Your feet scraped the carpet, collecting debris as you trekked the theater aisle. Your movement collected the attention of the audience at your left and right; it even earned whispers. A piece of paper in your hand, the wind of your walk making a flag out it.
Your eyes were fixed on the patterns of the floor as you neared the stairs to get on stage. You treaded the steps, going to the microphone at the center. Creaking wood echoed the unvarying silence of the auditorium as you moved.
You kept your eyes fixed to the floor, standing before the mic. You bit the corner of your lip, it trembling as you did so. You straightened out the paper in your hand, lining it up to read while swallowing your salivated nerves.
Your eyes skimmed the paper, and an unsteady breath escaped your lips. The action earning you a screech from the microphone, startling you a bit. Your breathing picked up, chest rising as you stood clenching the paper. Your nails poking a hole into it the tighter your grip became.
"I —," you started and ended, just as fast, your breathing was hollow, so your voice cracked. Suddenly, you balled the paper up, tossing it over your shoulder. The bouncing of the paper ball providing much needed sound in the dead silent theater.
Finally, you peered into the sea of people; allowing yourself to explore the gaze of the onlookers. Nervously, but hastily, you rolled down your sleeves to the point of covering your hands. Your feet shuffled closer while you shivered at the cold expressions in the room.
You closed your eyes. You shook where you stood, picking at the helm of your shirt.
You exhaled, softly, and opened your eyes. You nodded, centering yourself as your body became still with something you didn't deserve: comfort.
"I still loved.
I know so many of you don't believe me,
I know she didn't.
Not after the first time,
Not after the second time,
Not after the last time,
I know she didn't.
But I still loved.
No matter how many times she asked me
"Why'd you do it?"
Her eyes would water,
with a squint of disbelief
That the girl she loved would ever cheat,
ever allow someone else to use her favorite face as a seat,
Her favorite place to eat,
To meet,
and run my hands along someone else's body.
Pelvic to pelvic,
meat to meat,
I know how she felt about it
Disbelief—
that the girl she loved would ever be dishonest,
ever be this honest,
When she was no longer listening,
Eyes no longer glistening,
pain of my actions,
Grief—
Forcing her back into christening,
conditioning
her value to zero,
God became her hero
Because of my sin.
But I still loved.
No matter how many times I broke her trust,
Promised, "I'd never do it again"
Swore from Mount Everest,
That that girl was just my friend,
Knowing damn well that when this argument ends,
I'll see her again.
Until I'm caught,
back where the story begins
"Jenna, she's just my friend."
You licked your lips, wiping a tear from your face.
I wish I could've apologized and meant it,
But these demons,
They tormented,
Me — My love for you,
Plaguing me because they knew,
If I was anything good to you,
It was untrue.
But I still loved.
And I love you now.
I know you're in a better place,
Free from me and my love constraint,
Free from cheating and complaint,
My inability to repaint,
your glasses back
— rose-tinted,
so delusion can cast me a saint.
You covered your mouth, allowing your tears to fall freely. Your eyes skimmed the many onlookers in the crowd; disgust spiking the room.
You swallowed,
"I know you blame me for her suicide,
I blame me too.
I know you wish it was me and not her,
I wish it was me too.
But this is the only time she'll be free,
from me,
of me.
Fucked up irony,
That to escape me,
she was tried,
And sentenced to death,
so she could live freely,
peacefully.
I deserve the scrutiny,
The way you look at me with disgust,
With disdain,
With pain,
With judgement behind your eyes.
I know what I cost you,
Cost her,
the first time,
the second time,
and the last time
I know so many of you won't believe me,
I know she didn't.
But I still loved."
You quickly left the mic as an uproar ensued. The clamoring of unhappy people shouting at you while you walked to the casket just a few feet behind you. You stared at the woman with uneven breathing as more tears flooded your eyes. Everything hitting you at once:
"There's somebody I like, yeah," Jenna flipped her hair.
"My celebrity crush? Maybe Jenna Ortega, I don't know — she's mesmerizing," you nodded.
"I didn't mean to ruin your shirt," Jenna panicked.
You laughed, patting Jenna's blouse dry, "We've got to stop running into each other like this."
"I want to get to know you," you and Jenna spoke.
"You know you're my favorite person in the world?" She asked, wrapping her arms around your waist.
"I'm somebody's favorite face," you smirked.
"You'll be my personal munch if you keep looking at me like that." Jenna pointed.
You smacked, "My god, you're a goddamn chef! What's in this?"
Jenna cupped your face, "Love and happiness."
You covered your mouth, "You want to do what with me?"
"Touch me...," she whispered.
"Not before I tell you how much you mean to me..." you kissed the back of her hand.
"Long stay in Coachella, I guess," you covered your bruised neck.
"What happens in California, stays in California." Jenna giggled.
"I want this with you Jenna... I want us to be more," you exclaimed.
"I love you so much," Jenna kissed you.
"I love her so much," you gushed.
The truth about Y/N and Jenna: EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW
"I wouldn't say we're Hollywood's favorite couple," she looked at you, "Baby, what do you think?"
"I think you're the most selfish woman in the world!" You yelled, running your hands into your hair.
"You did what?" Jenna's voice cracked.
You dragged her by her hands, "I got you something, I don't want you to be mad at me forever."
"I forgive you," she smiled, pecking your lips.
"I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, but it will never happen again."
"Who the fuck is that?" Jenna snatched your phone, "who the fuck is this?"
"It's me being done, I can't keep doing this Y/N, it hurts."
"You're not finished yet are you?" You teased, rolling her over onto her stomach.
Jenna bit her lip, fighting her tears, "I can't... Y/N, please leave me alone."
"You said fuck me, right? What the fuck you mad for?"
"I just want to know why her?!"
Y/N spotted with mystery woman.
"She's just my friend."
"You're a liar!" Jenna shoved you.
You kissed her jaw, "You're the best I've ever had."
"Fuck, why won't she pick up?" Jenna furrowed her brows.
"I didn't touch her!"
"Don't fucking call me ever again!"
"Jenna, call me when you get a chance alright? I miss you."
"You keep hurting me... Y/N... I can't forgive you again... I'm losing myself."
Jenna Ortega drops out of Scream 8.
"I know you hate me but I want to stop by... check on you. Call me back?" You spoke into the voicemail.
"This will be the last time you see this house."
"You're moving?"
"I'm so sorry Jenna." You cracked.
You pulled a pair of shades from your pants, throwing them on. You exited the stage, security waiting for you to help you push through.
"You're sick!" "Hell is hot!" "Murderer!"
"You read poetry at her funeral!" "Disgusting!"
"I hate you!" "She killed Jenna!" "Murderer!"
"You dumb bitch!" "Twisted fucking woman!"
"You shouldn't have been here!" "Cheater!"
"Cheater!" "Liar!" "Cheater!" "Liar!"
"Count your fucking days!" "Murderer!"
Some of the many things plaguing your ears, as you were escorted through the rancid crowd as many of the funeral goes tried to do you harm. Your eyes scoured the many people reaching for you; recognizing many of them. Jenna's family, family friends, friends, friends' families, coworkers, executives, and more terrifyingly, fans.
Security was almost overrun as they got you out of auditorium. More screaming rung your ears as the many fans tried to get their hands on you outside as well. Your journey through the building to your car was a long one and a bloodcurdling experience. You'd never been so terrified.
Just as you were in your car, watching as the many people banged on your windows. People were spitting on your window, trying to break it, and tugging on your door handle. You shrunk in your seat, covering your head while a hand softly rubbed your back. You cried your eyes out, failing to drown out the pain of the situation.
Your driver moved through the crowd as the owner of the hand spoke to you, "It's alright baby."
You looked up, teary eyed and broken, meeting the gaze of the woman, "I can't do this..."
She replied, "I know, it's going to be hard, but you have me and I have you — were all each other needed."
"This is so fucked."
"I know but we're going to get through this, okay? Together like we've been."
"They'll never forgive us, Emma."
* * *
WC: 1580
A/N: ...so the weather outside is really ni— you said what??
Run!?
🏃🏽♀️🏃🏽♀️💨💨💨