Ren
APRIL 1998
The final bell rang on a Friday in early April, and the river of kids washed me down the stairs and flooded out the side doors into a pool of backpacks and hectic chatter.
It was a blue-bird sunny day at Ives High. The heat of the sun hitting my face felt so good. I walked toward where I knew he'd be.
And sure enough, I saw him —my Gio. His arms crossed, effortlessly leaning against the telephone pole in the sun by the school library, waiting for me. Even after being together for over a year, I still had difficulty believing he was all mine sometimes.
His olive skin glowed on a day like this as he watched me approach through his sexy, squinted eyes. To me, he seemed more like a dream I concocted in the night than a regular seventeen-year-old skateboarder kid in high school.
He was dressed up more than usual, wearing a dressy black and white button-up bowling shirt, dark pants, and leather shoes. Our bags were already packed and in his car. We had big after-school plans today.
"Hey, Babe," I said, jumping into his waiting arms with a wide grin.
"Hey," he said low, letting his hand glide down my figure to my lower back. I was wearing a simple black spaghetti strap dress short to my mid-thigh over a white t-shirt.
"Did I tell you you look damn good in this dress yet?
"Yes," I laughed.
"Well, I love it," he said, pulling me closer. "How come you don't wear dresses for me more often?"
He was referring to the fact that I only reserved dresses for special occasions and almost never to school.
"I have, several times," I said cheekily.
"Twice," he clarified.
Maybe I could have more often, but let's be honest: in my high school in the 90s, only ten percent of girls wore dresses to class, and that included the goth chicks wearing their long dramatic black gowns.
You kind of stuck out in a dress amongst the ubiquitous t-shirts and ripped jeans.
"You ready to go see Aerosmith tonight?" I said, changing the subject.
"Fuck yeah!" he grinned back at me. "I still can't believe your dad scored them for free on the radio!"
He brushed my long bangs aside and kissed me. It was a brief kiss, but his kisses never ceased to move me—that this boy loved me above everyone else, and I melted into his lips every time.
We hopped in his car, drove away from school, and off to San Francisco. We had yet to go on a date night in the big city, and I felt so grown up tonight. I brought my make-up in my backpack and did my hair and eyes on the way while he drove.
We wound through the hills of Marin down the 101 and into the tunnel, which shrouded the car in darkness and created a sense of anticipation. As we emerged into brightness again, San Francisco and the bay opened before us in all its glory.
The Golden Gate Bridge glowed immense and red in the afternoon light, contrasting with the blue of the bay and the glittering white city beyond, beckoning us across.
I clasped his hand as we drove over the famous bridge that awes me to this day.
But I had to release his hand once we entered the heart of the city. He was a good driver, but even he was nervous about stalling his stick-shift Chevy Cavalier on the massive incline of Nob Hill. After we crested the top, passing the big cathedral, we descended again towards the financial district.
After a full twenty minutes of circling, we found a free parking spot and left the car for the night. We'd take transit to the concert, and my mom had reserved a hotel on Market Street. To say we were stoked for the night ahead was an understatement.
After a long walk from our parking spot, we arrived in Chinatown, where we could poke around in some shops before dinner. We entered a large store with four-foot-tall green dragons at the door.
The place was a maze. Walls and isles in a haphazard arrangement. Products of every imaginable thing stacked high to the ceiling. Our curiosity took us here and there, sometimes lingering to study something peculiar. We wandered in deeper and deeper.
"I've got some big news to tell you," I said at last, passing him a pretty jade stone heart I found.
"What? he said, taking it, running its smooth surface between his fingers.
"I got in!" I beamed.
"Got in?! Which one?" he asked eagerly, setting the stone back in the box.
"The one." The only one that really mattered.
"The Academy of Art?" His eyes went wide.
"Yes! I just got my acceptance letter this morning." And with an enormous grin, I pulled it out of my purse and handed it over.
"Hella yeah!" His smile mirrored mine, followed by the biggest hug, squeezing me tightly. "Congratulations, baby! Screw Berkeley. I could never have gotten in there anyway."
I had applied to five schools. This was my 3rd acceptance letter (which included my two backup schools). I got my first rejection from UC Berkeley, and I was waiting on one other that was just for fun.
I hadn't received a letter from that one yet, but it was so prestigious and difficult to get into that my expectations were beyond low.
"It's all falling into place." I smiled.
"It all happens for a reason," he affirmed smugly. Gio was always one to mention fate. He picked up the little jade heart again and then grabbed another, and we made our way back to the front of the store.
"I'm pretty sure the Design Building is for both Graphics and Architecture, and it's just down the street from our hotel. We could walk by!" I said.
"We can come here all the time!" Gio said as he passed the two little jade hearts to the cashier and paid the man $4. The cashier passed him back in a small paper bag.
"Well, I don't know about here, here," I laughed at his exuberance. "But yeah. The whole city will be ours to explore."
"This is for you," he said, kissing me and pressing one jade heart in my palm, the other one disappearing into his back pocket.
This had been our little plan since we started thinking about my college applications last fall. Gio and I had been haunted by nervousness all summer, thinking this next year would be our last —what with me being a senior and he still only a junior.
But we decided I'd go to school in San Francisco for Graphic Design, and a year later, he'd follow me to the same college or one nearby for Landscape Design—two designers in art school. We were so stoked.
♥︎♥︎♥︎
At the night's end, we took a cab back to our hotel near the ferry terminal. I'd never stayed at a hotel without my parents before. This whole trip was filled with new adventures and pushed me to realize I was now eighteen... and an adult.
The concert was amazing and played all our favorite songs from 'Livin' on the Edge' to 'Love in an Elevator' to 'Cryin'. We recounted the concert in the cab, but hands down, our favorite part was when they played "Crazy" during the encore.
Gio had stood behind me, our fingers intertwined as we both sang the words to the song. It reminded me of when he had moved to LA at the end of 7th grade.
I thought I'd lost him and I'd never see him again. But tonight, he held me close —like he'd never let me go.
We trembled with giddy excitement as we attempted to unlock our hotel room door with the keycard—swiping it five times before we got it unlocked. We rushed in, eager to see what the room that would be ours for the night looked like.
Gio sighed in ecstasy as he flopped backward onto the plush king bed. I walked to the large, curtained window, pulling it back to reveal a breathtaking view of the bay bridge as it sparked in the night over the bay.
He quietly came up behind me and hugged my waist, setting his chin on my shoulder. We looked at the view together silently, both in awe.
"This is incredible," he said.
"The view?"
"The view. The night. You— alone with me all night in this room. He kissed my neck. "I love you, Ren."
I turned in his arms to look at him, draping mine over his shoulder, "I love you too."
"This is the first night of our lives together here in the city."
A loving smile curled my lips, "I can't wait." Then, the air left my lungs in a whoosh as he threw me over his shoulder.
"I can't wait to get you naked on that big bed!"
Ha! Wait, did he just growl?
It had been over a year since we started having sex, and we must have done it like 200 times by now, but Gio loved on me like it was the first time all over again tonight. Taking it slow, building up the anticipation till I begged him to take me.
I woke up before Gio that morning. Usually, when we woke up together, we'd either be rushing to get to school by 7:35 am, or he'd be up early to go to work with his mom.
Only on Sundays could he sleep in. Unfortunately, I was always at my mom's on Sunday mornings.
Even though we had gotten a King bed, we had spooned most of the night. He loved holding me close in the night or, at the very least, resting his hand on me.
I picked up his wrist and gently slid out carefully, placing it back on the bed. He murmured and stirred but didn't wake.
I tiptoed silently to the bathroom to go pee. When I returned, I slid ninja-style under the pile of white sheets so as not to wake him. For a while, I lay there watching him sleep a bit longer.
A sliver of light through the curtain hit his face. His dark eyelashes perched above the tan skin of his cheekbones. One naked arm laying out on the white of the comforter. He was perfect.
My mind wandered in and out of different thoughts: from what we would do that morning, to school on Monday, to my future, college, and beyond - and how Gio fit into all that.
Would we really live out this dream in San Francisco? Would he always be with me? Were we meant to be? Would we someday get married and have kids? Grow old together?
What would he look like older? A sexy silver fox... yummy.
"What are you thinking about?" Gio said abruptly.
I realized I didn't know how long I had been staring blankly at the wall with a stupid smile on my face. His eyes were now open —he caught me.
"Nothing," I lied.
"I know that look. Tell me." He was always so in tune with my thoughts.
"Gio, so... so you believe in like..." I started second-guessing myself.
"What?"
"You know, fate and everything?" I asked hesitantly
"Wow, babe, those are some deep thoughts for first thing on a Saturday morning," he chuckled, pulling me further under the white sheets so our bodies were touching again.
He didn't care. He loved deep conversations.
"Yeah, we've talked about that," he replied.
"Well, what do you think... our fate is?" I asked, passing the buck to him.
"Fuck if I know!" he laughed incredulously. He laid down flat on his back, still cradling me with his left arm. "If we knew that, babe, life would be too easy." He finished, fixing me with his stunning eyes.
"Well, like, what about the whole soulmate thing? Do you believe in that? That people are meant for each other?"
"Absolutely," he said earnestly.
"So, do you think..." I continued cautiously and tried carefully to pick my words, "You'll eventually find your soulmate?"
"Yeah..." he breathed.
And with the most serious face, looking deeply into my eyes, said, "And she'll be tall and blond, with huge boobs—like that Claudia Schiffer poster that you made me get rid of."
A huge grin spread wide across his face.
"Babe!"
"I'm joking, I'm joking... I love your boobs."
"Gio!"
"Come on, Ren! You already know!" He tickled me right where he knew he could get me.
I laughed and squealed and tried to escape him. We wrestled in bed for a minute, tickling me so hard I was nearly out of breath from laughing. Then he pinned me from above and let me calm down.
"Already know what?" I pressed, not letting it go. I smiled up at him, both our eyes twinkling.
"I mean..." he continued, coming down on one elbow, smiling too as he brushed the hair away from my face—his face just a foot from mine.
He became serious as he played with the necklace he had given me on my bare chest. Then he flicked his forested eyes to mine again as he said, "I think I might be looking right at her."
♥︎♥︎♥︎