Kenji: Bad things keep happening to me, like I have bad luck or something.
Katsuki: Kenji, you don't have bad luck. The reason bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass.
==
*Izuku and Katsuki sitting in jail together*
Katsuki: So who should we call?
Izuku: I'd call Kenji, but I feel safer in jail
==
Kenji: I'm kind of crushing on someone, but I'm worried about telling you who it is, because you're not going to like it
Izuku: Just rip the bandage off.
Kenji: It's Katsuki.
Izuku: Put the bandage back on.
==
Kenji: Here's some advice
Izuku: I didn't ask for any
Kenji: Too bad. I'm stuck here with my thoughts and you're the only one who talks to me
==
Kenji: I know you snuck out last night, Kirishima.
Mina: Play dumb!
Kirishima: Who's Kirishima?
Mina: NOT THAT DUMB!!!
==
Mina: Why are your tongues purple?
Katsuki: We had slushies. I had a blue one.
Kenji: I had a red one.
Mina: oh
Mina:
Mina: OH
Kirishima:
Kirishima: You drank each other's slushies?
==
Kenji: I just ended a four year relationship.
Kirishima: Oh, I'm so sorry. Are you okay?
Kenji: Hm? Oh yeah, I'm fine. It wasn't my relationship.
*Izuku and Katsuki fighting from across the room*
==
Kenji: If you had to choose between Kirishima and all the money I have in my wallet, which would you choose?
Izuku: That depends, how much money are we taking about?
Kirishima: Izuku!
Kenji: 63 cents.
Izuku: I'll take the money.
Kirishima: IZUKU!!!
==
Kenji: Come on, I wasn't that drunk last night.
Kirishima: You were flirting with Katsuki.
Kenji: So what? They're my partner.
Kirishima: You asked them if they were single.
Kenji:
Kirishima: And then you cried when they said they weren't.
==
Mina: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Kirishima?
Kirishima: ... No.
Kenji: I do!
Mina: I know, Kenji.
Kenji: I'm sad!
Mina: I know, Kenji.
==
Katsuki: I am in charge of this disaster!
Kenji: I have a name, you know
==
Katsuki, Entering Kenji's room: Izuku did it again.
Kenji: Peace disturbance?
Katsuki: What no-
Kenji: Arson..?
Katsuki: NO, JESUS CHRIST, HOW MANY-
Kenji: uh....Attempted murder?
Katsuki: NO, THEY ATE ALL THE FOOD IN THE FRIDGE, BUT WHAT THE FU-
==
Katsuki: WHO ATE MY FUCKING BREAD?!
Katsuki: I'M GOING TO FUCKING K-
Kenji: I did?
Katsuki: Kiss you and buy some more, you haven't been eating anything today Kenji.
*walking away*
Kenji:
Kenji: They're gone Izuku.
Izuku, coming out the closet with bread stuffed in their mouth: Twankh uh!
==
Katsuki, in a room with Izuku, Kirishima, and Kenji: It's calm in here.
Katsuki: It scares me...
==
Izuku: I'm cold.
Kirishima: Here, take my hoodie.
*meanwhile*
Katsuki: I'm cold.
Kenji: I can't control the weather, Katsuki.
==
Katsuki: We call that a traumatic experience.
Katsuki, turning to Kenji: Not a "bruh moment".
Katsuki, turning to Kirishima: Not "sadge".
Katsuki, turning to Izuku: And DEFINITELY not an "oof LMAO".
==
Katsuki: I just want someone to take me out.
Kirishima: On a date?
Izuku: With a sniper gun?
Kenji: Both if you're not a coward.
==
Izuku: What's up with Kenji? They've been laying on the floor for like....an hour now?
Kirishima: They're just a little overwhelmed.
Izuku: Why?
Kirishima: Katsuki smiled at them.
==
Kirishima, watching Izuku and Katsuki fight: Are you sure they should be fighting? What if they get hurt?
Kenji, not bothered by the chaos: It's fine. They're too evenly matched to hurt each other.
Kirishima: Then... who's the strongest out of you three?
Izuku: Kenji.
Katsuki: Kenji.
Kenji: Me.
==
Uraraka: Could you guys at least try to see this from my perspective?
Kenji: *crouches down*
Izuku: *kneels down*
Iida: *sits on the floor*
Uraraka:
Uraraka: I hate all of you.
==
Kenji: What's the most efficient way to burn calories?
Izuku: Exercise more!
Uraraka: Set yourself on fire.
Iida: There are two kinds of people
==
Izuku: You guys worried about Uraraka?
Iida: Totally!
Kenji: Yeah, they called me in the middle of the night and just yelled, "what do I do, what do I do, what do I do, what do I do?"
Izuku: And what'd you say?
Kenji: "I dunno, I dunno, I dunno, I dunno."
Iida:
Izuku: They're lucky to have you as a friend.
==
Kenji: Why do you act like we're three year olds?
Iida, exasperated: WHY?!?
Iida points at Uraraka: YOU TRIED TO HYJACK A CAR!
Iida points at Izuku: YOU NEARLY JUMPED 20 FEET OFF A CARPARK!
Iida points at Kenji: AND YOU ATE MULTIPLE DRIED LEAVES AND ROCKS OFF THE GROUND!
Iida: AND YOU ASK ME WHY????
==
Uraraka: In your opinion, what is the height of stupidity?
Iida, turning to Kenji: How tall are you?
==
Uraraka: I dare you to kiss the next person who walks into this room.
Izuku: Screw that, I'm not kissing any of you.
*Kenji walks in*
Izuku: Fine, I'll do it. Rules are rules you know.
==
Kirishima: I want to be with you for the rest of my life.
Izuku: Damn, that sounds like a marriage proposal.
Kirishima, getting down on one knee: That's 'cause it is.
==
Kenji: The salary of a clown is 51,000 dollars.
Kenji, gesturing to Mina and Kirishima fighting: And yet these idiots do it daily, and for free!