ɪ ᴡɪʟʟ ᴛᴇʟʟ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴛᴏᴅᴀʏ ᴍᴜꜱᴛ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ʙᴇᴇɴ ᴀ ʜᴀʀᴅ ᴅᴀʏ
↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺
SEVENTEEN
01:02──|─── 02:39
HUG(포옹)
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Lee Yeojun
"What actually happened guys?"
I recognised Eunyoung Saem's worried voice.
"And why is my sister in such condition?", I heard oppa's voice as well.
"Can you all speak outside? Yujung, can you tell them about everything?", Il-ha asked everyone to leave.
I heard the door shutting as I felt someone grabbing my hand and a weight shift on the bed.
I remembered things which had occurred but the last thing I remembered was Oppa asking me if I was alright. I lost my conscious after that. I slowly tried to open my eyes as I felt some weird sensation on my wrists. I looked around and noticed that I was lying on a bed inside the nurse room of the school. Meanwhile, Il-ha was applying some cream on the marks I got from Younghun earlier.
I tried to move but there was barely any energy left in my body.
"Ilha-ya", I called him in a hoarse voice.
"Yeojun-ah!!! You woke up", he leaned near me and caressed my cheek softly.
I flashed him a small smile and tried to sit with Il-ha's help.
"Can I have some water?", I asked him.
I drank some water clearing my throat.
"How are you feeling?"
"I'm fine now", I assured him.
I signalled him to continue what he was doing with my wounds.
"I'm not good as you though", he joked.
I chuckled at his words.
"But what really happened? But tell me only if you are okay with it", he asked me.
I explained him everything about the misunderstanding he had and everything he said. I could see the anger evident on his face. After I completed everything he kept apologising for not saving me earlier.
Soon Oppa, Saem and Yujung entered the room and asked me about my condition. Oppa asked us to keep everything a secret since if the word spreads it might really create a conflict amongst everyone. Oppa insisted that I should stay and rest in the nurse room for one night but I ended up rejecting it because it might make the others suspicious about everything and the last thing I wanted was to tell everyone about the situation. Yujung managed all the questions girls were asking about the loud sound of sphere falling and my wounds. Also everyone was already tierd because of the hard-core training we did in the morning so nobody was actually interested to hear about the details. I fell asleep after taking a bath ignoring all the thoughts inside my mind.
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"OPEN YOUR EYES AND LOOK AT ME!!!"
I opened my eyes instantly. My breathing was getting heavier, tears escaped my eyes as I closed my mouth tightly, trying not to wake anyone up.
A nightmare
It was just a nightmare.
Everything is alright now.
I kept convincing myself about the dream I had, trying to calm myself down. I got off the bed and walked out of the door carefully without making any noise. I slowly closed the door and walked into our classroom.
"Oh- Ilha-ya?"
Il-ha was sitting on his desk staring at the window.
"Jun-ah, Why aren't you sleeping?", He stood up.
I went towards him and took a seat beside him.
"A nightmare, what about you?"
"I couldn't sleep"
"Because of what happened earlier?", I asked.
He gave me a nod.
"What about you?"
"I am alright", I shrugged off.
"YAHH, ARE YOU FOR REAL?"
I flinched because of his loud voice.
"You are alright? For fuck's sake, I barely witnessed what happened and you experienced it. I feel like shit about everything. HOW CAN YOU BE ALRIGHT? WHEN I AM CLEARLY NOT?", He spat everything out and kicked a desk near him with outrage.
Il-ha was frustrated with everything. It was so obvious. His eyes were red and glossy with tears. His face was turning crimson as every second passed. Il-ha's breathing was also abnormal.
"FUCK. I'm sorry", he raced towards the door.
"Ilha-ya", I ran behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist from behind to stop him, "Stay", I sobbed.
He turned around facing me with my arms still around him. I buried my face into his front and hugged him tightly.
"You are right, I am not okay. I never was", I finally let my guard down.
Tears started to spill off my eyes as I pulled away, looking into Il-ha's eyes. His expressions softened as he gazed into my eyes.
"I hate myself", I expressed how I felt for the first time.
He looked at me totally confused with my words.
"I don't feel sorry for what happened to Younghun", I spoke swallowing the lump formed in my throat.
I knew I shouldn't feel like that. My classmate died, but I was relieved that I won't have to meet him again. That weirdly brought peace to my mind. But no matter how much I tried to understand, I felt guilty.
He was at fault.
It was his fault in the first place, but still, he didn't have to die. I just couldn't digest the fact that I was feeling such things. I was partially a reason for his death, but I never felt bad about it.
I looked down with guilt as tears kept streaming down my face.
"Yeojun-ah", Il-ha lifted my face facing his.
"I don't know what you are going through but if that sphere didn't kill him, I would have killed him instead. What he did was unforgivable. No excuse could change that. And it was never your fault. He deserved that. Just think that he was punished for his actions. Maybe that will make you feel better"
I nodded at his words and wiped all the tears on my face. Listening to Il-ha's words made me feel better.
Maybe he was punished by the God.
Even if that was not the case, I'd like to believe that was it. Currently, wasting time about things which already occurred was the dumbest thing that I could do. The fact that only one sphere fell and caused a person to lose his life. There were millions of them all around the world. I couldn't even imagine what would happen if all of them fell down.
I just won't wait for someone to come and save me like last time.
What if nobody saves me?
Then I have to be strong enough to save myself first.
That's when I decided that the only thing I'd focus from now on will be training.
"Thank you, Il-ha. For everything you did today", I held his hand gratefully.
"Ah- fuck", he suddenly exclaimed.
"What's wrong?", I looked at him and then at his hands.
"Yahh, WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?", I held his hand and looked at the wounded knuckles.
I 'tsk'ed and went back to get some bandage and medicine for them. He got hurt because he hit Younghun earlier really hard.
I was wrapping up the bandage, he spoke, "But is Platoon Leader really your brother?"
"He is"
"No wonder, he sounds familiar. Isn't he the one I talked to on phone?"
"Hm, it was him. It's done", I let go off his hands since I was done with the dressing.
"At first it felt like you both are totally different but if I think about it carefully you both are really alike"
"Alike? Like how?"
"The stubbornness, it's same. You remember when you slapped me, I kinda understand it now. You and your brother are totally alike"
"You think so?", I chuckled at his explanation.
"100 percent", he flashed me a smile.
Epilogue
Kwon Il-ha
The math professor was teaching some random sum, which I barely paid attention to. I looked at Yeojun. She was taking a nap while her book covered her from the teacher.
But then my eyes fell on Wang Taeman. I was certain that something was going in his mind. He had a paper folded, and he leaned towards Yeojun. I looked at the paper and noticed it was a paper bomb, but before I could stop him, he released the paper, making a loud sound, waking Jun up. Jun let out a small squeal and stood up from her seat, confusing everyone.
"Yah! I'm sorry. Are you okay?", Taeman tapped her shoulder.
Yeojun pushed him away and ran out of the class crying.
"YAHHH! WHY WOULD YOU ASK HER IS IF SHE IS OKAY?"
I followed her after screaming at Taeman.
She was crying because Taeman asked her whether she was okay. That sentence kind of triggered her ever since the incident happened. So every time anyone asked her if she was okay, she would run away and cry in a corner. I was feeling bad for her crying every now and then, so I promised her that I'll be there whenever she cries.
"Jun-ahhh", I called her.
She stopped when she heard my voice.
I rushed towards her and wrapped my arms around her. She busted into tears, wrapping her arms around me.
I chuckled at her behaviour.
"Yah! Why are you laughing?", She pushed me away from herself.
I couldn't control my laughter anyways.
"Ah! Get lost. I won't cry in front of you anymore", she stomped into the bathroom.