Y/n doesn’t like to brag but if there’s one thing she’s good at besides being a sorry excuse of a daughter, it’s video games.
She doesn’t lose. Ever.
And Lisa – being the competitive little shit she is – never gives up on her dream of beating Y/n at Call of Duty one day.
So that’s why they’re sitting in Y/n’s living room on a boring afternoon a few days later, trying to kill off each other on the screen with some greasy potato chips and a shared bottle of sticky iced tea sitting between them.
For some reason, Y/n can’t really keep her head in the game. She keeps having near-death experiences and her kills are less than impressive unlike how they usually are. After the fourth time Lisa manages to get a good shot at Y/n, her best friend starts growing suspicious and gives her an amused glance.
“What’s up with you today? You’re playing like crap.”
Y/n pauses the game and stares at the screen for a few seconds until Lisa nudges her thigh with her foot.
“What’s up with you?” She asks. “Why’d you stop the game?”
“Do you know someone who’s asexual?”
Lisa furrows her eyebrows in confusion. “Asexual? As in someone who can’t get that up?”
“No.” Y/n feels mad at Lisa’s words when she knows she shouldn’t. She doesn’t think she would’ve probably understood what the term meant a month ago if Jihyo didn’t make her go look it up on google. “As in someone who isn’t like... you know, interested in sex.”
“Wait, people like that actually exist?” Lisa gawks. “But— it’s sex. How can you not like it?”
Y/n shrugs uneasily. This doesn’t go unnoticed by her best friend, who immediately turns more serious.
“Is there something you wanna tell me?”
“No. I don’t think so.”
“You don’t think so?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, what brought this on then?” Lisa asks. “You’re not asking me about asexuality out of the blue, are you?”
“I don’t know why I asked. Let’s just play.” Y/n unpauses the game only for Lisa to pause it again with her own controller.
“Y/n/n, stop for a second.” Lisa sighs and turns to face her properly. “Are you… you think you’re that?”
Y/n stays silent for a while before she meets Lisa’s eyes. “I don’t know why else I’ve never had the desire to… you know.”
Lisa stays silent for a while, like she’s trying to grasp the idea of that possibility. “Well, I mean, I know you don’t sleep around and stuff but I thought that’s just because you’re one of those people who only have sex in relationships. And considering you’ve never been in a relationship I figured that’s why. But asexual? Isn’t that a bit, you know, far-fetched?”
“Why would it be far-fetched? I never once thought about having sex with someone. That’s not fucking normal at my age.”
“I mean, if you feel that way that’s totally cool, Y/n/n. I swear, whatever floats your boat but— but I feel like this is one of those don’t knock it till you try it-situations.”
Y/n gives Lisa a wary look. “You’re saying I should have sex.”
“That’s exactly what I’m saying. You need to get laid before you jump to any conclusions.” Lisa nods her head encouragingly. “If you don’t like it then you know for sure.”
“You don’t get it. I don’t even feel like doing it.” Y/n pulls a pained face at her own words. A normal girl shouldn’t be saying something like that.
“That’s because you don’t have someone you feel comfortable enough with to try it out.” Lisa shrugs. “I mean, I’d do it with you but I’m not into dick and I don’t think Jisoo would appreciate it all that much—”
“Shut up.” Y/n kicks Lisa’s leg with her foot, making her friend topple over with an amused laugh.
“Stop being such a prude Y/n/n. We’re in college. People do the do all the fucking time.”
“Yeah, I’m sure your mom would be really proud of you if she knew.” Y/n snorts at the flash of horror on Lisa’s face.
“Times have changed. Do you really think they don’t know what kids these days are up to?” Lisa sounds a lot like she’s trying to reassure herself. “Do you think they don’t know what the DVD bangs are actually used for?”
Y/n scoffs, remembering all the times Lisa’s told her about her and her girlfriends going to a movie room to do things that had very little to do with actually watching a movie before she had her own apartment.
“Just don’t get too much with it and you should be fine.”
“Uh, yeah, I don’t think that’s a concern.” Lisa has a weird look on her face that makes Y/n raise her eyebrows at her.
“What do you mean?”
“What do you think I mean?”
“You guys aren’t… doing it?”
Lisa shakes her head. “Jisoo is still a virgin.”
“Uhm.” Y/n clears her throat. “I don’t feel like I should know that.”
“I tell you everything, it’s fine.” Lisa rolls her eyes.
“Does she want to wait until marriage?”
“No, it’s not that. She says she was waiting for the right person to do it with.”
“But you’re the right person.” Y/n frowns. “You love each other, don’t you?”
“Yeah, but that’s it.” Lisa bites at her lip. “I really don’t want to screw it up with her. I’ve never felt like this about anyone before.”
“So you’re scared.”
“Yeah. I don’t know. I feel like I’m going to taint her or something. Does that sound stupid?”
Y/n chuckles. “A bit.” She sighs and places the controller on the floor. “Lisa, come on. You’re not going to taint her. That’s like saying she’ll be worth less once she’s not a virgin anymore.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“Yeah, but it sounded like it. She loves you and you love her; just do what feels right.”
“There’s another problem.” Lisa snorts. “Sana’s watching her like a hawk. I feel like she’ll rip my head off if I touch her like that.”
This makes Y/n pause for a while, especially because she’s worried Lisa might’ve caught the nervous flicker of Y/n’s eyes at the mention of Sana’s name.
Her best friend doesn’t know about the things that have been happening between her and Sana. Y/n doesn’t know why she hasn’t told her yet, but it’s like there’s been an unspoken agreement that Sana and Y/n aren’t going to tell their friends about it.
“She’s old enough to make her own decisions.” Y/n finally focuses on the conversation again.
“Jisoo says she’s just looking out for her. Since she doesn’t have a brother and all. I mean, I’m glad she cares for her but fucking hell, that girl knows how to be a cockblocker.”
Y/n smiles and she almost slips. She almost says Don’t worry, I’ll talk to her.
And then she’s a bit terrified that that was her first reaction, like she’s in a place to talk to Sana and get her to stop being so overprotective.
The way you would if you were in a relationship with someone.
“Sana couldn’t harm anyone.” She chuckles nervously.
Lisa looks up and smirks. “Yeah, you would know about that, wouldn’t you?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I don’t know. You tell me.”
Y/n blinks at her, the room feeling a lot smaller all of a sudden. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Yeah, when do you ever.” Lisa rolls her eyes and picks up her controller again. “Whatever. You should consider her though, you know.”
They resume the game and Y/n tries to focus on it as best as she can. “Consider her for what?”
“For the sex thing.” Lisa mumbles, her tongue sticking out as she tries to use a quick scope to kill Y/n in the game. “I’m sure she’d be more than willing to help.”
Y/n dies the second Lisa finishes talking.
And while Lisa is doing a ridiculous celebratory dance for beating Y/n at Call of Duty for the first time, Y/n is too busy staring off into space to care about her defeat.
She suddenly feels really, really hot.
-
Y/n and Sana mostly only talk via text messages. Sure, Sana drops by the coffee shop some mornings but the visits are short and the words they exchange very held back due to Nayeon’s eyes on them and the fact that Y/n doesn’t have much time to chat since she’s supposed to be working.
And Y/n doesn’t want to be at the spectacle shop too much either, not wanting to be a nuisance to the grumpy uncle and to Sana who is always busy working on different models of specs that have to be finished by the time the customers come to pick them up.
When they go out on the weekends, it’s with the rest of their friends, and their interactions are restricted to short glances and hidden touches of their hands here and there.
It gets frustrating but Y/n knows she isn’t in a place to complain.
It’s all her fault to begin with, so all of this must be ten times more annoying for Sana.
All of this results in Y/n thinking about Sana more than she can deal with. She thinks about kissing her while serving a customer, and she thinks about Sana giving her that smile while she’s writing an exam.
And she doesn’t know if Sana feels the same or if Y/n is alone with her emotions.
She could just ask Sana, but she’s Y/l/n Y/n so she can’t.
-
Sana calls her one evening when Y/n is at the library, trying to get some very necessary studying done. Y/n waits for the call to be over before she picks up her phone and texts her.
To Sana:
I’m at the library, can’t talk. <
What is it? <
From Sana:
When are you leaving?
I want to see you
Y/n pauses, throwing away the urge to collect her things because she wants to see Sana right away.
To Sana:
In about half an hour <
From Sana:
Wait for me outside.
I’ll pick you up
She has never struggled so much in memorizing the notes on her flash cards like she does in those following thirty minutes.
-
True to her words, Sana is waiting on the other side of the road across the campus. She’s sitting in her car, face tilted downwards and illuminated by what has to be her phone.
Y/n crosses the street and knocks on the window, which makes Sana jump, her phone slipping from her fingers. Y/n chuckles at her clumsiness and Sana breaks out into a cute smile.
“Hi.” Sana says when Y/n climbs into the passenger seat a moment later.
“Hey.” Y/n looks up at her after putting her seatbelt on, her lips automatically stretching into a smile at how Sana is looking at her.
“Here, this is for you.” Sana hands her a pack of something before she drives off.
“Energy gums?” Y/n reads the label of the pack in her hands, giving Sana’s side profile a curious look.
“Because you always stay up so late studying.” Sana explains, shrugging her shoulders. “You don’t like coffee and all those energy drinks aren’t healthy for you.”
Y/n stares at her for a moment, a bit taken aback by Sana’s thoughtfulness. “You didn’t have to.”
“I wanted to.” Sana glances at her, chuckling at Y/n’s expression. “They’re just gums.”
But they’re not just gums, that’s the thing. Y/n clears her throat and looks away, slipping the package into her backpack.
“Thank you.” She says, willing the weird feeling in her chest to go away.
“Don’t mention it.” Sana glances at her again and Y/n can feel her eyes scanning Y/n’s face.
“Watch the road, Sana.” She says, her voice firm but her insides feeling warm.
Sana does but there’s a smile playing on her lips. “I’m sorry.”
Y/n turns her head away to hide her smile. They fall into silence and Y/n watches the darkness outside, not many people roaming around since it’s a working day tomorrow and it’s already pretty late.
“Where are we going?” She asks when she notices that Sana is leaving the city.
“There’s something I need to take care of. Momo usually helps me but she’s with Eunji tonight.” Sana says. “It won’t take long.”
“What is it?”
“Don’t worry about it.” Sana says but she has a weird smirk on her face and Y/n thinks she should probably worry about it a lot, but she decides to drop it for now.
“What song is that?” She asks instead, trying to figure out if the tunes seem familiar to her.
“It’s called All we know.”
Y/n has never heard of that song. “Are you a secret hipster?”
“Hm.” Sana bites her lip but it can’t hide the smile underneath. “Maybe. Or maybe you’ve just been sleeping under a rock.”
“Yeah. Maybe.”
They talk about mindless things for most of the ride; Sana complains about school and Momo not having time for her anymore ever since she got back together with Eunji. Y/n tells Sana about strange customers she’s had at the café and Sana spends a good minute laughing about it. Y/n doesn’t mind; Sana laughing is a very nice sound, it sounds like it comes straight out of Sana’s heart and her eyes turn into small crescents.
She looks so happy that Y/n doesn’t really care about anything else in that moment.
-
They’ve been driving for about fifteen minutes when Sana suddenly pulls the car over to the side of the street.
They’re practically in the middle of nowhere, right next to a cornfield.
It’s silent for a few seconds after Sana turns the engine off.
“Is this where you murder me?”
Sana laughs. “Get in the driver’s seat and wait here for me.”
“What?” Y/n watches Sana unbuckle her seatbelt and does the same, mainly to hold the younger back from leaving the car. “Don’t fucking leave me here next to a creepy cornfield!”
“Look, it’ll only take three minutes. Just be ready to drive away when I get back.”
“Sana what—”
But Sana doesn’t listen. She just gives Y/n a smirk and climbs out of the car and then she disappears into the night.
Y/n has a really bad feeling about this. She can’t see anything around her and she nervously starts humming a happy tune to herself, climbing over the gear shift between the seats to sit in the driver’s seat like Sana told her to.
It’s way too silent and Y/n has seen one too many horror movies where the protagonists run off into cornfields only to get brutally murdered by a damn scarecrow—
“Nope.” She turns the key once to make the lights and the radio of the car turn back on and relaxes a bit when one of Sana’s indie songs fills the silence in the car.
Sana doesn’t come back after three minutes and Y/n grows genuinely worried, thinking about going out there to look for her when the passenger door suddenly gets ripped open. She nearly jumps out of her skin, cursing loudly when Sana jumps into the passenger seat, panting heavily.
“Go!” She urges Y/n. “Y/n, fucking go!” She sounds a bit hysterical but she’s also laughing and Y/n simply does as she’s told, stepping on the gas pedal and driving off.
“Sana, what the hell?” Y/n looks at Sana once they’re away from the cornfield. Sana is still breathing a bit heavily but she’s smiling like everything’s okay, like she didn’t just pull a weird action movie stunt on Y/n. “Are those cherries?”
“Yeah, want some?”
“No!” Y/n huffs incredulously. “Did you steal them? Is that what you were doing?”
“Yes.”
“Why?!”
“Because that farmer deserved it.” Sana shrugs and pulls off her beanie, her hair sticking out in every direction. She looks absolutely stupid but to Y/n she’s still the most beautiful person she’s ever seen.
“You’re crazy. You could get arrested, you know that, right?”
“It’s fine. He didn’t see me.”
“Sana, farmers around here carry freaking rifles with them! What if he shot you?”
Sana laughs. “Y/n, you’re being dramatic. I’m fine. I’m a pro at this.”
“Don’t tell me you do this regularly.”
“Me and Momo do this every week.”
“You’re crazy.” Y/n repeats, shaking her head when Sana smirks and turns up the volume of the music.
“Maybe.”
----