Jihyo might’ve not understood why on earth Y/n would pick an old, shabby bookshop as a place for their first date. And yeah, it makes sense, Y/n gets it; it’s not very romantic at all, you can’t talk much, and it smells of old books and mould in there.
That’s why Y/n was worried about asking Sana about it in the first place. Sana once told her that she’s never read an actual book in her life before. The only ones she’s read were school books or the ones they were forced to read back in high school, and even those she just skimmed through or looked up their summaries on the internet.
So Sana doesn’t like books all that much, and maybe taking her to a goddamn bookstore was one of the worst ideas in Y/n’s life.
But it’s something like Y/n’s safe place.
And this date with Sana scares her. A lot.
So she thought being somewhere she felt comfortable with would calm down her anxiety about this whole thing.
The bookstore is like the barbecue place they went to weeks ago; a hole in the wall place, barely visible for people who don’t know about the store’s existence.
It resembles Sana’s workplace in a way; it’s dark inside, but it’s a warm kind of darkness, and even though the place is quite packed with rows and rows full of bookshelves as well as tables for people to either study there or read, it’s a thousand times more inspiring than the public libraries at their universities.
Y/n’s best assignments were written in here, and the ones that flopped miserably were written next to a noisy medical student who stuck his chewing gums underneath the table, thinking no one saw him.
Y/n saw him, and she judged him, but it’s because of him that she started looking for another place to study, so maybe she should be thankful for him effrontery.
Sana is already there when Y/n arrives, and just the sight of her back, her curved waist and her long legs has Y/n’s heart beating faster and her stomach doing stupid summersaults.
She takes a deep breath and approaches her, tapping her on the shoulder to make her turn around. Sana does, looking confused for a second, but then her features soften. They melt into the warmest smile Y/n has ever been given, and it takes her a lot of effort not to do something stupid, like maybe cry.
“Have you been waiting for long?” Y/n asks, feeling a bit warm in the face when Sana won’t stop smiling at her.
“No, I just arrived.” Sana assures her. She bites her lower lip, looking like an excited school kid. “You look good.”
The statement takes Y/n by surprise, because she really doesn’t, and she’s about to tell Sana as much, but then she remembers that this is a date, and that it’s probably a normal thing to say to your date when you see them.
“Thank you.” She answers. “You too.”
“You’re wearing your glasses again.” Sana points at them, a teasing glint in her eyes. “For me?”
Y/n scoffs and pushes past her to open the door. “My eyes were hurting. Don’t flatter yourself.”
Sana snickers behind her and follows her into the bookstore. Y/n greets the man behind the front desk and he greets her back with a warm smile, the smile growing bigger once he sees Sana trailing after Y/n like a puppy.
“I don’t feel like I belong here.” Sana whispers, and Y/n can’t stop the smile spreading on her face when she notices that Sana is actually holding on to the hem of Y/n’s shirt, like she might get lost if she lets go.
“Why?”
“Because this is a place for people who appreciate books.” Sana sighs. “And I don’t. And I think the books know. They’re judging me.”
Y/n is relieved to find that her usual spot is free, at the very back of the store behind the last bookshelf is a couch and a coffee table. Most people prefer higher tables and actual chairs when they’re studying, but Y/n’s back starts aching when she sits in that position for too long so she’s usually found with the laptop on her lap and her feet on the coffee table, which is probably not so appropriate but no one ever comes to back anyway so no one’s ever witnessed her criminal acts so far.
“They’re books, Sana.” Y/n scoots over on the couch so Sana can sit down next to her. “They have no feelings.”
“Hey, not so loud.” Sana shushes her. “They might hear you.”
Y/n shakes her head, trying not to give Sana the satisfaction of having made her laugh. Sana turns on the couch so she’s facing Y/n, and they’re sitting quite close together as it is so when Y/n slowly turns to mirror her, their knees end up touching.
Turns out Sana sneaked in some food despite it not being allowed in the bookshop but like Y/n said; no one ever comes to the back, so while they eat the food, the woman at the front desk is none the wiser.
And while they eat the chocolate and talk about how school is going and how the uncle keeps giving Sana more work than a single person could ever possibly handle, Y/n suddenly realizes that she knows close to nothing about Sana’s family.
The only thing she knows is that Sana has a younger sister, and that they own two dogs, and that her family is very loving and caring, which is why Sana is so attached to all of them.
“Would you tell me more about your family if I asked?” Y/n asks while Sana is stuffing her mouth with Maltesers.
“My family?”
Y/n shrugs, feeling a bit uneasy now about having asked. “I mean… only if you want to.”
Sana chews on the chocolate, a strange look appearing on her face, and once she has swallowed the food she reaches into her bag and takes her phone out. She scoots closer until their faces are only a breath apart, and Y/n instantly feels the warmth radiating from Sana’s body.
It’s a nice way to describe Sana. Warm. She’s a warm person, inside and out.
“Don’t be nervous about asking me that kind of stuff.” Sana looks up at her. “It makes me happy when you want to know things about me.”
“It does?” Y/n meets her gaze and for a second she thinks Sana is going to kiss her judging by the look in her eyes, but she doesn’t. Instead she nods her head and looks back down at her phone. And Y/n pretends she isn’t disappointed about it.
“My parents.” She says and turns her phone, revealing a picture of two middle-aged people. The woman has a kind face, soft eyes and a gentle nose. The father might as well be Sana in twenty years but in a female body.
She tells Sana as much and it makes her laugh. “I hear that every time. You should see our baby pictures, we look like the same person.”
“Your mom is beautiful.” Y/n says, and she remembers her conversation with Chaeyoung and thinks about her own mom, and she thinks that lately she can’t decide whether she’s the bigger disappointment as a daughter or if she has failed her as a mom.
To make things worse, she wonders how it would be to have a mom like Sana’s. A strong woman who’s always there for you and she instantly feels like crying for even thinking such a thing.
“She is.” Sana hums and when Y/n looks up from the phone screen she can the love in the Sana’s eyes and it makes her chest ache, because she doesn’t think she’s ever looked at her mom with that kind of emotion. “She’s a stay at home mom. At least for now. My dad and her own a cake shop. I used to eat cakes every day when I was little.”
“I bet you were a chubby kid.”
“Oh hell yes.” Sana laughs a bit nervously. “I was the victim of many bullies up until high school.”
“Wait” Y/n’s smile falters. “Are you serious?”
Sana shrugs. “You know how kids are. And I was a really easy target. I never fought back.”
“You should’ve.” Y/n feels angry just thinking about it, especially since she knows it so well from Chaeyoung who used to get bullied too. “I would’ve fought them.”
“I don’t doubt that.” Sana laughs after a moment of just staring at Y/n. “Jisoo told me all about it, how you beat those guys up that night.”
“I got my ass kicked, Sana.” Y/n snorts. “It was pathetic.”
“Yeah... I still want to rip their balls off for that.”
Y/n remembers the night Sana came over to check up on her, and how much Y/n already liked Sana back then and how she couldn’t have ever imagined to be at this point only a few months later.
Y/n suddenly blurts and her face feels like the sun is burning down on it. “Back then. When you… when you came over. I think that was when… I mean— when I realized that I felt different about you.”
Sana opens her mouth and closes it again a few times before she speaks. “You’ve liked me for that long?”
“Yes.”
“But you were so— you kept pushing me away. Everyone kept telling me to give up because it looked like you hated me.”
Y/n shrugs. “I was scared, and it was easier to push you away than… I don’t know. Accept my feelings.”
“You really made me suffer.” Sana furrows her eyebrows. “No one’s ever done that to me.”
Y/n doesn’t know what to say, and she’s not sure if Sana’s angry and if Y/n should apologize or not.
“But it’s fine” Sana says before Y/n can open her mouth. “I’ve never liked a person as much as I like you. So it was all worth it.”
“How can you just say stuff like that?” Y/n manages to ask despite the warm feeling spreading through her body.
“You mean being honest?”
“I mean… being so straightforward. Aren’t you, like, scared people will take advantage of it?”
Sana shakes her head. “I’d rather let you know how I feel about you instead of regretting not doing it.” She pauses and pops another chocolate piece into her mouth. “I think you should always let people know how you feel about them. Nothing good ever comes out of keeping it to yourself.”
Y/n gives her a weak smile and nods her head, saying that she’ll keep it in mind, and she knows that what Sana is saying is true but more than that she knows that she’ll never be able to open up to others the way Sana does.
“What about your sister?” Y/n changes the subject. “You always mention her but I don’t really know anything about her.”
Sana licks her lips, and after a moment of hesitation, swipes to the right to reveal a picture of her squeezing a little girl to her side. It looks like she’s suffocating in her hold but she’s laughing and Sana’s eyes are small crescents from how hard she’s smiling.
But that’s not what gets Y/n’s attention.
It’s the girl’s hair.
Or… the lack of.
Y/n feels her heart drop to the pit of her stomach, the worst thoughts coming to her mind at the sight, and she can’t even bring herself to look at Sana again.
“She’s—” She starts, but she doesn’t know what to say. “Is she—”
“Oh.” Sana quickly shakes her head, giving Y/n a concerned look. “Don’t worry, she’s not.”
“What?”
“She’s not sick.” Sana chuckles nervously. “I mean, she doesn’t have cancer. Thank god.”
“Oh god.” Y/n closes her eyes. “I thought…”
“I’m sorry.” Sana suddenly touches her cheek, a gentle and fleeting touch. “I should’ve told you before.”
“So… I mean, her hair…” Y/n doesn’t know how to ask without sounding rude or ignorant. She’s honestly just curious as to why she doesn’t have any hair.
Sana snickers and shakes her head. “Don’t ask me. One day I came home for Christmas and she was bald. Said something about girl empowerment and how she wants to prove that girls don’t need long hair to be pretty and stuff.”
“How old is she again?” Y/n smiles.
“She’s twelve.” Sana deadpans. “I mean, I guess it’s good that she’s passionate about it, but she’s into so many things lately. She turned vegan when she was nine. Nine. My mom nearly had a heart attack.”
Y/n laughs at Sana’s puzzlement. “She sounds… like a handful.”
“Oh trust me, she is. Whoever’s going to marry her should do it at their own risk.” Sana sighs. “But I mean… she’s great. In her own way. She would really like you.”
“I think I might be too boring for her.”
“No, she likes good people. People who have a kind heart.” Sana nudges her knee into Y/n’s. “Like you do.”
Y/n would deny that instantly, but there’s something off about Sana’s tone, and Y/n doesn’t know why but she thinks the way Sana seemed a bit down lately, like back at the shop when she asked Y/n to hold her, might have something to do with this.
“Sana… is everything okay with your family?” Y/n asks, a bit uncertain, because she might be wrong entirely. “They’re all okay, right?”
“Yeah, they’re fine.” Sana assures her. “But enough about them now.”
“Why?” Y/n frowns. “Something’s obviously wrong.”
“Uh, let’s not talk about bad things on our first date.”
“But you’re sad.” Y/n gulps. “I can tell.”
“I’m not sad. I’m never sad around you, Y/n.” Sana tilts her head in such an adorable way that Y/n nearly misses what she’s trying to do; how subtly she’s trying to change the subject. Sana sees the way Y/n’s eyes harden and she lets go of another sigh. “Look, I promise I’ll tell you some other time. I can’t tell you without it turning into a dramatic story, and I’ve had enough of that lately.”
“Promise?”
“Of course.” Sana smiles. “Don’t look at me like that. It’s not about my family, just life being a bitch.”
Oh, Y/n knows that feeling all too well. “Okay… but let me know if there’s anything I can do for you.”
“You could just go on a second date with me after today?”
Sana sounds genuinely nervous and Y/n just nods her head. “Of course.”
“Of… course.”
“Yeah.”
“Huh?” Sana gulps nervously. “Are you just joking? W-Why did that answer come so easily?”
“Well, I like you. Who else would I want to go on a date with?”
Sana blinks at her and Y/n can actually see how her ears start turning red. She makes a weird noise and hides her face in Y/n’s shoulder, squirming around until Y/n almost topples over.
She has no idea what the hell just happened to Sana, but it takes her almost an entire Minute to push her off and two more minutes for Sana’s face to stop resembling an overripe tomato.
She asks Sana about it, but Sana acts like nothing happened, so Y/n reluctantly shrugs it off as Sana being weird again, like she was when she attacked Y/n with a hug when they were reading comics in her room.
“You know” Sana starts after they’ve been through the entire bag of Maltesers, and she just magically pulls out an entire bag of lollipops, letting Y/n chose one and smirking like an idiot when Y/n obviously goes for the watermelon one. “When you got angry at me at the cinema, and you told me that I was trying to woo you…”
Y/n nod her head with the lollipop stuck in her mouth. “Yeah?”
“You were… kind of right about that. About how I thought you would come around. That I thought I could win you over.” Sana shakes her head before Y/n has time to react to her words. “At least that’s how I felt in the exact moment you said no. But then I got to know you and I realized I didn’t want to win you over, like, I just… I hoped you would feel the same way sometime. And I know I was an ass most of the time, you know, teasing you and all that like a middle schooler. So I guess what I’m trying to do is, you know, apologize.”
Y/n chuckles. “You were really annoying sometimes.”
“Yeah.” Sana rubs at her nape, looking like she’s trying not to cringe at the memory so Y/n decides that – since this is their first date, and since she really wants to make Sana happy for once – she’ll help her out.
“But you were… really cute, too.” She mumbles, staring at her lap as she says it. “And charming. In a way.”
“Charming, huh?” Sana smirks and Y/n reaches out to pinch the muscle between her shoulders and her neck, making her squirm in pain.
“Every time I try to compliment you, you make me regret it instantly.”
“I’m sorry. I’m just nervous.”
“Nervous?”
“Because this is our first date. And I don’t want to screw it up.”
Y/n gives her a curious look, feeling surprised by Sana’s words. “You’ve been on plenty of dates before, right? There’s no need to be nervous. It’s just me.”
Sana sighs and she carefully touches their hands together, the tips of their fingers starting to play with the others’ like they’ve done so many times before. And it still feels too intimate, because this is Minatozaki Sana, and she’s touching Y/n because she wants to touch her, and it still sends tingles all the way up her arms. “Y/n, you really don’t get it, do you?
Y/n doesn’t. And maybe she doesn’t want to get it, because it feels like the meaning behind Sana’s words go way beyond the feelings of a simple crush, or superficial adoration.
“You have kind of chubby fingers.” Y/n doesn’t know what to say or how to change the subject, so she settles for an insult, that isn’t even true because Sana’s fingers are beautiful, like everything else about her. From the little mole on her neck to her crooked front teeth.
So much for trying to make Sana happy.
Sana blinks at her, and then she starts pouting, and Y/n swears she feels her heart swell in size in her chest, throbbing and shouting at Y/n to open her eyes because this person in front of her is one of a kind.
Y/n presses her lollipop against Sana’s lips to make the pout go away, and it does the job. Sana licks over her mouth and winks at her. “We just indirectly kissed.”
“Sometimes I think you’re a ten-year-old trapped in an adult’s body.”
“Yeah, I worry about that too.” Sana’s eyes trail lower until they get stuck on Y/n’s mouth. “I wonder…”
She waits for Sana to continue but she doesn’t. “You wonder?”
“How sour apple and watermelon taste together.”
Y/n furrows her eyebrows in confusion and holds her lollipop back against Sana’s mouth. “So take a lick of both.”
“God…” Sana smiles and gently lowers Y/n’s hand, guiding it back to her own mouth instead. “That’s not what I meant.”
“I don’t get it.”
Sana looks like she either wants to laugh or cry but she doesn’t get the chance to do either because she moves and the bag of candies in her lap drops to the floor. They roll over the floor, and it’s too damn loud in the otherwise completely silent store.
“Sana—” Y/n hisses quietly when Sana grabs the bag and rustles it around with no care in the world. “We’re going to get kicked out.”
“Relax, we won’t.”
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