TW: Mentions of suicidal thoughts.
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As soon as we get back to where we're staying, Leon's shoulders finally fall, as if now we're alone he can finally be himself.
"Are you okay?" I worriedly ask as he begins taking off all his weapons and gear, setting them on the table. He nods without turning to look at me, that's when I know he definitely isn't alright.
"Hey," I softly murmur, stepping closer to him, I reach out but he side steps me and walks into the bathroom, turning on the shower, "talk to me. Don't shut me out."
"There's nothing to talk about. I'm fine." He snaps. His face changes from anger to regret in the matter of a few seconds, then he lets out a long sigh as he runs a hand over his face. Without another word he closes the door, shutting me out.
I stand there for a second, wondering if I should say something else. Maybe I could offer him a drink or something? But then I decide to leave him, I go get changed into something comfy and tidy up a little, not that there's much to do but I fear if I stay still I'll end up worrying too much.
After almost forty minutes I begin to get anxious, biting my lip contemplating whether to go check on him. The last thing I want to do is interrupt him if he's crying, I really wish he'd let it all out.
Another few minutes pass and I say 'fuck it' and head to the bathroom. I knock on the door, but there's no answer.
"Leon, you okay in there?" I panic, knocking again. Nothing. I put my ear to the door and hear the running of the shower, but no crying, no other sounds.
"I'm coming in." I call before opening the door and scanning the room, it's hard to see through the thick mist, I can feel the heat of the water from the doorway. My eyes fall on Leon, who is sitting on the floor of the shower, his knees are tucked to his chest and his arms are wrapped around himself. The water sprays on his back, making it red raw. He just stares at the floor infront of him, not acknowledging me at all.
"Shit," I mumble, rushing to the shower and turning it off. I almost burn my hand from the metal, I can't imagine how much pain Leon is in. "Talk to me. Please." I plead, grabbing a towel from the rack and wrapping it around him.
I don't look anywhere else but into his face, this isn't the time. Slowly his sad blue eyes lift to meet my gaze. "I should've died in Raccoon City." He mumbles.
My heart breaks at the sight of this broken man before me, "Don't say that. You've helped people since then, you've saved me numerous times."
Leon shakes his head once. "Doesn't matter, the things I've done can't be forgiven, I can't erase the shit I've seen, the people I've kill-" he breaks off with a shuddery breath.
I reach out hesitantly, cupping his cheek. Unexpectedly he leans into my touch, closing his eyes. "All I wanted to do was help people." He whispers so faintly I almost miss it.
"And you are. In our line of work and how the world is, we've gotta do horrible things, but we're also helping people. Saving people. They'd be dead if we didn't do the things we do." I murmur.
Leon takes a deep breath and nods, opening his eyes once more. I give him an encouraging smile, but he just purses his lips. "I'm glad you're here." He mumbles, grabbing the towel as I stand up and turn away. When I turn around again Leon stands there with a towel wrapped around his waist, and now I take a moment to enjoy the view.
"Me too." I smirk, earning a soft chuckle from Leon before he wraps an arm around my shoulders and presses a kiss to the side of my head.