We had only played a couple hands of Go-Fish before our eyes began drooping and we were trying not to pass out, so we made the wise decision to call it a night after that. Even after getting close to 10 hours of sleep, we were either yawning, had our eyes closed, were resting our heads against our arms on the kitchen table, or still passed out. I was at the table covering my yawn, Gabriel and Tony were resting their foreheads against their arms on either side of me, Brandon was across from me with his eyes closed resting his cheek in his palm, Corey was yawning beside him as he looked off to the side, and Max and Tony were still passed out in the mess of blankets and pillows in the living room.
The only odd one, was Tyler. I watched him hum a tune as he alternated between cooking eggs and bacon. I squinted at him, "How does anyone have that much energy in the morning?"
Corey glanced over his shoulder before looking at me, "Coffee. He's been addicted since his mom gave him a cup the morning of our fifth-grade exam."
I hummed, noticing Tyler's already happy smile grow.
"My veins run with the caffeine infused liquid." He smiled, handing me and Corey a piece of bacon before continuing with his cooking. He started humming the same tune again. It was as I broke my crispy piece of bacon into four pieces that I recognized it was 'I Will Always Love You'. I watched him for a moment.
That was his mom's favorite song. I can remember her singing it to him and I every time we had a sleepover. I assumed she sang it to him every night since he joined her sometimes.
I heard him mumble some of the lyrics as I poked Brandon's wrist. His eyelashes fluttered briefly before he looked at me, drowsy without a doubt. I held the small piece of bacon out to him with a small smile. I glanced at Corey as I waited for Brandon to take it, he gave me a sheepish smile as he swallowed what was left of his piece. I rolled my eyes. I looked back at Brandon and raised an eyebrow. He shook his head, then closed his eyes again. I shook my head, leaned forward, and squeezed the piece between his lips. He ate it without opening his eyes or acknowledging it in any other way.
With a shake of my head, I nudged Gabriel. He turned his head and peeked an eye open at me. I smiled as I held the small piece of bacon out in front of his lips. He glanced down as he took it between his teeth. His lips brushed my fingers as he moved back. I stared at him as he closed his eye again and took the same position he was in before. He just..
Swallowing and pushing that out of my head for now, I turned to Tony and nudged him. His head was already turned towards me, so he just squinted at me. I tilted my head with a smile, holding his piece of my bacon out for him. He opened his mouth and stared at me.
I swallowed once more and glanced at Corey. He had closed his eyes and was in an almost identical position as his brother beside him. I looked back down at Tony and quickly dropped the bacon on his tongue. He smirked as he closed his eyes, chewing away at the small piece.
My lips pressed together as I looked at him. Last night I had discarded what he said so I wouldn't get consumed in what it meant, but as I look at him, smirking slightly with his blonde hair a mess and a gentle sense of calm coming off him, I can't help but hear his words replay.
"I can't be the only one who finds her attractive!"
"I can't be the only one who finds her attractive!"
My eyes trailed to his cheeks. His cheeks started turning pink after he said that.. With a quiet sigh, I faced forward and set my chin in my palm as the corners of my lips tilted down. Why'd he have to say that?
"What's with the long face?"
"Hmm?" I met Brandon's eyes and shrugged, "Just thinking."
"Mmm," He hummed, "if it's making you frown, then it's probably not worth thinking about first thing in the morning."
My eyebrows furrowed, "It's almost 11 though."
He shrugged, closing his eyes, "Same difference."
I raised an eyebrow, about to tell him there wasn't, when I caught Corey shaking his head. My eyebrows furrowed once more. He mouthed 'No' as he continued shaking his head. Before I could ask what he meant, Tyler placed a plate in front of me. It was full of eggs, bacon, and two surprisingly toasted Eggo waffles. I looked up at him, surprised.
"Lady's first." He winked before going back to the stove.
"Thank you!" I gave him a smile as I spoke a bit too loud. He flashed me a smile before turning away. I subconsciously licked my lips as I picked up my butter knife and fork.
"Hmp, I wonder how he toasted it." I jumped, looking over my shoulder at Max as he grabbed one of the waffles. I watched him take a bite before I realized he was eating my Eggo waffle.
My voice sounded sad as I spoke, "But that was mine.."
"You can have it back." He held the already bitten waffle in front of me.
I cringed at how he had basically crushed it with his fist after taking just a couple bites. I turned back to my plate, "I'm good, thanks."
"Kay." He plopped into the chair beside Brandon before stealing a piece of my bacon.
I glared at his hand but ignored it. When his hand came close to my plate again though, I switched my glare from his hand to his face. He paused, his eyebrows rising. I pointed my fork at him as I continued to glare, "If you steal anymore of my food, you're gonna find this fork pinning your hand to the table."
His hand shot back and he held it against his chest, looking at me with wide eyes.
"Thank you." I smiled as I heard muffled laughter and several snorts. I ate the rest of my food in peace without any more thefts. To say the culinary classes Tyler's taking weren't paying off would be a bold face lie. I made him promise me that when he has his own restaurant that I would be able to taste-test everything and have a forever good discount.
...
Tyler had a hard time starting his truck, but once it started- after a holler of joy from him -we all got in the vehicles and left for my home sweet home. I rode in Tyler's truck with the man himself and Tony. One of my favorite songs came on- 'Pizzazz' by Akintoye -and I couldn't help but sing along. "Are you okay? Like really? I'm fine. If I'ma be sad, I'ma do it with pizzazz!"
Not missing a beat, both boys joined in, "And shake these feelings off my ass!"
We wore matching grins as we belted out the lyrics, "They'll find me in some glitter if I crash! Do it wit' pizzazz!"
None of us had the voice of an angel, but song after song we got lost in the fun of it. Laughing when one of our voices cracked, hollering when one of us actually sang a line decently, and cheering each other on when one of us decided to do a solo. The three 'T's together again in this ridiculous moment when we let all worries of embarrassment fly out the window and embrace the chaos and simple joy of the moment with wide open arms. Of course, I'm the only one aware of it.
Far too soon we were pulling on to my street. The radio was loud but even that couldn't muffle the sound of the engine starting to sputter and it definitely couldn't hide the smoke starting to wisp out from under the hood.
"Crap." It stalled just short of the front of the Wests' house. He took out the keys and gave me a weak smile, it looked forced, "At least it stalled after we got here, right?"
"Tough shit, man." Tony had a yikes look as he watched the smoke.
I patted Tyler's shoulder and offered my best comforting smile, "At least now you get to hang out with me longer, don't tell me you planned this?" My smile turned into a teasing one by the time I finished speaking.
He chuckled, "Sadly, I can't take credit for this. It all goes to this old piece of metal." He patted the dashboard before he got out. We followed him to the hood and each of us waved our hands in front of our faces when he popped it open. He began looking at it as the rest of the boys came over.
As they crowded around us, I backed out. "I'm gonna go let Mary know what's happened, okay?" 'Yeah' and 'Okay' rang out before I started for the Wests' door.
I heard laughter and looked over my shoulder. All of them had the biggest smiles as Tyler shook his head, his back facing me. The scene caused a smile of my own. One I couldn't get rid of even after knocking on the Wests' front door or after opening it a couple seconds later.
"Hello? Anyone home?" I pursed my lips as I looked around from my spot by the door. Hearing voices, I followed them to the kitchen. I walked in with a smile as I spoke, "We're back, Tyler's truck is... Dad?"
My eyebrows furrowed as I watched my dad turn around from talking with Mary and Mark around the island. His entire face lit up with his smile and the softness around his eyes cemented that he truly was my father.
"Tilly!" He walked towards me with open arms and squeezed me in a hug. All I could manage was patting his back as I stared wide-eyed at Mary and Mark. Mark crossed his arms when he saw me and Mary looked away. I tried to swallow but the sudden dryness of my throat made it painful.
I cleared my throat and pulled away from my dad. I couldn't meet his eyes as I spoke, "You know I don't like to be called that anymore."
The tired sigh that came from him caused me to glance at him. He closed his eyes for a split second as a gentle smile pulled his lips. When his eyes opened, he looked at me as if I was the most fragile thing in the world, "I know you don't, but I'm your father and the one who gave you that nickname, so I get a pass."
"Dad-"
"-No. And don't think Mary hasn't filled me in, so me calling you Tilly isn't the worst of your problems right now." The hard look that overtook his soft smile threw me, and the tone of his voice had my head dropping and my shoulders sagging. It's amazing how quickly I felt like a little kid again, trying to make myself as small as possible, as if that would somehow help me.
"Tilly?"
My heart spiked as my head snapped to look over my shoulder. Corey held the kitchen door open, his eyes locked on me. I felt frozen. Corey looked frozen. It was hot outside but the chill of the AC caused goosebumps to spread across my arms. The moment felt frozen, but in an instant it was shattered.
"Are you Tilly?" I felt lightheaded as he stared at me, then his eyes shot to my dad and his eyes hardened. He started nodding as a chuckle escaped him. "I see, I see.." When he looked at me my heart ached and tears stung my eyes. He shook his head and stomped out.
I felt glued to my spot. Then everything came crashing down and I ran after him, "Corey! Corey! COREY! COREY! PLEASE! COREY!"
He was already halfway down his driveway when I reached him. I grabbed his wrist and he flung my hand off immediately. I stopped, shocked as the first tear rolled down my cheek. He held his wrist close to his chest as he looked at me with what I could only interpret as hatred, "Don't touch me."
My lips trembled, "Corey, I-"
"-Your sorry?" He tilted his head at me, a scoff escaping him when I didn't open my mouth. "You really think sorry's gonna fix anything?" My lips wouldn't part. He began laughing, his eyes looking as glossy as fragile glass, "Wow! Just fucking wow! God! I fucking trusted you!" He turned away as he rubbed his face roughly.
"Woah!" Tony grabbed his shoulder, "Corey, calm down. Why are you-"
"-Calm down? Calm down?" He began laughing again, a wide smile splitting his lips as he looked at his friend. "You want me to calm down?"
Tony hesitated before he nodded slowly, "Yeah.."
"Do you know who this fucking is?" Corey's smile didn't slip as he pointed at me. I felt sweat roll down my temple as I stared at him.
Tony glanced at me with furrowed eyebrows before looking back at his somewhat hysterical best friend, "Lyllith?"
"Yes! That's her name, of course it is, she told us her name was Lyllith." He had a sarcastic duh look as he tapped his head.
"Corey.. you okay, man?" Tony looked at him with worry, and by this point the rest of the boys were paying attention.
I swallowed, taking a step forward as I reached out my hand, "Corey, please let me exp-"
"Don't touch me! I told you not to touch me." He smacked my hand away and glared at me, his nostrils flaring.
"Woah!"
"Hey!"
"Corey!"
"Dude!"
"Stop!"
"The hell!"
Multiple shouts rang out and I heard them getting closer. All it did was make all the strength I had crumble. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" I wrapped my arms around my head as I backed away, my tears showing in my voice, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorr-"
"-Why the hell would I accept?" I flinched as Corey took a step forward.
Max, being the closest to Corey, put his hand out to block him from moving closer and gave him a hard look, "Watch it."
"We trusted you, and you lied. You are a liar. I thought it was weird how you whispered you shouldn't have lied to us before you passed out," He lowered Max's hand and continued towards me. Max let him go, his eyes staring at me. All of their eyes were locked on me. I squeezed my eyes shut, my body shaking. "Come to find out, the friend I opened up to is the same one I opened up about."
"Corey, what are you trying to say?"
He laughed, making a show of presenting me to them, "Allow me to introduce- no, re-introduce -Tilly!" They were still, their eyes drilling into me. "Isn't it great? A big ol' reunion!"
I couldn't breathe, and somehow, I managed to say his name in the most pitiful way possible, "Corey.."
"What?" He tilted his head to meet my eyes. I resisted the urge to look away. "What do you have to say? You can't deny it anymore, you're a mess! A mess of shame and guilt. And don't lie, because you'll only be making a fool of yourself."
No one spoke, but my heart pounded in my head. I looked at the other boys and sob, my arms wrapping around my stomach. "I'm sorry."
"I liked you." Corey sniffed, his gaze downcast. "I thought your nervousness around us was cute. How you'd try to not touch us or talk too much. How you'd get stuck in your head sometimes. Or how you'd look at me like you knew me." He wiped the tears that had escaped his eyes and glared at me, "I just had everything twisted. It's a mistake I won't make again." My chest rose and fell rapidly as I watched him shake his head and wave his hand like he couldn't be bothered.
He started walking away and I couldn't help reaching out to him, but before I touched him, I stopped. I looked at the others the best I could. They were blurry, but I could still make out the look of betrayal, disbelief, and blankness. A new wave of sobs took over me as I clutched my chest. I squeezed my eyes shut for a moment, a quiet sob escaping me, before I booked it for my house.
Nobody stopped me. Nobody reached out for me. Nobody called out to me. Nobody did anything.
I didn't stop running, not when my mom jumped and called after me, not when I almost tripped on the steps, not until my door was locked and I was a crumbled mess on the floor. I gasped, breath escaping me. My eyes hurt, my throat hurt, my chest hurt, and my lungs screamed in pain. My head felt like it was full of air, every little movement made me feel woozy and on the verge of throwing up. I stared at the glow-in-the-dark stickers on my ceiling, the image fuzzy. A new wave of tears took the breath I had caught, and with it, everything went black.
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