Y/n wakes up with the front of her shirt sticking to her chest uncomfortably. She shifts, groaning weakly whilst trying to figure out why on earth she feels so hot.
The sleep clouding her mind starts to fade little by little, and that's when she realizes that she's pressed up against something. Not something. Someone. There's an arm curled around her waist, a thigh pressed between her own, right up against her morning wood-
Her eyes shoot open Instantly once realization hits her like a bucket of ice water. She's staring straight at Sana's collarbones while said person is still snoring softly.
Y/n tries to push Sana away but the girl doesn't budge one bit. She reaches behind herself and grips Sana's wrist to try and untangle her arm from Y/n's back.
Sana decides not to play along. She grunts and swats Y/n's hand away in annoyance, pulling her even closer and shifting her thigh against Y/n.
Her entire face heats up because god- she's painfully hard right now and Sana pressing herself against her erection does not help. Y/n panics and pushes Sana a little too harshly by her chest. At least it gets the job done because Sana groans and blinks her eyes open with a confused look on her face.
"What the hell was that for?" Sana croaks and closes her eyes again.
"Do you mind?" Y/n tugs on Sana's arm, hoping that Sana is too sleepy to be aware of the... situation.
Sana sleepily blinks at her and when she feels Y/n shift her hips away, the sleep quickly fades from her eyes. Confusion turns into understanding, followed by an annoying smirk.
"Someone's a little excited." Y/n glares at her, finally managing to get Sana's arm off of her.
Sana chuckles, shrugging her shoulders carelessly. Y/n reaches out for her glasses to put them on her face. Meanwhile, Sana looks way too amused for her liking.
"How late is it?" Y/n asks, purposefully changing the subject and ignoring how they probably cuddled the entire night for them to wake up in that position.
She wonders If this is going to become a thing for them; ending up cuddling whenever they're drunk - or at least when Y/n is because she's pretty sure Sana was as good as sober last night.
It doesn't take a genius to figure out that it very likely will happen, because Y/n's the master of repetition, especially when it comes to mistakes.
She seriously needs to get a grip and if that means she won't be touching another drop of alcohol when Sana is around then so be it. She's had enough awkward encounters to last her a lifetime and it's barely been a month since they met.
Sana checks her phone and sits up, stretching her arms which makes her joints pop loudly. "A little past ten."
The apartment's still silent and when Y/n gets up she sees that the others are still asleep on the couch so she figures the rest haven't woken up yet either. She makes her way to the bathroom first, washing her face and peeing, which is quite hard (pun not intended).
Sana brushes past her when she gets out and Y/n tries to erase the image of her long, tanned legs from her mind as she makes her way to the kitchen.
"Do you want one too?" She asks when Sana joins her a while later, sitting down on the small table in the kitchen. Sana sleepily nods her head and Y/n fills a cup of coffee for the younger as well.
"Thank you," Sana mumbles when Y/n hands her the mug, taking a seat on the other side of the table.
It's raining outside; Y/n can faintly hear the raindrops pelting against the kitchen window. A car honks somewhere and another one passes with music blasting through its open windows. Y/n can't keep her leg still; it keeps bouncing up and down, the pads of her naked feet feeling cold from the tiles on the floor.
The silence between isn't necessarily uncomfortable. Y/n is glad that Sana isn't talking or teasing her about last night; it gives her some time to sort her own thoughts.
She can't quite understand why things are the way they are, why even the smallest amount of alcohol makes Y/n turn so... soft and clingy around Sana. Y/n knows she can't keep blaming their encounters on that. But it's just way easier - pretending she doesn't remember or that she didn't mean it - rather than actually trying to figure out what it is that makes Y/n feel so weird around Sana.
Y/n looks up from her coffee, meeting Sana's eyes who must've been watching her the whole time. "Why are you being so quiet?" She asks, starting to feel nervous under Sana's stare.
"You said I'm confusing," Sana answers. "I figured keeping my mouth shut would help."
It takes Y/n a moment to understand what Sana is talking about. "That's not what I meant."
Sana shrugs, smiling softly and Y/n tries to convince herself that it doesn't look cute. "Y/n."
"What?"
"At Lisa's party, on the fire escape," Sana speaks carefully and Y/n has a notion where this is going. "Why were you crying?"
Y/n blinks at her. "It was nothing."
"Did someone break your heart?" Sana asks and the tone of her voice makes Y/n's chest feel all tingly.
"No," Y/n scoffs.
"Then why?"
It's a bit of a reflex; lying about those kinds of things, and Y/n is about to do it again but the sincerity in Sana's eyes and something about the entire moment - them sitting here in Lisa's cold kitchen on a Sunday morning, sipping on bitter coffee with Sana's eyes still puffy from sleep - makes Y/n want to tell Sana the truth.
"It's just... family stuff." Y/n wraps her fingers around the mug in hopes of warming them up.
Sana nods her head slowly. "Did you manage to sort things out since then?"
Y/n stares at the black liquid in front of her - there's a crack in the ceramic of the rim that could potentially end up cutting someone's lip.
This is what the current situation looks like: Y/n feels completely overworked, she has money troubles, she runs on four hours of sleep almost every day, her mom's depression came back, her parents are practically fleeing to the countryside to stop things from taking a worse turn and her sister is going to live with Y/n in the meantime which will cause quite the problem in trying to cover up just how fucked up Y/n's lifestyle is.
"We're working on it." It's not a lie, at least.
She's tapping the tips of her fingers against her mug, almost in time with the rain outside when Sana speaks up again. "Sometimes it's good to talk about things, you know?" She shrugs. "I mean, I get you might not want to talk to me about it. And you have Lisa and others to talk to but just so you know; Jihyo is a really great listener. She gives amazing advice too. Maybe it's because she's a psychology major, but I promise she doesn't pull that therapist shit on you, like she genuinely cares and tries to help-" Sana hesitates and takes a deep breath and Y/n just stares at her with owlish eyes. "Uhm... If you need someone to talk to, you should talk to her, is what I'm trying to say."
Y/n blinks at Sana, taking in how her cheeks are suddenly tinged a darker shade than the rest of her face and she can't really stop the smile tugging at her lips. "I'll keep that in mind."
"Okay. Good." Sana clears her throat and Y/n wonders where the girl's confidence suddenly went.
They look at each other and Sana's mouth opens around words that never come out once a sleepy Jeongyeon waddle into the kitchen, demanding coffee.
-
It doesn't stop raining the entire day. And the day after, or the day after that. In fact, it keeps raining the entire week.
It's Thursday night, Y/n is still at the pretty much deserted coffee shop, drying the mug in her hands with a towel. She looks outside where she can hear the rain and spots a couple sprinting to their car to get away from the heavy downpour; the guy opens the door for her and Y/n sees her laughing at him before she gets in. She looks away again, pretending not to notice the pang of a reminder in her chest that it's something she will never experience.
She usually likes the rain, but right now it seems to reflect the state of her thoughts and emotions, and for the first time in a long while Y/n wishes for the sun to shine instead.
-
"Let's fake our deaths and start a new life somewhere no one knows us."
Y/n hums. "I heard Switzerland has great cheese."
"Sounds good to me." Lisa chuckles.
Friday night has them lying on the cold living room floor of Lisa's apartment, a pack of greasy chips between them and one single shared can of beer balanced on Lisa's stomach.
They were watching Guardians of the Galaxy before they gave up and opted for having yet another existential crisis instead.
"I want to quit," Lisa groans, throwing an arm over her eyes. "I can't take another fucking year of this descent into hell."
She's talking about college. Y/n just grunts in response, which means she agrees. She rubs at her eyes underneath her glasses and sighs deeply. The prospect of another year of sleepless nights, falling asleep with textbooks pressed into her face and her anxiety over finals slowly driving her insane isn't too inviting to her either.
"Suga did it." Lisa shrugs. "He didn't go to college at all and he owns a company now and earns more than my sorry ass ever will."
"He just got lucky," Y/n answers. "We'd end up living on the street and you know it."
"What about that Woozi guy?" Lisa tries again. "He dropped out of college and he's a number one music producer!"
"Yeah, but he's got talent and we've got nothing."
"Jesus." Her best friend props herself up on her elbows and frowns at Y/n. "You know how to make people feel like trash, don't you?"
"It's what I'm best at." Y/n closes her eyes just in time when Lisa throws a pillow into her face,
"When are you picking Chaeyoung up tomorrow?"
"In the morning," Y/n answers. "Mom and dad will be on the road the entire day so they have to leave early."
She's actually just here to pick up Lisa's car since Chaeyoung will have a lot of stuff to carry and it would be too much of a hassle to take the train or bus. Since Y/n doesn't have a car Lisa lets her use her own from time to time.
"What about money?" Lisa wears a more serious look on her face now; the one she gets when she knows they're touching upon sensitive subjects.
Y/n shrugs, turning to face the ceiling. "What about it?"
"Y/n/n, you can barely feed yourself, let alone another person on top of that."
"They've already transferred some money into my bank account." When Y/n checked it last night after her dad told her to look if the money arrived, she was more than just taken aback. It was too much money, enough for Y/n to buy groceries for a couple of months.
She told her dad as much, to which she only said that they can't know how long this situation is going to last.
"Oh, that's good then," Lisa sighs and rolls on her back again. "Dahyun's over the roof about Chaeyoung coming here. I'm sure she can get Chaeyoung out of your hair sometimes."
Y/n chuckles and shakes her head. "I think it'll be fine."
"You hate having people at your apartment."
"I don't hate it." Y/n rolls her eyes.
"You literally threw me out a month ago-"
"That's because you slept over for five consecutive days for no valid reason!"
"Meaning you hate having people over."
"It means being around you for so long is draining."
Lisa pounces on her and starts to wrestle her until Y/n cries out in pain after she accidentally stabs her elbow into Y/n's ribs.
"You've lost weight again." She frowns, her fingers prodding at Y/n's flat stomach.
"I'm fine," Y/n grunts, shoving her off as she sits up.
"Are you eating enough, Y/n/n? I'm being serious."
"I'm eating the same as always. Stop worrying." She sighs and gets up, dusting off her jeans. "I need to go."
"Send me a picture of your dinner you idiot!" Lisa shouts after her right before Y/n closes the door of her apartment.
She sends Lisa a picture of a bowl of fried rice with scrambled eggs and ketchup to which Lisa replies with a happy selfie using one of those stupid animal filters.
----