Lou read the last card and put it back in the envelope. Her hospital room was full of bouquets and balloons from the cast and crew, friends and acquaintances, and even a few fans. Her assistant, Amita, had stopped by several times, relaying everyone's messages of love and concern. She appreciated all of it, but she didn't want visitors and she'd told Amita so. Just keep everyone away, she'd told her. Maybe it was rude, but she just wanted to go home and regain some of her privacy. She felt vulnerable in this hospital room. Even though it was a private floor, anyone could get in if they really wanted to.
"Wow," Debbie exclaimed as she walked into the room. "It looks like someone bought out the florist downstairs."
Lou grinned from ear to ear. "You're certainly a sight for sore eyes." She motioned with her hand up and down Debbie's body. "Is all that for me?" It was obvious Debbie had taken some time in the mirror. Her hair was blown straight, she had soft "daytime" makeup on, and her white skinny jeans fit her like a glove, hugging her in all the right places.
"You know why I'm dressed up."
Lou tried to sit up a little bit, but she had no strength. "Actually, I don't even know why you're here. But you look fantastic."
Debbie furrowed her brow. "I'm taking you home. Lin asked me-oh my God, do you two even talk?"
"I've been a little under the weather the last few days. And high on cocaine, or whatever it is they've been shooting into my arm."
Debbie pulled up a chair and sat next to the bed. Her eyes scanned Lou's face. "You're looking a little better. Both eyes are working...sort of. And your color is back. How are you feeling?"
Lou didn't want to think about how torn up her face was. She hadn't looked in a mirror yet, but she knew it was bad just by the way Lin and Amita had looked at her. She knew one eye was black because Lin had referred to it as a shiner. She was pretty sure she'd had a dream about Debbie saying the same thing.
She could feel the small lacerations on her cheeks and forehead, probably from the prickly bushes she'd landed in. She figured she could look in the mirror and cry about it once she was back home. In the meantime, she wanted to turn her attention back to her fake girlfriend. "You look tan. Have you been sipping drinks poolside?"
Debbie glanced at her bare arms. "Maybe. And clothes shopping," she said with a shrug. "I'm a Kardashian now. It's what we do. That, and sunbathe naked in Lou Miller's backyard."
Lou's good eye widened in surprise. "No." Her mouth hung open for a second. "What about drones?" She hardly ever used her backyard, but being naked back there would absolutely never ever happen. With her luck, a drone would fly overhead and her tits would be plastered all over the internet within hours.
"Drones?" Debbie got a quizzical look on her face. "You think people fly drones over your house? Isn't that illegal?"
"You never know. Better safe than sorry."
"Well," Debbie wagged her eyebrows, "they've had a great show the last few days."
Lou smiled. Debbie seemed more relaxed. Maybe even...happy. "Did you say you're taking me home?"
"Yes. I got a text from Lin."
Lou let her eyes wander down Debbie's body. The first two buttons on the sleeveless black silk blouse were undone, allowing a little bit of cleavage to show. "Will you be my nurse too?"
Debbie rolled her eyes and laughed. "Oh, God. You must be feeling better."
"Well, I'm not hallucinating anymore. I mean, seriously, what is the appeal with heavy drugs? I felt like I was losing my mind. And they make my face itch."
"I really couldn't tell you. I was a good girl."
"Oh yeah?" Lou asked with a raised eyebrow. "You're destroying my image of child stars. I thought you were all doing acid by the age of ten."
Debbie shook her head. "Nope. For me, it was work, not play. I have a very strict brother."
"What about your mother?"
"What about getting you out of here?" Debbie asked, trying to change the subject. "That's what I'm here for, although I never imagined my career track would lead to being a chauffeur."
"They should be here any minute to discharge me." Lou casually wiped the sweat from her brow. Just trying to find a comfortable position for her broken arm completely wore her out, but she was trying her best to hide it. She was still on heavy pain meds, but not so heavy that they knocked her completely out.
"And what about at home?" Debbie asked. "Do you have a nurse lined up? Your mom? A sister, maybe?"
Lou bit her lip and smiled. "I was hoping..."
Debbie's eyes widened. "Oh, no. No, no, no, Lou. I'm not a fu-I'm not a nurse."
Lou shook her finger at Debbie. "You were going to use that word again."
"I know. I'm working on trying not to sound so harsh. This is California, not New York."
Lou laughed, which made her grimace in pain. "Good luck with that."
Debbie leaned forward in her chair, grabbing the safety bar on the bed. "Seriously, Lou. You need to hire a nurse. Or what about family? Let's just put everything on hold and you can have your mother come and stay with you."
Lou huffed. "My mother and her politics would drive me crazy. Come on, Debbie. I need you. I'll pay extra."
"I'm not a nurse!" Debbie said, throwing her hands in the air. "You need someone who knows what they're doing! Someone who cares about you!"
Lou turned away.
"Oh, God." Debbie rested her hand on Lou's shoulder. "That came out wrong. Look, I'm an actor. I'm not a nurse."
"But you played one on TV. Maybe you could act like you have some capacity for empathy."
"See, this is exactly why I shouldn't be your nursemaid. The level of care would be...not up to par."
"I disagree," Lou said. "I think given the right incentive, I'd be very well taken care of."
Debbie shook her head. "Lou..."
"You're smart, Debbie. Sassy as hell, with a chip on your shoulder the size of Texas, but smart. So why don't you come up with a way that makes this a win-win, because I really don't want to hold up progress on our plan just because I broke my arm. And I sure as hell don't want more houseguests."
"I'm sorry, but how are you even going to start shooting the next season? You've got what...a week and a half?"
Lou was worried about that too. She needed to heal up. And fast. "They'll write it into the script. I'm always beating the crap out of that pissy little DA. Maybe he returns the favor. Literally. Anyway, I can't delay it."
Debbie bit her thumbnail as she thought about it. "But will you be ready?" She glanced over at the X-rays that were still hanging on the wall, the new one displaying several screws and two metal rods holding Lou's bone together. "It's a pretty bad break."
"See, Debbie, you're practically a radiologist already," Lou quipped. "Just give it a shot. You know how I feel about strangers in my home."
Debbie stood up and started pacing. "You're so paranoid."
"I have my reasons. And if someone like my mom is in the house, you'll have to move out for the plan to work. And it looks to me like you've become accustomed to a certain lifestyle these past few days."
Debbie paced for another minute, glancing at Lou every so often. Eventually, she walked over to the bed and leaned down so they were face-to-face. "I'll do it on one condition. And it's a pretty big goddamned condition."
Lou smiled up at her. "That didn't take long. And you smell good, by the way."
"Shut up and listen, because the only thing that would make it worth me babysitting your sorry ass is you getting your producers to give me a part on your show."
"Wow, you're even smarter than I thought you were. Done."
"I'm not finished. I have a story idea, but let me flesh it out before I pitch it to you."
"Just get me out of here first." Lou put out her hand so Debbie could help her get out of bed. "You can flesh all you want poolside."
Debbie didn't take Lou's outstretched hand. She wanted more assurances. "Tell me you have enough pull to make this happen."
"Look, I can't make any promises. You know that's not how it works. Actors don't write storylines." Lou dropped her hand. She didn't have the strength to keep it up in the air. "That having been said, it's my show, Debz. Does anyone call you Debz? I don't have enough strength to say your name."
"You can call me whatever the hell you want if you can make this happen, but my producers never let me pitch anything-"
"Thank God," Lou said, interrupting her. "I'd hate to think you had anything to do with that storyline."
Debbie wagged her finger at Lou. "So, you have seen it! Should I be flattered?"
"I watched a few episodes on YouTube last night. Fascinating stuff."
Debbie rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah, everyone's a damn critic."
"I was looking at the acting, not the storyline."
Debbie hesitated to ask. "And?"
"Annie Fucking Porter is one messed-up bitch, but you, Debbie, are-"
Lou was interrupted by the nurse rolling in a wheelchair. "Who's ready to leave this joint?"
Lou looked at Debbie and smiled as she finished her sentence. "A brilliant actor."
Debbie sprang into action, pulling the blankets back and helping Lou sit up. "Annie Fucking Porter is actually a doctor, thank you very much, but she did start out as a nurse. You'll be delighted to know I even have a uniform."
Lou grimaced as she tried to work her way to the edge of the bed. "Will you wear it for me?"
Debbie helped Lou to her feet. "Hell, no. I was just making conversation."
Lou pointed to the bathroom and started shuffling in that direction. "You're a bitch sometimes, you know that?"
The nurse laughed at their conversation. "You two are a hoot!"
Debbie turned around and smiled as she helped Lou into the bathroom. "This is us on a good day!"
The nurse tilted her head and pointed at Debbie. "Aren't you...?"
"Annie Fucking Porter," Lou said. "Nurse, doctor, brain surgeon, identical twin-"
"I knew it!" the nurse exclaimed.
Debbie pulled Lou's gown up to help her onto the toilet. Lou swatted her hand away. "I broke my arm, Nurse Porter, but I'm pretty sure I can pee on my own." She tried to sit down on her own and quickly grabbed Debbie's hand. "Okay, so maybe I do need help."
"Good God, this is going to cost you."
"Good thing I'm rich." Lou closed her eyes and sighed as she relieved herself. "Whatever you want. It's yours."
Once Lou was out of the bathroom, Debbie opened her large purse and pulled a few items out. "I tried to find something with big arm holes." She held up a ribbed tank top. Lou nodded her approval. Debbie handed it to the nurse and turned away, giving them some privacy. When Lou was dressed and the nurse gone, she turned back around and pulled a baseball cap out of her purse. It was a Yankees hat she'd had since she was in high school. "I couldn't find a hat anywhere, but I thought you might want one since your hair is kind of...destroyed."
Lou ran her hand over her blond hair, trying to smooth it down, but it was no use. Only a shower and some good conditioner would take care of those knots. "Yeah, I guess I'll need it."
"Don't lose it. It's my lucky hat." Debbie handed it to her and folded her arms, waiting for Lou to put it on.
Lou looked at the worn-out hat and grimaced. "Maybe I'll get it dry cleaned before I give it back to you."
Lin burst into the room. "Hello, ladies." He looked Debbie up and down and said, "Wow. A little effort goes a long way."
Debbie resisted the urge to flip him off.
He looked at Lou, who was now sporting an old Yankees cap and a cast that went from her hand to her upper arm. "Maybe we should've had the stylist swing by the hospital room."
Lou actually did flip him off. "Shut up, Lin." She looked up at Debbie with pleading eyes. "Can we do this, please?"
"Which part," Debbie asked. "The fake girlfriend, or..."
Lou grabbed her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Can you please take me home?"
"Yes," Debbie said with a nod. She wanted to make another joke about how much it would cost, but seeing the pleading look in Lou's eyes stopped her. "Let's do this."
The sliding glass doors opened and cameras started flashing. They were all yelling for Lou to look their way. Someone shouted, "Who's your friend, Lou?" She kept her head down, letting the brim of the baseball cap cover her eyes as she gave them a little wave and thumbs-up.
Debbie looked shell-shocked at first, the cameras flashing in her eyes. Lin touched her arm, getting her attention. "You're blocked in. Let's get her in my car."
Even though Debbie had spent her life in the business, she'd never experienced any kind of paparazzi before. She quickly recovered and pushed the wheelchair to Lin's black Escalade and helped Lou into the back seat. She buckled Lou's seat belt and patted her hand. "I'll see you at home, okay?"
Lou winced in pain as she tried to find a comfortable position for her arm. Debbie reached across her and put the middle armrest down. "Maybe this will help."
"Thank you." Lou's faced contorted in pain as she moved her arm onto the rest. "God, it hurts," she whispered.
"Do you have your pain meds?"
Lou winced again. "The scrip is in my pocket."
"Are you going to tell me which one or do I need to..." Debbie ran her hand up Lou's jean-clad leg to her front pocket.
"Back pocket."
Their eyes met for a second and Debbie quickly moved her hand. "Right." She reached behind her and pulled out the prescription. "Got it."
"I'd make a joke about you enjoying that a little too much but I don't have the energy."
Debbie smirked. "Yeah, you're so damn sexy right now, with your greasy hair and...what is that smell?"
"Okay, ladies." Lin motioned with his head at the cameras.
Lou reached for Debbie's arm. "See you at home?"
Lou looked frightened. And honestly, she should be, considering she was going home to an empty house, with no one there to take care of her except Debbie. It was crazy. But Debbie had agreed to it, and she'd hold up her end of the deal. "Yeah. See you at home."