Here is more about Miss Lacey because I don't want you to think of her as a crazy lady, even though she is definitely in an altered state of being. Crazy or not, she became my good friend.
Miss Lacey often talked to herself waking or dreaming. She talked to other people like they were there, and this was so convincing you turned to see who she was talking to, and you got a little creeped out. Miss Lacey talked and waited for the other person to speak. She was very polite that way.
Lacey dreams her story..... sometimes aloud.....
My words were first to go. I loved music and knew the words to hundreds of songs I would sing out loud in the car whenever my Matty and I were on the road. He did not care how out of tune I was. He sang with me. He would joke and say as he cut the music up, " Sing louder, I can't hear you." Or he would ask, "Who is singing?" and I would say, "It's the Beatles, silly." and he would say, "Well, the Beatles never sounded so good."
One day, no not one day, a year or more, I could not remember words to new songs, only old ones. It was only music, and though annoying and in a way that hurt my feelings, I was not yet afraid.
When I talked I saw a clear picture of a word, but the word would not form, only the image would be there hinting. No word to follow. Sentences became unspoken thoughts. Incomplete sentences. I lied to myself, much like someone who finds the lump in their breast or watches the mole until it is screaming - this is bad, it is really bad. I did not want to believe the body and mind I owned and commanded betrayed me. Nobody likes a traitor.
I was nervous and anxious when I went somewhere new. I did not like unfamiliar. I wanted five napkins at the restaurant I then laid out flat before I ate. I wanted the radio dial to be on an even number. I began to count things. Tiles, books on a shelf, shells on the beach. I screamed at the cashier at Food Lion when she wanted me to sign the thing. Swipe the thing. What was the thing called? I did not know. I was not mad. I did not know what she wanted from me.
My doctor said it was MCI, Mild Cognitive Impairment. I seemed to be worse as night approached. Though I knew the "old-timers " disease ran in my family, like most terminally dying, I denied, though it finally caught me. But, this disease was slower than me and there was time to plan. And I did. There are promises to keep before I sleep. Before I rest. Before I am done for.
Lacey dreams of scary....
The mama is cooking those smelly greens again, whew, they smell so bad, but they are all over the hill and they are good to eat, taste good, and good for you too, but bad smell, bad. Baby is crying, shhh, now sweet one, shh, almost supper time. There's the daddy, there's the daddy, ohno, ohno there's the daddy, hide, hide.
Lacey dreams of long ago......
The light coming through the window woke me up. It was so bright. It reminded me of something. What? What? It was just there, but gone so quick. Ah, yes the warmth on my face, the light as I looked up at him and he said to me those words letting me know I would be safe: don't worry, I will take care of you, no matter what, you are safe with me. Don't tell what I done. Only you know.
I did know. I dreamed it even before it happened. I saw it. Don't tell. Don't tell, don't tell..don't, don't, don't, don't talk, don't talk to strangers, strange, strange, stranger than fiction, fiction, read, read, read your Bible, and the lord said let there be light, light, light. Light feels good on my face.
Lacey dreams of time travel.....
Where am I? I am time traveling again. I am in Milan with him.
I am alone in the shadows of the barn. I am crying. Quit that sniffling, he said.
I am in DC, it is summer and so hot, sweat on my upper lip, I taste it. Tourists everywhere, and I was one. No, no I was just pretending. I am good at fabrication and disguise. I smile. I like being a blonde. We do have more fun.
I am in the time travel tunnel, just like on TV. The tunnel is swirling. I do not land in history though. I am here with you, watching the show. You are holding my hand. You are not holding my hand like that. You are my friend. I am only ten. We have secrets.
Author's Insight: Like most terrible singers, I love to sing loud in the car. Here's a shout out to my first true love who always turned up the radio "to give me back up".