I stormed through the pack with Eli behind me. Eyes followed our every move in an attempt to make sense of what just happened. Some tried to stop us and ask questions, but I was focused on one thing at that moment.
As the building came into sight, I pushed the entrance open and strode down the hall. When I reached the room, the door was already wide open as if I'd been expecting to show up—which I was sure that I was. I stepped inside and shut the door behind me, effectively shutting the rest of the pack out, and my eyes shifted to the table in front of me.
"I told you," I said through clenched teeth. "I told you that he was no good. I told you that you should've picked another—"
"I know," Nolan snapped. "He was my gamma; I was the one who gave him the benefit of the doubt; I was the one who opened the door for him. Believe me, Nixon, I know, and I don't need you to tell me."
My eyes drifted over to my brother, and I studied him. Not his face, but the rest of his body. He was tensed up, hands clenched tightly into fists that shook slightly with rage, I could hear the irregular sound of his breathing as he attempted to regulate himself, and I knew that he had to be receiving the same overwhelming amount of questions and influx of emotions just like I was.
Guilt flowed into me. This situation had to be hard on him too. I sighed and walked toward him, pulling up a chair and taking a seat by his side. I blocked out the pack, and the two of us sat there in silence for a few moments until I saw signs of Nolan beginning to calm down.
"I'm trying to fix it," Nolan said quietly. "I'm trying to get him. I've sent out trackers and called Alpha Judah as well. If Fen's on the run, then he'll have to cross through Judah's pack lands. We're going to get him."
The way Nolan spoke made it sound like he was trying to convince himself more than me. While he and Fen weren't exactly best friends, they were somewhat close—close enough for Nolan to request that he officially joined the pack and took over as gamma long before we were planned to take over. That bond had lessened over the years, but I knew that the situation had to be hurting him.
"Yeah, we're going to get him," I agreed.
I'd make sure of it. After what he did to Eli and the attempt to kill me, I knew it was only a matter of time. Soon his face would be known amongst the other packs, and he'd be captured. In the rare case that he didn't get captured, he'd live a life in hiding. He'd never fully be able to enjoy most things similarly to how he had before. His life was fucked over—done with.
But it wasn't enough.
I wanted him to pay for his actions. I wanted to see him face Eli and fully grasp the consequences of his actions; I wanted him to see the faces of the pack members he left behind as they stared at him with eyes full of disgust and disappointment.
There was a quiet knock on the door, and it opened to reveal Roan. He stepped into the room and shut the door before quickly approaching Nolan. He paid me no attention and frowned when I saw Nolan's defeated figure.
"He got away?" Nolan asked.
Roan nodded slowly. "He ran into the Rogue's Den, so Atlas and I turned back."
The Rogue's Den was technically unclaimed land; however, in the recent years, it'd begun to become more and more populated by rogue wolves, which was how it got its nickname. Most pack-affiliated wolves stayed away due to the rogues being unnecessarily violent.
The fact that Fen had run into there made me feel a little bit better. If he truly wanted to escape, he'd have to go through hell and back first. Not to mention that in the scenario where he tried to hide out in the Rogue's Den, he wouldn't be able to for long. The council had been discussing clearing out the area for months, which meant that he'd have to leave at some point, and on the other side was Alpha Judah's pack.
If there was one person more difficult to get along with than myself, it was Judah Stone. He acted as if he were more beast than man at times. He didn't take well to outsiders, but he was fiercely loyal and one of Nolan's best friends. If Fen showed up in his territory, he wouldn't be able to make it out.
"In the meantime, we need to gather the pack and discuss what happened—"
"I'm going to handle it," Nolan cut me off.
My brows furrowed, and I nodded. "I know we are. After the meeting, I want to try and find a way to help—"
"I don't think you understand, Nixon. I'm going to handle this alone."
The room seemed to freeze, and I met his eyes. "What?"
Nolan sighed and let his head drop against Roan's shoulder, who had pulled up a chair on the opposite side of him. His eyes turned up to the ceiling, and he shrugged.
"Remember what we were talking about? How we weren't going to pretend that everything was fine anymore?" He asked, and I nodded. "Though this is a pretty shitty situation, I'm going to try and make some good out of it. I don't want just to sweep this under the rug. I'm going to call a pack meeting and discuss the situation along with the state of the pack for the last couple of years. I'm tired of walking on a foundation formed of lies. This is going to be the start of reforming the Silver Night."
The way he spoke told me just how serious he was. In the past, going back before Nolan and I even took over, whenever something went wrong in the Silver Night, it was promptly swept under the rug because mistakes showed weakness, and we weren't a weak pack. Nolan wanted to break down the already crumbling foundations and build new ones—better ones—but alone?
"You want to do this alone?" I asked him with raised brows. "After everything that just happened?"
He sighed. "If I let you use this situation as a reason to stay, then you'll never take the leap and leave, Nixon. You'll be stuck in the same unhappy cycle. Don't let Fen ruin something else—he's already done enough. Besides, I won't be doing it alone. I'll be doing it with Roan by my side. As my beta and mate."
His words surprised me. "You said that you weren't going to come out about your bond."
"I figured that if I'm serious about this, I need to be open with the pack, which includes being open about who my mate is. How can I expect honesty if I don't give the same?"
I turned my attention to Roan. "Is that what you want?"
I half-expected him not to reply, but instead, he straightened himself up and didn't even glance over at Nolan. His blue eyes met mine with a surprising amount of determination that I'd never seen before.
"I do not know everything, but I do know that there has been a cycle of pain and suffering taking place for far too, and it is time it stopped," he paused. "I want to make it stop."
Nolan gripped Roan's hand, and I knew that they weren't just saying this; they were promising to make a change.
...
When I stepped out of Nolan's office, I was immediately met with Eli's scent. My eyes drifted to the figure on the floor, leaning against the wall, and I frowned.
"Eli—"
"Is it true?" He asked me. "Are you leaving?"
His voice was quiet, and it sounded as if he was trying not to break down all over again. I quickly scanned the area before taking a seat beside him on the floor.
"It's something I've been thinking about," I told him honestly.
"Are you going with Alpha Tatum?" The words caught me by surprise, and I glanced over at him. There was the slightest bit of a smile on his face. "Come on, Nix; I'm not stupid. I can see that there's something going on there. You like him, right?"
The conversation felt wrong to be having after everything, but I slowly nodded nonetheless.
"Yeah, I do," I admitted. "I love him."
I love him. It was the first time I'd said those words out loud, and despite how much the weight of those words scared me, there was no more denying it. I loved Tatum Knowles.
But as I stared at my best friend, I couldn't bring myself to feel happy while I knew that he was suffering. I turned to face him fully and said, "Come with me."
Eli froze and stared at me as if trying to figure out if I was being serious or not, but I was. I didn't want to leave him here, and I doubted that he wanted to be at the Silver Night right now. I wanted him to see that there was more out there—that there was hope.
"Come with me to the Howling Night, Eli."