Nessa Black
I was too anxious about the upcoming detention, so I skipped dinner and waited in the Slytherin common room for the time to come.
My steps echo in the empty hallway as I walk towards Snape's office. It feels darker and colder than ever. And it's always dark and cold in the dungeons. As I am already in front of Snape's office I stand there for a while as if something bad would happen if I open the door.
'Just do it, you, coward', I whisper to myself.
My hand grabs the doorknob and twists it.
The room is dark and many scents are bombarding my senses as soon as I step into it. There are shelves all over the walls, stuffed with vials, jars, and other containers with all sorts of potion ingredients.
In the middle of the chamber, there's a huge circular table. All the books, parchments, and cauldrons are neatly arranged in its center.
I spot Draco already sitting on a chair at the opposite side of the table, while Snape is leaning his back over the nearest part of it.
'Ms. Black, you've finally decided to come', he says with the most terrifying tone.
'I'm sorry, professor', I say lowering my head. 'I didn't mean to make you wait for me.'
He nods faintly and throws a glance at Draco behind his back.
'I already told Mr. Malfoy about your task. I would be glad to repeat it, but unfortunately, I have other things to take care of.'
Snape is already at the cabinet's door when he speaks again.
'I'll be back in an hour or two. Don't leave before I've returned.'
The door shuts behind Snape's back and leaves a deafening silence in the cabinet. I gulp and pluck up the courage to look in Draco's direction. He has his head resting on his hand. His face is slightly tense, two wrinkles appearing on his forehead. His expression seems tired and sleepy.
'So', I begin, trying to attract his attention. He slowly raises his head and looks at me.
'What are we supposed to do?', I ask.
Draco stands up and approaches me calmly. As he already stands close to me, he points to my left.
'We have to wash and polish all those vials.'
I look at the marble sink, hidden in the cavity between two cabinets. A whole mountain of vials is pouring out of it.
'We can take turns', I suggest, still looking at the overflowing sink.
'I'll go first', I say, glancing over at him.
A wave of relief illuminates his face.
'Thank you', he gulps and rubs the back of his head. 'I'm a little tired.'
I nod and give him a warm smile. I wish I could hug him right now, I almost forgot how mad I was at him for getting us that detention. Hopefully, I came to my senses faster than expected.
We part ways as he returns to his seat across the table and I come closer to the marble sink, rolling up the sleeves of my white shirt.
'Do you know what I care about?'
'You.'
I can't help but repeat the situation we had before Snape's class as I am slowly advancing with the cleaning of the vials. Things are going out of control lately. With Draco, I mean. I don't even have enough time to process everything. I am too busy with classes and homework and whenever I have time left I either sleep or I am too exhausted to reflect on my emotions. It would be way easier if I had a clear idea, or at least a clearer idea, about what was happening in my head and heart during the last month or so.
At least Pansy is not messing with me. I can see her throwing nasty glances at me every now and then, but I am fine until she doesn't open her mouth. Then I won't be able to stop myself either. It will be an ugly scene.
'I wanted to ask you what did your Amortentia smell like...'
'I didn't lie about it in Potions class. Does this answer your question?'
All of a sudden memories from the Halloween party start invading my mind and I can feel my heart racing in my chest.
I look over my shoulder towards the table only to see Draco's head laying on it. He is sleeping peacefully, I don't remember seeing his face so relaxed, like ever.
With a joyous smile, I get back to the vials in the sink, expecting me and no one else to be cleaning and polishing them. I don't even think about cheating with magic. I am well aware of the fact that Snape would penetrate my mind without any difficulty, and possibly give me another detention. No, thanks.
The forehead kiss he gave me felt like thunder striking through my body, but it was not unpleasant. It was tickling and warm. I was kissed before. During the fifth year, we were playing spin the bottle in the boys' dorm and I got to kiss Theo two times. It was nothing compared to this. And it was just a forehead kiss. I was confused and surprised. It was an unfamiliar feeling, but it felt like something I would wish to try again and again.
But it's inappropriate, right? We're cousins but our love potions smell of each other. It's so odd to even think about it, but it's way more powerful than my ability and desire to stop it. The thoughts about Draco keep getting more intense and more frequent every single day.
I am in desperate need to share my thoughts with someone, but I am too scared and embarrassed to do so. I would kill to have a conversation with my mom right now, but at the same time, I am afraid of what she would say. I am afraid of having to give up the secret desires and hopes, lingering through the deepest parts of my soul. I am afraid of someone breaking this little delusional paradise I have unintentionally created inside of my heart and mind.
As my overthinking gets more intense my concentration in the real world fades away. Without realizing I squeeze the vial in my hand so hard that it breaks into hundreds of pieces and cuts the skin of my palm.
Trickles of blood begin flowing down my hand. My palm feels so warm. It's the first stage after getting cut when you still don't feel a thing.
I put my hand under the running water and then it hits me. A piercing pain.
A muffled scream escapes my mouth and I move my hand away from the water. My vision suddenly gets blurrier and I try my best to stay conscious. Ugh, low blood pressure issues.
I am so confused and dissociated when his voice suddenly brings me back to reality.
'Nessa!'
His strong arms wrap around my waist. My back leans on his chest, searching for some support. My legs feel like melting at any moment now.
Draco's left hand gently holds mine over the sink, monitoring the injury.
I can't exactly explain why, but I start laughing, my back still leaning on his chest.
'Merlin's beard, why are you laughing? What did you do to yourself?', he sounds more concerned than I've ever heard him. Or my blurry mind may be playing tricks on me?
I don't answer. At this point, I don't think that I can structure a full sentence. Next time I am surely not skipping dinner.
Draco's right hand has also left my waist. It's appearing from behind, holding his wand. He points it out to my injured palm and starts whispering some spell under his breath. I don't catch a single word as I am too concentrated on enjoying the moment. The way our bodies are so close to each other. The way that his hand holds mine. The way that I am leaning on him without having to explain myself or have to move away. It's an opportunity to let all these emotions invade my body, no acting, no pretending. Just feeling and existing at the moment, even if it is so short. Or at least it seems short to me.
Draco lets a relieved sigh behind me.
Only then do I come to my senses and realize that my vision is not blurry anymore. My mind is clear and my breathing is fairly normal. I look to my left palm but there's no sign of the injury anymore.
Move away, you, fool. There's no excuse for you to lean on his body anymore.
'How did you...?', I begin asking as I try to move away from him, but his hands on both sides of my hips stop me.
I look over my shoulder with a startled expression only to see Draco's face inches away from mine. My heartbeat starts accelerating again. I instantly look away. It feels too dangerous to stay like this, with him behind me, unable to analyze his facial expressions.
'You can just say thank you', he finally says.
'Yea', I gulp. 'Thank you.'
'Draco', I add.
I can hear him chuckling behind me. His hands are still on my hips.
'Anytime', he utters. 'For you.'
I don't know if at this time my heart can beat faster. A burning sensation settles in my lower stomach.
I don't know how much time has passed since Snape left us here. He can enter the room at any given moment, but even if I am aware of that I don't make any attempts to move and end whatever's going on right now.
'Are you okay?', Draco asks.
'You're panting', he explains as if I already didn't know that.
'I'm fine', I mumble.
As I say this his grip on my hips gets slightly tighter.
'I don't know what to do with you anymore', he says leaning closer to my ear. 'You keep trying, but I already told you. You can't lie to me, Nessa.'
Somehow I manage to pull away from his grip or he just lets me, I'm not sure. I turn around and finally face him. The tension in my body multiplies even more now. His blonde hair is not neatly styled as usual. Several strands of hair are falling over his face.
'You're too confident in yourself', I note staring into his eyes. It's addicting, I am already experiencing it firsthand.
'You're in denial', he says, ignoring my words. It's his habit, I suppose.
'Don't act as if you know everything about me', I pout, clenching my fists.
I am always on the edge around him.
'What if I do?', he smirks.
He is doing it on purpose. I am almost 100% sure. He must love seeing me infuriated.
'And what if I do too? Know everything about you?'
Draco laughs at my attempt to clap back.
'You're bluffing', he states.
I bite my lip out of rage.
'Don't do this', he commands.
'What?', I raise my brows in confusion.
'Don't bite your lip', Draco suddenly grabs my chin.
'Why?', I ask.
He chuckles and lets go of my chin, putting both his hands in the pockets of the emerald pants he's wearing today.
'I may show you someday', he teases.
You're going too far, Nessa, too far. Stop it before it's too late.
'Ahem', I cough. 'You may finish the rest of the vials. There are not many left. Besides, you seem well-rested now.'
Draco lets out a deep sigh and slightly bows in front of me.
'Sure, ma'am.'
Well, Nessa and Draco seem to get closer. How do you feel about it?
Songs on my playlist today:
Eminem, Juice WRLD - Godzilla; Rihanna - Love on the brain; WayV - Love Talk; Duncan Laurance - Arcade; ZAYN - Pillowtalk; SEVENTEEN - I Don't Understand But I Luv U