February 13, 2013
Amelia is a happy baby, and Elizabeth knows the difference.
Despite the scare she put them all through, and the hours her and Philip spent in the private chapel at Sandringham, Amelia is perfectly happy. Harry bounces around the room with her, hand supporting her neck like Jaclyn showed him, and the entire time she gurgles with an open mouth expression that looks like a lopsided smile.
"You did it," Philip whispers with a mocking wink that he knows she'll loathe while both the new parents follow Harry with outstretched hands. She scoffs, hands folded gracefully in her lap, reminiscing about moments in her youth when her children were so young and she was so inexperienced.
Because, despite what the media and her secretaries say, Amelia is a child. A happy child who doesn't see titles and crowns, but the day will come when it sets in that a kingdom is passed on through her family. When she'll look at her father and see her predecessor, and in her mother she'll see all the ways they differ.
"Harry please be careful," William sighs, following his younger brother like a protective shadow. Arms at the ready in case anything goes wrong. Jaclyn sits beside her trying to sit back and relax, but it's clear in her tight smile she's just as nervous.
They're alone in Kensington, the doors closed to even the staff, and there's something intimate about it. Something new and refreshing.
Philip scoffs, turning to Jaclyn with a teasing disbelief. "They're both hooligans."
"I suppose if it tires her out…"
He tisks again, "She's a Windsor I'm afraid nothing will tire her out. Harry!" He yells down the hall that the three have disappeared down. "I came to see my great granddaughter, not for you to hog her the whole time."
Their only answer is more laughing and Amelia's occasional scream followed by William's low warning scold.
"How are you doing, dear?" Elizabeth asks Jaclyn, ignoring the men around her. The bags under the young woman's eyes are incandescent in shades of blue and purple now that the makeup for the cameras is gone. Somehow she looks more alive than she has in months. The shell of bones they grew accustomed to is gone. Her hollow and translucent cheeks fill out with color and a smile that doesn't crack, a light and glow to her that will put everyone at ease.
Her head tilts, blonde hair falling like tangled threads of gold as she beams her smile, her trademark smile that threatens to consume her entire face. Once upon a time the look was so American in Elizabeth's mind, but now she simply sees her granddaughter in law.
"I'm doing better. I've started doing yoga and pilates to help build back my strength."
"If you want a real sport you should join me on the carriage…" Philip loses his train of thought, even though Jaclyn looks genuinely interested, as Harry comes skipping back in snickering. Her husband, despite his rough exterior, is taken with the little girl who's placed in his arms.
She wiggles and fights to go back and play with her uncle, but Harry tickles her belly and steps back. "I know Uncle Harry is your favorite," he laughs, and she continues to wiggle and squirm.
"Amelia Elizabeth Diana!" Jaclyn playfully scolds, and her and Philip laugh together as she stands to come hover beside him. They dote over the little girl, tickling her tummy and playing with her toes, but the Queen struggles to focus on the child and not the name.
Elizabeth doesn't often think about her passed daughter in law, but she's thought about her these last couple of weeks. She thinks about the queen she could have been, and the grandmother she should be. A part of her knew from the second William told her it was a girl, that Diana would be in her name, and she's still not sure how to feel.
Mostly guilty that Diana herself isn't here with them, and worried that a name can be a curse. She glances over at her husband and Jaclyn, and prays Amelia will turn out to look like her mother like everyone's predicting. Living up to a ghost is hard enough, but looking like one is a different challenge entirely.
"Come here squirmy, time to meet granny," Jaclyn whispers, carefully lifting up Amelia and Elizabeth focuses just in time for her third heir to be placed in her arms.
Living up to her name Amelia kicks and tries to roll, the sleeves of her baby grower bunched and loose over her scrawny limbs. "Well you're just like your father."
"I wasn't that bad." William huffs finale reappearing in the drawing room.
She hums, her smile still pointed down at her great granddaughter who has frozen upon hearing her voice. "No, he was worse."
Amelia gives her a gummy smile, gurgling around the tiny fist she's shoved into her mouth, and oh she's such a happy baby.
Have you been watching her? I'll watch her from down here, if you do so from up there…
—---
February 27, 2013
"Oh my gosh, I want one!"
"No," Arthur deadpans, eyeing Mia apprehensively from over Thomas's shoulder. While Jaclyn's old dance partner coos and tickles Amelia with the goofiest grin, Arthur has managed to keep his distance despite William's pestering.
"Me and kids don't mix," he explains, dark brown eyes narrowing when Thomas tries to hand him Mia. "We've been over this!" They all start to laugh as Arthur scampers behind William, and Amelia remains hysterically unaware. She's probably still trying to understand who Thomas is while he smiles down at her.
Jaclyn leans back into the sofa, her legs curling up towards her chest while she watches her best friend with her daughter. She's been home for two weeks now, and it's finally becoming easier to relax. They've had a constant flow of people coming in and out as well, and some ways it helps but in others it just stresses her out.
The first week out of the hospital William and her didn't sleep much. They both hovered over Amelia's crib, scared to take their eyes off her, and when she seemed too still Jaclyn always pressed her gently to her daughter's stomach, finding comfort in her tiny heartbeat. Any cry would jolt them, any sneeze or cough scared them, and everything in the world seemed dangerous to a baby who was just on a ventilator.
Thomas carefully moves from the chair across the drawing room to beside Jaclyn, carefully sitting down on the soft cushions of the sofa without taking his eyes off Amelia. "She's so much like you Jac."
Jaclyn smiles, looking down at her daughter with crossed eyes and a twisted mouth, and Mia gurgles happily, hands stretching as far as she can to reach her mum. As her fingers flex Jaclyn can start to see what everyone is saying. The shape of Amelia's eyes are uncannily similar to her own, round and soul sucking, while the thin wispy of her golden hair are starting to curl along her head.
Still so much can change.
"Oh no you don't," Thomas gasps, pulling her arms back down, while giving her a playfully wounded look. He continues to tickle her, and the happy sounds she makes are infectious enough for Arthur to even come closer.
"Are you sure you don't want to hold her?" William tries again, and again Arthur firmly shakes his head, but his stare has softened curiously.
Behind them there's frantic steps pounding the floor growing in sound, and as if anticipating who it is Thomas protectively pulls Amelia closer with a little pout. That's when Natania literally bursts into the room, energy mirroring a lost firecracker.
"Princess Mia's favorite godmother and unofficial aunt is here!"
Jaclyn tries to scold Thomas for the fake annoyed huff he lets out, but the picture of him and Amelia huddled close together chokes her. The shape of his arms almost resembles the positions he used to hoist her up once upon a time.
So her heart squeezes when she carefully picks Mia up and hands her to Nat. She'll need more kids just so her friends won't get jealous and fight over Mia like toddlers with a toy.
Natania's swooning, lips parting in a content sigh while her fiery eyes crinkle like silk. It's then that Jaclyn's reminded that her and Leo were still trying for kids of their own, and the defeat is cascading through her oldest friend, although through a veil adoration.
Dramatically, Thomas slouches onto her, longingly gazing at their friend who's brushing Mia's wisps from her eyes. "Thomas please, I already feel bad enough-
"It's fine, I don't care."
Except he does, but Jaclyn could only choose so many people for godparents, and the courtiers at Buckingham weren't going to hear anything about a gay man being the heir to the throne's godfather. She didn't have enough sway over there to change any minds, so she was left to run her hands through Thomas's in an ill attempt at comfort.
He knows why, but can't seem to express the anger and frustration aloud. Jaclyn could feel the betrayal pierce her with his watery eyes the second she explained the situation. Strangers would be Mia's godparents over him.
"Trust me I'll have plenty more children." But his upside down smile doesn't reach his eyes.
-----
March 1, 2013
"There's nothing wrong with this land!" Jaclyn exclaims, marching beside her dad who stalks up and down the property line. The grass mushes under her feet, tall stalks flicking against her rubber work boots and muddy jeans.
Brad brushes her off, scrutinizing the brick home with his chin lifted. The street is quiet, not as secluded as they’re used to but peaceful all the same. "It's too expensive."
"It's well within your budget!"
"No," he retorts calmly without looking back at her, "It's within the budget you gave me."
She huffs completely exasperated and looks back to her mom who's following Caleb as he runs up and down through the fenced in yard. She's doing her best to ignore them both, knowing how they get and knowing nothing will be settled today.
Jaclyn's close to pulling out her hair or pulling out her dad's, whichever one seems more appealing when the time comes. They were considering making the move to London, but nothing could happen until several things were settled.
They had to have some place to live. London proved to be too crowded, too loud and busy for her family who were so used to small town life. However, land in the country while nice proved to be more expensive. They also had to consider Caleb's needs, and he needed a good school, but living near those areas also proved to be challenging.
"It's normal to let your kids help out with money," she snaps, pulling the ball cap down lower over her head. If a photographer stalked her all the way here she won’t give them the benefit of capturing a photo of her looking pissed.
So far the semi detached and terraced houses were too close together. Others needed extra work, or didn’t have enough yard space. The area wasn’t safe enough for Jaclyn’s liking, but then they were too expensive for her father.
Her dad's annoyed, blue eyes match hers in ferocity, but still she feels their cold turn her bones brittle. "But it's not your money is it? It's barely even your husband's."
The accusation causes her to stumble, like a bullet piercing her abdomen. It's a well placed shot that squeezes through her defenses and hits her right where she's vulnerable. She doesn't like the money they have, it scares her more than it is a comfort. There's no reason for one person to have that much so she gives back as much as she can.
But her father's ignorance just proves how ridiculous he thinks it all is. How ridiculous he thinks she's become. "I'm not talking about taxpayer money. William has an inheritance from both his great grandmother and his mother, and he's had a military salary for years." She knows her voice is edging on hysterical, but she hardly cares.
Something about arguing with her dad blinds her. They're too similar, and watching him is like watching a reflection of herself. His own boots are stuck to the ground outside the quaint home she found for them in Chatham.
"Oh! You might've forgotten, but I had a job for ten years. It's not a lot but I have my own money, and you’re not going to find a house anywhere in this country for your budget unless you want to buy a box. Would you like to live in a box, dad?"
"That's enough!" Her mom's snap cracks like a whip, halting them both in place. It's not often that her mom raises her voice, but when she does everyone listens. "You two, this arguing is getting us nowhere. We don't even know if the schools in this area will accept Caleb."
"Mom," Jaclyn deadpans, fighting with the hair that blows across her eyes in the wind that's picking up. "Caleb is going to get accepted into any school he wants here."
The sun is covered, but glows in a way that turns the while sky a silver in the clouds. It's that shadowed light that makes her parents twin warning glares sharper. "It's just the truth, and it's nothing we can control. It'll be the same way for you dad. A lot of the aristocrats in the area will want to hire you as a freelance landscaper just to see you, but they'll pay really well."
A part of her hates that. Knowing people will hire him to simply gawk or sneer down their noses that the Duchess of Cambridge's father is working for them. Life will be better in England, Caleb will finally be in a school that cares and her dad can make money that's worth his time, but there's a price to pay.
They'll play the part of zoo animals like she does, but she can hope living outside of London will make the transition easier.
"So reverse nepotism?" Her dad scoffs.
"Not exactly how it works, dear." In her mom's voice she can hear the draining energy burning into annoyance, and they're almost on the brink of another argument.
It's then they see Caleb again, headphones now pulled over his head now sitting on the stone steps leading up to the house. He's blinking with unfocused eyes, but there's no doubt he's seeing everything. Even when his hands flap and he starts humming, Jaclyn's soul feels exposed in the light blue hue of his stare that lingers somewhere over her shoulder.
Her dad exhales, going over to sit on the steps with Caleb. "Do you like it here?" He asks, gaze lingering in the distance with his son, and Jaclyn and her mom slowly come to join them. Caleb is silent for a bit, but no one rushes him knowing he needs the time to fully think over the question. He answers anything without completely thinking it through.
Jaclyn takes the time to examine everything. From the fading brick to the overgrown plants that crawl up the walls of the yard. The neighbors are closer than her parents are used to, and Caleb scrutinizes the gray sky like he's wary of the color, but then his stare switches to hers where they're fully connected.
"We'll be closer, Jac?"
"Yeah, bubba, a lot closer."
This time when he pauses it's not nearly as long. "Yeah, I like it here."
------
Kind of a filler, but I like some of the thoughts that are breached here that will come into play later in the story. I especially loved getting to write seeing Mia through the Queen's eyes, and I had a good time working on this last part with Jac's family. I feel like it shows how Jaclyn is stuck bridging these two worlds.
Sorry for the week long delay. That portfolio that was supposed to be 70 pages ended up being 170, and then I had final after. But here I am and on coronation day! Has anyone watched? I'm hoping to catch the playbacks later tonight once we're back home.
Tell me what you guys think!!!