"There you are?!" you yelped, sitting up on Vada's bed as she crept into her room holding a plate of cake. A fork in her mouth.
"Where have you been?!"
She flashed crazy eyes at you while setting the plate down on her desk. She patted the air for you to lower your voice as she locked her room door, she took the fork out her mouth, "Can you not yell, I think Amelia has company. There's like cake and stuff downstairs."
"Vada?!" You ignored her request, keeping your voice up.
Vada cluelessly looked at you while she picked the cake with her fork, "Do you want some?"
"No!" You stood up, "Where were you?" You were clenching your jaw and shaking your head as she shrugged at your refusal, taking a bite. Vada groaned aloud at the taste; you yelled, "Can you stop stuffing your face and answer my fucking question?!"
The small girl looked you over, staring into your angry face with her doe eyes, licking icing from the corner of her mouth, "I was at Mia's..."
You scoffed at the mention of the other girl while putting your hands on your hips, tapping your foot, you mumbled, "You're always at fucking Mia's."
"Can you please sit down," Vada stuck her fork in her cake and took the helm of your shirt, she softly tugged you to sit as she sat on her bed, "Why are you so upset?"
You snatched your clothing from her grip, startling her. "That was a joke, right?"
Vada shook her head, "Please, mi amor. I-I'm too high for this, just tell me what's wrong?"
You made a face of disgust and it was right then where you lost it, "You're high too?! Oh my god, do you know what today is?!"
You put your hands up, "Scratch that, do you even care what today is?"
Vada bit the corner of her lip, pondering. She scanned her room to find something that would give her the answer; shifting between your visibly heightening anger, her slice of cake and the desk in her room. That's when she found it — her calendar, scribbled in a green marker: mi amor's birthday
Vada glanced at the cake then you; she put two and two together. Immediately, she exhaled in disappointment; her high thinning out quick. She dropped her head as she played with the rings on her fingers, "Y/N, mi amo—"
"You had it right the first time. Don't call me anything that's not my name, Vada," You affirmed, stepping away from her.
Vada clasped her hands together, water filling her eyes. You shook your head in disbelief, "How could you forget my birthday?! You plan me a date — all this about Build-A-Bear Workshop and you don't show up for it nor keep your word?!"
Vada sniffled as you ranted, "You're just M.I.A, all day —no text, no call, nothing... not even a fucking happy birthday, but here you are stuffing my birthday cake down your throat because you're fucking high from a time you had with someone else on a day you were supposed to spend WITH me."
Vada shut her eyes, standing up and exhaling, "Y/N, I'm sorry." She shuffled close to you. Quietly, she hooked a finger in a loop on your jeans, she pulled you closer. You collided into her with frustration across your face; you watched her. Vada rubbed along your torso, biting her lip, "I can make it up to you," she sent you a dark glare. She pulled you in for an involuntary, very much one sided kiss. Weed and cake flooding your senses as her lips molded forcefully against yours.
You pulled away, huffing, "Vada!" The small girl stood on her tippy toes trying to get another kiss from you; one that wasn't one-sided and that would take it to the next level. You struggled to push her back onto her feet, "Fucking stop!"
Vada let out a frustrated grunt, "Let me — please," she looked at her clock, "your birthday is over in 2 hours —"
Interrupting the girl, you ranted, "Exactly, my birthday is over in 2 hours, and you just showed up high, hungry and now, horny. Barely even that — you think that shit will make me feel better?! Do you even care how you've made me feel?"
Vada huffed; she was getting impatient, "Yes, I care. I apologized, didn't I?"
"That was your apology?" You shunned, disbelief overcame your face as Vada threw a tantrum, she threw herself onto her bed face down, screaming into her pillow.
"Are you serious Vada?! You mutter two words and then sex ...and then it's all supposed to go away?!"
Vada rolled over, turning over to face you, whining as she kicked her feet, "Oh my goddddd."
"You're unbelievable and single." you quickly gathered your things.
She sat up with haste, "Whoa, wh— what can we talk first?!"
"It's late. I should get home. My mom's been calling, so has my sister and best friend. They're all dying to see the bear you took me to make." You unlocked her room door and before you could pass through, Vada tugged at your arm.
"Y/N, wait, please — hold on," She anxiously bit her lip, her eyes unblinking as they searched your expressionless face, "I'll take you out tomorrow, okay? And we're still together, okay? Just let me make up for all of this. Just please —"
"Vada." You rolled your eyes as Vada pleaded, "Please, mi amor, I want to right a wrong, okay? I don't want to lose you... just let me make it up to you..."
That was a year ago.
You stirred while rhythmic bells tolled from your nightstand. You blindly reached for your phone, answering and grumbling, "Hello."
"HAAPPY BIIRTHDAAY TO YOU!" The caller sang loudly into your ear. You groaned, pulling the phone from your head. You looked at the caller id: TWINNEM😈
Twinnem was Quinn, your best friend. You put your phone back, letting him continue his song, "HOW OOOOOOLD ARE YOU?"
"Eighteen." You mumbled, giggling from your diaphragm.
"HOW OOOOOOLD ARE YOU?"
"EIGHTEEN," you answered louder this time, causing Quinn to laugh.
He cheered, "There's the birthday girl, loud and awake! You ready? I made plans!"
You groaned, "You know I hate plans."
Quinn smacked his teeth, "This isn't last year and I'm not Vada."
You rolled your eyes while he assured you, "I keep my word. Today gone be a good day!"
"Yeah, yeah, after school," you whined.
"Fuck all that, we starting right now! I'm getting you Chik-Fil-A this morning."
You perked up, "Whoa, princess treatment?"
"Yeah, princess treatment, but only because it's your day. Tomorrow you will be demoted back to homegirl," he confirmed and you laughed, "Anyway, I'll let you know when I'm close, alright?"
"Okay, thank you, I love you," you smiled.
"I love you too." Quinn wrapped, ending the call. You spent an additional minute laying there and scrolling through the notifications you'd received in your slumber.
One made you blush and then you got out of bed, dragging your feet to your room door. Just as it opened, your mother and sister were waiting for you with huge smiles painted on their faces. Your sister held a small birthday cake and your mother held her cellphone.
Your mother counted down as the flash of her phone lit your face, "Okay and sing!" The duo began to harmonize, "Happy birthday to you... happy birthday to you...." As they sang on you couldn't help but smile wide and shift a loving gaze shifting between them.
When they finished, you hugged them. Covering your mouth, you thanked softly, "Thanks, I love you guys."
"Try the cake, please!" Your mom encouraged before she took a few steps back, still actively recording.
"I made it!" Your sister squealed, and you raised a brow, carefully collecting some icing on your finger, "It's not poisoned right?"
Your sister deadpanned, "No, dork."
You giggled and tasted the cake. It brung your tastebuds to life. You were startled, gushing, "Whoa, that's really good!"
Your sister smirked, "You barely got a real taste!"
Before you could get anymore, your facial features were suffocating by way of icing and vanilla cake. The hallway burst into a fit of laughter while you clawed the cake from your eyes. You licked your lips, annihilating the two of them with your eyes.
"You got her so good!" Your mom laughed before ending the video. Your sister shrugged boastfully. Your mom shook her head as she left, "You're going on Facebook, Y/N! Everyone is going to flip!"
Your sister shouted, "Your actual cake is in the fridge! Love you sis!"
You blinked in disbelief as you made your way into the bathroom. You were absolutely appalled but you were happy to be celebrated.
You hopped in the shower, getting your morning started. Just when you finished outfitting yourself, Quinn texted you:
TWINNEM 😈:
im outside bday royalty
let's gooooo
You:
coming rn
Just as you closed out the thread, you received another message:
vcavell021@icloud.com:
happy birthday, y/n.. i hope you enjoy your day and get celebrated the way you deserve to be. i love you..
You quickly swiped the message away, locking your phone. Nope, not those feels again.
You slipped your phone in your back pocket, collecting your book bag and slinging it over your shoulder. You shouted while sprinting down the stairs, "Mom, I'm gone!"
"Okay, have a good day!" She exclaimed as you passed through the door. Immediately upon seeing your bestfriend's koolaid smile, you skipped to the car. He turned the music down as you got in, buckling yourself. Handing you your Chik-Fil-A, he said in a broken British accent, "Breakfast, your highness."
"Thank you, sir." You bowed and took the food, hugging him. After pulling away, he turned his music back up and drove off.
Arriving at school, Quinn parked and the two of you finished your breakfast, deep in a conversation about this afternoon's plans. You received a notification mid chat, and focused your attention on your phone. It was a notification from your mother, she tagged you in a video. The comments were flooding with birthday wishes and laughs.
You chuckled to yourself, and Quinn asked with a stuffed mouth, "What?"
"My sister smashed cake in my face, and my mom just posted the video."
"This morning?" Quinn chewed, and you nodded, starting the video for him. He laughed at you and the video, mocking your reaction. You shook your head, closing the app, and another message popped up on your phone:
vcavell021@icloud.com:
are u at school yet? i would like to see you .. if thats ok. i want to talk..and i got you something..
Your nostrils flared, complaining, "She's about to piss me off."
Quinn furrowed his brows, swallowing his water quickly, "Trouble in paradise already?"
You snapped your neck, "No!" You muttered, "It's Vada."
"She texted you? I thought you blocked her."
"I did. She texted from her email."
"I can't believe that shit can override a block."
"For real," you rose your brows.
"Well, what she say?"
You brokenly recited, "'Happy birthday, hope you have a better day than my fuckup last year, i love you.'" Quinn snickered as you went on, "And just then, she asked if I was here so we could talk and give me something."
Quinn opened his car door, stepping out and dusting his jeans, "Not she got you a gift. What you think it is?"
You shrugged, huffing, "Don't know, don't care."
Quinn reached for the trash, and he leveled, "I hear that but aye, if she wants to give you something. Take it."
"I don't want anything from her." You crossed your arms.
"I hear you, but Y/N/N — it's free shit," Quinn stepped away from the car to a trash can, he returned to you saying, "And it's your birthday."
"So? I don't want to talk to her."
"You ain't talking. You're taking your birthday gift and saying thanks, and continuing to move forward."
You smacked your teeth. Quinn surrendered, "Look, all I'm saying is take it." You side eyed him, he added, "Or don't, but at least say thank you for the birthday wish. It's the bare minimum, show gratitude."
You barked, "I didn't get the bare minimum. Fuck her and gratitude."
* * *
Students were talking loudly and eating breakfast in the lunchroom. Jocks and cheerleaders rambling about games, nerds smacking the pieces across a chessboard, and pretty people snapping photos. In the corner of the lunchroom, alone, is Vada.
Beside Vada was a large gift bag, and a 'happy birthday' balloon tied to the handle. On the table was a cup of coffee and her book bag. Vada's bottom lip was in her mouth as her eyes glossed over her phone screen.
"You got her so good!"
When the video of you ended, Vada's finger hovered over liking it. She opted not to instead pulling down her notification tab and checking if you texted back. Feeling like you wouldn't, Vada locked her phone and sat it face down on the table. She twisted her rings.
The table shook, forcing Vada's attention forth. It was Nick, whom had just slung his bag onto the table. He sat his coffee down and began unwrapping the plastic off his muffin. He asked her quickly, "Did Y/N respond yet?"
Vada focused back on her rings, softly answering, "No."
Nick froze momentarily, watching her, he assured her, "She'll answer."
"No she won't Nick." Vada closed her eyes, sighing, "I fucked up so bad."
Nick was chewing his muffin, he covered his mouth leaning further onto to the table. "It's been a year since everything went down, do you seriously think she's upset still?"
Vada deadpanned. "Yes."
Nick bit his muffin. He watched Vada whom was visibly regretful; she was rubbing the bridge of her nose with her eyebrows raised in despair. He licked the crumbs from the corner of his mouth, "Stop beating yourself up about what happened. It's done."
Vada groaned, "I can't help it."
"I get it, but you holding on to what you did is just as bad as her holding onto what happened, if she is. She's probably moved on. She's had enough time to."
Vada's head fell on the table. Nick assured her again, "She'll respond. Just be patient. It's her birthday after all, she's probably getting flooded with messages."
Vada lifted her head, complaining, "Or just choosing to ignore mine."
Nick was sliding his coffee between his hands, "Vada. If you're worried she's ignoring you, why go through all this trouble then? Why the gift? Why text her? Why bother?"
Vada explained, "Because I have to right a wrong Nick. I have to fix it." He sighed loudly, Vada reiterated, "I have to fix it."
"Well then be patient with your repair. You can't be worried she's ignoring you and hopeful for her to hear you out at the same time. You'll drive yourself crazy."
"I've been spiraling for a while now." Vada hooked her hands on her head.
"Because you're expecting too many things. Look, just be patient, and give your head and me a break. I'm spiraling too." Nick mimicked Vada's body language, earning a small laugh from her.
The two then got into a separate conversation until the bell rang. Her and Nick stood from the table and shared a hug. Vada entered the halls with the gift bag and balloon. There was an immense sorrow plaguing the girl every time the balloon floated into her line of sight or bopped her in the head. Adjusting her backpack on her shoulder, Vada kept her saddened gaze low.
Nearing her first period, she spotted you and some girl talking in the hallway. Instantly, Vada froze. You were leaned against the locker beside her, playing in your hair and laughing about something. Vada's eyes narrowed when the girl shut her locker and engulfed you in a hug. The second bell rang, and the hallway cleared, right along with the girl.
Oddly, you and Vada were the only two remaining in the hallway. You turned around with a flushed face. Only for it to go away the second you saw Vada. Your expression went cold as you examined her; Vada's dimples were accompanying a tight-lipped frown. You glanced at the balloon and gift bag. Deciding not to deal with it, you spun your heel, opting to go the other way. You got a single step in before: "Y/N!"
You quickly took more steps, turning the corner.
"Y/N! Can we talk please!?" Vada raised her voice. Before you knew it, footsteps were behind you. Your jaw tightened knowing it was Vada.
Trying to lose her, you entered the stairwell and hastily moved down the first flight. The clanging of the door's exit device echoed in the stairwell, Vada begged loudly, "Mi amor, can you please stop?!"
You halted your steps once you reached the landing, furrowing your brows at the girl, "Don't you fucking call me that!"
"You answered and stopped." Vada assured you.
"Then let me shut up and keep going!" You spat.
With quickness, Vada sat the gift bag down and chucked her book bag down the stairs, interrupting your line of movement. You jumped as her bag landed just before it could hit you. Stepping back, you cut your eyes at her with irritation brewing in you. Vada threw her arms out, pleading, "I'm sorry for throwing that but I need talk to you please. Five minutes. I just want to right a wrong, okay?"
"You just threw your fucking book bag at me!" You yelped, "How many more wrongs are you going to make before you need to right them?!"
"Y/N, I said I'm sorry." Vada sighed, opening her mouth to speak further. You cut her off fast, exclaiming, "As if your apology matters!"
"I just need five minutes!" Vada's arms dropped to her sides, her breath hitched.
You ranted condescendingly, "I ignored your texts because I don't want to talk to you! I walked away from you because I don't want to talk to you! Common denominator, Vada, I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU!"
Vada picked at the hems of her coat. She shivered, closing her eyes to stop the forming tears. She sadly rushed out, "Y/N please I just want to fix this, okay? Please."
"Fix WHAT?"
"This, us, your birthday, everything!" Vada groaned loudly, trembling as her watered eyes darted over your face.
"Like you did last year??" You stuck out your neck. Vada's tears fell and she immediately covered her eyes. She sobbed, clawing her tears away before throwing her arms out, "Y/N I SAID I WAS SORRY!"
"I DON'T CARE." Your blood boiled to the point of tears. Your eyes were equally wet and red, eyebrows knitted together. "LEAVE ME ALONE." You turned away preparing to walk.
Vada shook as if she was dirty, stomping her foot, she whined, "CAN YOU PLEASE TAKE THE GIFT?! At least... please."
You turned around fast. Mentally deciding to listen to Quinn or yourself. You chose yourself. "I DON'T WANT IT!"
Vada's heart physically broke, and she brokenly scoffed. "Please — please let me give you something..."
You were physically shaking at the same words from a year ago. Triggered and in hot rage, you began spewing information, "NO! You can't stand me up AND cheat on me ON MY BIRTHDAY then beg for another chance JUST to go do it again. And a year later, when Mia's M-I-fucking-A; you text me, want to see me and buy me a gift expecting th-th —" your anger was misplaced as you remembered the situation. Everything hitting you. Your voice cracked, "— that to unbreak my h-heart?"
"¡Mi amor —"
"STOP CALLING ME THAT!" You screamed with excessive water streaming down your face. "I'M NOT YOUR LOVE! YOU DON'T LOVE ME! YOU NEVER DID!"
Vada shook her head disapprovingly. She hooked the gift bag's straps on her fingers.
You had a full on breakdown, "You got in a relationship looking so happy while I was fucking miserable! I couldn't fucking eat! —" Vada marched down the stairs. You continued, crying harder the closer she got, "I couldn't fucking sleep! I couldn't fucking breathe! I was so fucking so sad! So mad! —" Vada reached the third to last step, standing taller than you. You shoved Vada, her heels crashing into the riser of the previous step, "I was so fucking mad at you!"
Vada accepted your push, feeling like she deserved it. You opened your mouth to rant further but physically couldn't; your breath hitched and you turned away. The second you turned, she stepped forth, grabbing the hem of your shirt.
Vada spun you back and tugged you closer, the tip of your shoes crashing into the riser of the next stair. "I know that I left you to deal with my mistake without closure, without a real apology and without the peace you deserved, and that's why I want to fix it, okay?"
You sniffled and palmed the water from your cheeks. She stared directly into your soul, bargaining, "I just need you to listen. I don't want you to do anything right now except listen, okay?"
Vada spilled, "I'm sorry for everything I've done to you; every promise I never kept, every time I ignored you, every day I made you angry, and for attaching this breakup and everything it came with to your birthday. But mi amor —" you tried pulling your shirt from her hands but she only balled her fist tighter to secure you. "— I can't have you mad at me. I can't have you walking away from me. I can't have you ignoring me. I can't have you out of my life anymore. I can't, okay?"
You looked away from her. To earn your attention, Vada pulled you closer. You stumbled up the next step and she pressed her forehead to yours. She lowly recited over and over, "I can't."
Time stopped. "I can't."
Your heart slowed. "I can't."
The stairwell became unbearably silent.
You bore into her eyes. The dark brown gates to her soul unleashing an enormous wave of sorrow, restlessness, regret, sincerity and frighteningly, hope.
You shuddered realizing that you had to diminish that hope. There was no hope. Not a year later, on the same day she initiated your anger. The day she stole from the people who actually loved you. The day she killed your trust in her. The day she initiated the ripping of your heart. Not the first day of many that she chose someone else over you.
You gulped, "Vada... let me go."
"I can't."
"Va—" She stole a kiss from you. Immediately, closing her eyes and swapping your shirt for your nape.
These involuntary, one-sided kisses seemed to be her forte. Upon contact, you pushed her away, but Vada was unmoved. Instead, her grip tightened and your bodies collided. You gasped into her mouth, your hands raised in shock and refusal to touch her. It was important that you communicated that this was unwanted.
The corners of the gift bag were poking the back of your legs as her arm was wrapped snuggly around your waist; securing you to her. She moaned into your mouth. Your eyes fluttered shut as she transitioned from a impatient kiss to a patient one.
She released your neck, running her hand down your side to join the other around your waist. Her kissing became softer. Gentler. Less dominant. Less controlled. More inviting to the possibility of being rejected again. And that made you surrender, you melted, resting your hands on her arms for stability. Your tongue slipped as your head turned, allowing her to kiss you more deeply.
Because this was the last time she'd get to.
Vada knew this too, she could practically taste it as her tongue swirled your mouth. You engaged her when she stopped forcing it. A huge difference from last year, where her force made you stay. She clawed at your back, yearning to not let go, even though she had to at some point. To breathe and to accept the reality that there wasn't a kiss so tender, an apology so sincere, and a gift so grand that could change that she lost you.
Vada pulled from you abruptly. Your eyes sprung on with a hanging mouth to breathe. You and Vada's hearts were both beating erratically.
Breathlessly and shaken with tears, she said. "H-happy birthday. You're w-welcome. I love you..."
She forced the gift bag into your hands and walked around you, wiping her tears. You remained still, blinking off without a thought in your brain.
Vada ran back up the stairs, taking a final look at you, "Until we meet again."
* * *
You were at a bowling alley with Quinn and two girls, opening the many gifts they got you. The four of you were sitting on the round couches. You and Quinn were on opposing sides of the two girls. You were down to the last gifts, Vada's bag and a smedium-sized box. It wasn't heavy but it wasn't light.
You read who the box was from, smirking at them, "Why didn't you give me this in the hallway, Bre?"
Bre smiled at you, "So you can tire your arms out from carrying it all day? I'm considerate."
You playfully rolled your eyes and she went on, "Plus, I think it was worth the wait."
"We're about to see." You unwrapped the box, staring at her. You glanced at Quinn who was visibly approving of Bre's energy. When you finished tearing off the paper, you gasped, "You got me a Polaroid camera?! Thank you!"
You stood up, leaning forward to hug her. She pulled you into her lap. You grinned,"I hope you know, I'm going to take a lot of pictures of us with this."
Bre flirted, "That's cool, I just hope I'll be your girlfriend in all of them."
You blushed and returned to your seat. You set the box on the table, getting up the wrapping paper. The other girl asked, "Wait — what about the bag, are you going to open Vada's?"
You halted your movements, staring at the bag. You looked at Quinn, he shrugged, "Might as well."
You looked at Bre, she nodded approvingly for you to open it. "It's just a gift."
"And free." Quinn added which Bre agreed with. You sighed and reached for Vada's bag. This wasn't free, you paid in tears for it and it wasn't just a gift, it was the last memory of Vada. You slid it between your legs, staring at it briefly.
You untied the balloon string. The balloon floated to the ceiling as you didn't try to save it. You peeled the straps apart and moved the gift paper around while reaching inside. A thick coat of fur rested in your palm. You squeezed and your brows furrowed; it was plush. You froze, immediately retracting your hand. Your breath hitched as your eyes roamed.
There's no way this would be your last memory.
"Is it a bomb? What's up?" Quinn leaned forward and nudged you.
You swallowed, and chose to face it. You quickly pulled it out, and you held it up for him and the others to see.
Quinn's date's eyes widened, "A Build-A-Bear!?!"
You closed your eyes, instantly recalling the day Vada promised to take you for your birthday, a year ago. Quinn clucked his tongue, and said, "Not gone lie, I kinda want you to give it back."
"Why's it dressed like a knight though?" Bre asked. He was cream colored and dressed in silver armor. He held roses and a small sword in his respective hands.
"She probably grabbed the first thing she could find." Quinn shook his head.
You drowned out the world as a conversation ensued among your peers about the bear. You opened your eyes and searched the bag to see if he had a birth certificate. He did, and there was a birthday card.
BUILD A BEAR WORKSHOP
BIRTH CERTIFICATE
DOB: *your birthday*
FULL NAME: Sir Love-You-Alot
HEIGHT: 15 in
WEIGHT: 8 oz
EYE COLOR: brown
FUR COLOR: cream
BELONGS TO: y/n
You chewed your cheek at the name of the bear. You gazed at the furry guy and the certificate, putting them back in the bag. You opened the birthday card and read the generic message on the side and then found Vada's messy scripture. It was mostly an apology until you read the end:
Sir Love-You-Alot is the finest knight in all of California. He's on guard duty until i return from my quest to be a better person.
so i don't lose you again.
* * *
WC: 4830
A/N: #JusticeforVada. Please drop donations if you stand in solidarity with our cause. Thank you.
LMFAOAOAOAOAO