••••
"Dad, I know what I want to do for my birthday," Kennedy burst into his room and climbed into his bed, Shakur was watching TV but it was clear his child didn't care about him relaxing today.
"You don't get to have any more birthdays' you can't grow up on me princess," he told her.
Kennedy laughed, "I'll still be your baby, even though alot of people said when I have Josiah you'll replace me with him. I'll hate to have to fight my own kid," she told him.
"You'll never be replaced' maybe a little bit. But you know my heart,"
He stared down at her and how she laid back on his head board, a bag of sour cream and cheddar ruffles rested on her stomach while she paid attention to the TV. She was now 28 weeks pregnant and in two more weeks would be her seventeenth birthday. She was now in her third trimester and he didn't miss an appointment— Shakur was probably more excited to meet his grandson than Joshua was to meet his son. The ultrasounds had stopped being so frequent and he didn't like that— so he convinced the nurses to sneak her one each time they went every two weeks.
"Ouch," Kennedy groaned, clutching her stomach.
Shakur rubbed her hand, Braxton hicks had been kicking her ass. "You good baby?" He asked.
Letting out a deep breath she nodded, "I'm fine, thanks,"
"Where's Joshua? I noticed you two seem off lately, wassup with that? I been meaning to ask' and see if there's an issue I'm missing?"
Kennedy shifted a little— and avoided eye contact with her father as she focused back on the show that played. She smacked her lips when the TV cut off and she could feel Shakur staring at the side of her face, he didn't have to say anything at all, Kennedy know to start talking and he wouldn't wait all day for her too.
"We got into it last week— we ain't really together right now. He broke up with me,"
"Why?"
Kennedy played with her nails, "It was a stupid argument over some boy that had wrote me. Joshua's been gone so much lately I guess I just wanted a friend other than Naeem. Joshua saw the messages and he got mad— he blew up on me and told me I always been an easily influenced attention seeking little girl. Said I was begging for attention from another dude and I didn't see it that way. After that I got mad and I hit him," She whispered the last part because one thing her father had always told her if she lay hands on a male the don't be surprised if they retaliate.
Of course Shakur also told her once he chewed her out— he'd kill any boy behind her. He meant that.
"He didn't hit me back though," she quickly stated, "he said he was sick of me lashing out at him and my behavior concerned him. I can't help it though dad." Her voice cracked. "H— he told me he won't be with anyone who knows about his abuse with his parents and would still lay hands on him."
"Does he know about your histrionic personality disorder?" Shakur asked, "I told you when we first found out you were pregnant that it was something you needed to tell him before y'all made the decision to keep my grandson."
Once Kennedy didn't respond he shook his head, "I'm sorry dad. It's just so embarrassing— even the doctors said that they usually don't diagnose people with it until after they're eighteen... it's so hard to deal with. I can't help it that I constantly need reassurance or validation.. I seek attention good or bad from others, my mind doesn't work normally and I can't function properly without my medication." She paused and wiped her eyes, before continuing to speak again.
"All of that on top of being pregnant has me all over the place, the need to have all the attention on me is way much worse now and I know he's busy with football, schools coming back up, we're going to be seniors and I know that once his attention is off of me even for a second— I'll get bored and seek it from anyone else," she sobbed, "But I love him dad, I do."
Shakur pulled her into a hug and let her cry, "He's not wrong though. I don't appreciate you hitting him when you know what he endured already at home, I know you didn't have the most normal childhood and that plays a factor in your condition. I know you two are young but keeping something as serious as this away from him will only make you two clash. We can understand perfectly— but he can't understand what you won't tell him. That's not on him, it's on you because although no one can control it, he can have a better understanding of how to approach certain things with you better," He made her look at him.
"You need to tell him and apologize to him, he's a good kid. Most teenagers would have left you out here to be a single mom, I watch him wait on you hand and foot when he is here and he didn't deserve you hitting him or lashing out. I know you sugar coated' some shit though. He wouldn't have blew up if those messages weren't more than anything but friendly."
Kennedy sniffled, "He doesn't want anything to do with me— he's already talking to the captain of the cheer squad, and she's not even that cute." She frowned.
Shakur held back his laughter, "We both know he love you. Just put your pride to the side before he does get serious with her, trust me that's the last thing you want."
"I'll talk to him— can you take me to the school?"
••••
Arriving to the school Kennedy made her way to the football field where they held practice. It never mattered if it was on/off season, they seemed to practice year round. She had asked her dad to stay in the car and assured him that she could handle it. Shakur eyed her for a while before trusting her decision to not show out or embarrass Joshua in front of his teammates.
Walking on the field she noticed everyone was sitting in the bleachers, her eyes raked for Joshua and instantly frowned seeing Isis— the cheer squad captain sitting next to him. His arm tossed over her shoulder as he whispered in her ear. Isis giggled— Kennedy's fist balled so tight she was sure her fingernails pierced her skin.
Walking up to the two Isis noticed her first and sent a smirk her way, his homeboys quickly cleared their throats and got his attention.
The entire school knew how crazy Kennedy was— and after that fight she had been in they knew she wasn't nothing to play with fighting wise. She fought like she had been trained to do so all her life— Shakur taught her how to fight when she used to get bullied in eighth grade and he regretted it when she got expelled for punching the little girl in the throat, causing her to stop breathing for a second before nearly choking to death.
She thought about punching Isis in the middle of her chest to cut her breathing off but she didn't come here for that. That little smirk she did though? It bothered the hell out of Kennedy.
"K— Kennedy?" Joshua cleared his throat, removing his arm from around Isis. "The baby okay?" He looked over her.
"Don't s— stutter now," she glared at him.
"Are we still going back to my house when you're done with practice?" Isis asked and placed her hand on his chest.
Kennedy laughed, "She got about four seconds to stop touching you and you got an even shorter time to get the fuçk down here or I'll come up there."
Joshua stood and flung Isis's hand off of him, he stood right in front of Kennedy as soon as the words left her mouth. He cut his eyes at his teammates who snickered. "Kennedy," he said through clenched teeth. "What are you doing up here?"
"I came to talk to you but," she looked Isis up and down. Isis mugged her, "I see that you got other plans. Have fun with that— goodbye." She turned to walk away.
"Bye boo, congrats on the little one. I'd be real good to him," Isis picked at her nails.
Kennedy stopped in her tracks, "Don't chu eva' mention my fuckin' son." Joshua snapped— his country accent lacing his voice. Isis eyes widened at the sudden tone is voice— maybe she had went too far.
"I— I was just saying. If we were to get serious—"
"I never gave you the impression that' we'd ever be serious." He frowned at her, holding Kennedy by her was it knowing if he didn't she would most likely try to fight Isis.
Isis teared up before blinking them back, "Aw— he fucked you huh?" Kennedy asked, "Hopefully you don't end up like me— dumb and pregnant with a fuçk niggas baby." She snatched away from Joshua and stormed off.
Joshua quickly grabbed his things and told the coach he was leaving for the day— once he caught up to Kennedy she was at the car but he grabbed her arm. A little to hard for Shakur's liking. He saw her wince in pain from the sudden grip. Joshua really didn't mean to snatch her up how he did, he was just trying to talk to her.
"Don't be grabbing up on her like that," he jumped seeing Shakur step out of the car and look at his hand that was still placed on Kennedy. "You still touching her?"
Joshua quickly let her go, Kennedy then got into the car and she started to cry. It was one thing to know that he was talking to another girl but for him to have sex with her really had hurt her feelings, and she was pissed she couldn't necessarily fight Isis for trying to be funny about her son. Kennedy was a hothead but she would never put her child in harms way knowing that her pregnancy was already complicated. She loved her son and he wasn't even in the world yet—- no girl or Joshua could make her do something so stupid. Even though it took a lot for her not too beat them both up.
Shakur nodded for him to get into the car, he got into the backseat and Shakur drove off. "Kennedy— what happened?" He asked her hearing her soft cries turn into sobs.
"I— I don't want to talk about it. Fuçk this nigga,"
Shakur stopped at a red light and she felt his eyes on her, in the moment though she didn't really care.
"I can't wait to have this baby," she continued and wiped at her eyes. "Maybe I shouldn't let you see him— since you want to have sex with other people. Go make her a teen mom and don't be there for her next." She punched the dashboard.
"Yeah aight' don't even play with me about my son Kennedy." Joshua's jaw clenched.
Shakur shook his head, "Both of y'all just calm down, until we get to the house."
"What house? He better go to that bitch house— I swear to God if he walk into our house I'll lose my shit. I'm being really calm right now— I'll bash his fuçking face in." She angrily wiped at her eyes.
"Kennedy— you being disrespectful right now. I advise you to shut the fuçk up' before you piss me off."
Kennedy bit her bottom lip to refrain from lashing out on Shakur as well. Although she wanted to tell him to shut the fuck up too— her blood was boiling and she was about to snap. She had been doing good about lashing out but it felt as if her body was on literal fire and she wanted to hurt Joshua. The rest of the car ride was dead silent— and when they arrived home she got out of the car and slammed the door so hard she made the entire car shake.
"Kennedy—"
"Man' fuck you." She yelled and instead of walking into their home— she walked to the pool house.
Using her key to let herself in—- Sincere stood in the kitchen making him something to snack on. Hearing his door slam he looked up and saw the state Kennedy was in. He rushed to her and pulled her into a hug, "What's wrong bunny?" He asked, rubbing her back.
"I'm going to fuçking kill him," she sniffled.
"Kill who?" He asked confusingly, "What happened?"
Before she could respond his door opened again— Sincere's eyes widened a little seeing Shakur snatch Kennedy up and drag her through the backyard. She struggled to get out of his grip. "You're hurting me," she cried.
Sincere had made his way up to the two and pushed Shakur off of her, "Are you crazy? She said you're hurting her—-"
"Nigga why the fuçk' you touching me? Even talking to me? This ain't got shit to do with you' she my child. Watch the fuçk out," Shakur snapped and shoved Sincere back with way more force than Sincere pushed him with. "Fuck out my face,"
Kennedy rubbed her arm and stood in front of Sincere who's eyes watered, it had been an entire month since the last time he had been this close to Shakur. The night he watched Sincere sleep was the last night he showed up or even tried speaking to Sincere. He avoided him and had went back to the cold hearted— mean Shakur he had met years ago. He knew he had hurt him but he didn't think Shakur would act as if he didn't know him at all. Shakur acted as if Sincere was a total stranger to him.
"It has everything to do with me," Sincere quickly blinked back his tears, "Don't grab her like that."
Shakur moved Kennedy out of his way, "What the fuçk you gone do about it?" His eyes were dark and cold, sending shivers down Sincere's spine. "Next time you put your hands on me' you gone wish you had kept your little bitch ass in that house." He stood face to face with him, hatred lacing his voice. "I'll kill you right where you stand— I'll end all your fuçking misery." He gritted out.
"Dad!" Kennedy gasped and stood between the two again. "You don't mean that, just stop it."
Sincere wiped away his tears that fell, "I hate you!" He looked Shakur into the eyes.
"I don't give a fuçk— that's supposed to hurt me or what? You ain't the first or last nigga I can get. You forgot I'm married too? Who the fuck' you posed to be? A no fuçking body to me' that's who." Shakur laughed, "Kennedy get the fuck in the house." His eyes snapped towards her. Dismissing Sincere.
Sincere nodded his head, he didn't say anything else. He held back the sob he wanted to let out and headed back to the pool house. That was the side of Shakur he never wanted to resurface and knowing he was the one to bring it back out had hurt him. He knew he would hurt Shakur feelings but it was clear that he had broke his heart too— and he never meant for things to crash and burn how they did. He just wanted a little space to figure out some things and Shakur didn't seem to get the hint. He never meant anything he said to him a month ago but he could tell Shakur meant every word he had just said to him.
"Dad that wasn't necessary—-"
"I thought I said get the fuck in the house?" She jumped from the tone in his voice, she swallowed hard before walking into the house.
Her eyes landed on Joshua who's leg bounced up and down with tears streaming down his face. "What did you tell him?" She snapped at him.
Joshua cut his eyes at her, "The truth' why would you make me the one in the wrong knowing how your dad is? What's the difference from me being with Isis when I saw in the messages what you did with that nigga when I was away at football camp? You really always playin' the victim and I hate that. I was a good dude to you— when the fuck' was you gone' tell me about yo' condition? I feel I don't know you at all. I'm really Inlove with a person I know nothing bout'. I— fuçk you Kennedy. I'll rather go to a fuçkin' homeless shelter than to deal with the same abuse I dealt wit' at home. Making me feel like I'm the problem and abusin' me!" His voice cracked.
"What did you tell him?" She asked again— not daring to face her father who just walked back into the house. Her heart was in her ass.
"That's all you care' bout? After all I just said?"
"No— I care about it all but, I— Joshua," she teared up.
Shakur paced back and forth, "You know earlier I knew you sugar coated' some shit." He started, "But you out here letting a little nigga give you oral? It's bad enough you're sixteen and pregnant but to be out here like you're some type of hoe? Kennedy I'll fuck you up, and to hear how it happened more than once? First— no other little nigga should be touching you while you're carrying Joshua's child. Two— you shouldn't even be out here doing anything sexual at your age anyway. You hate your mother so bad' but to me you being a little hoe just like her." He snapped, the veins in his neck visible. "I didn't raise you to be—"
"YOU BARELY RAISED ME AT ALL!" Kennedy cried out and yelled! "If you weren't in the streets killing niggas and taking me on dangerous ass missions with you— you were always on the road. To leave that same hoe you're bashing to raise me! You knew she never wanted me but neither did you since you left me with her! I raised my damn self—- so what I turned to sex. Atleast I was older than the two fuck ups that had me! I'll never make my son feel how y'all made me feel— I promise you that. You know apart of my condition is based on me wanting the need to feel wanted and the only time I ever felt wanted was when I had sex with Joshua. When he left for camp— I turned to the next nigga that wanted to show me attention so yeah— I let him eat my pussy. So the fuck what, fuçk you and Joshua' I hate both you niggas."
Kennedy's chest heaved up and down. Shakur raised his hand to hit her for being too disrespectful but he was quickly shoved back. "I ain't finna let you' hit her." Joshua spoke lowly but clearly. "Especially not while she's pregnant.."
"Get y'all shît and get the fuck out my house, before I go to prison for murdering my own fuçking kid." Shakur felt his blood boiling. "Nigga, don't you ever step to me again' I'd fuçk you up too,"
He turned and walked into his room and slammed the door, she heard him punching the wall and throwing things. Grabbing out her phone— her hands shook. She knew that she had to get the fuçk out of the house before he changed his mind and came back out there and beat her ass.
Once the phone connected she let out a deep breath, "C— can you come get me and Joshua? Dad has lost his shit with everybody and I— I messed up really bad Cas. I'm scared,"
"I- I'm at work.. know what, just go somewhere safe and I'm right on my way. I'll call you when I'm at the gate." Cassidy told her, quickly gathering her things from the office.
She hadn't talked to Kennedy nor Shakur in a month— so it had to be serious being Kennedy finally reached out, after all of her failed attempts to build a relationship with her.
To be continued....
••••
Shakur is back— I 😩
Kennedy's condition is finally being touched on. Thoughts?
Her finally voicing outloud how her childhood has affected her?
Her and Joshua's first argument 🥹 I don't like them into it at all. BUT— he always gone step for her. 🫱🏼🫲🏾
What stood out the most? Thoughts overall?