The next two hours were a blur of selfies, preparation for the stage and avoiding Sol -- the last one becoming more and more difficult as Soleil followed me around like a lost puppy.
Except puppies don't have a habit of stabbing people in the back.
I wish he wouldn't make it so difficult, being angry at him. I wished he'd leave already, tear off the bandage, as one person wouldn't have said.
I kept my distance, while Sol seemed to have finally taken a hint, because even though his eyes were full of sadness, he never spoke.
I didn't take notice.
We were early, but I liked that. Getting to soak in the last little bit of irresponsibility, reminiscing all the small things.
I offered to help with the preparations and was given a job with Sol to move some treats from Ms Eli's class to the school hall.
There was so much on my mind, I didn't even realize that my hands had started to shake until a branch of white boxes of confectioneries fell out of my hands.
"You okay?"
Sol stood behind me, setting a box he had down, hand on my shoulder.
I wanted to shake it off as my shoulders begin to tremble and suddenly, I didn't have it in me to stop.
To stop feeling, to stop missing him, to stop being scared about what's about to happen.
"It's really about to be over, isn't it?" I said it so softly, I barely heard it.
He pulled me in for a hug, allowing me to take in his seasalt scent.
I didn't know why I was acting like this, everything seemed so silly in hindsight: being angry over Sol leaving, feeling like this because everything felt like it was about to end.
It's like high school was the end-all-be-all, I knew it wasn't. There was still so much more life to be had.
"Can we still be friends?"