the bus left around 10:30 that morning. vanessa and cody went together, and vanessa did her very best to avoid trea at all cost. any time she would go anywhere, she would look around and make sure he wasn't in the room.
"do you have all your stuff?" cody asked the blonde. she nodded and headed out of the stadium to the big travel bus that they were taking. it was a fairly long bus ride considering traffic, and one of the vanessa's least favorite's.
vanessa sat down in the window seat and slid down in her seat, hoping to hide from the others who are walking by. she sat in silence as trea followed gavin past their seats, neither bothering to look down.
"are you gonna talk to him?" cody asked.
"i really don't want to." vanessa mumbled
"i think you need to." cody said.
she ignored him entirely and scrolled on her phone. cody popped his head over the end of the seat to look for a trea. he tried to mouth something to cody, but cody couldn't make out what he was saying. he just shrugged and face forward again.
"do we have everyone?" dave asked as he climbed onto the front of the bus. he looked through the crowd of players to made sure he had his most important people if anyone. "trea where's carr?" he couldn't see that she was still sunken in her seat.
"she's right here." cody replied before trea could say anything.
"alright, we're good." roberts said to the man who was driving the bus.
they headed off to san diego for a series against the padres. as the guys in the bus chatted, mookie and freddie, who were sitting across from cody and vanessa, turned and gave them a confused look.
"are you and trea good? you two weren't together at all today. i was with him earlier and he didn't mention you at all ." freddie told her.
"am i not allowed to hang out with other people?" she snapped.
cody widened his eyes and raised his eyebrows towards the girl, implying to not talk about it.
"sorry i asked." freddie trailed off and leaned back in his seat.
vanessa received a text from dave letting her know that she'd have to share a room in san diego.
wonderful.
her eyes glared at cody quickly. "cody?"
"yeah?"
"would you share a room with me this weekend?" she asked.
he cleared his throat for a moment, "sure."
"thank you." she gave him a smile and continued back on her phone.
it was weird, they were weird. vanessa didn't mean to kiss cody last night, but she couldn't do anything about it now. and it wasn't like she hadn't thought about it before.
she loves cody, not in the way she loves trea, but she truly loves him. and he loves her just the same.
what trea didn't know couldn't hurt him, right? as long as the two kept it under ropes then what was the worst that could happen?
⋆.ೃ࿔*:･
"fuck traffic." vanessa flung her suitcase onto her bed.
"you can say that again." cody said, collapsing onto his bed.
"fuck traffic." she repeated.
"okay i didn't not mean literally."
she laughed at her own joke and collapsed on her bed next to her suitcase. they had just gotten back from their game that they won in extra innings. everyone was beyond tired from the travel to staying late at the stadium.
"got anything to drink?" cody asked, sitting up.
"what kind of question is that?" vanessa stood up and pulled a bottle of rosé out of her suitcase. "i like not having to go through airport security."
she poured them each a cup, which were plastic cups because that was all they had in the hotel room. they sat together at the end of vanessa's bed and slowly sipped their wine. she kept checking her phone, but cody didn't bother asking about it.
"this is amazing." cody finished it within moments.
"camila got it for me." vanessa smiled.
"tell her to get me some."
"speaking of, how's grace?" vanessa turned and put her head in her hand.
"enh, niether of us really wanna do long distance." he shrugged.
"oh, well, at least you guys are on the same page."
"yeah, i'd rather just chill and do whatever around here. she was really nice though."
"understandable." vanessa said.
"have you tried talking to trea during the game?" cody asked.
"nope." she answered immediately, then checked her phone again quickly.
"are you going to?"
"are you going to keep bringing it up?"
"if he didn't care about you so much than maybe i wouldn't." cody snapped at her. "you seem to think that this whole thing doesn't matter."
"i'm not apologizing for anything."
"no one is asking you to, ness. i'm telling you that your boyfriend, who cares so much about you, needs to know that you're okay."
"and what if i'm not okay? what if there's a reason that i never told him i was burning? what if i couldn't keep up with everything going on in my life? what if my priorities lie in contrasting places? then what are you going to say cody? why don't you just go and fix everything for me. then maybe i'll start worrying about my relationship. maybe i can actually put my energy into having a healthy relationship. but i'm not there right now. i cant do everything."
vanessa's eyes filled with tears.
cody said nothing and put his arm around her. he pulled her in and rocked her side to side, rubbing her shoulder.
"i'm sorry ness, i really am." he spoke softly. "and i wish there was something i could do to help you."
she didn't say anything, there was nothing for her to say. she felt trapped.
vanessa shot back the rest of her drink and threw the empty cup on the ground. she flung her leg over cody's lap. her legs strattled the boy as she immediately pressed her lips against his. all she could taste was the rosé that coated his lips.
'what on earth am i doing?'
"vanessa what on earth are you do-" she cut him off again. her arms hung over his shoulders as her body only moved closer to his.
she wouldn't give him a second to breathe. she knew if she let go, he'd say something that she didn't wanna hear. suddenly they were entirely on the bed, with vanessa on top of cody.
vanessa carr on top of cody bellinger.
cody didn't wanna be there. i mean, not like he wasn't enjoying it, but he knew it was wrong in every way possible. he knew it didn't mean anything. but what was he gonna do?
his hands slowly traced her figure until they sat up together, without letting go of the other. vanessa's back pushed against the headboard of the bed. she began to unbutton her jersey that she hadn't even gotten to take off yet.
cody couldn't bring himself to undress the girl. that was his best friends girlfriend. as if he was being intrusive enough. he was absolutely not supposed to be doing this.
he lined her neck with kisses until her top was completely off.
"oh my god cody." her voice trailed off as her head shot back. his hands glazed her lower back as it arched back.
her hands found the bottom of his t shirt and pulled it over his head.
'god damn it vanessa.'
he was really starting to understand why trea was so obsessed with her.
before cody could even say anything, her leggings were completely off. for the first time, cody could actually see her burns. the entire reason they were in the situation.
he stopped and sat back, then ran his hand over her the marks. her eyes followed his hand as it gently glided across her inner thigh.
"oh my god." is all he could say.
"cody it's fine."
"no ness, these are bad. and some of these are recent." his voice grew fragile. "there's so many."
"cody it's fine." she repeated herself, more firmly this time. her hands slipped underneath the sides of her underwear trying to pull them off.
"ness no."
"please cody. i need this."
"this is not healthy."
"what do we have to lose?" her breaths became faster and shorter.
"we have everything to lose vanessa." he sat back and stared at her burns again.
in what seemed like a panic, she sat up and crashed into cody. her lips meeting his yet again.
he managed to pull her off of him, as he did, it revealed the layers of mascara and tears running down her face. her face was puffy, she was absolutely sobbing.
"vanessa i cannot fuck you." he said abruptly. "you have a boyfriend. your boyfriend is my best friend. this is beyond fucked up."
"i know." her shaking breaths made cody nervous, as if she could just stop breathing at any point.
"this cannot be how you cope."
"i know." she grabbed her phone off the table and checked it again.
"are you serious right now? you just tried to fuck your boyfriends best friend and you're checking your phone? what could possibly be more important than this?"
"he always texts me. he always texts me goodnight."
"you should know that if he ever finds out about this, you'll never be getting a goodnight text again." cody said. he tossed vanessa a pair of pajama pants from her suitcase.
"can i have, um, a pair of shorts please?" she hesitatingly asked him. he'd already seen the burns, she might as well be comfortable.
"oh, yeah." he looked through her bag. he stumbled upon a framed photo of her and trea. it might have just been the cutest picture he'd ever seen. his faced saddened as his actions lingered in his head. next to it, a lighter. "you don't have any." he couldn't look any longer.
"i thought i brought a pair."
"there's some boxers." he found them on top. "are these trea's?"
she nodded, "gimme." he tossed them over and finally got his shirt back on. he layed down on the bed next to vanessa. the two sat in silence, niether knowing what to say to the other.
"i love you ness."
"i love you too cody." she leaned her head on his shoulder. "you're my best friend. i'm sorry for putting you in this position."
"i'm worried about you."
"please don't be."
"how on earth can i not be?"
"i'm gonna figure things out codes. i promise." she lightly lifted her pinky in the air. he locked his with hers, holding it in the air.
"talk to him."
"promise."