I woke up again today with a heavy heart and all I felt was emptiness. I'm still trying to function well each day despite the fact that my mind and my heart are aching because of missing someone that I haven't met personally even once. Yeah, I fell in love with the person I just met through internet and social media now that we're not talking anymore it feels like my world is falling apart. Call me being pathetic and exaggerated I don't care because in my 23 years of existence this is the first time that I felt something special to someone. I felt so many emotions, cried so many times. Wishing and praying that I could hold and touch her physically but months passed by nothing happened little by little we drifted apart to each other. Now, here I am trying to spend my days without any messages from her.
"Hey sister, you look gloomy lately. Haven't you had enough sleep last night?" my brother asked me as he saw my morning state without a life. I'm trying my best to be bright just like I used to be but I'm having a hard time doing it nowadays.
"Don't mind me. I have tons of work paper I tried to finish last night." I ate my breakfast and took my phone. I opened the apps where I frequently received messages from her but this morning nothing appeared again. Months ago my phone always rings every second because of her constant messages
"Hey sister, remember the baking class that you loved to attend but we weren't able to take up?" I look at him lazily because I just said that I wanted to bake because she loves to eat cakes and cookies. During that time also I am unemployed person. "Why are you talking about it now?"
"Well, I heard that they opened another class and it's a night shift. So you don't need to worry for your job. They give allowances and certificates that will be a good credentials to your resume too." After of what he said I just realized it could also be a good opportunity to occupy myself from the sadness and drowning myself to the pointless thoughts. I might need another hobby for myself to go back again like it used to be.
"Okay count me in." I stood up and grabbed my things for my work.
Days after, my brother really enrolled me to the baking class he talked about and good thing, one of our cousin also enrolled to that class because it was required to his course. Now here we are in the class preparing for baking. I was so worried that I might not be able to finish this class due to my job and I still have my thesis in my master class to be done this semester.
My impulsive self just wanted my mind and self be busy and be distracted but ended up in this big mess. Hoping that I'll be able to finish all of these without failing any and not affecting my job and my masteral class.
"Before I forget we have two new enrollees that will join us tonight." our teacher announced while we were so busy preparing the ingredients for baking the bread.
"Ma'am one of them is my friend and the rest were my classmates." Kerly replied. She's one of the youngest in our class. Most of us are already graduated in college and majority of us were working while Kerly and Mika are still in their first year of college.
"Good to know they already have acquaintances in these class. It won't be hard for them to adjust even though we already started days ahead of them." I heard our teacher added.
I heard a pair of footsteps. I think they are the new enrollees that ma'am announced earlier. I didn't look at them because I was so busy measuring the flour and the other ingredients.
"The new enrollees please find a partner for you to be able to observe and cope up with the lesson." our teacher announced.
"what type of flour did you use?" I startled and I almost threw all the flow into the air when someone talked behind my back.
"All purpose flour." I said without looking. I don't know who is talking, maybe one of the new comers. I continue preparing the other ingredients. I must not fail this one, I am so eager on making my bread as good so that I could show it to her when she message me again.
"Can I help you? I'm also curious about the process of making the bread." She said. I didn't realize that she's still behind my back watching me doing the mess in pla.
I just nodded and gave her the bowl and cup.
"Okay thank you so much for the offer. You hold this while I pour the water." I said without looking at her.
"Water? Not juice? I saw the others they used juice and milk." this time I look at her.
The first time I notice is she's pretty. There's something in her eyes, the more I look into it the more it becomes mesmerizing. I saw her lips form into a small smile. I cleared my throat. I wonder why I suddenly felt dryness on my throat.
"the teacher said I could use the water just to see the difference. I don't know why she's been using different ingredients it kinda feel that she's still experimenting." I explained to her while pouring the water in the measuring cup.
"Is this your first time to bake a bread?"
"No this is the second time and hope this time I won't fail." I said to her while looking into her face.
I admit that she's really pretty, handsome and cool at the same time. That is why I'm finding my ways to have a glance of her face.
"What happened to your first try? Why did you fail?" She said this time she's smiling again. Damn! That smile again. Please her smile is so enchanting I could stare at her forever. I don't know what is happening to me but my heart is pounding so loudly the time I saw her smile.
"I messed up some of the ingredients especially in measuring it accurately." I smiled at her even though I am wearing a mask right now. Good thing I am wearing a mask because I am smiling now so widely like it could reach to my ears.
After I gathered all the ingredients I mixed the yeast and the sugar to the water and let it rest for 3 minutes while waiting for the yeast to make the bubbles I mixed the dry ingredients such as the salt, and the flour. While she's still on my side observing what I'm doing.
I am not used to working and making something while someone is watching me. Most of the time I messed up. Hope this time it won't.
"Did I miss something?" I said to myself checking every ingredient that I prepare. Flour check, yeast check, white sugar check, water check, egg check, salt check. Wait did I prepare the margarine?
"I don't have any margarine." I must prepare it before I mix the liquid ingredients to the dry mixture.
I am finding a one small bowl for the margarine but I am having a hard time on spotting one. Due to most of us were baking so all of the baking tools were being used.
"Here's the small bowl." She appeared at my back and handed me the small bowl, while she's holding my waist.
I was so stunned for a second. Why she's holding me in the waist? That is so unnecessary like how would I hide my reaction on that? I was so caught off guard. It wasn't my first time being held by my waist my ex boyfriend used to do it when we were together but I don't have any reaction while he's doing it. But on her even it is just a second of her holding my waist my heart is already going to burst. I don't know what is happening to me.
I tried to bring back my composure and acted it doesn't affect me at all. I don't want to let her know. It feels so embarrassing on my part. I prepared the margarine and after that I mixed the yeast to the flour and also I put the egg on the batter. I started to knead the dough.
I was really having a hard time on kneading the dough because some of it remains in my hands and the texture is still inconsistent and not elastic enough. I keep kneading and all of my sweat is pouring down to my spine and neck. I didn't realize that making a bread is so hard. I salute to all the bread makers in the whole world you're so talented and passionate about making a bread everyday.
"I can switch with you on kneading so you can rest." she offered. I didn't hesitate to give her the dough because I am already tired, it's already been 20 minutes of kneading the dough and it is still not enough for it to be a bread.
I look at her kneading the dough, if she's one of the classmate or friend of Kerly and Mika she must also be 18 years old and a first year college. She talks so maturely and but her voice sounds so soft and calm to me. Hope she's not going to have a hard time on balancing her studies and attending this class.
"You good?" I asked her.
"Yes. So this is the feeling of making a bread. Now I know how difficult it is." She said.
I look at her and smile. "See it's not that easy. Just tell me if you're already tired so I can switch you." I offered.
"How's your bread dough, ate?" Phearl asked, she's my brother's best friend who also attended this class. We just met but we got so close because of my brother. Bonus she got the friendliest aura and personality. I am silently rooting for her and my brother to be the end game.
"I think it's looking great unlike the last time. How about yours?" I asked out of curiosity.
"It's already in the fermentation process. I finished the kneading this time early. Chris helped me a lot." Chris is my brother and her best friend.
"that's good to her. Good thing he helped you. I called him a while ago for help he just ignored me." I said to her.
"Well, ate he loves me too much that is why he's helping me." she said cheerfully. I smiled at her because I am so happy, I felt so assured that my brother has someone he can lean on and that is her. When were still in high school I am so worried about him because he doesn't have that much group of friends like I do but good thing now he found someone that is always there for him.
"Are you talking behind my back guys? I heard my name." My brother appeared in front of us.
"Babe, I just told ate that you helped me on kneading my dough." Pearl sweetly said to him.
"Shut up P! Everyone might have misunderstood us of being together." my brother said in disgust I just smiled at their bickering.
I got used to it now, their loudness, the way Phearl takes care of my brother, the way she throws her cheesy punch lines to my brother and the way my brother doesn't reciprocate everything that she does.
"Ate, are you letting her knead the dough?" my brother asked me while pointing his lips towards her.
"She offered the help who am I to refuse?" I just answered.
"Ate is right Chris. Hi! What's your name? You're one of the new enrollees right?" Pearl asked her.
She got off-guard on the sudden question of Phearl well she's the most extroverted in the class it's a given that she's the one who initiates most of the conversations.
"I'm Jasmine." She said shyly.
Jasmine. Nice name.
"The dough is already looking good." I pointed it out.
"You sure?" She asked enthusiastically that surprised me too. She really has a pretty and cute reactions. Her smile is the prettiest.
"Yup! I can assure the bread will taste delicious." I assured her.
I fermented the dough and we waited for more than an hour for the dough to rise and after we molded it the way we wanted it to look like. We preheat it and bake it. When it was cooked we tried to taste it.
"It's really delicious!" She said happily.
"See I told you." I answered her happily.
I finished the day having my first encounter of her. It was one of the moments that I cannot forget about her. I went home almost past midnight but I didn't feel the tiredness at all. Instead, I am so happy and so excited to have a class the next day and got to see her again.
Nice meeting you, you really have the prettiest smile and every time I look into your eyes I really got drowned in it.