Their conversation before the shower might’ve been just mindless banter and not very serious, but it still got Y/n thinking.
Would she get hard if she thought about, like… Sana?
The thought doesn’t leave her even after she’s out of the shower, or even when she’s back in her room where she can’t help but notice the pillow now expertly placed on Sana’s lap to hide her problem.
Y/n tries to think of something else, because Sana being in the room and the two of them talking about such intimate things since yesterday night isn’t helping her calm down at all. She’s facing her closet while she quickly tries to change into a clean shirt when Sana’s voice interrupts her.
“Y/n, what is that?”
Y/n turns her head to give her a look over her shoulders. “What’s what?”
“On your back.” Sana throws the pillow away, before she gets up from the bed. She steps up right behind Y/n before she squats down and touches Y/n’s lower back.
Y/n faces her closet again, trying not to shudder when the pads of Sana’s fingers run over the knobs of her spine. “What is it?”
“You have bruises.”
“What?” Y/n frowns and tries to look down her back but she doesn’t see much. “Where?”
“Here.” Sana gently presses her index finger into the knobs of her spine. “Three of them.”
“Oh.” Y/n turns to face the closet again, shrugging her shoulders. “It must’ve happened when you pushed me against the table yesterday.”
“What?” Sana sounds horrified. “Did I push you that hard?”
Y/n gives her a smile over her shoulders. “No, I just bruise easily. It didn’t even hurt.”
“But it looks really bad.” Sana looks so worried that it makes Y/n’s heart ache. “I can’t believe I actually hurt you.”
“Sana, you didn’t do anything.” Y/n says. “I get bruises all the time. I promise.”
Sana says something Y/n doesn’t catch and when she turns around to ask she sees Sana kneeling down behind her. “What —”
“Turn around.” Sana places her hands on Y/n’s waist and gently motions for her to turn back around. Y/n doesn’t know if she likes where this is going but she does as she’s told, and before she can ask what Sana’s doing she feels her press a kiss against one of the bruises.
Y/n freezes a little, her skin prickling. “What are you doing?”
“I’m kissing it better.”
“You don’t have to—” Y/n starts, but Sana presses another kiss into her skin and she cuts herself off, holding her breath while she waits for Sana to stop.
But Sana doesn’t really stop; she just hesitates for a second after kissing all three bruises and then she just continues pressing her lips against Y/n’s skin, over her spine. They’re just soft kisses, gentle and warm, but something about the situation makes them seem so much more intimate.
Y/n’s eyes close on their own and she hopes Sana can’t see how her skin starts to prickle with goosebumps but she probably does, because the moment a shudder runs down Y/n’s spine Sana pulls away.
“Do you want me to stop?” Sana breath is right against the bottom of Y/n’s spine, so close and hot and Y/n has no idea where this is going.
“No.” Y/n says before she starts overthinking. “Keep going.”
Sana’s grip on Y/n’s hips tighten and when her lips are on Y/n’s skin again, the kisses are different; it’s like there’s an intention behind them and Y/n thinks Sana’s intention is to make Y/n pass out or something, because she starts peppering her skin with kisses until Y/n’s gut starts feeling tingly and hot.
Y/n gathers the little courage she has in her body before she slowly turns around, Sana’s hands falling from her hips. She looks down at her where Sana is still kneeling on the ground, her face dangerously close to what so far has been off limits to anyone that wasn’t Y/n’s own hands.
Sana stands up and they look each other in the eyes, Y/n’s heartbeat feeling like it’s counting down something and before Y/n can try to speak Sana steps into her space, cups her face and kisses the words right off her lips.
The room feels so warm, the air around them weighing down on Y/n; everything’s so hot and heavy that Y/n can’t really breathe, can’t really think of anything else but Sana’s mouth and her arms around Y/n’s waist.
It’s the most skin on skin contact Y/n’s ever had, and it’s almost too much but she— she really doesn’t want it to stop.
She pulls away from the kiss to catch her breath, and she feels Sana’s heavy exhales puff against her lips before Sana moves to her neck, the way she did yesterday night.
Y/n is too damn sensitive, and when Sana softly suckles on the skin she gives a full body shudder. Sana kisses her there as if to calm her down and then she’s pressing Y/n up against the closet, careful of her bruises.
She pulls their bodies flush together, and Y/n tries not to freak out over the fact that their hips are pressed together, and that this is actually happening. Sana gently bites into her skin, her teeth sinking into Y/n’s shoulder and Y/n’s hips buck into Sana’s on their own at the feeling.
“Y/n can we—” Sana starts when things start getting a little frantic and desperate, and her voice suddenly sounds so much deeper. “If you want to stop you should tell me now.”
“N-No” Y/n feels confused but more than that she feels— she feels almost a bit needy for Sana’s touch and her lips and the way her body is caging her in. “Don’t stop.”
Sana comes up to face her and Y/n bites down on her lip when she sees the look in Sana’s eyes; they seem darker and full of want and unmistakable lust, something Y/n has never had directed at her.
She looks confused and Y/n gets it; this isn’t exactly what she must’ve prepared herself for after Y/n practically told her she might not be interested in sex last night.
Sana pulls Y/n away from the closet and has her pressed down against the bed only moments later. She kneels down on the mattress and reaches a hand behind her neck, pulling her shirt off in one swift moment.
Y/n silently watches her, her chest heaving because of her nerves and how good Sana looks. She’s seen her shirtless before but not in this context.
Definitely not in this context.
Sana gives Y/n a smile because she can’t stop ogling her like a creep, and then she shuffles forward, gently parting Y/n’s legs so she can move between them. She does this slowly, her muscles flexing beneath her golden skin and Y/n just can’t look away.
She’s never seen anything more beautiful than Sana.
Y/n makes a weird noise when Sana moves one of her hands down to grip Y/n’s thigh, gripping it almost a little possessively.
“What?” Sana asks.
“Nothing.” Y/n assures her, but her voice shakes. She knows she’s too old to be this nervous about something as simple as sex, but she feels like a complete virgin.
She is a virgin, and Y/n can’t help but think about the fact that Sana stopped being one years ago, back in high school where she did all those things with her best friend, and with many other people after that as well.
“Don’t” Sana whispers. “Don’t overthink this. If you don’t like it we can stop anytime you want.”
“I’m sorry.” Y/n says, like a knee-jerk reaction. She doesn’t even know what she’s apologizing for.
Sana furrows her eyebrows, looking confused and like Y/n’s words pain her. Her eyes are searching Y/n’s, and it feels like Sana’s trying to see through her walls, like she’s trying to find out what exactly Y/n is hiding that makes her act the way she does.
And Y/n really can’t have that, so she quickly pulls Sana down to press their lips together.
She closes her eyes when Sana runs her tongue over her bottom lip. She didn’t realize Sana was holding up her own weight until she shifts and lowers herself, their hips slotting together.
Y/n sucks in a breath and pulls away from the kiss, her lips parting against Sana’s, unmoving for a moment.
“You’re hard.” Sana whispers, sounding a little confused but mostly surprised and excited. She has Y/n caged in, holding herself up on her forearms, their noses touching and breaths mixing between their lips.
“I’m… aware.”
“Am I still okay to go on?”
“Y-Yeah.”
Sana hesitatingly presses her hips down, and she does this until Y/n’s loins start burning in the best way possible, her stomach heating up and thighs tingling. Y/n bites down on her lip so hard the skin turns white, too scared of making any sounds. Sana doesn’t seem to approve, and it only drives her on more, trying to get those sounds to leave Y/n’s mouth by massaging Y/n’s lips open with her own.
She succeeds, and Y/n barely has time to be embarrassed about the whimper leaving her mouth.
It isn’t like the feeling on its own is new. Y/n knows how it feels, she knows what this kind of pleasure feels like, but not when it’s another causing those feelings.
But then again, this is Sana. It’s Sana’s scent around her, it’s her body pressing down on her, warm and heavy, Sana’s soft exhales against her ear.
Sana is an exception in every way possible.
It’s all running so smoothly, but of course whatever higher power controls these kinds of things wouldn’t ever allow things in Y/n’s life to do something ridiculous like running smoothly.
That higher power sends her little sister barging into the room.
“Y/n I’m ba—AAAH oh my god!”
Y/n knees Sana in her crotch in her haste to get her off, and as if that wasn’t already enough she ends up knocking Sana from the bed. She throws her a pillow so Sana can cover herself and ends up whacking her in the face with it. Y/n is practically beating Sana up, what the fuck—
“What’s going on?” Lisa suddenly appears behind Chaeyoung, wearing a confused expression that quickly turns into one of great satisfaction once she makes sense of the entire situation.
Y/n looks at her sister who looks so red in the face Y/n fears she might either pass out or have another asthma attack.
Then she looks at Lisa who might just be seconds away from taking a Snapchat to send it to their friends.
And she briefly glances at Sana who is sitting on the floor with a pained expression on her face.
“I’m so sorry for interrupting.” Her best friend sends them a smug smirk, and her eyes – very slowly – travel south to Y/n’s underwear. She arches an eyebrow at Y/n who cups her hands around the front of her underwear. “Please continue.”
Sana suddenly gets up to throw a pillow on Y/n’s lap, trying to shield her from Lisa’s eyes. “Stop staring.”
Y/n glances at Sana and in any other situation, she would’ve laughed at the rather endearing glare Sana sends in Lisa’s direction.
“She’s my best friend, Sana.” Lisa rolls her eyes. “It’s nothing I haven’t seen before.”
Chaeyoung, who’s been standing there in silence so far, awkwardly clears her throat and points her thumb behind her back, slowly backing out of the room. “I’ll just… uhm, go and bleach my eyes or something.”
Y/n wants the ground to swallow her up whole.
-
“So if you’re not asexual” Lisa tilts her head, her eyes narrowed as she watches Y/n struggling to get the cream whipper in her hand to work. “What are you, Y/l/n Y/n?”
Y/n doesn’t even bother looking up at her, trying to unscrew the lid of the can again to see what on earth is preventing the cream from coming out. Lisa hasn’t stopped teasing her about that incident ever since it happened two days ago, so Y/n is trying to give her the cold shoulder.
Jihyo sighs from where she’s sitting next to Lisa at the counter, calmly sipping on her milkshake with her eyes focused on Y/n. “Don’t be so dramatic, Lisa.”
“I’m not dramatic.” Lisa turns to face her. “I just want to help her understand herself better.”
“Never asked for your help.” Y/n quietly says, like she’s repeating herself for the umpteenth time. She screws the lid back on and presses the handle of the whipper down, causing something inside to click.
The whipped cream practically explodes, all over the counter and on Y/n’s apron. She stares at the mess for a few seconds, her friends both bursting into laughter in front of her simultaneously.
Y/n really hopes no one but the two of them saw that happen.
She starts cleaning up the mess, looking up to glare at her friends because they’re still kind of wheezing from laughter.
“Oh come on, Y/n/n. That was fucking hilarious!”
Y/n drops her serious act and gives Lisa an embarrassed look. “I bet it looked really stupid.”
“Looked like something really dirty, actually.” Jihyo chuckles, her smile widening when Y/n rolls her eyes at her.
“Lisa can’t relate.” Y/n mumbles as she cleans the white streaks from her arms.
“Hey!” Lisa gives them both an affronted look when Jihyo laughs, clearly amused. “Look at her, she got the D once and now she’s—”
“I didn’t!” Y/n hisses. “And my boss is here, tone it down.”
“This is fun. You two are like a bunch of high schoolers.” Jihyo snorts, taking the lid of her milkshake off so she can lick at the whipped cream on top.
“Anyway,” Lisa says. “Let’s continue talking about you and Sana doing the dirty in Chaeyoung’s bed—”
“It’s my bed” Y/n leans over the counter so quickly her best friend nearly falls from her chair in her haste to save her own life. “And we didn’t do anything.”
“But you wanted to, and that’s exactly the point. I don’t get it.” Lisa sighs after sitting up properly again. “You were so confused about this whole asexuality thing, and now you’re just shrugging it off like it’s not important?”
“I’m not shrugging anything off.” Y/n takes the dirty towels over to the sink to rinse them off. “I’m just confused, okay?”
“Yeah well, luckily we have this very reliable source to turn to in these situations. They’ve never let us down before.” Lisa pulls out her phone as she speaks.
“Who are you talking about?” Jihyo wants to know, wearing an amused expression.
“Almighty google.” Lisa looks at her screen for a moment, a frown appearing on her face. “I have no idea what to search.”
“Give that to me.” Jihyo snatches the phone out of Lisa’s hands, starting to type away on the touchscreen once it’s in her hands. “Does demisexuality say something to you?” She asks after looking at the phone for a few moments, looking up at Y/n to show her that the question was directed at her.
“Uhm. No? Should it?”
“I’ve never heard of it, so I guess not.” Jihyo shrugs. “Alright, so apparently demisexuality is somewhere on the ace-spectrum. It says demisexuality is a sexual orientation where you feel sexual attraction only to someone you have an emotional bond with.” She looks up at Y/n again, raising an eyebrow. “Does that seem about right?”
Y/n stands there like an idiot, a dripping towel in her hand, taking in the new information. “Maybe.”
Jihyo smiles and gives Lisa her phone back. “Well then, congrats. Now you know.”
Lisa is gaping, and so is Y/n.
“Are there actually labels for everything these days?” Lisa asks. “Like, I don’t mean to be offensive but come on.”
“Nah, it might seem stupid to you, but some people actually need to know those things in order to identify themselves. Helps you understand your body and your mind a lot better. Nothing wrong with that.” Jihyo shrugs and sips on her strawberry milkshake again.
“I guess so.” Lisa mumbles after a beat of silence, sounding slightly embarrassed. “Hey Y/n/n, I’m really sorry I was such an insensitive fuck.”
“As expected of you bisexuals.” Jihyo sighs, ignoring the glare she gets from Lisa.
“That’s discriminating, Y/n.”
“What did you just say?”
“I said you were being discriminating.”
“No, I wasn’t. That’s not even possible.”
“I don’t care. I feel discriminated.”
“Sit your bisexual offended ass back down before I show you my ugly side.” Jihyo blinks at her, completely serious.
Y/n laughs at them, finally remembering to throw the towel away. She gets them to stop bickering like two little kids and Lisa pouts, apologizing to her again. “I’m not mad at you, Lisa. I wouldn’t know what I was doing with my life if it wasn’t for you guys.” She gives them both what she hopes is a thankful smile, and feels her chest warm up when both her friends give her warm smiles in return.
She thought she’d feel a lot better if she knew more about her sexuality, but she doesn’t feel all that different. If anything, it feels like she’s been trying to force a label on herself.
Sure, it’s extremely nice and comforting to know that there are people out there that might actually feel just like Y/n. That she isn’t as abnormal as she thought she was. And things make more sense now as well; why she couldn’t get it up with that one girl that she made out with at that party, or why she could never imagine herself doing anything sexual with anyone, no matter how attractive they were.
But Sana told her to screw labels, and apparently, Y/n has lately started taking Sana’s words to heart without even realizing it.
Y/n is just Y/n at the end of the day, and she thinks that’s all that matters.
----