Gabriel's POV
I sat there frozen, staring at Nicola, as she revealed everything that had been in her heart for the last six years. Hearing her say that we were never friends was like a punch in my stomach.
She was right. A friend wouldn't have judged her so harshly. I had been so in love with Sarah that I had felt protective towards her, and I hadn't wanted her to get hurt, so I had brushed aside Nicola.
I hadn't considered Nicola's feelings and never bothered to consider if she was capable of hurting her sister or not. I didn't bother to find out her true intentions and came up with my own conclusion.
So here I am today sitting in front of the girl I had loved as my best friend, who had been there for me through my rocky relationship with my parents. Who had supported me in everything and never missed a single one of my football matches and had cheered for me when my parents had always been too busy to ever show up to any of my games, tell me that, we are just father and aunt to my kids and nothing more.
I pleaded with her with my eyes because I was too ashamed to speak after hearing what an ass I had actually been. But she turned away from me and left.
Fuck! I'm such an idiot! I thought, putting my head in my hands and pulling my hair in desperation.
How? Why did I do that to her? Why did I think so badly of her? I had just tossed her aside like she had meant nothing!
I remember how my mother had come up to me gushing about what a great pick Sarah was and how she had been afraid I might have fallen for Nicola and how relieved she was.
She had gone on and on about how plain Nicola was and how pretty Sarah was and how she couldn't understand how those two could possibly be sisters.
I had said nothing, absolutely nothing. I was just so happy to finally be with Sarah that I hadn't cared what my mother said about my best friend.
She hadn't been important to me at the time. But now, hearing her speak out made me realise what a selfish prick I had been.
I had just assumed for six years that she was in love with me and she had made no effort to contact me all these years because she was just being petty about me not choosing her over her sister.
Not once did I realise that I had fucked up so badly on our friendship that she was now considering me a stranger.
We need to clear this. I had to apologize. For the sake of Livy and Bella, we can't just stay strangers! They will get caught in the middle of the strain between us.
Nicola is going to be involved in the kid's life. So I need to build a relationship with her where we could communicate without feeling like we are walking on eggs shells. I told myself.
She said we were never friends. I felt my heart break, remembering that. No, I can't just let her leave again without at least apologising to her.
If she never wanted to see me again, then that's exactly what I deserved, I know. But I can't let her go. She means more to me than just Livy and Bella's aunt, and I can't continue letting things be the way that it was.
She won't forgive me, but at least she would know I'm sorry.
With renewed determination, I ran upstairs to see her.
I went up to her room and knocked on her door. I waited a while but there was no answer. So I gently opened the door.
The room was dark, but a bump on the bed could be seen through the illumination cast by the light in the hall.
I walked up to the bed quietly, making sure not to disturb her if she was asleep.
She was facing the other way, so I went around the bed and softly called her name.
There was no response. I walked nearer to her and knelt down beside her, looking at her face as she slept.
Her eyelashes were wet, which meant she had cried herself to sleep. She had cried because of me, I thought. Feeling shame.
There was a strand of hair on her face that I touched, gently tucking it behind her ear.
Now that she was asleep, I kept staring at her, unsure whether to wake her up or not.
She looked so peaceful while she slept. Something I hadn't seen on her face the whole trip.
Maybe I shouldn't wake her up. I will talk to her in the morning before she leaves.
After deciding, I stood up, bending down to give her kiss before I left. Probably, this is going to be the only time I would get to touch her.
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Sorry, it's going a bit slow. I am just not satisfied with these chapters.
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