy insinuates (or maybe outright says, i don't remember anymore) that taking antidepressants is a bad thing. that is wrong. that is wrong. that is WRONG, and it's morally fucked up to tell young kids that taking antidepressants (prescribed to you by the doctor of course) is bad. guys if you're depressed, if your doctor says you should take antidepressants, please listen to them. antidepressants and other psychiatric drugs can save lives. if you take the drugs, give them some time to work, and they don't, or you don't like the way they make you feel, then go talk to your doctor about it (if they say suck it up and deal with the drugs, find a new doctor). but seriously. don't go off your meds without talking to a doctor. don't decide meds are some terrible thing just bc people on the internet say they are. it's just a really bad thing for a character who is treated as a 'good guy', the love interest, whatever, to be saying things like that.
if you disagree with me we can totally debate the issue in a pm, i'm totally cool with that as long as you're not just like 'you're wrong and fuck you'. i think authors in the one direction fandom have to be careful what messages they're sending to the fandom, which is full of young kids (not that there's anything wrong with that, and i know not everyone is 12, so pls don't yell at me). and it really pisses me off in general when people say shit about psychiatric drugs. i have friends who need those drugs to survive. hell i probably should be on several. they aren't for everyone but people that need them should give them a chance.
if that's your story i'm talking about then sorry but seriously you need to think about why you're telling kids to stop taking their meds. also if you recognize this story i'm not saying it's a bad story, i actually kinda enjoy it, but that part is offensive to me. i'm not trying to say anything bad about the story or the author as a person, and i don't believe they wrote what they did with any malice, i just thing they should have thought harder about what they were saying and how some people would hear that.
this got really long sorry. i have a lot of feelings about the issue. another side note, i will repeat again, if y'all are suicidal/depressed, please please please get help, i don't want to lose any of you and i love you all dearly. if anyone wants to talk you can talk to me, but if you're seriously suicidal please call a helpline. if you're in danger, call 911/999/the emergency number in your country. please.
so leave me a comment about this chapter and the cliffhanger and stuff. this is the next-to-last full chapter whooo. one more chapter and then an epilogue. i have an announcement next chapter as well so read the author's note thanks.
again sorry about the length of this and sorry if i offended anyone. like i said if drugs aren't for you then that's cool but please remember that they can and do help probably hundreds of thousands of people so it's a bad thing to go around telling people that they're evil.
i want to finish this story before i start work. just so y'all know i work at a summer camp, and it's a sleepaway camp so i'm gonna be there for two months which means no wattpad and actually pretty much no internet at all. i can probably check my messages sometimes but that's about it, so don't expect me to be super active. i leave june 7th, so this story should be finished by then. excited? me too.
sorry this took so long guys remember what i said about me needing psych drugs yeah i wasn't kidding. it took awhile for me to write this chapter and even longer to type it but the next one is almost finished already so that's good and i'm pretty determined to finish it for you in the next week.
please vote i love you guys you're the best now go vote thanks.