Aisha's P.O.V.
"Yo, Aisha, hold up! For real, I'm sorry about not telling you about Suge getting out, but don't ya think you kinda overreacting to this, baby?" Marshall's voice sounds behind me as he follows me as I attempt to storm out of the hotel resort he has booked for us here in Rio.
He sounds apologetic, but then I also detect a bit of anger in his voice and that pisses me off even more.
"I am not overreacting at all, Marshall, and don't you dare say that I am!!" I point my finger at him, spinning around on my heels to face him. "Don't try and downplay how I feel about this because you know very well why I would feel like this!!" My face twists in anger as I furrow my eyebrows at him, trying to look tough.
Whatever expression was on his face before now gets replaced with confusion. But then there's also a hint of amusement to it too.
"What the... Yo, ain't nobody is downplaying ya feelings, girl, fuck is you even talking about?!"
At this point, I honestly don't even know, but I've just been feeling really emotional these past few days, and I don't even know why. It might be that I'm feeling so much under pressure lately, what with my new album finally coming out, like my solo album, not just me doing endless features on Marshall's songs, and now that we are almost about done with The Monster Tour, and I'm trying to revive my own career, I don't know... It's all just been too much for me, I guess.
And now, to top it all off, my daddy is also getting out of prison, and I don't know how to even feel about it. And Marshall lying to me about it was just an icing on this like, really crappy cake.
"Ugh, you just don't get it, Marshall!!" I exclaim, practically stomping my foot like a small child.
And he says a very wrong thing to me then.
"Yo, I'm still ain't getting it. You on your period or something? That's wassup with all them mood swings?"
"Are you fucking for real, Marshall?! No, I am not on my period!! Just because a girl might be a little upset doesn't automatically mean that, the hell?!" I huff as he chuckles.
"Oh, I see, the bratty Aisha is back, i get it," he concludes then giving me one of his extremely annoying smug smirks. Everybody seems to think that Eminem doesn't smile anymore. Oh trust me, he does. Just not in public. But in private? Oh this boy will drive you crazy with that smug cracked grin that plasters on his face when he thinks he's got you all figured out.
"Ugh, go to hell, Marshall, I am not being bratty!" I protest, turning away from him once more.
"Sure you ain't, baby. Come here," he pulls me to him and wraps his arms around me in a sort of a bear hug.
I roll my eyes and try to free myself from his grasp, but he holds on.
I huff and I try to act like he still irritates the hell out of me, but the truth is, I already feel myself soften towards him. Damn him!! He works my nerves like no other, but obviously I still love him to death, he can annoy me all he wants...
"Aisha, you are like the most spoiled girl I've ever dealt with in my life, and you know that shit is true," Marshall whispers into my ear, moving my long hair to the side and planting soft kisses at the back of my neck. "You are my girl though, so chill. I'm sorry, aight? Sorry I ain't tell you about Suge getting out, I won't keep no more secrets from you, I promise. Now, let me out of the dog house."
"Okay," I reply, rolling my eyes again.
I turn back towards him again, my eyes still narrowed into slots, still trying to look tough.
Marshall's fingers curl under my chin, cupping my jaw as he turns me around and brings my face up to his.
After kissing me for a few seconds, I'm not even mad at him anymore.
But I still feel like I need some space from him.
"Marshall... I'm still going out though. By myself," I say against his lips, then back away from him, pushing against his chest gently.
"Where you gonna go?" He blinks a few times. He looks kind of upset with me, but understanding.
"I don't know, just want to explore the area, I guess. I need some air, and to like... think about things."
"Yeah, aight," he grumbles.
I smile at him and blow him a kiss at the door.
"I'll make it up to you later, I promise!"
"Yeah, you better do that, girl," he grumbles again, I swear sometimes he sounds like an old ass man. "Take security with you, at least," he then adds.
"I will," I reply, walking out of the hotel suit.
I don't know, I really do just need to be to myself for a few hours.
So I could process things.
My daddy getting out, that's crazy to me. Marshall is right, I am still low key very scared of him. Even after all these years, I can still remember the lengths my father had gone to separate me from Marshall, and him being behind bars and all this whole time, he seemed like he might have changed, but who really knows?! I'm terrified that he would be back to his old tricks to threaten Marshall, harm Marshall and get me back under his control again. Not to mention, Sienna. How would daddy feel about her, would he try to get his paws on her as well and control her like he used to control me, oh my God, just the thought alone is giving me anxiety!
And I feel like, if I'm around Marshall right now, he would try to placate me, reassure me how everything is going to be okay, which is great, but like... He does tend to downplay the seriousness of every situation.
Marshall never worries about anything, and that's why I always have to worry. For the both of us.
Because at least one of us has to be smart about this.
But then again...
Ugh, maybe I'm just too in my own head sometimes, I need to stop!!
I think I could use a drink...
Now that Marshall is sober, I'm pretty much trying to be sober with him in solidarity with him. Not to mention, that me even drinking or smoking before, was just a way for me to keep up with him anyways. So once he stopped doing those things, it wasn't no reason for me to keep up with it neither, and yet, right now, I feel like getting drunk.
Like, piss drunk...
So I ask my driver to take me to the nearest bar here in Rio.
Not long after, I find myself in this kind of a hole-in-a-wall type of an establishment, right along with my bodyguard.
I order this like really tropical cocktail and it honestly tastes amazing.
And I am also really feeling the vibe in this place, the music that's playing there sounds very relaxing, and I allow myself to just kind of melt away.
I'm also kind of missing Marshall too. It was pretty mean of me to just ditch him during what is basically like our second honeymoon and go to this bar all by myself just because I was a little upset with him earlier. This is our anniversary after all, and he literally went out of his way to surprise me with this trip to Brazil. Dang, I really am a brat, aren't I?
"Tony, do you think I'm a horrible wife to Marshall?" I ask my bodyguard, slurring my words a little bit from that just one drink. Yep, my tolerance for alcohol is still as low as I don't know what...
My poor security guatd just looks all uptight and confused then, not really sure how to even answer that. He can probably see just how messed-up I currently am.
Just as he is trying to find words though, some random local girl plops on the barstool next to us. She smiles and starts speaking rapidly in Portuguese to me, causing me to frown helplessly. Like, girl, I don't understand a word you are saying to me right now, dang!!
Tony tenses at the girl's intrusion, but I quickly signal to him that it's okay.
"I'm so sorry, I don't understand, I don't speak Portuguese," I apologize to the girl, who then smiles widely.
"Oh, you American?" She asks and I nod.
"Oh, I was just telling you, you look just like that singer, you know, Aisha Knight," the girl gushes to me in near perfect English.
"Um, yes, I get that a lot," I smile.
"I mean meu deus, the resemblance is crazy, you even sound like her!!"
"So I've been told," I continue to smile sheepishly. I don't want to reveal that I actually AM her, because Marshall and I are both trying to stay as incognito as possible here in Rio. It's bad enough some paps had already spotted me earlier at the resort.
"Giiiiirl, you should uh, how to say it, you should do karaoke with us, right there!!" The younger girl points. "You should do one of Aisha's songs, it would be fun!!"
"Um...okay," I agree, even though Tony is frantically shaking his head at me. I shouldn't do this at all actually, and I know that, but like, I'm so drunk right now, and I just want to have fun.
So I do the karaoke thing.
They have one of my old songs in the machine.
"Wow, she does sound like Aisha Knight," this girl's, whom I now know is named Maisa, friends all gush in English. "Girl you sound just like Aisha back in the day, before she start to live all like in Eminem's shadow," one of them announces, causing me to frown.
"What do you mean by that?" I ask.
"Well like, we all loved the old Aisha, back when she used to just sing her own songs and not just sing choruses on Eminem's songs. Not that they don't make for a great duo," another person shrugs.
And I feel punched in the gut.
Is that how all of my fans see me?
That I just sing hooks on Marshall's songs, that I'm living in his shadow?
Does Marshall see me like this as well, does he like it? Does he enjoy me being a mere extension of him...
No, that can't be! Marshall was always super supportive of my career, he encouraged me to sing back when I was too scared to so much as open my mouth in front of a live audience.
Only...
Over the years, I was in fact reduced to the role of being merely his wife, I had to put everything on hold back when he was dealing with his issues for a time, back when Proof had died, back when his addiction to those pills had worsened, back when Marshall almost died from an overdose, I had to take a step back from my own life and take care of him. And I don't regret it one bit, because I love him so much, but like...
After it was all said and done, I am no longer who I used to be. You know, I've always fought so hard against being only recognized as Suge Knight's daughter, and I have succeeded in that.
Only to now being referred to as Eminem's wife...
"Am I just Eminem's wife, is that how EVERYBODY sees me now?" I ask drunkenly, laying on the bed and staring at the ceiling.
"For fuck's sake, just how drunk are you right now, Aisha?" Marshall's pale face and blue eyes hovering over me as he frowns.
I don't even remember how I got back to our hotel suit. I guess Tony might have carried me in, I don't know...
"Oh my God, Marshall! I've had like one or two drinks. Three tops, I promise!!" I giggle as he continues to frown.
"What?!" I suddenly sit up on the bed. "You judging me now, or something?!" I exclaim, trying my best to appear tough.
Only to feel Marshall's arms pushing me back down as he makes me change into one of his t-shirts and pulls the covers over me.
"Aight nobody judging you, Aisha," he sighs. "It's just that you can't handle your liquor, baby. You never could," he says, chuckling lightly, pissing me off so much. Ugh, he's so annoying!!
I do love him though...
"Screw you, Marshall," I mumble as my vision begins to blur.
"Sure thing, baby. Once you sober up," I can barely even make out his smug voice anymore before I literally pass out.
As I drift off to sleep, all I can think of is how much I love him.
But also the fact that I need to break away from him. Career wise anyways. I want to be an artist in my own right, not just some rapper's wife that sings most of his hooks...
---
Aisha in Brazil
Marshall's looking perplexed at her current attitude lol