Kyle
Pain. That's what I felt through out my life. I don't even know why this fucking universe is causing me so much trauma. What even is my fault? I have no idea who I am. What my existence means. Even tho people have considered me the sunshine and epitome of love and happiness, do they even know that people like me also go through hell and back. I may be all that description but there's something which has caused me to run for my life, all my life. The moment I was born, I was escaping to safety 25/8 if that even makes sense.
But right at present, instead of sleeping on the hard cold floor like I did for the past one year, I felt a soft mattress beneath me and I felt a soft blanket on me. What is even more surprising is that I felt two strong arms wrapped around me and my arms also being around someone's waist. I wanted to see who is giving me this much warmth after so long. Who is this person. Is it a guy or a girl?
My eyes felt tired, i wanted to open them but constantly failed. Still I gave it my all and opened my eyes to a bright light immediately caused me to shut them again.
Again opening them but this time trying to adjust to the light source, and the first thing I see is a....wait is this a man or a woman?
Ours arms were engulfed with each other and our feet were touching each other. Wait this is a girl?!
And wow am I mesmerized by her? Hell yes I am. Even in my fucked up state I can't help but eye her up and down. She was wearing a white oversized shirt and black shorts which showed her toned and strong legs in full glory. Her strong arms and her jawline. Her pink lips which looked slightly chapped and her eyelashes, She is....she is so fucking out of this world!
I saw her opening her eyes because of me constantly shifting in her arms. She saw me and just stared at me. Her eyes were burning into mine. It unintentionally caused my cheeks to get hot and pink.
"You are awake, how are you feeling now Kyle?"
I jolted up and sat. How does this woman know me?!
Wait how does she know my name?
"H-how do you know my name?" I asked her timidly.
"I know you more than you know yourself, get fresh and come out for breakfast, you look like you haven't eaten in months" she said and got up and went out the door.
What the fuck? Don't tell me she is one of them and has me kidnapped!
I know I'm being unreasonably paranoid right now. I mean I do remember her rescuing me from my kidnappers, I remember her friend carrying me to her place. If she really was one of them then she wouldn't treat me so nicely.
Sighing I just quickly washed my face and looked into the mirror, my face looked bad but it seemed like I finally had a goodnight sleep after so long. I didn't feel so drained and my clothes...wait WHOSE HOODIE AND SHORTS IS IT?!
I don't remember wearing this for sure...omg don't tell me something happened between us last night?!
"Will you come out for breakfast or do I have to drag you out myself" i heard her yell and immediately got out. Fuck what if something actually happened?
I was greeted with the smell of fresh pancakes and waffles. There were many items placed on the table. Wow she must be a good cook.
I sat quietly on the dining table and looked at the food. It had been a long time since i've had actual food rather than left overs. The food smelled insanely delicious and I couldn't wait to devour everything in sight.
"Eat up I know you're feeling hungry right" she said as she sat on the table with her plate of food. Her right arm was completely covered in a sleeve tattoo.
She had a snake tattoo with a few dandelions on her arm which are my favorite by the way. Her left arm had some random designs and there was one tattoo on the nape of her neck.
It must've hurt a lot.
Her biceps were looking so strong and her red hair was completely messy. The androgynous form of hers is so mesmerizing.
Suddenly I was taken back to my thought of "something happening between us". Yeah that thought.
"Umm..." i started and she looked at me still holding her fork.
"What is it? You don't like the food?"
"No! The food is delicious, i-i wanna ask something" fuck I couldn't even look into her cold eyes.
"Go ahead, shoot the question" she said and I took a deep breath.
"Did we have sex last night?"
She literally choked on the waffle and I immediately regretted asking that. She took some time to calm herself before answering,
"Just because you're wearing my hoodie and my brother's shorts doesn't mean we had sex okay? Don't worry I won't touch you unless you want me to" she casually said as if it was a normal conversation.
My ears, cheeks, basically my whole body burned up at her statement.
But I need to thank her for helping me last night. If it weren't for her then I would probably be sent back to that same hell i've been escaping all my life.
"Umm I just want to thank you for helping me last night. Even tho we don't know each other, I really appreciate your kindness" i said with my gratitude filled voice but the moment i said we don't know each other, she tensed. She clutched the fork tightly and her eyebrows clashed in disappointment.
Did I say something wrong?
"It was my duty to help you, don't mention it. What time is your class starting? I'll drop you to the university since it is near by" she said.
I became slightly stiff at the statement.
How do I tell her that I don't go to uni anymore.
"Umm the thing is that I don't go to university anymore. I...I had to drop out" I said while looking down and playing with my fingers in anxiety.
"What the fuck why? When did you drop out? Didn't you attend special classes?" She started to bombard me with questions.
Bombarding with questions. I hate it. It keeps reminding me of the horrible times i've gone through. All i did was answer questions which I had no idea about. Unknowingly tears started to accumulate in my eyes as I tried holding them back.
"Please don't ask me too many questions. I get scared" I whispered softly.
She saw my tear filled eyes. I could tell she wanted to hug me but I don't want anyone touching me. No i hate it. It...it reminds me...no no I don't want to re live it again please. Even tho she probably held me all night, i still don't want anyone near me. Those filthy hands, the disgusting voices, their dirty smirks and their nasty hands over me.
"NO! DONT COME NEAR ME PLEASE!!" I started to scream. At this rate I'm surprised how i still have my voice. It should've been gone by now.
"Kyle! Hey hey calm down i'm sorry for asking questions out no where" she said from her place, even tho she wanted to hold me, I ran towards a small corner and curled into a ball. I hid my face in my knees not wanting to look anywhere else.
"Kyle listen to me" i hear her voice as she leans down to face me.
"I promise you that you're safe here. Whoever is trying to hurt you will never come near you as long as i'm here. You can trust me" she softly said but still I wouldn't budge. How can I trust anyone? I cannot.
"N-no y-you'll s-send m-m-me b-back to those horrible people. Don't come near me!"
She sighed and said, "i told you i'm not going to send you to anyone. You're safe in my house okay? I swear to the heavens that nobody is gonna touch you as long as i'm here" this time i felt a bit of comfort from her words. This sense of comfort is so familiar to me. It's as if i've heard this same voice long back. But why am I not able to remember it?
I looked up and saw she had her arms wide open for me to hug her. And instead of being scared, i launched myself into her arms. She protectively wrapped her arms around me as I sobbed silently. She didn't say a word and just held me like i'm going to slip away from her any second. Her scent is so calming. I buried my face into the crook of her neck inhaling that mesmerizing scent. God I didn't want this to end. I wanna stay like this, protected.
After a few minutes, I separated myself from her, the tears stains on my eyes are clear. She brought her hand to my face and wiped my tears. Her touch. Again why is it so familiar yet so difficult to remember.
"Do you wanna rest for sometime?" She asked me.
If i sleep then my nightmares are gonna haunt me again. I shook my head saying no.
"You will stay in this house for the time being okay? If you feel bored, watch some tv or there's a gym in the ground floor, you can go and exercise too. If you need anything then my number is +xxxxxxxxxx
Don't hesitate to call me using the landline okay?"
I nodded my head in response.
"Where are you going now?" I ask her. "I have to visit my brother and then i need to go to uni"
"Oh okay.." i felt sad being alone but again I can't stop her daily activities because of me.
"Don't worry this complex has high security so no one is going to break in. If anyone here asks you about being here then tell them that i live with Sophia".
"Your name is Sophia?" I asked.
She sighs, "yes that's my name" she replies.
"I'm leaving right now. I'll try to be back soon but I need certain answers from you once i'm back" her voice suddenly turns cold which causes shivers to run down my spine.
"Wait I-
I couldn't even finish my sentence when she leaves and shuts the main door. I ran my fingers through my hair in frustration. Where have I landed myself into? Another mess. I cannot trust this woman just because she emits comforting energy or saved me from my kidnappers. How long can she even protect me, they'll come for me sooner or later. Those bastards will do anything to reach their goal, even if it meant to kill someone or anything inhumane.
I have to get out of here. Yes there is no way i'm gonna hang around here.
I thought and reached for the main door handle and tried to twist it to open it only to find out that it has been shut from the outside!
DID SHE JUST LOCK ME IN HERE?!
"HELLO!! SOMEONE LET ME OUT! CAN ANYONE HEAR ME?!" I started to bang on the door but got no response from any end.
I fell on my knees in defeat. There's no way to escape now. I think she purposefully locked me in so I can't get out. Then I remembered she left her number on a piece of paper. I gritted my teeth in anger and reached for that paper. Then I went towards the landline and dialed the number since I didn't have my phone with me. Well technically for a year i didn't have a phone.
It took three rings for her to pick up and before she could even say anything, I shouted,
"HOW DARE YOU LOCK ME IN YOUR HOUSE HUH? IM NOT SOME SORT OF DOG TO BE KEPT INSIDE, LET ME OUT OF HERE THIS INSTANT OR I'LL TURN YOUR HOUSE INTO A MESS!"
She sighed,
"Look Kyle I knew you wouldn't trust me so easily and you would try to get out, but unfortunately I cannot let you outside for the time being. I-
Again i stopped her mid sentence.
"Look just let me go, i have no business with you nor do i know you. Nor do I have to give answers to a complete stranger so please....let me go. I promise I won't tell anyone that I was in your place hiding"
"No. You're staying there. You and I have more business than you think. And about me being a stranger...that doubt will soon disappear from your brain so for now relax and wait for me"
"Wait Sophia please-
"Bye i'll be back soon"
She cuts the call and i slammed the landline phone down and plopped on the couch. When am I ever going to be free from this misery? What have i done to deserve this. I've turned into a broken doll who people just use and throw away. I own nothing and yet they want to own me. Nothing is under my possession.
I decided to take a hot shower to calm my muscles. I got up and walked towards the bathroom. I stripped my clothes off and took a look in the mirror. My body filled with whip marks, cigarettes burns, stun gun marks, bruises which don't physically hurt but mentally killed me. I gently brush my fingers against all the marks and let out a shaky sigh. My back is worse, i turned around and saw through the other mirror which gave a clear description of how used my body looks.
I entered the shower cubicle and turned on the hot water and let it wash away any impurity from my body. Everything was flashing in front of my eyes. Screams, cries, begging to let me go. Even after saying and screaming no, they didn't stop. Their hands kept roaming all over me. Thankfully it never went ahead of that otherwise I would've killed myself.
Me being in pain was pleasure to them. I fell on my knees once again and sobbed silently. I wanted someone to gently touch me. I wanted to give and receive a pure form of love and affection. I wanna protect my love yet i'm so weak that I can't even do that.
I just want someone to feel like home.