We had just arrived at my house. Sam immediately jumped on my bed and fell asleep. Pete was already asleep in his room when we came.
Wanda was leaning against the counter when I entered the kitchen.
"You know, I for sure though that you'd yell at me after what I did" I said, reaching to grab the cereal box.
"Well it was incredibly stupid to go in someone's home and hit them, but you had a good reason" she smiles.
"Thanks" I smile back, grabbing the cereal and pouring them in my mouth.
After a minute of silence she talks again.
"It was nice, what you did for him. Brave"
I stare carefully at her, taking in every little detail about her face as she adds
"You two have something, like some kind of love that we as friends didn't have"
"Yeah, I guess. I mean I was probably too busy trying to kiss you so.. " I laugh looking at her as her face formed a smile.
"I always wanted to ask you about that." She tilts her head a bit to her right as her brows half furrow.
"Okay. Shoot" I put the cereal down.
She thinks a bit like trying to find a question and then asks "when did you fall for me?"
I know I told her to ask me questions but I didn't really think it through. About a thousand different moments come to mind right now but only one of them is the truth.
"The day of the picnic with your family." I state remembering every moment from that day.
"Why?" She asks genuinely confused.
"Why not? Your parents had called me and Pete for their picnic day. It was taken out of a movie. The red squared blanket, the food cut into perfect little pieces, the loving mom, the fun dad, the overprotective brother. Pete was looking mesmerized. You stayed beside me all the time, protecting me from your father's silly jokes and Pietro's death glances. " I laugh at myself realising that I remember every detail about that day.
"Pete had gone off with your mom talking about school, your dad had gone back with Pietro to pick up a few things. I remember you taking my hand and pulling me away from everyone, you just started running till we stopped in front of a ice cream shop. We got the ice creams and sat down on one of the benches. You had broken down laughing at this guy failing so bad to pick up a girl. The sun was shining on your face, your mouth creating this beautiful smile showing dimples at either side of it. You put your head on my shoulder and it felt like my stomach was filled with bees trying so hard to get out that my stomach was going to explode. I couldn't stop staring at you that whole day. I was so afraid that Pietro was going to attack me at any moment"
I smiled seeing Wanda laugh as she remembered that day herself.
"Do you still like me?" She pops another question.
"No, not like that." I said sincerely glancing at her eyes.
"Do you like anyone like that?"
"Why wanna know the competition?" I joke
"Can only know them if you tell me. " she responds
"No, not since you"
"Why not?" She questions.
"No one right" I answer.
"Not even Valerie?" She questioned again.
"I don't know" I shrugged
"And I was right?"
"Yeah, at least I think so."
"That's good enough" she spoke.
"Is Bucky right for you?" This time I questioned her.
"Yes. Maybe"
"Why maybe? You're not sure?"
"I love him but is that enough?"
"No. It's not enough" she waits for me to explain myself. "At the start it will be but then you'll both need respect, honesty, compassion and sometimes love won't provide all those for you."
"A yes would've worked better" she chuckles lightly, wiping her face with her hands.
I walk slowly and grab her hand from reddening her face even more.
"I'm not saying that you're not enough"I grab her cheek making her face me. "It's just sometimes what you feel is not enough. Sometimes what you feel is way less then what you need or what you should settle for."
"What you telling me is that I shouldn't even try to be with him then?" She breaks eye contact but doesn't let go of my hand.
"No, I'm saying you should know what you're getting into before you get hurt"
Before she could say anything, my attention went to Sam walking in with swollen eyes.
"Hey. How you feeling?" I ask as he goes to grab a glass of water.
"I'm fine" he responds not even turning around to face me.
"You sure?" I push lightly.
"I've been better" he speaks after finishing his water, putting on a small, hurting smile.
"You wanna talk about it?" Wanda stepped in trying to help me.
"Not right now." He bearly speaks, not wanting to cry.
I nodded, knowing that he didn't want to be pushed into talking more. He puts the glass back in its place and walks back to my room, where I assume he fell asleep again.
I am worried about him. He's my best friend. I've known him for a long time and never onece I've seen him like this. He's always a "make a joke no matter what situation you're in" type of person. But now, seeing him like that crying, heartbroken makes me think there's a whole other person in him that I'm just finding out about. It makes me frustrated that I can't just barge in there and make him tell me what happened between him and that guy.
"He'll tell you when he's ready to tell you" her voice pulls me out of my thoughts.
"Just wish he'd do it earlier rather than later" I sighed.
"Hey, this is about him not you. You do what he needs not want you want. And right now he needs someone to be there for him, he needs someone to find comfort in, someone that wont pressure him into opening up. And I think that you're that someone for him. Or at least you should be." She looks into my eyes with that face she makes when she knows she's right.
I smile as a thank you, but before I could think about what to say my phone buzzes in my pocket.
I pick it up and see the name of Valerie.
"You should pick that up. She's probably worried about you" Wanda says before she makes her way to the living room.
As soon as she's out of sight I hit the accept button and put the phone to my ear.
"Hey" I say.
"Hey. How are you?"
"I'm fine. I-I'm sorry I didn't call you earlier. There was kind of a lot happening"
"No, no it's okay. I was just worried that maybe you were starting to regret?" She says referring to last night.
"What? No, not at all."
"Okay great. I was kinda hoping that we could see each other again"
"Yeah of course. I was kinda hoping that too"
"So maybe tomorrow?"
"Oh I can't tomorrow, I've got some arrangements I need to run."
"Okay, thats fine"
"How bout the day after?" I ask in hoping that she'll accept.
"Yeah, that's sounds good. Text me later?"
"I will" I say as she hangs up the phone.
So I've got another date, and I've got no idea what to do about my best friend who's absolutely heartbroken about some guy, a brother who knows nothing about everything, and a friend who I don't know if I can help her anymore or not. A half friend? Whatever.
My point is that I'm stuck in a situation where I'm supposed to do a lot of things but don't know how to do any of them.
And I'm fucked.