"Wow. I think I lost all basic foundations in math when I got sick. And I was always good at math." I said to Josie during lunch as we were desperately trying to work our way through these practice problems our teacher assigned. "I- I'm sorry I can't help you that much. I know you texted me and asked for some peer tutoring since I like math but-"
"No, Pen, don't apologize. It's okay. I have some friends who are pretty good at math, I can just ask them. Plus my girlfriend's somewhat decent at it." Josie laughed. "But let's put math aside for a while, how's life? How're you feeling?"
"I'm okay. At least I can somewhat live a normal life. I'm hanging out with my brother after school today, which is awesome. I haven't hung out with him one-on-one in a while." I said. "How's your life?"
"Decent." Josie said. "I have dance right after school, I'm going out to dinner with my uncle, and then I'm hanging out with my friend Catlynn afterwards for a sleepover at her apartment."
"That sounds fun. When you're not too busy with dance and I'm not as busy with doctor's appointments, we should have a sleepover sometime. I've never had a sleepover before." I said.
"Definitely!" Josie said, then the bell rang. "Welp, I gotta go to History. I'll see you later?"
"Yeah!"
_________
"Alex!" I said cheerfully as I got into my brother's car after school, throwing my backpack and lunchbox in the back.
"Hey, Herb!" Alex said as I hopped in and he drove away. "Whatcha thinking for dinner?"
"I don't know, nothing too fancy. I'm literally wearing sweatpants."
"Upscale restaurant it is." Alex said.
"ALEX!" I laughed as we drove off. "You're impossible!"
"Love you too, Herb." Alex said. "Hey, I have something in the backseat for you, I meant to give it to you months ago when...y'know, things happened."
"You've given me like 50 gifts over the past year or so. I don't need anything else." I said, reaching back to grab a pretty yellow gift bag from the backseat.
"I know, but this one's special. Open it."
"I guess I won't open it, just to spite you."
"Oh, shut up!"
I laughed at my brother's antics as I set the gift on my lap. As I was looking at it and was about to open it, I thought of something.
"Alex?"
"Yes, Herb?"
"I have a question." I said.
"Is it about puberty? If so, you got the wrong person."
"Please, I couldn't trust you to give me the puberty talk as far as I can throw a truck. But in all seriousness, I did have a question. And I'm too scared to ask Mom it or anything, so I thought I'd ask you."
"Boy problems?" Alex chuckled.
"I literally have 2 girlfriends, Alex." I said, laughing, then I took a deep breath. "I guess my question is...what am I gonna do if the cancer ever, y'know, comes back? It happened with Kate and look what happened with her- like, I don't know. I'm too young for this- I had seven months of my life stripped away from me once, I don't know what I'd do if I had to go through that a second time."
Alex pulled the car over, unbuckled his seat belt, and put his hand on my knee. I put my hand to my face and realized that sometime during that conversation, I had started crying.
"Hey, Herb. Look at me. I can't promise that you won't relapse. I know that might not be helpful, and I can't even begin to imagine how scary the feeling is. But if there's one thing I know for sure, and pardon my language, is that you, Penney Steingold, are a fucking badass." Alex said.
"Really?" I said, a soft smile forming on my face as I wiped some of the tears away.
"Really. Herb, you were thirteen and a half years old when you got cancer. Thirteen. You went through something that no teenager should ever have to go through, smiling the best you could and with the strongest fighting spirit I've ever seen in my life." Alex said. "And if, God forbid, you do relapse...I'll be there for you every step of the way. I promise."
"I love you so much." I said. "Can we just...switch the subject now? Just forget about all this shit? I just needed to get that off my chest."
"I love you too, Herb, and of course. Now, do you want Burger King or that fancy Italian place with the black tie dress code?"
"ALEX!"