There she stood.
The girl that made my life hell for years on end.
The girl who had no respect for me or herself.
The girl that was so sad and pathetic, that she had to project her insecurities and fears towards me. In the process, she became the very thing that she feared.
A cheater.
A lair.
A manipulator.
A disgusting piece of trash.
A leech to society.
Someone who feigned for attention so badly, that she resorted to any means necessary to get it. Even if it meant hurting the people that she once claimed to "love".
A person like her didn't know the definition of the word love. She used and abused that word like it was nothing, because it was nothing to her. Love was just a game. Love was a way for her to hurt the people that had geniune feelings towards her.
I had genuine feelings for her. She was my first love after all. It wasn't perfect but for me, it was love.
The more I grow and get older, the more I realize that love isn't perfect. Love was messy. Love was ugly. Love was a bi-polar monster. Sometimes it destroys you. Sometimes it makes you crazy. Sometimes it makes you happy. Sometimes it makes you sad.
Love was sick, really.
I took a sip of my espresso martini, savoring one last taste of it before I sent it flying her way. " Isn't it such an honor to have Oregon's famous women's soccer goalie in our presence?" I mused to the girls.
" Although," I hissed, tapping my finger against my chin as Ximena stood there fuming over her ruined shirt.
Tough, bitch. Mine was Copereni.
" I'm sure she caught more STD scares than she caught balls last season. Isn't that right, Xi? Is it still itching down there?" I asked, pretending like I gave a damn.
" Can we cut this little introduction short," Ayanna made a show of pinching her nose, adding insult to injury. " It smells like a fisherman's boat and Dominic's weed stash had a baby."
The comparison couldn't have been more spot on. My nose hairs were stinging standing in her presence from the vile stench of self-loathing and desperation to make others hurt just as badly as she was, leaked out of her pores and penetrated my senses.
" I'm still trying to figure out why it and thing are still standing in our presence?" Sade tilted her head, rubbing her fingers together with a scrunched up facial expression. Her irritation was written clear as day all over her body language, along with the rest of my friends.
" Thing? And who the fuck are you?" Ximena's rat, I'm sorry, girlfriend finally spoke up.
Sade barely spares her a glance. " Ah! Thing speaks."
" Bitch!" She tried lunging for Sade.
Sade simply laughed. " I may look like a prissy princess, but I won't hesitate to drag you up and down this club floor until it's squeaky clean, bitch. Touch me if you want to you low-class gutter trash."
Sade's insults hit ten times as worse because she had the softest voice. It was so sweet, that you didn't expect such a vile insult to come from it. Even I flinched hearing her threat.
" Still need these bitches who sit so high up on their horses to defend you, Jora?" Ximena chuckled bitterly.
" I don't need anyone to defend me," I held up my hand, stopping her in her tracks. " You should know that considering that all you ever did was belittle me, slut-shame me, manipulate m-"
" And you're still playing the fucking victims after all these years? Aren't you tired of hearing yourself?" My ex ladies and gentlemen.
My chuckle had so much venom behind it, that the smug look on her face faltered ever so slightly as I stepped forward. " I'll show you a fucking victim bitch."
" When I'm done with you, then you can run to twitter and report back to your delusional following and pretend the be the victim that you so desperately want to be," I threatened, looking at her like she was nothing but a dirty plastic bag covered in feces as it flew through the air, polluting the air.
" If you don't do it," I heard Rhegan's voice. " I will." And Rhegan, being my roommate and witnessing me cry day after day over Ximena, she was waiting on this one.
The longer I stood in front of my ex, the longer I realized that we were feeding her the attention that she needed to be relevant from me and my friends. " Can you leave now?" I questioned, not wanting to entertain her shit any longer.
" Just staring at your sorry ass makes me sick." I was disgusted by her presence. I couldn't even remember why I fell in love with her in the first place. I couldn't even find a likable quality about her.
She was so lost in her narcissistic ways, that I didn't even recognize who she was. She changed and for the worst.
Realizing that she was not getting the reaction that she wanted out of me tonight, she nodded and turned away.
" And just because I didn't give you the fight that you wanted tonight, Ximena," I called out to her, watching her pause. " Doesn't mean that I will be as reluctant to smash a glass over your face the next time you decide to run your mouth like you're hot shit, when in reality, you are nothing."
And I refused to give her a name to make her something. As far as I was concerned, she was going to stay nothing.
Without sparing her another glance, I turned around and faced the bartender. " Another espresso martini please!" I called for the bartender.
" She has some nerve," Elizabeth fumes as she wraps her arms around me, comforting me. " Are you okay?"
" I'm fine, Liz. She can't hurt me anymore than she already has." And that was sad. I was numb to her attempts to hurt me after the Twitter mayhem. It was like she thrives off of my reactions and now I just had to simply stop reacting.
" I don't know what it is , JoJo," Ayanna teased, sipping on her spicy margarita. " But you've clearly got a voodoo pussy that has your ex's obsessed and pressed."
I smiled at her and shrugged my shoulders. " I have been told that it's pretty magical. She must be casting some type of spells while putting people to sleep."
And by people, I mean Kyler.
" Sister! Sister in the building!" Skylar plugs her ears like the dramatic child that she was whenever I talked about my sex life that was pretty non-existent these days.
During his short visit, Kyler managed to keep his hands to himself. I was quite impressed with the restraint that he showed, even when I tried getting him to crack. Of course I wasn't giving into him so soon. It was fun to tease him with what he could've had if only he knew how to control his friend.
Sometimes, if I thought about it too long, I found myself enraged that he even dared letting other girls experience what I got to experience when it came to his magnificent skills in bed. When I did find myself in that unfortunate moment, I prayed that he would come in under five minutes. Only I deserved the full experience.
Sometimes, I even got the intrusive thought to just cut it off.
Then I would remember the toe curling, sweaty, dirty, hot, disgustingly nasty sex that we have. And it's not the kind of sex where he cums and is out for the count.
No, it's the kind of sex that makes you beg him to stop and catch a breath, but you don't want to stop. You want to keep going from dusk til dawn. It's the kind of sex that makes you rethink your last sexual partners and wonder why you didn't wait for him.
It's the kind of sex that makes you wonder why you even get mad at him in the first place until it's all said and done.. Because in that moment, the bliss between the two of us is so unreal, so insane, that I feel like I am glowing from the inside out and about to combust when I'm close to his body.
Sex with Kyler was just— beyond mind blowing.
It was indescribable the things that I felt when he was inside of me. When he was kissing me. When he was touching me. When he was...
fuck.
Why was he such a fucking dumbass?
" Eww," Skylar playfully shoved me as I found myself smiling at a specific dirty memory involving her brother. " If you are going to think about getting fucked by my twin, at least try not to look like you aren't having erotic flashbacks."
" You filthy whore," she mutters as she powers forward towards our section.
Says the bitch who said "fuck it" when she remebered that the elevator had camera's and proceeded to get slutted out from the back by Marcus just last month. And I was the filthy whore.
I mean I was, but hypocrisy wasn't a good look on anybody in this friend group. We all shared so much with each other, that we truly had no room to judge. But when opportunity arose, we did love poking fun at one another for shits and giggles.
" I'm going to let that slide because I love you," I scoffed, bringing my glass to my lips as I followed after her.
The rest of the night went by Ximena free. I had a great time with my friends, drinking and having fun like the good old days when all we did was drink and party. But it was different now. This year we had more responsibilities than we did last year.
Not so much with school. It was our senior year, and quite frankly, I could skate through those assignments, no biggie. Juggling school also came with juggling my job. Sure, taking pictures of an outfit or a beat face may have seemed easy, but so much more went into the content that I created for my feed.
I made most of my income from my social media accounts and I even dabbled in stock. Unlike what most people thought or assumed of me when they saw me, I wasn't leeching off of my daddy's money. From a young age, my parents taught me how to be independent.
And I quickly grasped that lesson. When I was seven, I sat outside the park in the neighborhood and hustled rich old white men out of their money by sitting cute in my tutu, smiling a toothless grin, and offering them overly sweetened and overly priced lemonade.
And like the suckers they were, they fell for it.
With that money, I bought my first ever pair of knee high Skechers. I was simply that girl even from a young age. I knew what I wanted, and I knew how to get it. I could achieve that by batting my lashes and playing nice, or I could show why I was my father's daughter and get it the ethical way as well.
It wasn't until I was much older and realized that this was man's world, and that I would have to fight to earn my spot at one of my father's companies. Now, I wondered if that was what I even wanted in life anymore.
Would it be years wasted down the drain if I chased a hopeless dream? All of that precious time that I spent working my ass off to catch my father's eye when I could've been pursuing what I truly wanted.
Something that I didn't even realize I truly wanted until Kyler pointed it out.
I stared at my blurry reflection in the mirror. On the inside, I felt like shit, on the outside, I looked like shit. Last night, I drank more than I have in months. The horrible headaches and the feeling like I needed to throw up the contents of last night's mistake, threatened to come up.
Rubbing my eyes, I turned around and walked out of the bathroom, turning off the lights and entering my very dark bedroom. My eyes were sensitive to the light thanks to my headache. The shades were still drawn over my window as I shuffled back into my room and plopped into my bed, patting the comforter for my glasses.
I sighed as the world finally stopped spinning and the banging in my head came to a cease.
" Fuck!" I groaned as my mother's ringtone blasted at full fucking volume.
I reached for my phone, my wallet falling on the floor in the process as I grabbed the device. Turning my phone over, I saw that it was a facetime call. My mother could not see me in this state. One look at me and she would just know that I was hungover, and frankly, I wasn't in the position to be having a conversation.
So I decided to let it ring and turned over, facing my wall.
My lashes brushed against my cheeks as they fluttered shut, welcoming the peace and quiet of the much deserved sleep that I lacked at the moment.
It didn't last long.
I grunted in frustration. If I didn't answer now, she would just call again. My mother was quite persistent.
Sighing, I reached behind me and grabbed my phone, answering the call. " Buenos dias, mama," I smiled weakly at the screen, knowing that a scolding was coming my way.
" ¡Oh! ¿Finalmente puede contestar el teléfono?" She lifted a laminated brow, her facial expression exaggerated as she sat on the outdoor patio of our home, a mimosa in hand.
The sight of it made me want to gag.
I was never drinking again.
𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐰𝐢𝐧: 𝐑𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐰𝐨 𝐭𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭!
Ehhh... one espresso martini wouldn't hurt anyone.
" Did you forget that your father is having friends over for lunch in three hours?" Shit.
By the way she stared at me over the rim of her champagne glass, it was clear that she knew that I was in no state to be at a luncheon right now. " I can tell papa that something came up," she offered.
I shook my head, immediately regretting it as it
felt like my brian was rattling from side to side like a jar of pennies. " No! No! No quiero decepcionar a papá," I waved her off.
" Are you sure? Your father will understand."
I shook my head, slowly this time. " I'm sure. It's nothing that a bloody mary won't fix. I'll be there."
" Fabulously late," my mother jokes.
I wink at the camera. " I learned from the best."
We say our goodbyes and I turn into my pillow, letting out a muffled scream and turning over onto my back, staring up at my ceiling. " Fuck my life." I did not want to go and be surrounded by my father's pompous friends and arrogant children.
But I loved my papa and would do anything for him. Even if it meant going to this boring ass lunch, smiling at his sleazy ass business partners, and pretending like I didn't drink my weight in absolute vodka and tequila last night.
Against my wishes, I rolled out of bed and trotted out into the world.
" Blood Mary me!" I spoke as I entered the kitchen. " I need to be at least twenty percent sober like..." I looked at the imaginary watch on my arm and frowned.
" Like now," I plastered a fake smile on my face and nodded.
" What do you have planned for the day? I thought we were recovering and watching cheesy rom-coms for the whole day and then get ready to make the same regrets all over again later," Skylar said all in one breath.
" I know," I flung my arms around her neck and laid my head on her shoulder, batting my lashes at her in a silent plea for forgiveness. This always worked on her brother in the rare moment that I kissed himself.
And those moments were so rare, that I could barely count them on one hand.
" Screw you, medusa," Skylar says, yet she places her cheek on top of my forehead.
" I love you too," a toothy grin spread on my face. " And to answer your question, my mother called and reminded me that I have to go home for papa's luncheon today. I totally spaced with Kyler coming home and going out last night."
" Blow it off. You hate those things anyway," Sade suggested, sliding a tall glass filled to the brim with her hangover cure.
I shook my head as I took a sip. " You guys know that I can't let my father down. In order to maintain my spot as the favorite and golden child, I have to show up to every event to be his bright and shining star."
My father could deny all that he wanted, but the way he bragged about me and all of my accomplishments compared to my brothers, we all knew who the favorite child was. Moi. Being the only girl and the one with actual brains out of my brothers, it just made sense.
" Besides," I twirled the straw between my fingers as I stirred up my drink, watching the contents spin in the glass. " Without me there, my brothers would probably embarrass themselves. It's like they all share a single brain cell."
Okay, maybe I don't give them enough credit.
They are great older brothers. Sometimes they get on my nerves and sometimes they unintentionally hurt my feelings, but they were great at being brothers. Other than that, they lacked certain life and basic skills. The only reason that I could come up with for what they lacked, was that they were born with a silver spoon in their mouth.
And so was I.
The only difference was that my mother drilled into my head that I had to work just as hard as them, maybe even harder to earn respect in this world. Money wasn't always going to do the talking for me.
So I worked harder than they did.
If there was one thing that I knew, it was that I wasn't going to end up being a housewife with no other goals in life other than to sit pretty, shop til I drop, and run around the house chasing kids all day. No, that lifestyle wasn't for me. I was going to be a boss one day.
I was going to be the boss one day.
"Maybe we could go with you?" Ayanna smiles warily. " If your father doesn't mind."
I pursed my lips, thinking. Having them there would make the event more tolerable. There was plenty of space and food, I'm sure. My father wouldn't mind— he loves my friends.
But to be sure, I picked up my phone and called him.
" ¡Hola Papa!" I smiled into the camera.
My father hated audio calls when it came to his children and wife. He claimed that he wanted to see our beautiful faces at all times, even if it was something as simple as a text. Facetime calls aren't the problem though. The problem was that Matís made the mistake of introducing him to voice memos over break.
Now he insists on sending them in response to every text that he receives. It was a bit lazy for a man of his stature if you ask me. I hope he wasn't sending them to his staff and business partners.
He already had a very... colorful vocabulary as it is.
" ¡Hola mi orgullo y alegría!" Favorite child indeed.
My smile widens as he leans back in his chair, most likely outside with my mother right about now. " What does the princess want?"
Was I that predictable?
" For my friends to accompany me to today's luncheon and keep from attempting to drown myself in the pool if Miles Miller pulls that tired ass pick-up line on me for the thousandth time," I kept my tone sweet even though my father knew how much that repulsive polo-shirt wearing, bleach blonde, college dropout, dick for brains annoys.
" And we wouldn't want that to happen," I batted my lashes twice, three times for an extra measure.
My father smiled. " Bring them! I'm not spending a fortune on catering for it all to go to waste! I can only stuff your brothers so much, ya know."
I let out a giggle and smile broadly. " Thank you, papa! The girls and I will be there soon," I waved before ending the phone call.
" Don't you just love it when you have your father wrapped around your pinky," Rhegan sighed.
" I wouldn't know," Ayanna says.
Elizabeth grabs her hand, squeezing softly, " Yes you do! Jax has been more of a father to you in the last year than that son of bitch who helped conceive you. And by the shiny new Audi parked under our garage, you've got him wrapped around that pinky finger of yours like a Christmas present."
Ayanna smiles softly as the girls and I murmur our agreements with Elizabeth. Jax was doing more for Ayanna than she was used to, and knowing Ayanna, she didn't know how to accept it without feeling guilty or the need to get back. It was one of the qualities about her that I loved most.
It could be a tad bit annoying, but it was something that made me realize she wasn't like people who I usually encountered growing up.
" Alright," she taps the table," let's get dressed."
" How should we dress by the way?" Audrey asked.
" Nothing too fancy. A sundress will suffice. We'll be by the pool most of the time," I told them as I grabbed my phone and glass. I spun out of my chair and started for the staircase.
When I entered my room, I picked a simple red halter sundress and a simple pair of sandal heels with gold accents. I hated calling them that. Who the fuck thought the word sandal and heels was a good name for a shoe?
I headed to the shower to scrub the rest of the night's regrets away from my body, and made sure to cleanse the leftover alcohol out of my pores while I was at it. After getting out of the shower, I slathered my body in lotion and body oil before throwing on a decent makeup look that was suitable for this hot as balls weather.
After bronzing my face to the God's, I threw my hair into a sleek spikey bun with a middle part, leaving two strands hanging in front of my eyes. I walked into my room, quickly running around and throwing items into my purse before spritzing on some perfume and heading out of the door.
Surprisingly, I was the first one down stairs.
Hell must've froze over.
I waited for ten minutes before the girls came stampeding down the staircase. All of them talking over each other as their heels clacked against the marble flooring.
" Just take the tag off," Sade instructed Lizzie.
" I don't want to ruin the fabric," Lizzie hesitated.
Skylar sighed. " Oh for fucks sake, just rip the damn thing off. It's not like she's ever going to wear it again."
She was right. Sade never wore the same thing twice unless it was Derrick's jersey.
Skylar snatched off the tag and threw it into the mini trash can next to the couch. I looked up from my phone, locked it, and stood up. " Ready?" I asked.
" Yep," Ayanna nods. " Audrey said that she would meet us downstairs."
" Great. Let's go."
________________________
As I look around my backyard, I force yet another fake smile and wave to one of my father's business partner's.
" This is boring," Skylar sighs.
" Tell me about it," I gritted through clenched teeth.
After making rounds and greeting my family, the girls and I found a spot that was just far enough away that I would barely have to interact with the guest unless they approached me. I for damn sure wasn't approaching them and walking myself into a conversation where Inwoiod had to nod along until they got the hint that I wasn't interested in their son or his business ventures.
" Why does that guy keep staring?" Sade asked, lowering her Versace frames. " That's like the tenth time in the last five seconds."
I looked in the direction she was and mentally groaned. "Miles fucking Miller and..." I squinted, seeing the familiar brunette standing next to him.
" Ah shit," I cursed, turning to the girls.
" What?" They mimicked each other.
I sipped on my cocktail, lifting my brows as the fruity concoction melted on my tastebuds. " Remember when I told you that I had a fling with someone during a break with Ximena?"
The girls nodded as I hummed, scrunching up my nose to point that my eyes were nearly clenched shut. I subtly pointed my head in his direction.
" That's him."
HEY FRIENDS!!!
How are youuuuu??!?
Thoughts??!
I LOVE YOOUU! (say it back)
Xoxo, alexisss
Jora's fitttr