7 signs you’re crushing on someone.
Y/n’s palms are sweating as She sits in front of her laptop on the floor of her bedroom.
It’s dark, her face only illuminated by the screen.
After trying to fall asleep for two hours without success, her mind being too much of a mess to calm down and her stomach in knots because She’s going to see the source of her distress tomorrow night again, Y/n decided to put an end to this.
She’s being ridiculous. There’s just no way Y/n’s fears are justified. She’s just confused; that’s all.
So what if She’s googling “how to tell if you have a crush” at one o’clock in the morning… that doesn’t mean anything.
She sighs and opens the link, her eyes flickering over the words.
“One: You find yourself counting down until you see each other again.” She reads.
That’s a no. It’s the exact opposite, actually. Y/n dreads the moments She knows She’ll come face to face with Sana again.
Well, so far so good.
“Two: You think about them a lot.” Y/n leans back against her bed, a frown etching itself on her face. She wouldn’t say She thinks about Sana much; more than that, She just worries about their weird interactions and the girl’s intentions with Y/n.
“Three: You primp before you see them.”
What the hell? No.
“Four: You wonder what they think of you.”
Y/n swallows nervously. She… doesn’t. (She fucking does. Next.)
“Five: You think they are wonderful.”
What kind of generalized statement is that? She’s never thought of Sana being wonderful. The closest thing Y/n can come up with is her being slightly overwhelmed by how good Sana is treating her sister. Other than that, Sana mostly just makes her snort because She’s being an idiot who sends Y/n pictures of literally everything She finds remotely fascinating, like last week when Sana cut a grape in half and it ended up looking like a smiley face (Y/n honestly thinks Sana is a puppy disguised as a college kid).
“Six: You get nervous before you see them.” Y/n reads out loud, and She immediately feels something weird in the pit of her stomach. She gulps and scrolls down some more.
“Seven: You secretly hope they will ask you out.”
Well, that’s already happened, right? Sana asked her out; Y/n rejected her. And no, She does not want Sana to ask her out again. Absolutely not.
She really just wants all these confusing feelings to go far away from her and never come back.
Y/n shuts her laptop and slides back into her bed.
That did not help at all.
She doesn’t have a crush. She’s never been interested in a person like that and even if Sana does make her feel a certain way, She’s not about to start now.
-
Chaeyoung is staying over at Tzuyu’s place for the weekend. Y/n can’t take her to Jihyo’s birthday because of all the asthma triggers, so it’s convenient that the girls were planning on studying together for exams.
“Do you have your puffer?”
“Yes, mom.” Chaeyoung rolls her eyes, starts chuckling at the frown She receives from Y/n. “I’m not leaving the country so stop worrying.”
“I’m not worried. If something happens to you it’s my fault and I don’t want to deal with that.” Y/n shrugs her shoulders. That’s a lie; She’s definitely worried.
(She may have secretly checked Chaeyoung’s backpack to make sure her sister actually remembered to pack her toothbrush and vitamins as well.)
Chaeyoung sighs, nodding her head. “I’ll get going then.”
“Text me when you get there,” Y/n says, pressing her lips together when Chaeyoung raises her eyebrows at her.
“Sure you’re not worried?” Her sister snorts.
“I’m not.”
Chaeyoung shakes her head and puts her shoes on. “Bye, Y/n. Say hi to everyone for me, okay?”
“Yeah.” She opens the door and they look at each other for an awkward moment, and Chaeyoung looks like She wants to hug Y/n but She seems to think better of it. “Hey, Chaeyoung—”
Chaeyoung turns around, giving her an expectant look. “Yeah?”
Y/n clears her throat. “Be careful.”
This makes Chaeyoung smile at her, like She sees right through Y/n’s act. “Sure thing.”
-
Y/n takes longer to get ready for tonight than other times, changes her shirt three times and styles her hair more than she usually does before she remembers Three: You primp before you see them.
She freezes in front of the mirror, her fingers stilling where they’re running through her hair.
Just why is She trying to look good? It’s not like She’s trying to impress anyone—
She’s not.
Y/n quickly gets rid of her hairstyle, trying to get the products out by ruffling through it. She also discards her fancy shirt and puts on a simple grey one Lisa’s going to give her the stink eye for again, but She doesn’t care.
She also makes sure to leave her glasses at home, despite having run out of contact lenses once again.
-
When Sana said the restaurant was a hole in the wall place, She definitely wasn’t lying. If it wasn’t for the light up sign hanging over the entrance of the place, you would not be able to tell that this is a place where you can eat.
“Well. This looks nice,” Jisoo whispers as they stand in front of it. She’s standing between Y/n and Lisa, her fingers laced together with the latter.
They made things official a few days ago. Y/n is happy for Lisa, She really is. Jisoo is an amazing girl, intelligent, kind, calm enough to keep Lisa grounded but not afraid to open her mouth about certain things.
But Y/n’s back to being the third wheel, and even if She should be used to feeling like an intruder whenever Lisa has a new girlfriend and they do something together, it never stops being awkward.
-
It’s cozy Inside, dimly lit with a few colourful light up signs hanging on the walls. There are like, only six tables, but it’s packed, smells heavily of sizzling meat with actual trot songs playing in the background, a few tipsy men singing along.
Jihyo waves them over to the back of the restaurant where they’ve pushed together two tables to fit them all in. Y/n only recognises Suga, figuring the guy with the bleached hair and the two other girls must be friends from Jihyo’s school.
“Nayeon couldn’t make it, huh?” Jihyo asks after giving her a hug.
“Yeah, her grandma got sick so she went back home,” Y/n says, awkwardly introducing herself to the others before she sits down.
She definitely isn’t wondering where a certain person is, and She definitely doesn’t feel her stomach flip violently when said person and Momo walk in only a moment later.
Sana is all bright smiles, her dark hair falling rather flawlessly and Y/n can’t help herself from noticing how one of Jihyo’s friends looks at Sana with something like approval, not even trying to hide it when she checks Sana out.
“Fucking hell, Sana, sit your ass down you just arrived!” Suga groans at the scene Sana’s arrival is causing, throwing an arm around the girl that introduced herself as Krystal before.
“Hey.” Momo smiles down at Y/n and Y/n somehow feels really glad for her presence, since Lisa is kind of busy with Jisoo. “You look good, Y/n.” She says as she sits down next to Y/n. Sana scoffs and sits down beside Momo, whispering something into her ear that Y/n doesn’t understand but it has Momo shrugging her shoulders with a satisfied smirk on her face.
Y/n doesn’t get it but she’s silently glad that Sana didn’t end up sitting next to her (especially because she starts feeling dizzy whenever she thinks about her being the reason for her concerning google search history yesterday night).
Jeongyeon and Seokmin arrive a while later when they’ve already ordered the food and drinks and Y/n is busy talking to Momo; She hasn’t ever had a long chat with her before and She’s surprised at how easy She is to talk to. Momo doesn’t make things awkward, her questions and answers are honest and She’s incredibly passionate when She starts talking about photography. She shows Y/n some pictures on her phone and it would be an understatement to say that She’s impressed.
“Momo, these are amazing.” Y/n knows She’s gaping, but She can’t stop scrolling through the photographs. They all have an eery, mysterious vibe to them and when Y/n mentions that, Momo nods her head with a smile, saying that it’s what She’s going for with the editing and lighting. It’s mostly pictures of architecture; buildings and empty streets in cities, but most of all there are portraits of people, taken in such a strikingly beautiful way that Y/n actually forgets to breathe for a second. She stops at a picture of a familiar face; sitting on a bed in front of a laptop, face only illuminated by its screen while the rest of the room is completely dark.
Sana looks tired here, dark circles under her eyes and her hair falling into her face in lazy strands; but She also looks, well, sort of ethereal.
“I can send you this one.”
Y/n looks up from the phone screen. “Huh?”
“You’ve been staring at it for almost a minute now.” Momo gives her an odd look, like She knows something Y/n doesn’t, and Y/n quickly hands her the phone back, her eyes flickering to Sana’s side profile for a short moment.
“They’re all good,” Y/n says and Momo huffs out a laugh, shaking her head.
“Hey, Sana.” Momo suddenly nudges said girl in the arm and grips her wrist. “Let’s switch seats. I need to talk to Seokmin.”
Sana gives her roommate a confused look, her eyes swiftly moving to Y/n’s before looking away again. “You can talk to him like this too.”
“No, I can’t. It’s secretive stuff. Now move your ass.”
“What—”
Within five seconds Momo has climbed over Sana’s lap and pushed her towards Y/n with more force than necessary. Sana grunts and swears under her breath, sitting upright again.
Y/n silently pops a piece of meat into her mouth, feeling more than just frustrated at how aware She suddenly is of every place Sana’s body is touching her. It’s just getting ridiculous, because Momo sat a lot closer just a moment ago and Y/n didn’t care one bit.
“Sorry. Looks like you’re stuck with me again,” Sana speaks.
Y/n gulps down the food and turns to look at her. “Did Chaeyoung tell you about her test today?”
Sana shakes her head. “No. I thought it didn’t go well because she didn’t text me so I didn’t want to ask.”
“No, it went great.” Y/n shrugs. “She must’ve forgotten because she was so excited.”
Sana’s face lights up at Y/n’s words, and some of the tension leaves Y/n’s body at that. “Really? Fuck, I’m so glad to hear that. I would’ve felt horrible if she failed again.”
“I think you’re doing a great job,” Y/n says, clearing her throat when Sana shifts a bit closer. “I mean. Chaeyoung only has good things to say about you.”
“Does She?”
“Yeah. She won’t shut up about you.” She must sound annoyed, because Sana chuckles sheepishly.
“I’m sorry.” She shrugs. “Don’t blame her though; it’s not her fault that I’m so charming.”
Y/n frowns at Sana but the smile tugging at her lips betrays her and Sana looks way too smug right now. “Shut up.”
“I didn’t say anything.”
“Your stupid smile says enough.”
“Stupid?” Sana holds her chest. “Y/n, you seriously need to stop hurting my heart.”
It’s clear what Sana’s referring to but before Y/n can open her mouth (or try to make out that look on Sana’s face, the same one She had when they ran into each other at the store) Jisoo reaches over to take Sana’s arm. Y/n reminds herself that she’s Sana’s cousin before she is Lisa’s girlfriend.
“Sorry for interrupting. This’ll only take a minute.” She gives Y/n a quick smile before gripping Sana’s arm a little tighter, her expression hardening. “Why the hell did you think it would be a good idea to cancel your date with him?”
“Jisoo, not this again—”
“You’ve been ignoring my text messages for two days now you idiot! I’m fuming, can’t you tell?”
“Oh, I thought that was the meat.”
“Sa—” She slaps Sana’s arm. “na!”
Y/n sighs and leans back against the wall, feeling slightly trapped between the cousins and also like She’s – once again – intruding. She can’t really escape right now, so She tries to tune their conversation out as best as She can.
“Can’t we talk about this later?”
“No. What you did was rude. He’s my friend, Sana, and now I feel like I set him up because you left him hanging.” Jisoo glares when Sana rolls her eyes.
“Something important came up. I apologized to Taeyong. He was cool about it, unlike other people.”
“Of course he’ll be cool about it! He’s been crushing on you since middle school! How do you think he felt when he finally asked you out and you agreed, then dropped him after that like it meant nothing?” Jisoo shakes her head at Sana and the latter has the decency to look embarrassed. Y/n tries not to smirk, but Sana looks like a child that’s being scolded and she’s honestly enjoying the sight. “Also what could’ve been so important for you to cancel your date?”
“I had to tutor a friend, okay? She had an important test and I couldn’t leave her hanging.”
Y/n blinks at Sana and the latter glances at her at the same time, a smile forming on her face when she sees how Y/n makes the connection.
Jisoo sighs. “Okay. I get that. But can you at least reschedule a date with him? Sana please. You didn’t see how heartbroken he was. I thought you liked him?”
Sana sighs. “Okay, just— stop. I’ll text him. Now get away, you’re being rude.”
Jisoo turns to look at Y/n with a timid smile. “I’m sorry Y/n, I didn’t mean to push you away—”
“No, it’s fine.” Y/n gives her a reassuring smile and she leans back into her own seat.
“You better not back out again.” Jisoo whispers, shooting a glare in Sana’s direction. “Or I’m telling auntie—”
“I won’t. Chill and eat your meat like a good girl.”
Jisoo’s left eyelid looks like it’s about to start twitching. “Do you remember how much it hurt when I stabbed you with a fork in your foot—”
“Jisoo, babe, calm down.” Lisa throws an arm around her and Sana immediately glares at it which only makes Lisa shoot her a satisfied smirk.
“Can you two not,” Y/n mumbles, sensing the tense air between Sana and Lisa as She quietly reaches for the rice bowl in front of her. Sana, for some reason, is incredibly protective over Jisoo and if Y/n didn’t know better She’d think Sana was her sister rather than just her cousin.
“Keep your hands to yourself, Lis,” Sana mutters and reluctantly turns to face the food in front of her when Y/n gives her a judging look for her macho behaviour.
“She’s my girlfriend. If she allows me to touch, I will touch.”
“Oh, really? And I will cut your neck off if you—”
“Girls. Behave,” Jihyo speaks up from the side, which surprisingly gets the both of them to shut up, like Jihyo has some kind of hold on them (which, to be honest, She probably does).
“Just so you know,” Sana says, preparing a salad wrap for herself. It takes Y/n a second to realize that She’s talking to her. “Chaeyoung talks about you a lot, too.”
Y/n’s eyes follow the movements of Sana’s fingers as the girl folds the meat into the lettuce. “She does?”
Sana nods and takes a bite from the wrap. “You must be an amazing sibling. She says you’re always there for her and that you’re strong. She really admires you.”
The words make Y/n furrow her eyebrows in confusion as She stares at the sizzling meat in front of them. “What?”
Sana stops chewing and talks through a mouthful, which Y/n should find disgusting but the only word popping up in her mind at the sight is “endearing” and that makes her want to slam her head into a wall. “Why are you looking like that? Don’t you two get along?”
“No. It’s not that.” Y/n looks up again, shrugging her shoulders. “I just… didn’t expect her to say that about me.”
Her and Chaeyoung do get along, that’s not really the problem. But it’s taken a huge toll on their relationship when Y/n left for college, when She basically left Chaeyoung alone to deal with their family’s problems. Everything got kind of messed up for Chaeyoung after that, the kids at high school picking on her for her asthma attacks once Y/n, her older sister, wasn’t there anymore to look out for her. Chaeyoung never said anything, She never once complained, but Y/n heard all of it from her mother and there was no way She wouldn’t feel guilty after that and blame herself for what happened.
She can’t understand why Chaeyoung would speak so highly of her despite all those things.
“Really?” Sana gulps down and gives Y/n a careful look. “Wait— Are you okay? You kinda look like you’re about to cry.” Her face falls. “D-Don’t cry. Uhm. Here, eat some meat.”
Sana picks up a piece of beef with her chopsticks and brings it up to Y/n’s mouth, nudging it against her lips.
And Y/n just—
She completely freezes.
She has no idea what’s happening, but She’s staring at Sana, wide-eyed and confused as the younger tries to feed her and her heart suddenly feels like it’s going to break; it’s aching and twisting and blurry images are popping up in Y/n’s head, of her eating rice with her hands because no one-
And then she is tearing up.
Sana looks horrified when She notices Y/n’s glassy eyes. “Y/n— shit, I’m sorry! I should just stay away from you— I didn’t mean to make you cry.” She starts to pull her hand back and Y/n moves to grip her wrist on instinct, keeping it close.
They look at each other like that, Sana looking worried and confused and Y/n trying to stop herself from choking up on those inexplicable tears welling up in her eyes. Sana carefully nudges the food against Y/n’s lips again and this time Y/n opens her mouth and lets the meat slip inside, her nose prickling when She starts chewing on it.
Sana takes a deep breath, her eyes mildly concerned as She watches Y/n eat. “Is it good?” She asks and Y/n honestly is just glad that Sana isn’t saying anything about Y/n nearly crying in front of her.
She feels embarrassed, stupid and confused at her own behaviour; She nearly cried, just because Sana tried to feed her. Y/n nods her head and blinks the wetness away, her face and neck feeling hot and her eyebrows furrowing in frustration.
Sana smiles. “You know, beef tastes amazing with honey. Have you tried it before?”
“No.”
“Try it!” Sana picks up another piece and dips it into a bowl in front of Momo, bringing it to Y/n’s lips again.
Y/n honestly doesn’t understand what’s happening to her; why her chest aches so much when She opens her mouth and lets Sana feed her again, why She feels so lost and vulnerable, or why She’s even letting Sana do this. “It’s nice.”
“Right?” Sana sits back, her eyes subtly flickering over Y/n’s face as if to make sure She doesn’t start crying again. “Are you… okay?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?” Y/n is good at tricking people, She knows that.
“You just— you almost cried.”
“Ah, no.” She shakes her head, giving Sana a casual smile. “It’s my contact lenses. My eyes sometimes get dry and they start watering, that’s all.”
Sana looks at her in silence for a few seconds, not looking as convinced as Y/n wants her to, but She thankfully doesn’t probe any further. “Those damn contact lenses, huh? You should stick with your glasses."
“Do you have some kind of kink? For glasses?” Y/n snorts and takes a sip from the liquor Jihyo poured her a moment ago. Yeah, She wasn’t planning on drinking tonight, but after what just happened, She doesn’t think She can make it through the next few hours sober without worrying herself to death about it.
“Nope. Just when they’re on your face.”
It reminds her of the night they met; when Y/n wouldn’t shut up about Sana’s teeth and Sana ended up asking her the same question, and Y/n ended up answering in the same manner. She thinks Sana must be reminded of it as well, because She’s smirking.
“You know, same way you feel about my teeth.” She pokes her tongue out and runs it over her upper left canine and Y/n tightens her grip on the glass in her hands at the sight.
“I was drunk when I said that.” She takes another sip.
“But you told me you meant it. At the club. Remember?”
“No.”
Sana huffs out a laugh, shaking her head. “You’re just in denial.”
“I was drunk, both those times. You can’t hold me accountable for the things I said.”
“Well, now you’re sober, and you still think I’m beautiful, and you still have a thing for my teeth.” She bites her lower lip for emphasis and Y/n actually has to peel her eyes from how the swell of her bottom lip turns white before returning to an even darker shade of pink than before.
“Believe what you want,” Y/n grunts and before She knows it, She’s already pouring herself another glass of liquor. This is all Sana’s fault. She wouldn’t have to get drunk if it wasn’t for her.
Sana snickers and when Y/n turns to glare at her, her smile softens, turns almost fond, and Y/n’s glare fades. “You know Y/n; you said I was confusing, but you have got to be the most confusing person I’ve ever met in my life.”
----