Author's Note:
Feel free to skip this small segment of my thoughts ^-^ but of course, it would be greatly appreciated if you were to stay and read this. If nobody were to read this, then that would be sad lol. First of all, I want to apologize for the late update. The last time I took such a long hiatus, I stopped writing for approximately ten days. This time, it's twelve days.
Every time I thought about writing a "new chapter", my body instantly rejected it lmao. If you are an avid online Wattpad writer like myself, then you would have experienced the pain of Writer's Block.
This is when writing or updating a new chapter feels like a chore to accomplish—not for your own fun—but rather for those reading it. It is an emotionally draining motivation.
I had felt emotionally drained, and was also busy with other projects at school. But naturally, there were a few times where I felt the yearning to quit and stop everything. This is weird for me, since I do have a big ego (if you didn't know, then you know now 😅). I remember uploading 50 chapters with 2,000 words each chapter on my old account purely for myself, despite nobody reading it. This is an example of my pride.
Perhaps my ego felt hurt after reading some discouraging messages.
Here is a reminder for everyone: ❗️STOP READING IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT ❗️
When I wrote fan-fictions in the past, there was no problem with this. Now that I'm writing an original story (which I've always yearned to do), readers have issues with what I've created, despite it having similar (and if not the same) quality as my fan-fictions. I've read stuff like "too rush", or "I might not be able to continue reading", or "I'm dropping this shit".
I am a little sensitive bitch that cannot handle "feedback". Okay, I can handle with "I cannot keep up with your book. Maybe try doing this instead", which I would appreciate a lot. However, I do not want to know whether you're dropping my book or not. I do not have any interest in knowing either. It only makes me feel like a worthless little shit that has no value in this god forsaken world ❤️
Especially when those comments are written at early chapters (like 8 and 9, which people had a lot of problems with due to age gaps)... you're hurting my pride!
If you have a problem with this book, spare me your negative comments and instead tell me how to improve! I once had a fellow reader who did that, which I appreciate 🥺
I am a pretty invisible person irl, so Wattpad and writing is the only way for me to stand out. If I cannot even call myself "decent enough" at what I'm doing, then all my years of emotional torment have been for naught. We can learn together. You can teach me, I can teach you. Let's improve together! 🤝
*****
It has been fifteen years since the birth of Lucilline Rubius.
Outside in a garden flourishing of flowers, tiny birds rested on high branches.
They chirruped harmoniously, with their singing suffused in the morning's warm atmosphere. Their small feathers shuffled back and forth, bathing in the sunlight's rays. Showing off their affectionate and benevolent voices, the birds were all attempting to pique the interest of a "certain someone".
Unfortunately, that "certain someone" only treated them as background noise.
"Young Master, would you like to see today's schedule?" A plain white door swung open, and out came Willow. She held a slip of paper in her hands.
Her pair of brilliant purple eyes stared brightly, reflecting glimmers of amethyst within her pupils. They focused on the young teenage boy standing in front of the balcony. Lucilline slumped his entire body over the balcony's fence, his own golden eyes appreciating the garden of what his mother had left. In the spur of the moment, he finally snapped out from his trance.
Looking backwards, he met the eyes of his anticipating maidservant.
"Young Master!" Willow chirped like the birds. "You are beautiful today, Young Master."
Lucilline's eyebrows perked up at her words. "Was I not yesterday?" His small smile was even more attractive, like a flower bud beginning to blossom.
Willow smiled back. "Of course, Young Master. You are beautiful every single day. I just find it necessary for you to know."
Lucilline was propping up his tender white cheek in one hand. His eyes held a hint of amusement. "Hmm... can't blame me. It is just inheritance doing its job."
Willow smiled. "You are just as shameless as yesterday."
Lucilline proudly nodded. "I'm glad that you find this necessary to say as well."
He pushed himself away from the balcony fence. Properly facing Willow face-to-face, Lucilline gestured simply. "Getting back on topic, what did you call me for?"
Willow quickly thrusted out the slip of paper she held.
"Here is your schedule, Young Master."
Lucilline received the slip of paper. He eyed the paper, reading the contents written down before throwing it back into his sole maidservant's hands. Nonchalant, he walked inside his bedroom from the balcony, shutting the door behind. The frantic chirps of the birds outside weren't to be heard anymore.
"Father requested for me to pick up a product. He will have a new item in his jewelry collection." Lucilline hummed. He leaned against a beige wall, crossing his arms across his chest.
"Is it another finished product of the store?" Willow questioned.
"Yes." Lucilline answered readily. "Father ordered for one of those expensive quartz earrings. They sell at a price of eighty silver ingots."
Willow's jaw had dropped wide open. "Eighty silver ingots? Has Duke Rubius gone crazy?"
"It just proves how obsessed he is with his collections." Lucilline was frank. He doesn't even let off his father when finding a person to complain about. "We'll leave right away. I don't want to waste time laundering around." His face doesn't change when remarking such straightforward words.
Lucilline moved towards the closet, slipping a swallowtail coat down from the hangar. A strange light brewed in his golden pair of eyes. Dressed in the black and white swallowtail coat, Lucilline suddenly gained an appearance of superiority.
"I will be waiting outside the manor." Willow quickly admitted to a familiar tactic, running out from the bedroom. The door closed.
Lucilline's eyebrows raised before lowering again. He retained an indifferent expression across his peerless face, his golden pupils swept to look at the corner of his room. In one corner was a small wooden table. It sat lonely, its four edges scrutinized of cheap quality. However, what sat on it was of utmost high caliber.
On top of the table was a vase. Historical patterns were painted across the surface, making it appear utterly precious. Laying inside the vase was a red spider lily.
The flower had dainty crimson red petals, which seemed to extend outwards for recognition.
Lucilline stared blankly at the red spider lily. That colour remained him of his dear mother's stained blood, creeping into the depths of his mouth and smearing across his lips.
He quickly saluted, his back ramrod straight and professional. Strung across his wrist, a bracelet of a copper bell rung twice before settling down. The garden and this copper bell were all that remained of Grand Duchess Rubius.
*****
At the jewelry store, Lucilline gladly engaged in a negotiation. His mischievous look resembled a sly black cat, with its slender legs and soft pink paws elegantly bypassing all obstacles. At last, Lucilline successfully lowered the original price of eighty silver ingots to fifteen.
The black-haired nobleman took the box of quartz earrings. He spoke with an indifferent expression. "Then, we'll be leaving now. I hope you have a good business."
The storeowner waved goodbye happily.
Lucilline and Willow walked out of the store, with the busy streets of Lydia Kingdom welcoming them. The noises of wheels and horse hooves against the cobblestone ground resounded, enveloping their small bodies in the fragrant scent of a Capital City.
"Do you think we did the right thing?" Lucilline asked. He looked forward with a straight face. By his side, Willow readily answered, "That old man set the price too high originally! Eighty silver ingots!?! You only see that kind of price in auctions."
Lucilline knew what Willow would say. He nodded. "I'm glad someone thinks the same way as I do."
The master and servant walked around the streets for a bit, their curious gazes flickering from corner to corner. At last, they had enough.
The silver-haired maidservant helped her Young Master board unto a prepared carriage, its magnificent crimson ribbons draping across its glass windows, and a miniature 'R' carved unto the iron walls. The white horses had fluffy silver manes, it's glimmers similar to the bubbles rising upon crashing streams. A lengthy black rope attached to the horses were in the coachman's hands.
Inside the carriage, Lucilline relaxed his body onto the comfortable cushions. He sunk into the mattress like a drowning man, allowing the waters to envelope over his last few breaths.
"Should I send the quartz earrings to Grand Duke Rubius immediately, Young Master?" Willow questioned. She held the small box of jewelry in her arms for safekeeping. Lucilline nodded curtly, his golden gaze lightly falling upon the small box, then fleetingly left. "You have my permission."
The carriage began moving.
The residence of Duke Rubius' manor was located at the back of a high mountain, with its luscious greenery to accompany the precious architecture. The road from the Capital City to the manor was a long one.
Willow hummed to herself, "I wonder what should I make for dinner tonight...?"
"Young Master," she gently looked to her master. "What do you think about lamb stew?"
"Have it done." Lucilline agreed, his fingers crossing one another. His black gloved hands reminded Willow of many sad things that happened in the past, thus dampening the maidservant's mood. Although it was not visible to her sight, Willow knew of the hideous scar that ruined her Young Master's left hand.
Although they formed a Sequence Contract, Willow was unable to bear the scars that donned her Young Master's left hand.
"Halt!!!" All of a sudden, the carriage came to a skidding stop, its wheels tickled upon the debris on the cobblestone path. Lucilline felt his body thrown forwards due to the sudden force, but Willow grabbed onto his arm, latching him back on the mattress.
The horses' hooves clashed messily, and soft neighs puffed out from their mouths.
"...shit." Willow swore underneath her breath. She was not careful enough, and the small box of quartz earrings in her hands had tumbled out onto the carriage floor! Quickly, she swiped the box back into her arms. If something actually happened to the product inside... then Young Master might kill me!
"Bandits!" A wail abruptly clamoured out of the coachman's throat.
Before thinking, Willow placed the box of jewelry aside, then leaped out of the carriage. Her racing figure was second to no other person, swiftly disposing of the bandits and robbers outside. The group of troublemakers had been tied to a tree, with leather rope binding their limbs. Their bodies have been checked for any hidden weapons, to which Willow would keep for herself.
The commotion came to a halt.
"These bandits are quite weak," Willow huffed, "I could tell that they were trailing after our carriage the whole time, but they were clearly underestimating House Rubius."
She signalled for the coachman to continue driving.
Climbing back inside the carriage, Willow was greeted with the exasperated expression of her Young Master. Lucilline had long opened the jewelry box, with the quartz earrings inside revealing a dangerous crack, splitting the jewelry into halves.
Willow: ...
Lucilline: !!!
"...Willow..." The black-haired nobleman fisted a bundle of his own hair, his golden eyes rimmed with red as he glared at his maidservant. "What do you have to say about this."
*****
"...please kill me, Young Master." Willow wailed.
To this, Lucilline ignored her pleas. In his bed chamber back in Duke Rubius' manor, the slender figure paced back and forth anxiously. He bit the tips of his black glove, allowing his white delicate teeth to tear through the silky fabric. The quartz earrings that I was tasked to purchase have been damaged. Father expects for the quartz earrings to be delivered tonight after dinner. What do I do...
The sun has already set below the horizon line.
He couldn't possibly return back to the jewelry store, purchase a second pair, and then make it back on time! If anything, that jewelry store had already closed!
"Forget it." Lucilline sighed, "I will admit my wrong to Father and face my punishment."
A hand clasped onto his ankle. Willow was slumped over on the carpet, "Young Master, aren't you going to kill me? I am ready to die."
Lucilline kicked away her hand, "Stop it, Willow. It wasn't your fault in the first place, but rather the bandits. If it weren't for them, the carriage wouldn't have needed to stop so fast and cause your hand to slip." His gaze darkened. If only I could have tortured those bandits a bit more...
He snapped out of it, brushing a hand through his black hair. What am I even thinking... this isn't the time for unnecessary bloodlust!
Lucilline allowed his handful of black hair to fall over his porcelain forehead, those strands tickling his soft malleable skin. His eyes were weary and contained a hint of dread.
That night, Lucilline stood before his father's bed chamber door. The giant wooden frame seemed to store everything he feared—forcing him to shift backwards a step. His heart weighed a bit heavier than before. The black-haired nobleman felt his hand curl into a fist, his nails pinning into his palms.
Ever since seven years ago... the day of Rachelle Rubius' death, Lucilline felt something inside of him change. He could also tell that Anderson changed too.
His father—who used to freely smile and laugh—had reverted into a cold shell.
Over the past seven years, Anderson had caught a cold, constantly coughing and trying to stifle his sneezes. Despite how many years have passed, this cold have never loosened its hold over Grand Duke Rubius' health.
It was merely a small cold—but it never left.
This cold made Anderson a different man. Lucilline feared of what his father had become. He deeply remembered the imagery of his father brutally killing Orion. The pieces of flesh and intestines spilling everywhere was like an exploding volcano, the lava overflowing the entire underground basement. A madman—his father became a madman.
Lucilline pinched himself on the cheek, allowing a pang of pain to run across his veins.
Knock the door right now, Lucilline.
The black-haired nobleman stepped forward, his knuckles softly rapping against the wooden door. "Ahem," he cleared his throat. "Father, it's me."
A moment of silence followed afterwards.
Then, a low croak resounded from the room, "Come in."
Gently, Lucilline pushed the door open. The inside of the bed chamber contained a dark and musky smell, as if cretins of the abyss were lurking in the shadows. Lucilline flicked the lights on, allowing a glow to illuminate the grand room.
Anderson sat up in his king-sized bed, his blankets falling down from his shoulders, resembling cascading currents. His mahogany red hair had some irregular strands of white, and his silver eyes lost its once sharp glare. "...what is it, Lucy?" His voice came out in a rough gruff, as if bricks were scraping against the cobblestone ground.
The black-haired nobleman fiddled with his thumbs.
"...father," he gathered all of his innate courage, trying to summon words to form on the tips of his tongue. Lucilline balled his hands into fists, with wrinkles folding upon his black gloves.
At last, he bowed sharply. "Please punish me severely!"
Anderson was unamused. "Lucy... give me an outline of the situation first. Then, I will deem whether you are fit for a punishment."
Lucilline could feel his mouth shaking, the edges of his lips uncontrollably trembling. "B-but... I have made a serious error in my recent task—"
"Speak clearly, Lucy." Anderson groaned, a small cough spilling from his mouth.
"Ah, yes, Father." Lucilline complied.
He bit his lips, then admitted, "I broke the quartz earrings you wanted."
A short silence followed, then... a loud noise exploded!
Anderson coughed, as if his lungs awakened its own consciousness and were squirming out from his body! His figure trembled from an onslaught of pain, his shoulders shaking, with the illusion of a mountain crushing his back. Anderson slapped a hand across his mouth,trying to stifle his coughs. However, that wasn't enough to hide how serious this was.
Lucilline's golden eyes widened like saucers.
"Father!" He rushed to the Grand Duke's bedside, his eyes perfectly capturing a sight of sickening red staining his father's hands. "You're coughing blood!"
Anderson shoved him aside. Another spew of bloodied coughs were squeezed out.
Droplets of blood spilled across the blankets.
"...what do I do... what do I do...?" Lucilline felt himself being torn apart in halves. At the sight of his father's blood, he could already see Anderson's lifeless corpse before him. The black-haired nobleman slumped over the bed side, the smell of pungent blood rotting in his nose.
"Don't panic, Lucy." Anderson gritted his teeth, with beads of blood trailing down his cheeks. "I won't die just yet—at least not until a month."
The back of his hand wiped his lips, "Write a letter to the Royal family. Ask for an Royal Healer, and arrange for them to come to our manor immediately." Anderson's eyes were hollow, with his silver yes slowly beginning to dim. "If I don't recover immediately, then write letters to each of the noble families regarding my absence. I won't be able to attend to the future meetings."
"Write a letter to Zephyratt. Try to let him to return sooner, but do not leak any information about my illness to outside." Anderson frowned, "Don't let anyone know about this."
After laying his father to sleep, Lucilline scurried out of his bedroom. He washed his hands about twenty times in total, scrubbing the soap across his palms. Even when his slender hands were about to peel off skin from the rough friction, Lucilline still wanted to wash harder.
The bathroom door slammed open.
Willow rushed in, "Young Master! Get a hold of yourself!" From the burning of her Sequence Contract scar, she could feel her master's pain. The red hydrangea flower on her chest singer past her flesh, the heat swallowing her heart whole! However, the silver-haired maid still lunged to her master, her hand gripping onto Lucilline's shoulder, squeezing tightly.
Lucilline gasped for air, he could feel his intestines squirming in pain.
"I'm fine, Willow." At last, he caught himself. Shrugging the maidservant off of himself, Lucilline slowly crawled back up from the floor.
His reflection in the mirror was an ugly yet beautiful sight.
He wanted to tear apart himself in the mirror—but his face and delicate cheekbones reminded him of his mother. "I have work to do." Lucilline reminded himself. By his side, Willow's pair of purple eyes gazed upon him with concern.
That entire night, Lucilline was writing letters to different noble families about Duke Rubius' absence to future meetings. He excused his absence as a "break".
Naturally, the letter for a Royal Mage was sent first. Willow was ordered to send the letter to the Royal Palace first thing at midnight.
Alone in his bed chamber, Lucilline swing his legs absentmindedly. What would he do if his father's illness became incurable? At first, it was merely a small cold. However, it turned into him coughing up blood! What if... he is unable to survive...?
That thought haunted him.
Lucilline stood up from his chair, with the wooden legs skidding across the carpet.
He headed first thing to their family's library (in the manor). It was a spacious room bombarded by bookcases and loads of books. All those books wrote on the art of war, medicine, history, and music. Lucilline read through all the medicinal books. On the pages wrote about herbal medicine, and how herbs were often more useful than healing magic.
After all, a mage's ability can only be so limited.
That night, Lucilline studied diligently. He wrote fifty pages worth of notes until the sun rose up from the horizon.
*****
The next morning, Lucilline tucked those fifty pages of notes in his bag. He intended on reading more medicinal books in S Academy's library—anything to help his father recover. Lucilline rode a carriage until arriving near the school, then got off.
He didn't need to gather attention to himself. He could only wish that nobody would bother him—
All of a sudden, he felt a force slam into him!
The smell of sweet flowers flooded his nose. It reminded him of that floral shop where he'd been kidnapped underneath. Before Lucilline could prepare himself, his leather bag slipped out from his hands—tumbling straight into the water fountain! A burst of water gushed up! This torrent not only soaked Lucilline from the brim of his head to toes, but also... everything inside his leather bag.
At that moment, Lucilline felt everything fall still.
A rare feeling of peace gently nudged him.
Then, hatred gushed into his veins. It was like an endless stream of acid, searing every blood vessel, and stringing every red until an explosion of fire engulfed all. The black-haired nobleman could hardly control himself. His copper bell made barely a sound, its chirps blown out like a candlelight.
Gradually, his golden eyes flickered to the culprit behind his bag.
"Umm..." a teenage girl stammered. Her chestnut brown hair was rough at the edges, while the lilac blue in her eyes spoke fear. Lucilline did not recognize this girl. Perhaps she was a transfer.
"I apologize for making such a havoc!" She scrambled for her words.
Little did she know, Lucilline had long since blocked out her words. All he could hear was his own seething thoughts, like sharp poisonous venom. I am going to kill her.