From: Clingy Lisa
Girl, u're coming right? O( ╥﹏╥ )o
To: Clingy Lisa
I'm on my way. Do you need
anything? <
Y/n grabs the bag with Lisa's present and checks herself in the mirror again.
She sighs tiredly, shaking her head at what she sees. The stupid glasses aren't making it any better but in the midst of all the stress caused by deadlines and exams, she didn't notice that she ran out of her daily contact lenses. She's practically blind without them so she doesn't really have another choice but stick to her glasses.
-
Y/n really shouldn't go to that party.
It's not like she doesn't want to make her best friend happy by showing up. Honestly, Y/n would do anything to see Lisa smile, no matter how much the girl gets on her nerves at times. But Lisa's invited a lot of people from her university that Y/n hasn't met before and that makes her nervous to say the least.
Because Y/n's just- Well, she's Y/n.
She's the girl that spent her entire summer break hidden in her apartment, reading a total of ten books within a week and watching every single season of Game of Thrones on a loop.
She's not easy to get close to, simply because she's so quiet and awkward and people tend to get scared off by her cool exterior. It's gotten better since she started college but well, she's still known as the awkward one whose jokes are bad enough to make you cry.
Meeting new people is the worst. It's mostly just them trying to make small talk and Y/n not knowing how to keep the conversation going and making things so awkward that the other person usually ends up leaving with a lame excuse like having to use the bathroom.
But Y/n has her group of friends and she thinks that's enough. They accept her the way she is and assure her that she's not as weird as Y/n thinks she is for not having had a girlfriend yet in her twenty-one years of life. Y/n isn't as bothered by the fact, even if she knows that people react with strange looks when they hear about it.
It's not like people are piling up to date her anyway.
-
From: Clingy Lisa
Nah, just get your cute ass over here (¬ ‿ ¬)
To: Clingy Lisa
I almost threw up <
From: Clingy Lisa
Love you babe ★ ~( ◡﹏◕✿ )
Y/n snorts and puts her phone away.
She also makes a mental note to change Lisa's contact name on her phone (Lisa saved it like that one time she came over to Y/n's apartment and they got drunk on cheap wine and Y/n was too lazy to change it back).
-
There aren't many people around yet by the time Y/n arrives at Lisa's apartment.
Lisa pulls her into a tight hug once she steps inside. "Girl, you look amazing!"
Y/n just frowns at her, handing her the present while she shrugs out of her coat. "You're not funny."
"I'm not joking! Your hair's different! I like it." Lisa shakes the present once. "Are those socks?"
"You said you wanted socks-"
"No it's great!" Lisa peels the wrapping paper off and basically looks like a child on Christmas Day going through all the different socks. She suddenly sits down on the floor, takes off her own socks (and throws them over her shoulders) and puts on the Iron Man ones Y/n got her. "Man, these are sick! Thank you so much." She pulls Y/n into another tight hug after scrambling back to her feet.
Y/n chuckles, awkwardly hugging her back. "It's just socks."
"But they're from you. I love them."
"I'm glad you like them." Y/n smiles at her best friend. Lisa grins and loops an arm over her shoulders, guiding her through the hallway to where the voices and music are coming from.
"Thank you for coming, Won. I know you hate parties, I'm sorry."
"No it's fine. Of course I would come." Y/n feels a little less anxious with Lisa by her side but Lisa wouldn't be her best friend if she didn't notice her nervousness.
"Don't worry. I didn't invite a lot of people and you already know most of them anyway! Just have fun, okay?"
Y/n nods, lifting her eyes to meet the few faces that are already present. There are always new ones, especially since her and Lisa go to different colleges.
Jeongyeon immediately clings to her arm and starts introducing her to the people she hasn't met before. Jeongyeon and her used to live in the same neighbourhood and after Lisa she's probably Y/n's closest friend, meaning that Jeongyeon also knows about Y/n being a total moron when it comes to meeting people.
The first hour Isn't as bad as Y/n thought it would be. Jeongyeon stays by her side most of the time because Lisa has to talk to her other friends but Y/n doesn't mind. Jeongyeon whispers details about every single person present into Y/n's ears, things Y/n doesn't even want to know (like who hooked up with whom last Friday, or which guy had her hand up Seulgi's skirt at Seokmin's party the other day).
"Are you texting Dahyun?" Y/n asks when Jeongyeon stops talking to take a look at her phone.
"She should be coming soon." She nods her head, bringing her drink to her mouth. "Chaeyoung's with her, don't worry."
"I wasn't worried." Y/n mumbles which makes Jeongyeon snort. Chaeyoung, her younger sister, is still in her last year of high school so Y/n doesn't feel all that great about her going to a college party but it's not like she can stop her. Chaeyoung and Dahyun have been friends since they were in their nappies. Wherever Dahyun goes, Chaeyoung follows and since Dahyun shares some classes with Lisa, all of them kind of ended up forming an unintended kind of group that hangs out together most of the time.
Y/n looks around the room, squinting her eyes despite the help of her glasses because there's a bit of smoke floating around the room and the lights are too dim. There are more people than she expected to be. There's a group of people playing what looks to be truth or dare in the corner. There's a girl and a boy dancing way too intimately behind the couch, the boy's hand dangerously close to the space between her legs but it doesn't look like she minds so Y/n quickly looks away.
Lisa is currently chatting with a cute girl at the entrance of the kitchen, and oh- Lisa likes her.
Her eyes do the thing where they crinkle up so much from smiling that they almost disappear and that never happens with people who aren't either her close friends or family.
Unless it's a girl she likes.
"Jisoo," Jeongyeon whispers into her ear. "The girl she's talking to?" She adds when Y/n gives her a clueless look.
Y/n nods her head in understanding. "She never told me she was into someone."
"I don't think she knows it herself." Jeongyeon laughs. "But she likes her too, I can see that."
"She's cute."
"Aren't they all." Jeongyeon sighs, leaning back against the couch. "I'm going to die alone at this rate."
"It's your fault." Y/n laughs when Jeongyeon tries to hit her. "Stop being so picky. It's not like you don't have any offers."
"Yeah, but I don't want to settle for someone just cause I'm scared I might end up alone." Jeongyeon rolls her eyes. "Why am I even talking to you about this? You have the emotional range of a teaspoon."
"Stop quoting Harry Potter. You're not worthy."
"Oh, sorry. Forgot you had an intimate relationship with them books."
Y/n sighs and pushes herself away from the couch.
"Where are you going?" Jeongyeon whines, clinging to her arm. "Don't leave me alone."
"I'm going to grab another drink. Do you want one?"
Jeongyeon pouts and nods her head. "I want a mojito."
"No." Y/n walks away, smirking when she hears Jeongyeon shout after her. She passes Lisa to go into the kitchen and her friend gives her a nervous look, still talking to that Jisoo girl, and Y/n gives her an encouraging smile. Honestly, if anyone deserves to be happy, it's Lisa. She's not been very lucky with her partners so far. They always either betrayed her in one way or another or were just straight up too evil for someone as kind-hearted as Lisa. She hopes it's different this time.
-
The kitchen Is empty when she starts pouring herself and Jeongyeon a drink, using some lemon juice and some kind of white liquor that she can't identify because someone peeled the label off. It doesn't taste bad so she figures Jeongyeon won't make too much of a fuss.
She turns around to walk out again and she's not sure how or why it happens, but the girl standing in front of her suddenly turns around as well. Y/n succeeds in not spilling her own drinks but the girl in front of her is less successful because a second later, the front of Y/n's shirt is drenched in what has to be beer.
"Fuck!" The girl in front of her curses. "I'm sorry."
Y/n tries not to groan at the state of her shirt, the fabric cold and wet against her skin and the smell of cheap beer tickling her nose. "It's fine."
"No. Shit. You're shirt's totally soaked." The girl puts her now empty cup to the side.
Y/n looks up into the girl's face, not recognizing her at first sight. She's shorter than Y/n. She's more white than Y/n. She's definitely a lot better looking than Y/n.
"I'll get you a new one."
"It's okay. It's just a shirt." Y/n shrugs. She gives the girl a brief smile and tries to sidestep her to get out of the kitchen but the girl suddenly blocks her way.
"I really feel horrible. Please let me at least help you dry that thing."
"Uhm. That's nice of you but it's really fine-"
"Then can I at least know your name?"
Y/n must look really stupid, staring at the girl like that, but she isn't really sure what's going on right now. "What?"
"Your name?" The girl tilts her head, a sudden glint in her eyes as they flicker over Y/n's face.
"Why are you asking?"
The girl laughs a bit. "Is that such a weird thing to ask?"
"It's Y/n," She finally says.
"Y/n." The girl repeats and something about the way she says her name sends a shiver down Y/n's spine. "I'm Sana."
Y/n clears her throat when Sana doesn't do anything but look at her for a few seconds. "Nice to meet you."
"Likewise." Sana suddenly starts smiling and before Y/n does something embarrassing, she gives this Sana girl one last smile before rushing out of the kitchen.
Sana turns to look over her shoulder to stare at Y/n's retreating back, a strange look on her face that Y/n misses in her haste to get out of the situation.
"What the hell took you so long?" Jeongyeon groans, still sitting in the same position Y/n left her in. "And what the fuck happened to your shirt? Oh my god, you didn't throw up did you-"
"Just take your damn drink." Y/n grunts, pushing Jeongyeon's drink into her hand before she slides down to sit beside her, taking a big gulp from her own cup.
Jeongyeon clicks her tongue at her, pulling a face after taking a sip from the drink. "This tastes like poison. You had one job-"
"Go get your own drink then." Y/n feels strangely out of breath and her heart is beating faster than normal too. What the hell? She knows she has her difficulties meeting new people but she never reacted like this before.
"Hey, Won. Are you okay? You look like you're going to pass out." Jeongyeon frowns at her, worry etched into her features. "Please don't. I wouldn't know what to do."
"I'm fine."
"You sure?"
Y/n suddenly hears Chaeyoung's voice from somewhere. She looks up and finds her and Dahyun greeting some of their friends. Jeongyeon waves them over. Chaeyoung hugs Jeongyeon and sits down next to Y/n, smiling at her.
It's been a while since she last saw her sister, maybe even a month since college always keeps her so busy and her parents' house is a two hours' drive away from her apartment.
"Thank you for the DVD," Chaeyoung says, reaching into her pocket to fish out a few bills. Y/n bought the new Captain America movie for Chaeyoung's present for Lisa so that's probably what her sister's referring to. "How much was it?"
Y/n snorts and pushes her sister's hand away. "Keep it."
"But Y/n-"
"Chaeyoung, you barely earn more than twenty bucks as it is. And it's just a DVD."
Chaeyoung gives her an almost sad look but once Y/n starts glaring at her her little sister puts the money away. "Thank you, Y/n."
"It's nothing." Y/n nudges her shoulder. "Are you staying with Dahyun?"
"Yeah. She's going to drive me home tomorrow." Since Chaeyoung still lives with their parents almost two hours away from here, she usually only visits on the weekends so she can stay over at either Dahyun's or Y/n's place.
"You know you can stay with me too."
Chaeyoung hesitates for a moment. "I know. But Dahyun invited me. So."
Y/n knows that's not the reason but she decides not to make a comment about it.
It's quiet for a moment between them, Dahyun and Jeongyeon chatting animatedly next to them. "I missed you," Chaeyoung quietly says.
Y/n automatically freezes at her sister's words. She knows what she's supposed to say right now. She missed Chaeyoung too, obviously she did.
"Would it kill you to admit that you missed me too?" Chaeyoung looks hurt and Y/n feels horrible. She feels like this a lot. Like the worst sister in the world.
Chaeyoung is the exact opposite of her, kind of like Lisa. Chaeyoung's the better son, that much is definitely clear. And that's not Y/n pitying herself; it's simply a fact. Chaeyoung's all smiles and positivity. She's full of love, has a heart of gold, and always makes sure to tell the people around them how loved they are whereas Y/n is like a brick of stone compared to her.
"You know I did." Y/n mutters, swirling her drink around in the cup.
"Could've fooled me."
Y/n sighs, her eyes stinging from all the smoke in the room. "How are mom and dad?"
"You'd know if you'd bother to call them." Chaeyoung shakes her head, a bitter smile on her face.
"Chaeyoung-"
"Just leave it." Her sister gets up and pushes her way through the crowd and by the time Y/n is standing to follow her, she's already lost all sight of her.
Great. They barely sat together for a minute and Y/n already managed to fuck things up again.
It should be obvious by now, that Y/l/n Y/n is kind of a big fuck up when it comes to dealing with people.
-
She always tends to get more thoughtful when she's drunk or upset. Maybe that's why, a few minutes later, Y/n is climbing through the window in Lisa's bedroom to sit on the fire escape there. Lisa and her always come out to sit here - no matter how cold it is - when either of them is having a hard time.
It's something like their safe place when things in life get too much, when they just need to have a talk with each other.
Y/n would really like for Lisa to be here with her right now. She's not sure if it's the alcohol or Chaeyoung's behavior towards her, or maybe she just misses her parents, but she feels upset and she really just wants to go home.
Somehow she ends up holding her phone in her hand and somehow she ends up pressing the call button for home.
She doesn't think about how late it is. Last time she checked it was only something past nine.
"Y/n?"
It's her dad's voice.
"Hey."
"Is everything okay?"
I missed you ... That's what Y/n wants to say. It's what a child should say after not seeing their parents for a long time, but Y/n can't.
"Yeah. I'm sorry for calling so late. I just- I wanted to check up on mom. I haven't called in a while."
"I see. She's fine." Her dad clears his throat.
Him and Y/n have always been more awkward with each other. Once Y/n left for college they finally had an excuse for not talking to each other more than absolutely necessary.
Her dad's alwaysss been looking for a reason to cut ties with her anyway.
"Chaeyoung said you'd be at the party too. Did she arrive safely?"
It shouldn't hurt, not at all, that her dad wants to know if her little sister is fine. Y/n understands. But it still hurts.
"She's here. She's fine."
"Good. Make sure she doesn't drink anything."
"Yeah."
"Are you sure everything's fine?"
"Yeah." Y/n gulps, feeling a sudden lump in her throat. "Is mom there?"
"She's already asleep. I'll tell her you called."
"Okay."
"Is that all?"
Y/n gulps again, her eyes welling with stupid tears. "Yes. Goodnight, dad."
Her dad doesn't respond for a moment, like he isn't sure what to say and Y/n hears himt sigh deeply. "Take care of yourself. Don't make your mother worry too much, will you?"
"Okay."
"Goodnight."
Y/n hangs up, huffing angrily as she wipes at her wet cheeks. "Fuck."
She knows something has to change. She knows it's stupid for her and her parents to be so distant for seemingly no reason but she honestly has no idea how to fix it; doesn't know where to even begin.
She knows everything Is her fault but she doesn't know what exactly she did wrong except simply being the way she is.
Or you know, existing.
Y/n takes a sip from her bitter drink, shivers when a gust of wind hits her, the wet spots on her shirt feeling like ice on her skin. She wants to go home, but she can't. Not before making sure her sister doesn't do anything stupid in her absence.
It's not that she doesn't trust Lisa or the others but she knows they're all fairly drunk themselves and no one wants to play babysitter at a party like this.
The fire escape rattles a bit and Y/n turns around to look who decided to come out here. She's surprised to see that it's the girl from the kitchen. Sana, right?
"Uhm." Sana blinks down at her, looking surprised as well. "I swear I didn't follow you."
"Okay." Y/n answers.
"What are you doing here?" Sana asks.
"Sitting." Y/n realizes that her answer might come across as rude so she decides to ask Sana the same thing.
"The smoke in there is getting to my head," Sana answers. "But I can look for another spot if I'm bothering you."
"No." Y/n doesn't know why she shakes her head or why she doesn't go back inside. She wanted to be alone so she shouldn't be fine with a stranger suddenly keeping her company. "You can sit here if you want."
And Sana does. She sits down with a respectful amount of space between their legs, now holding a bottle of beer in her hands. She notices Y/n's eyes on it and shrugs her shoulders. "Bottles don't spill as easily."
Y/n looks up into her eyes and smiles a bit, feeling slightly flustered when Sana smiles back twice as brightly.
"Your shirt's still wet."
"It's fine."
"You shouldn't be sitting out here though. Might get sick."
Y/n shrugs and stares at the brick wall in front of them. It would've been nice to see some city lights or something but the sad truth is that they're facing another ugly apartment complex.
"Do you want me to shut up?" Sana asks next.
"What?"
"You're kind of being really quiet."
"I don't talk a lot," Y/n answers, suddenly reminded of her talk with her dad. She feels like crying again but she's not about to do that in front of a stranger. "It's nothing against you."
"I see." Sana hums, nodding her head. Y/n finally looks up to face her again, not really understanding what a girl like Sana is doing here with her. But like Sana said, she probably just came out here to get some fresh air. She probably felt annoyed when she saw that Y/n was already sitting here and now she's trying to make small talk and Y/n, once again, is making things incredibly difficult. "So, how do you know Lisa?"
"We met back in middle school."
"Wow, really? That's a long time." Sana looks genuinely impressed, almost a bit like a child, and it should look weird on a grown woman's face but it kind of looks... cute.
Y/n feels herself blush so she quickly tries to come up with something to say. "What about you?"
"Ah, I actually don't know her that well." Sana chuckles a bit awkwardly. "I kind of met her through Momo since they used to be roommates and all. And Momo and I are something like, best friends, I guess."
"You guess?"
"We only met a few months ago. But she said we're best friends? Or maybe she didn't mean to say that, actually. Her Korean still isn't that great..." Sana trails off, suddenly looking really concerned and Y/n can't stop herself from laughing. Sana turns to look at her, the concerned look fading for something close to a smile.
Y/n stops laughing when she notices how Sana is staring at her. She immediately stops, clearing her throat. "Sorry."
"What are you saying sorry for?"
"Don't know." Y/n shrugs. "For laughing."
Sana blinks at her and some of her hair comes loose at the next gust of wind. It's unfair, how it only makes her look more attractive when Y/n could spend hours in front of the mirror to fix her hair and end up looking not even half as good as this girl. "You look cute when you laugh." Sana suddenly says, making Y/n's stomach do an uncomfortable flip.
"Uhm."
"No, wait-" Sana licks her lips, shaking her head. "I'm not, like, hitting on you."
"I didn't think that."
"But you do have a nice smile."
"What?"
"What's so hard to understand about that? Your smile. It's really pretty."
Y/n just stares at Sana, not really knowing what to say. "No one's told me that before."
"What?" Sana raises her eyebrows. "Are you serious?"
Y/n shrugs, her eyes awkwardly shifting around as she tries to figure out how she's supposed to react to a compliment like that.
"You'll just have to take my word for it then." Sana gulps down the rest of her beer and Y/n tries not to stare at the way her throat moves with every gulo she take but it's almost impossible not to.
"Why were you crying?" Sana suddenly asks.
Y/n gapes a little at the question. She didn't think Sana saw that. "I wasn't."
"You were wiping your eyes when I came."
"I always tear up when it's cold outside."
"Your eyes are red."
"What's it to you?" Y/n asks, feeling irritated.
"Nothing." Sana shrugs. "I thought maybe you'd want to talk about it."
"Well, I don't." Y/n didn't mean to snap but she suddenly feels like her emotions are controlling her when it's usually the other way around. Her heart is racing and all she can think about is how much of a complete disappointment she is to her family.
Even her little sister who used to admire Y/n so much when they were younger thinks of her as a lost cause and it hurts because Y/n doesn't think she's ever done anything specifically for everything to turn out like this yet there's no one else to blame but herself.
"Hey- wait, why are you crying again?" Sana sounds and looks like she has no idea what to do. "Look, I'm sorry. I'll leave you alone, shit, I didn't mean to make you cry-"
"I'm not crying because of you." Y/n huffs. She shouldn't have had so many drinks. She always gets overly emotional when she's drunk. Usually that's not such a problem. Lisa and her just end up crying together anyway. But this is a stranger and Y/n's never like this in front of strangers.
"Then why...?"
"I'm just being stupid." She angrily wipes the new tears from her cheeks but her nose hurts from prickling so much, which in return makes new tears well up in her eyes. She's suddenly thinking about the time everyone back at home threw a party for her mom and how sad her mom sounded because not only did Y/n not show up for it but she also completely forgot about her mother's birthday; two years in a row. Or how she missed Chaeyoung's first dance solo at a talent show.
Or how she didn't even know her dad had a heart attack until three months later because no one wanted to worry Y/n and she didn't bother calling to check up on them as much as she should've.
"I'm a bad daughter."
"What?"
"I'm a bad daughter." Y/n mumbles, her voice coming out all wobbly and she just bursts into tears again. She turns to face away from Sana, not wanting to look like a crybaby in front of her as she wills herself to stop shedding more tears. It's not like things are going to get fixed by crying over them.
"Hey..." She hears Sana's soft voice behind her. "Look, I don't know what happened and all but I'm sure you're not a bad daughter."
Y/n doesn't bother protesting. She just shakes her head, chin wobbling as she stares at the ground several feet below them.
"Do you want me to get Lisa?"
"No!" Y/n turns to look at Sana over her shoulder, momentarily startled by the worried expression on her face. Sana probably just feels sorry for her. "Don't tell her, please. I'll be fine. I just need a minute."
"If you say so." Sana sighs, her eyes never leaving Y/n's blotchy face. Y/n turns back around and pulls her legs closer to her body, hugging her knees to her chest. "Do you want me to tell you a story?"
"I think you should go back inside." Y/n sniffs a bit.
"Why?"
"Why are you still here?" Y/n asks, pressing her face against her knees.
"I can't just leave someone alone when they're upset." Sana mumbles. "And I still feel bad about doing that to your shirt. So consider this me trying to make it up to you."
Y/n bites down on her bottom lip, not really knowing what she's supposed to say anymore and after a beat of silence Sana starts talking.
And Y/n just listens.
Sana tells her about her childhood, about the silly things she did and how she always got herself and her friends into trouble. She tells her about stupid things that happened in high school because even then, Sana was still a troublemaker that all the teachers wanted to hate but no one could because she was too charming and good-looking (those were Sana's words).
----
Umm, how is it?
Oh also something I want to say: Sana is actually u can say half korean and half Japanese here. Cause her mom's side is korean and her dad side is Japanese. So have lived her whole life in korean basically. (yall needed this info for the futuree)