Hey y/n, now that you are home from work do you wat to jump on and play with me?" Your roommate Vinny asked you as you walked into the living room while he is currently playing the xbox.
"I have a lot of cutting to get done for my hallway bulletin board at work, but I can sit out here and keep you company while I do it if you'd like?" You respond.
You smile at him while setting your bag down and going to get an extra pair of scissors. You know he is going to wind up helping you cut everything out, he always does. Honestly you are lucky to have him as a roommate, you had a mutual friend recommend you to him when he was looking for a roommate and you decided to go for it. The two of you work out really well as roommates, and have become really close. You don't really fight and if you are both home you spend quite a bit of time together, this last year has been great. And half the time he is on tour regardless so then you basically live alone, and he gets someone to watch his house while he is away so it is a win-win.
"What is your new theme this time?" Vinny asks you without once looking up from his game.
You sit down and start cutting before responding, "Spyto the Dragon. The quote is Dragon our feet into fall. It's going to replace my Super Mario board."
"I doubt your 2 year olds are going to know Spyro," he responds giving you a playful nudge to the shoulder.
"Probably not but they will recognize that it is a dragon. Plus I am running out of video game ideas but everyone expects that board to be a video game of some kind now because the last 3 have been video games." You roll you eyes as you get to work cutting things out.
"Just give me a damn pair of scissors so I can help you get done faster and then kick your ass at Rust that much quicker," he sighs putting the controller down on the arm of the couch next to him.
You smirk and grab the extra pair you already had ready for this to happen. He always winds up helping you with it one way or another when he is home. You figure that is what he gets for accepting a lead daycare teacher for a roommate.
"You look pretty relaxed today, your crazy child must have been gone today? I don't remember the last time you've seemed this happy after work in awhile," Vinny says as he starts cutting out your letters for you.
"No he was there, he was so bad that he was sent home by 10 this morning. He pushed my toy shelves over ripped things off the walls, bit me hard enough to draw blood and kept beating the shit out of the kids. His grandma was pissed about coming to get him but he needed to go as bad as he was today. The rest of the day was good after he left and I was able to actually interact with the other kids." You grimace thinking about the bite mark on your hand, not really wanting to remember what was going on.
"Why has he still not been kicked out? I don't get why they keep allowing this to happen. Anyways, I was just curious because you seem so relaxed." he glances up at you, trying to see where your mood is before speaking again. "So remember that girl I told you about, Hannah? She asked me on a date for Friday a little bit ago."
You pause what you are doing for a second, you were not prepared for what he just said in the slightest.
"I didn't realize that you two were getting that close already, what do you think you are going to do on your date?" you ask, not wanting to seem rude or upset.
"Just out for dinner from the sounds of it. I don't honestly see this getting serious but I don't know. It doesn't hurt to try and see where it goes," he says to you.
"You could have almost any woman you could want and you are going to go on a date with one that you don't see yourself staying with? I don't understand your logic at all," you question him.
"I could see myself with her just don't know if it would be long term because I keep getting hot and cold vibes from her." he rolls his eyes at you.
You decide it is just best to drop the subject, pushing the subject too much is going to upset both you and him and ruin your night. Plus if you push things too far he might figure out your feelings, and the last thing you need is for him to know is that you've genuinely developed strong feelings for him and make him feel awkward. Its quiet for a minute while you both try to decide what to say.
Vinny chooses to break the silence, " What about you, isn't it time for you to start looking again now that you are settled in here with you job and everything? Have you met someone?"
You immediately panic and find yourself flushing at his words, the blush on you cheeks getting intense as you figure out what to say. How the hell do you answer without making it obvious? Vinny looks up at you and smirks when he sees the blush growing.
"You must have someone you like, your blush gave you away!" He says with a laugh, teasing you. "I've told you about Hannah, tell me about him what is he like?"
"You sound like a teenage girl right now. There isn't anything to tell you, I like him and he sadly isn't interested in me. But I don't expect someone like him to want to be with someone like me," you say with a shrug. "I'm not exactly the most beautiful girly girl that fit his type."
You try hard not to let your insecurities start to eat you alive as you finish cutting the last gem you had to finish.
"Then you should find someone else, don't dwell on what isn't there." Vinny quickly says throwing you a smile. If only he knew....
You both continue to talk as you finish cutting things out, when you finish he hands you a controller and you join in, playing with him for about an hour before you excuse yourself to take a shower and go to bed.
Friday Night
"Hey, I am heading out just to let you know," Vinny peeks his head in your bedroom door before quick.
"Have a good night, text me if you need something," you respond with a smile, glancing up from your laptop.
The second you hear the front door open you close your laptop and make your way to the living room, getting ready to order take out. Truthfully you didn't have anything to work on like you told Vin, you just didn't want to help him get ready for a date with someone else. You would if he desperately asked you to do so but you weren't going to go out of your way to when it hurt you inside to watch him do so. Maybe that was selfish of you to not help him but you need to take care of your own feeling too.
You turn on the tv and set it to a show you've been wanting to watch on netflix for awhile and wait for your food to arrive, all you do is sit there and binge watch this show. It was a lot better than you expected.
You hear the front door open a couple hours later and Vinny walks in with who you're assuming is Hannah, both of them laughing at something someone said.
You try to not think about that and continue watching your show until they join you in the living room.
"Hey y/n, this is Hannah, Hannah this is my roommate." Vinny says as they both take a seat on the couch across from your recliner that you are in. You pause the tv so as not to be rude before smiling at Hannah.
"Hello Hannah," you look up and almost wish you didn't. "Nice to meet you."
"Nice to meet you too y/n." She says returning a smile.
You can't help but feel a pang of jealousy in your stomach at the sight of them holding hands, both of them looking content with eachothers company. You also would be lying if you tried to say you aren't jealous at how beautiful she is, you can absolutely understand why he would be interested in her.
All of you make small talk before you excuse yourself and go to your room, not really wanting to watch the two of them continue to be cuddly and cute together on the couch. Slowly retreating to your room you sit down on your bed with a sign, putting some music on to drown out the giggles coming from the other room. You lie in bed getting upset at your thoughts, that won't leave despite how much you wish they could. That night you didn't sleep because your thoughts of Vinny wouldn't leave.
A Month Later
You have been stressed out about one of your kids at work as well as keeping up on everything you need to get done, and truthfully have been avoiding Vinny quite a bit because it seems he is always with Hannah or talking about her and you just can't handle that on top of your work stress.
Everyone has been able to tell something is going on with you, but nobody has confronted you and asked about it. Honestly, you are disappointed that even Vin, who is one of your best friends hasn't been checking on you to see what is wrong, but you suppose he is too busy with his new girlfriend.
You just wish someone would care enough to worry about you other than your boss, who is only asking because your funk is starting to affect your work a little bit. You actually just got out of a meeting with her where she asked if you were doing alright and that led to you crying in her office, but letting her know it is all personal things going on and that you are working on dealing with everything that is happening and are trying to keep doing your best for the kids.
Walking into your house you mentally groan when you notice Hannah sitting on the couch but you give her a small smile to be polite.
"Hi Hannah," you say while taking your shoes off by the door.
"Hey y/n." she looks up at you. "Have you been crying, are you okay?"
You curse yourself for being unable to hide your emotions from anyone, you have never been good at it.
"Yeah I am fine, just have a lot going on is all," you respond.
"Do you want to talk, Vinny ran to the store and is going to be gone for awhile, we can have girl talk. I know sometime that is all you need, to vent to another woman about whatever is going on," she says softly.
This is a prime example of why you hate that she is with Vinny, she is so nice that you almost hate yourself for not liking her. Why couldn't he have chosen someone that is awful, that you have a reason to hate.
"Oh you don't need to hear about my guy drama," you say brushing it off.
"Nonsense, come and talk to me. I will gladly listen," she says. "I would like for us to be friends, considering you are close to Vinny."
You can't bring yourself to turn her down again when she looks so happy to be talking to you. You sit down on the couch next to her, avoiding her gaze.
"So what is going on, I have been able to tell lately that something is bothering you. Vinny notices it too you know, he says you've been hiding in your room a lot lately." she says to you.
"I mean for starters work has been crazy, we are so understaffed that I am getting stuck working crazy hours. And my naughty child is a lot worse lately, his mom has come back in the picture and its causing him to act out. I really want to help this child and I finally had 2 weeks where I got him calmed down and doing good and then the last 2 he has been absolutely insane again, I hate asking for help but I have had to ask people to come in and work with him and help me learn to work with him, which makes me feel awful." you say with a sigh. Work has been stressful for you lately, that is part of why it does kill you to avoid Vinny, you can't destress by playing video game and the like with him anymore.
"And you mentioned boy problems? So you are struggling with a guy on top of work being crazy? No wonder you are struggling, you have a lot going on." she says, pulling you into a hug which catches you off guard.
This act makes you start to cry slightly, before you continue talking.
"Yes, I have a pretty heavy crush on this guy and he doesn't even notice me at all. We we're pretty close but anymore its like I don't matter anymore. I just wish I was enough, that maybe I could make him happy but I'm not." you can't help but let the tears fall at this point, hoping to god that she didn't realize who you were talking about.
"I promise you that you are good enough for him, you may feel like he doesn;t notice you but he does to the point his girlfriend actually was planning to break up with him tonight because she's pretty sure he is in love with you," she says, before starting to cry herself. "Yes, I know Vinny is why you are this way. And trust me, I am pretty sure he feels the same for you but doesn't realize that he does yet. He has been absolutely worried about you lately and only seems to care about what is going on with you, believe it or not. I finally told myself it is not fair to let myself continue to fall for him when I know deep down that I am not who he wants, but please don't feel like its your fault. I actually would enjoy being friends with you after everything, maybe not right away but..." she trails off.
You both sit there, awkwardly, and unsure what to say next when Vinny comes back and notices both of you crying. You just kind of look up, before thanking Hannah and telling her she is always welcome to message you when she needs to talk before retreating to your bedroom, trying your hardest to hear what is going on out in the living room.
You can't help but listen in to the conversation that is going on between both of them through your door.
"Is everything okay? I didn't expect to come back to both of you crying," you hear Vinny say softly, probably trying to hug her.
"Honestly, no. Vinny I think we need to break up." Hannah says.
"What, why? Did y/n say something is that why you were both crying?" he asks her.
"Vinny, I am not stupid at all. I can tell that you are in love with her, not with me. And she loves you, she all but admitted directly that tonight to me. She didn't say it but I can tell, and I think that is why she is avoiding you. Vinny, you aren't ever going to be mine. Even if you don't want to admit it the two of you need to be together not us. I can't keep lying to myself anymore and pretending that you want me," she says. "Don't be mad at y/n, she isn't what caused me to decide this, I have been thinking about this for a week or so now."
You hear footsteps and then the front door closing, so you doubt that she is here anymore. You feel guilty that she broke up with him, you genuinely feel like it is your fault. You move yourself to your bed and lay down, letting your tears flow. You are just so stressed out and don't know what to do anymore, giving up and wanting to go to bed.
You hear a soft knock on your door before it opens, you don't even look up because you know that it is Vinny who walked in. You feel your bed shift, knowing that he sat down on your bed next to you. A soft hand rests on your back, rubbing it softly.
"I really fucked up didn't I? I hurt two really awesome girls because I was trying to avoid my feelings," he says softly. "But I didn't realize just how much you meant to me until I was trying to force myself to have those feelings towards her, but I just couldn't."
You roll over so that you are facing him, laying your head on his lap, still not looking at him. He reaches down and brushes your tears from your cheeks.
"No matter how hard I tried not to love you like that I couldn't stop. When you started pushing me away it hurt me a lot more than what you realized. Unfortunately Hannah could tell, and she wound up hurt in the process. I never realized that in the process that I hurt you too." he says looking down at you.
"I never told you, so I can't blame you at all for wanting someone else. I thought that you guys were serious and it really hurt me, but I didn't want to be the reason you two didn't work out, so I felt like I couldn't tell you what was wrong and that I needed to distance you so that she wouldn't question anything, but I guess she still figured out that I love you. And Vinny, I do love you and I wish I didn't. I don't want to make things weird between us. And I am sorry that Hannah found out and that is why she broke up with you." you say, avoiding his gaze.
"Did you not just listen to what I said? I said that I loved you and couldn't make myself stop. That is why she left me, because she knew that I did, not because of you so don't allow yourself to feel guilty because of that." he says, grabbing your chin and making you look up at him.
Neither of you knew what to say next, now that everything is out in the open. Both of you made eye contact and stayed still, not sure what you should do now that everything is out in the open.
"So would you like to get dressed and go out to dinner? Have our first date of hopefully many?" Vinny asks trailing off, sounding hopeful.
"I would love that," you answer. "But not tonight, I think I would just like to lay here and enjoy the moment."
He nods at you, him moving to lay down with you, playing with your hair while you rest your head on his chest. "Hey y/n thank you for giving me a chance, sorry it took me getting a girlfriend for us to find out we both loved eachother."
"Eh, it'll be a fun story to tell people later on, and I expect you to make it up to me," you say winking at him. "And I don't think that I am the one you need to apologize to."
"I already messaged her apologizing for everything before I came in here," he tells you.
Both of you stay like that, content with the closeness that you both are currently having. Unsure of what exactly what going to happen between both of you, but happy to be getting a chance to figure out where it will lead.