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THE LAST THING PERENELLE expected when she stepped into her dormitory at half past twelve was for her sister to be awake. Let alone waiting for her. Though Vaudeline sat on her bed— knees tucked beneath her chin, face red and splotchy.
Marcie was on her own bed, eyeing Vaudeline nervously, and neither said a word in the first moment Pera had entered the room.
She swallowed nervously, crossing the room to her own bed and removing her cloak, hanging it on the hook next to her nightstand.
"Where'd you go?"
It was Marceline who had asked, though Vaud eyed Pera as she went to answer,
"For a walk— I didn't realize how late it had gotten"
"Why didn't you tell me you felt that way?" Vaudeline asked, and Perenelle felt frozen to the ground. She didn't turn around, still sorting out her pyjamas on her bed. She could feel her sisters steely eyes burning holes into her back.
"I don't know Vaud" She replied softly. She did know. Vaudeline might have known too. Perenelle didn't want to say it out loud. How was she supposed to look her sister in the eye and tell her that she was constantly unsure if she could trust her?
"..I'm gonna leave you two alone" Marcie said, and neither twin stopped her. She climbed out of her bed and left the dormitory.
"Could you really not trust me Per?" Vaudeline sniffled, and Perenelle was incredibly unsure of what to do. It was strange seeing Vaud emotional— she never was. Perenelle hadn't seen her sister cry since the summer after their first year.
"It's not like we ever talk about her" Perenelle said. She was sitting on her bed now, arms crossed as she faced her sister.
Perenelle regretted saying it the second it left her mouth— as it made no sense. Sure, they didn't talk about her. Perenelle still missed her— so who was to say that Vaudeline didn't as well? Though to be fair Vaudeline had always demonstrated the prim and proper expectations of their upbringing.
It made her feel incredibly foolish— though that quickly morphed to guilt. She didn't know how to feel at the moment, maybe it had to do with the fire whiskey soda's.
"Are you drunk?" Vaudeline asked, an edge to her voice that frightened Perenelle, "you reek Per.. did you seriously go an—"
"—what's it matter if I did?" She cut Vaudeline off, rubbing at her temples, "I am so tired of all the judgemental bullshit from everyone Vaud, it's bloody exhausting!"
"Yeah you're exhausted" Vaudeline snapped, pulling her covers over herself, and Perenelle let out a huff! "Well what's that supposed to mean?"
Perenelle was breathing heavily, her eyes in slits as she stared at her sister, awaiting whatever snippy response she knew was coming.
Though it didn't come— and Perenelle couldn't help but let out a dry laugh.
"Yeah— okay Vaud, say whatever you want" She shook her head, "This is exactly what Sirius was talking about"
"I beg your pardon?" Vaudeline emerged from her covers— both sisters sporting matching angry expressions.
"All I'm saying is that we can't even have one emotionally intelligent conversation without you turning into a robotic version of maman and father!" Perenelle admitted, "And you wonder why I never tell you anything!"
Vaudeline looked as though she was going to cry— though Perenelle hadn't noticed, perhaps if she did she wouldn't have said what she said next. Though the firewhiskey and years worth of unsaid feelings were clouding her senses,
"I mean— everything Sirius said basically described you Vaud— do you know how much that bloody worries me sometimes? Proper this, Proper that— I watch my words around you constantly because of how judgemental you are! And every belief is one that our parents put in your head!"
Perenelle's chest was heaving as she finished, and Vaudeline sat as still as a statue— her only movement being the tensing of her mouth as she breathed heavily through her nose.
But Perenelle had opened the floodgates.
"Did you ever stop to think that maybe I do what I do so that I get somewhat of a choice in my life? Open your bloody eyes Perenelle— everything is planned for us and every decision I have made is so that one day maybe, just maybe I can feel as though I had a fucking choice in the matter!"
Vaudeline turned over so that she was facing the wall, pulling her covers up and over her blonde head. Though it failed to mask the sound of soft sobs emanating from the emerald green duvet.
Perenelle felt sick to her stomach— her sisters words slowly registering in her impaired brain. Vaudeline's insinuations cut like knives, and Perenelle couldn't help but second guess everything she thought she knew about her sister. Did that mean?... Vaudeline had been with Damien for years, surely it wasn't purely for a sense of normalcy. It couldn't be— that would be insane.
As for everything else— Vaudeline's proper and formal approach to, well, everything. Perenelle had never once stopped and wondered her sisters motives. Not once. It made her want to crawl underneath her covers and never come out— it seemed that despite being twins they were more similar than they thought in that regard. Clearly, they were masters at keeping secrets. Even from each other.
She changed into her pyjamas, and Vaudeline's sniffling still echoed through the small room.
"Vaudeline?" Perenelle called out, wringing her hands,
"What?" Vaudeline's reply was muffled, and Perenelle took a deep breath,
"I'm sorry"
She sniffled, wiping at her eyes as the words left her mouth— and there was a pause before Vaudeline flung her duvet off of her and sat up,
"Can you sleep with me tonight?"
Perenelle nodded, crossing the room and climbing into her sisters bed.
"I'm sorry too" Vaudeline sniffled, and both sisters fiddled with the duvet until they were comfortable.
Perenelle couldn't remember the last time the two had slept in the same bed— maybe third year, when their grandmere Selene had passed away. It was strange— though comforting. The events of that day left Perenelle feeling closer to Vaud than she had ever been before. Which was almost depressing— the two were twins for Merlin's sake.
Twins are meant to be tethered— they technically were, literally, entering the world together after many months of shared growth into what would then become real, birthed existence. Though the two sisters had never been that close.
Certainly not like the Prewett's— oh no. The older boys functioned as though they were one mind carefully split into two bodies. Perenelle and Vaudeline's fate was sealed the day they were born, one with hair dark as night and the other pale as daffodils.
Though the events of the evening had startled Perenelle into grappling with the depressing realization that perhaps her and Vaudeline were far more alike than she had previously believed.
She barely knew how to deal with her own feelings— the thought of the same sadness and frustration torturing her sister made her throat burn.
"Vaud, can I tell you something?"
"What is it?"
"I don't... think that I'm a blood purist"
There was a pause.
"I don't know if I am either"
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The rest of the last week of October went by almost alarmingly fast. Perhaps it was the metaphorical heavy iron chains that had been wretched from their natural state around Perenelle's neck, but somehow she felt lighter than she had ever felt before.
Her mood had improved— so had Vaudeline's. It was strange that a catastrophic detention had resulted in it, as if anything, shouldn't they be devastated? But she wasn't. They both weren't. Somehow Sirius' words had forced both of them to confront the uncomfortable truths to his many insults. Few truths. As Sirius was still a mean tosser. Though even tossers can occasionally be right.
That wasn't to say that her sister had suddenly transformed over night— shedding a cocoon of proper pureblood identity and morphing into a butterfly that lived to fly freely, absolutely not. That would be absolutely preposterous. Even Perenelle hadn't thrown caution to the wind in that regard. Though it was clear to Perenelle that Vaud's eyes had ridden themselves of their previous hardened apprehension.
"So you'll come then?" Alice beamed, giddily squeezing Perenelle's arm as they strolled arm in arm through the corridors.
Pera's mouth opened slightly as she pondered Alice's question— as the insistent girl was referring to her joining Alice in the library with the older Gryffindor boys, "Sure.. why not"
Truly, she had nothing better to do, and there was no reason for her to deny the invitation. Perenelle's pause was instead due to her not having seen Gideon since the night of the detention, when the auburn haired boy had quite literally swept her off her feet and turned her night in a more positive direction.
She hadn't purposely been avoiding him— she had spoken to Fabian just the day before, but the pair had yet to cross paths and the longer they didn't the longer Perenelle was left to stew over the feelings that had risen since their night in the secret room.
He was handsome— so bloody handsome. She had never thought otherwise, even when she did finally get over her silly years-long crush on the older boy. But speaking to him again, and becoming mates after so many years of shoving down feelings and watching from afar made her stomach dance and head very very hot.
Gideon just made her so bloody uncomfortable— it wasn't even his fault! It's not like Gideon Prewett intentionally made Perenelle want to crawl out of her skin to escape the nervous itch that erupted every time she pictured his cocky grin. She just couldn't help it. Though, the pair had decided they were mates— and mates they would be.
The only truly devastating consequence of the fateful detention in Perenelle's mind was that it had caused her to miss her astronomy class— oh Merlin when she had awoken on Thursday morning and realized she had forgotten she was mortified.
Though thankfully, after anxiously running across the castle, mind you— to Professor Slink's office Pera was relieved to be informed that Professor Mcgonagall had written ahead to inform the elderly astronomy professor that she would not be attending. Strange— Mcgonagall really must have known the evening would go to pure shite.
Perenelle wasn't sure how she felt about the formidable head of Gryffindor house. Technically, McGonagall's plan had worked, though at what cost? Her methods that evening seemed borderline barbaric, and Pera couldn't help but suspect the middle-aged woman harboured a secret motive to which none of them were aware.
Mcgonagall wasn't even a pureblood for Merlin's sake— why in Salazar's name did the woman concern herself so heavily in her family's affairs?
Wondering was pointless— it was highly unlikely Perenelle would ever find out unless it came from McGonagall's lips themselves.
"Hey Pete, Remus!" Alice sang, using her freehand to wave towards the two boys walking opposite them— likely headed towards the kitchens if Perenelle had to guess, and their appearance successfully snapped Perenelle out of her Mcgonagall related stupor.
They shot back similar words of greeting though didn't stop to chat— and certainly did not greet her, though Perenelle would have to be daft to not notice the way her cousin's mates eyed her.
Alice had been outright furious when Perenelle had caught her up to speed on Thursday afternoon— and after some sly questioning of Lupin had reported back to Pera with the general opinions of her cousin's closest mates.
She knew that they pitied her— even if Alice hadn't told her so she would have guessed it from the way they looked at her. They loved Sirius, absolutely adored him— so did Alice really, though it seemed all the boys, even Potter, felt as though the shaggy-haired Gryffindor had behaved a tad out of line when it came to his words during the detention.
Though, to be fair, as hurt as Perenelle was she knew that Sirius was hurt just as equally by the events of the last several years. It was a difficult situation, one that no one would ever truly understand unless they too bore the surname Black.
They had reached the library far quicker than Perenelle would have hoped— and they found the boys nestled into a table in a corner of the large library.
"You ready for the first Gryffindor Slytherin game Black?" Frank asked her in greeting, slapping a hand against both twins' shoulders, "My boys here are going to crush your snakes!"
"Yeah yeah Frank" Fabian tisked, "Cmon now, let's keep it friendl—"
"—Cause we all know it won't be on the field!" Gideon interrupted, and both girls shook their heads.
"I don't really give a rats arse about quidditch if I'm being honest" Perenelle shrugged, and all three boys mock-gasped in offence, even Alice turned to look at her strangely as they took their seats at the round table.
It was true, sure she went to the occasional game to support Regulus, or Damien and Toni— but in all honesty she had never found much amusement from the almost barbaric sport.
Perhaps that had something to do with her never being allowed to play, or really ride a broom past their first year mandatory lessons. Her parents thought it was unbecoming and incredibly unladylike. Though she certainly did not share that with the group.
"Either way— your lot stands no chance Nell" Gideon grinned, and Perenelle's cheeks instantly felt warm at his use of that blasted nickname, Nell, honestly— she couldn't stand it. Though it didn't sound that bad leaving his lips.
"Yeah yeah alright, enough of the quidditch talk please" Alice moaned, waving her hands in annoyance, before retrieving a pack of cards from her robe pocket.
"Anyone up for a game of exploding snap?"
"In here? You're crazy Fortescue, I'm in"
And so the small group tried their hardest not to set off a chain of explosions that would leave Madam Pince banning them and their future descendants from her precious library.
"Oh sod off Fabian I saw the bowtruckle first!" Alice moaned, and Perenelle stifled a giggle as Frank shushed his girlfriend— they were now two rounds deep and Alice's frustration (and lack of winning) had caused her to lose control of the volume of her voice.
"Cmon Alice, I'm sure you'll get the next one" Pera said— half teasing, and though Alice shot her a dirty look Perenelle couldn't help but beam as Gideon snickered at the way she almost instantly spotted (and tapped) two hyppogriff cards as she said it— proving that Alice in fact did not get the next one.
"Oi Black— is that your sister?" Frank asked from across the table, and the game instantly paused as the others turned to where Frank had motioned towards, and Perenelle's entire body froze.
She was supposed to meet Vaudeline in the library.
Perenelle also failed to mention her befriending of the three boys to her sister during their heart to heart a few days previous— as though she learned that perhaps Vaudeline was not as judgemental as she had thought, Pera was still somewhat bloody terrified of her twin and what she might think— and the fact that technically, Pera had lied when she told Vaudeline that she wasn't consorting with Gideon Prewett. Whatever she meant by that.
"Oh this will be good" She mumbled, and Gideon shot her a disapproving look, "Come on— invite Vaud to join us"
Perenelle did not have the chance to shoot down Gideon's suggestion as she felt a hand tap her shoulder, and Gideon's smile turned mischievous.
"Wotcher Black— how've you been?" He said in a drawl, leaning back in his chair as he said it. Perenelle couldn't see her sister's face but she could only imagine the twisted up frown Vaudeline was most likely throwing in the boy's direction.
"I need to borrow my sister" She forced out, sounding incredibly uncomfortable— and Perenelle fought a wince as the words left Vaudeline's mouth.
"I'll be back" She mumbled, gathering her things in case that was a lie and quickly following after her sister around the corner of several tall bookshelves.
"What do you think you're doing?" Vaudeline asked, an almost panic-stricken look in her grey eyes, and Perenelle tucked her hair behind her ears nervously,
"Okay so I might have not given you the full truth before... but honestly Vaud they're all pure! It's not like I'm skipping around with muggleborns or somethi—"
"—But father said tha—"
"—I thought we decided we were gonna do some thinking for ourselves?" She cut Vaudeline off, and the blonde's face quickly turned scarlett, "Besides it's not like I'm doing anything bad... we just... I don't know— hang out sometimes"
"They're all pure" Vaudeline said softly, almost as though she was saying it to herself rather than her sister, and Pera nodded,
"They're all pure"
"Alright then.. I suppose"
"Why don't you join us?" Perenelle spit out, and the panic-stricken look returned to Vaudeline's eyes. Perenelle grabbed hold of her sisters hands.
"Please Vaud... they're my new mates, and your my sister— besides, you already know the twins, please just give them a chance, just once?"
Vaudeline didn't say anything for a moment, though finally she let out an almost pained breath,
"Fine, okay— just this once, and we have to be secretive about it"
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"Oh you are going down Prewett!" Vaudeline cheered, collecting the matching pixie cards as Gideon shook his head, covering his face with his hands.
"This is no bloody fair— why'd I tell Nell to invite you?" And Vaudeline laughed— sort of maniacally actually, Perenelle stared at her sister as though she was a stranger. Because honestly, who was this and what had she done with Vaudeline Black?
"Oh shut up Gid— I love you" Alice gushed, turning to Vaudeline, "You are hanging out with us all the bloody time if it means this tosser gets humiliated"
"Oi!"
Perenelle could feel Vaudeline smile from her seat beside her, and she nudged her sister, sending her an encouraging smile. Vaudeline smiled back softly in return.
"As fun as this was— we gotta run, quidditch practice in twenty" Fabian interrupted, clapping a dejected Gideon on the shoulder, "it was really good to see you Vaud.. I hope you come around again"
"What he said I guess" Gideon moaned— though jokingly, and Vaudeline grinned,
"Yeah.. maybe"
After the twins left it was the girls' turn to bid Frank and Alice their goodbyes to leave the couple to study, and they left the library arm in arm.
"See, that wasn't so bad" Pera said, squeezing her sisters' arm— Vaud pulling her arm back in annoyance, "You didn't burst into flames— and father didn't burst around the corner scolding you either"
"Yeah I guess" Vaudeline shrugged, and Perenelle couldn't help but giggle at the fake uninterested tone of her sisters voice, "Don't even try to lie to me Vaud— you had fun, I saw it"
"It was fun seeing Prewett look so defeated" She quipped, and Pera let out a full belly laugh as she remembered Gideon's look of disbelief as Vaudeline absolutely swept them all.
"So Nell— huh?"
"Oh hush up—it's ghastly"
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ahhh I love love love this chapter!
it has pained me writing vaudeline so bitchy all these chapters & I'm so happy we've reached a point where she's being pushed out of her comfort zone <3
I'm also so happy that now pera and vaud can grow closer and not keep so many secrets— though trust me, there will still be secrets.
to anyone that might be worried vaud's character growth might seem out of nowhere... remember back to the early chapters when vaud was punished for befriending a muggleborn (identity unknown! wink) if anything, vaud had a rebellious streak before pera did! I also hope I somewhat successfully explained a little bit of why vaud is the way she is, oh poor little tortured vaud </3 there's so much more to come for her & I'm excited to finally begin her own independent journey. it's a good start for her— but she's certainly not ready to have anyone know she's willingly played a game of exploding snap with a bunch of blood traitors (even though they are pure...)
until next time, jess <3