You bring out the best and the worst in me.
Jungkook POV -
My heart felt near bursting. I was absolutely done. This man owned me, body and soul, and everything in between. I slowly picked him up while he wrapped his legs around my waist. We kept on kissing each other like there is no tomorrow. Honestly, there was no tomorrow for us or maybe it was. Because it felt so right, this man was ready to give me everything I wanted. His body, his soul, maybe his heart too. I wish he really loved me the way I do. I know what I'm doing but what if he doesn't? What if it's just a heat of the moment with him. Everything is gonna change after this night and we both are aware of it and I hope he does know that, because going back to our normal selves is next to impossible. This night is gonna change a lot of things in us, even us and our relationship. We are sober enough to know what we are doing, at least me, if things go wrong can we blame it on alcohol? But then I don't want to make any excuses, I want to be honest with him about my feelings. There was a moment of tenderness between us, and for a moment I experienced the most rare, ridiculous emotion- hope. My thoughts splintered, Taehyung, that one name was enough for me to get back to reality. There was doubt that Jimin loved Taehyung. He confessed it, not that he verbalized it but I know it he did. And I also know that he knows that I loved Taehyung. I could see through him, in his eyes. I could see something in them at times - pity and something more I couldn't name. mere 2-3 years can't win years of friendship and love. I can't win this, there is no way Jimin would choose me over Taehyung. And what we are doing now is all a mess, i know i shouldn't do this, he loves someone else. His heart and body belong to someone else. But what about me? My feelings? I know what I'm doing. He is gonna hate me for it? But will this hate help me to move on? This guilt will definitely do, i won't be able to look into his eyes, face him after this night. My actions may tell him otherwise but my words are gonna hurt him, and I intend it to be like this. He needs to hate, he must hate me.
I was no longer me. He threw his head back, baring his throat. I love the way he clings to me, his nails digging into my back. I took him to my bed. Goddamn he looked like an art. I couldn't take my eyes off him. My eyes filled the primal lust, desire and hunger and most importantly love I wanna make with him everyday every minute. I kept on looking at his body, memorizing every detail of it. Maybe I'll never get to see him again, not after tonight. His shy red face, that flawless neck which was marked now with my hickeys, moles on his body, his stunning curves. His crotch, when he saw I was looking at him with such intensity, he covered his body. I held his hand "Don’t touch yourself until I tell you, or I'll punish you,” I said while undressing myself, staring right through him. He looked so wrecked when he was eyeing me getting undressed. I was already hard seeing him so wrecked. My mouth went dry, his sinful face, those tempting lips. I climbed over him, caging him in between my arms. "You smell so good," he smelled like soap and shampoos, he always smelled this good. He was warm against me. When his lips pressed against mine, his touch was soft, exquisite and tender, stirring a fire within me that I had never felt before. I pressed myself closer to him as he moved a hand into my hair. I ran my nose down his neck and chest, peppering soft, open kisses, biting his ear and leaving hickeys along with some bruises over his neck and chest. Tonight he was mine. These marks are gonna be a reminder to him of this night. My one hand was playing with his nipple, the other rubbed his thigh. God those thighs, his body was just so perfect. I started kissing the insides of his thighs and trailing up to his stomach, chest and finally up to his tempting lips. I'm getting addicted to how vulnerable and delicate he is in bed. Mine to break or make. I was so high on him. “Come here,” I growled, my voice gravelly deepening, I wanted those sinful lips on my crotch. The image of him sucking me off was driving me crazy. "Take this in your mouth", I demanded, giving a little stock to my crotch. He quickly moved, as if my command was his demand. He obeyed me, my every instruction. Opening his mouth to take the tip of my crotch, giving the kitten licks and gently stroking. Man! This feeling was euphoria. I threw my head back, enjoying the pleasure with a moan, it set fire on me, my need grew stronger. He tried taking more of my length, I know I was huge. But that didn't stop him, he was talking to me as a pro. The image of him fully wrecked by the gag popped in my head and I did it. I gagged him. Taking all the pleasure of deep-throat. I looked down at him. He was a complete mess, teary eyes, lips full of saliva and complete justice to the image I imagined. I moaned again as I was so close. I held the crown of his head tightly. "Em, I'm gonna..." And with that said I came with a shudder of pleasure. All coats of cum on him, his tongue and throat, he gulped all of it. I let him go, we both need breathers, we both need time to get back to normal from our high. My breathing was uneven, and finally I was able to breathe. I was still high on orgasm. The best I ever had and last too.
After we both were down from the high I picked him and tossed on the bed. The things I wanted to do with him and the things he wanted me to do are driving me crazy. He was ready to give it all, all to me. Pinning him down. Talking in every detail of his face. God! He looks like a wet dream. I kissed him again. And I kept on kissing him. I can't get over those sinful lips and those moans leaving from those. I devoured him, he tastes so goddamn good. The kiss was nowhere gentle, it was more raw, dirty, and sloppy. I kept on biting, sucking every part of his body. My tongue swept in his mouth again, while my one finger slipped inside of him. He was so tight. "Be gentle, it's my first time," he said between our kisses. I laughed like a maniac. Not that I wanted any harm to him. But being gentle will make me feel like making love to him and he'll know everything I want to hide from him. Me, my feelings. It will make me a weak man and I'll be nothing but a loser in his eyes. He already pity me for the unrequited love but him seeing me like a loser which I am, would hurt me and my ego. Most importantly I'm not ready for any rejection, at least not now. I looked up at him, the sour feeling of him never loving me, set down my core. My eyes went dark, the turmoil of feeling, filled with anger, pain, resentment and a lot more emotions he wouldn't and shouldn't understand. "I'm far from being gentle with you, Jimin". "I'm gonna ruin you, every part of you, even this" i pointed towards his heart, I know I'm breaking him by saying all this. His eyes were enough to let me know the pain. I saw tears, I made him cry. Wow! Jungkook, you're an asshole, I cursed myself. I'm breaking him and that's killing me too. "I'm gonna break you, your heart, so you could never love anyone and I get what I want" while tears ran down his face, i continued " You have no idea how much I hate you. (What a lie, hate is the last thing i feel for you) You're a good person Jimin, I can't do anything but hate you because……" ( i hate you because you love someone else but not me, i hate seeing you with him. A part of me always breaks and dies when I see you close to him like he is your everything) I didn't complete the sentence, he waited for me to complete to know why I hated him so much but it never came out. What do I tell him? I love him? Will he love me back? No! Then what's the point? After knowing he loves his best friend, apparently my best friend and someone I loved in the past, I confess my feelings to him. Well I'll make a fool out of myself. The time I let Jimin live with me, the circumstances were different but now I'm madly in love with him. "Why?" He asked me, brought me back from thoughts, wiping his tears and a new tear rolled down his eyes, it didn't stop. "Why do you hate me so much? What's so wrong I have done to you, why are you treating me such? Why?" We kept eye contact. There was so much to say but what did I tell him? The truth? just to break my heart all over again. Or the lies I keep on telling myself? No words came out of me. We just kept looking at each other, I'm sure he could see it all, the frustration I have as I was not able to spit it out what was bothering me. The truth, my feelings for him, everything.
I took his hands, which fitted perfectly with mine and pinned them, and started kissing fiercely like a wild animal ready to devour his prey. There was no room for him to move even an inch. My grip on his hand tightens and I'm sure they're gonna leave the print. He tried, wiggling to get out of my hold but nothing worked. It was not for me to stop. I know the way his body was giving in to let me do anything I wanted to him but he wanted the answers I was not ready to give. And he finally gave up and let me be pleased. I let his hand go. "Gave up already? You want me to fuck you hard till you forget your name". His eyes and body said it all, he wanted me as much as I wanted him. Make us forget everything for this moment. "Little slut wants to be manhandled like a doll, a doll just for me to fuck and use for my pleasure and no one else". I swept my tongue in his mouth again, kissing him hard and adding two fingers. Tears running down my cheeks, with pleasure. I kept on fingering him, adding one more finger. There is no way I could harm him physically, I did enough damage to him mentally. Preparing him to take me while my lips are busy abusing his hard nipples. I kept fingering him, again and again. He is a shivering mess underneath me. Soon the pain turned into pleasure. I swiftly turned him on his hands and knees, propping some pillows under his stomach. There is no way I'll do missionary with him, it'll give me a feeling of making love with him, when I look into his eyes and he'll know everything, he'll understand what I feel for him. He'll understand everything and there is no way I can let that happen. His ass on display, it was the finest ass i have ever seen. One could come just by looking at it. I lined up my crotch firmly against his entrance and with a few strokes on my crotch I thrust it one go, giving no time to adjust it felt to be filled to the brim. To say, I was seeing stars and I'm sure he's doing too. It was a hot mix of pleasure and pain. My brain feels mushy, my body feels on fire. It’s not enough. I needed more. I started thrusting hard, at a fast pace. He moaned as I hit his prostate with every thrust. I pulled out a few inches and then slammed back into him. Again and again. Those moans were like a melody to my ears. He was enjoying it and having pleasure made me more charged up.
Moans echoed through the room. I was close to my orgasm and so was he. I could feel the hole crunch against my cock. My thrusts got even harder and rough. I wanted to give him the best sex ever. "Jungkook I'm gonna cum". A moan echoed through the room. Fingers digging into the sheets, with that he came all over the sheets. And i come in him. I squeaked out after a few minutes. Only the rasp of our breathing filled the room.
The night didn't stop there, we kept having sex. Several times. Until he couldn't take it anymore.
He brought his forehead against mine and we breathed the same air, slowly to try and find our composure. But it was impossible for me as long as he’s so close to me. “You’re ruining me’’, I whispered. “You ruined me" he whispered back before blacking out.
The turmoil out there stopped but the one in my head never did. The sound of faint rain drops was pleasant, the sound of him snoring was like a melody. Everything was like a dream. The man I love is in my arms, sleeping so soundly. Cuddling me tight. He looks so beautiful and breathtaking. It's a perfect dream. I never wanna wake up from this dream.
There is an ocean of silence between us… and I am drowning in it. Tomorrow everything is gonna change.
Hi fam,
I'm back!!
This chapter was a torture for me, the many times i screamed in my pillow in fear of not waking up all. God, what a rollercoaster of emotions i felt while writing it. I hope y'all like it.
I'll be writing and adding a new chapter next Saturday and Sunday.
Hint - there are lot of confession happening in next chapter so be ready.
Stay healthy stay safe ❤️
I’m so grateful for all the kudos, comments and bookmark ✨