"When will I be able to go back to normal?" I asked Luchesi as he tried his hardest to finish the pancakes he was making for me. He grunted and turned around with his lip taken between his teeth.
"Physically or mentally?" he asked, making me grown and cover my head with my arms.
I had been away from him for almost 12 hours and I can't even think properly. I missed the way he was before we left for Italy. When he was cheeky and funny and laughed. The cold looks he gave me earlier today shocked me and terrified me. He never looked at anything that sinister and evil, it was as if I wasn't even human to him, like I was just another passing soul.
Luchesi had tried his hardest to stay off the topic of him, but we both knew that it was still fresh in the air. I left my kidnapper in the dust and I sit here now with his older brother who once abused him. It was too much for anybody to forget but I do give credit to Luchesi for at least trying. He isn't as bad as Harry made him out to be, maybe he did change for Harry.
From what I thought about Luchesi was that he was just an evil person, but after spending this time with him and getting to know him, he is just as broken as Harry, if not worse. He wants a relationship with his brother after so many years of having to avoid him and degrade him. He wants a family and he wants love just like any other human is bound to want.
I watched as he maneuvered around his large kitchen. He was muscular just like his brother as well as tall, not as tall as Harry, but still up there. He had a bit more upper arm muscles than Harry did, but just by a bit. He was flexed and tense similar to Harry when he is uncomfortable with the situation or he's trying to hide something. I wonder if Luchesi is doing the same thing.
"What's wrong, Luchesi?" I asked making his head snap in my direction and look at me.
"N-Nothing, nothing's wrong" he said shaking his head quickly, too quickly.
"You are a Styles, I can tell your mannerisms better than anybody in world" I said making him sigh and take the pancakes off the pan. "What's wrong?" I asked once more once he placed the pancakes on the plates.
"It's just..." he began as he set the plate in front of me. "...all my life Harry always went above and beyond to make the people he hated miserable. I am definitely one of the people he hates. He was fully capable of killing me on that balcony, I know those were his intentions" he said making me tilt my head in confusion.
"What are you asking me?" I asked making him rest his hands on the kitchen table and lean back.
"Why did he stop when you told him to?" he asked making me raise an eyebrow. "I know if one of the others boys came out and told him to stop it would only encourage him more, but how were you able to stop him?"
"What are you implying?" I asked making him shrug his shoulders.
"I'm saying, maybe I am right, maybe Harry feels something towards you" he said making me shake my head. "Maybe he does feel love"
"No if he really 'loved' me, he would have came after me the moment I left his office" I said making Luchesi shrug to himself.
"Just throwing it out there" he said, running his fingers through his hair.
"He's incapable of love" I said making him chuckle and shake his head.
There was no way Harry can ever love. He is too broken and too cold to even mutter the word never mind feel it. He flinches every time Sophia and Liam kiss, I could only imagine what he would be like as a boyfriend. There is no way a man who has never been looked at in that way could be capable of such a thing. If he could only see the beauty of love, his life could be completely different.
This goes back to the man across from me. He was one of the people that showed Harry the miseries of life, much early than any child should see. He saw death, lies, abuse, and addiction more when he was a child than some people see in their entire lives and it was all because of the man in front of me. Although I would never in my life place all the blame on Luchesi Styles.
Their father was another large factor in Harry distraught. Their father showed Luchesi how to dominate everything and intimidate everyone, including Harry. At such a young age Harry had to grow up and fend for himself against not just one power threat but two, on top of having to turn away from his mother. I could feel such pain for the man, but at the same time I still despise what he has done.
"Do you mind me asking something personal?" he asked making me chew my food slower at his question.
"Depends, what is it?" I said making him sigh.
"What happened in his office that spooked you out?" he asked making me suck in a harsh breath.
"You make me sane!"
"Not enough to make me stay"
"Please"
"Arabella"
"No"
"Goodbye"
Flashbacks of his words were still deeply etched into my brain as I remembered his broken face, the way his eyes were begging with every single morsel of emotion they held but the way his mouth refused to speak those emotions. It was something that will haunt me for my life and I don't ever think I will be able to un-see his reaction. He looked like I had broken him. Did I?
"It's too soon" I said making Luchesi nod and rub his eyes.
"I understand" he said walking around the counter towards my body that was sitting on the stool. "I know exactly how you feel right now, I was once in the same position" he said making my jaw hang wide open.
"You were?" I asked making him nod.
"It's a long story that's for another day, but long story short there was a girl that once stole my heart and never had the intentions of keeping it safe" he said making my heart ache for the man.
He was human, just like the rest of us. He has been through heart break even after the antagonizing life he had to live with as a child, he still had miseries to come. Someone took his heart and broke it even more than it already had been broken. I truly feel for the man. He was abused his whole life and was basically forced to abuse his brother and mother just to keep himself safe, then he went through heart break.
"I'm sorry" I said wrapping my hands around his neck as his went behind my back.
"Me too" he said rubbing my upper back for comfort. We let go and he took a step back before giving me a caring smile. "I'm going up to bed, you can choose any room to sleep in, good-night" he said making me smile.
"Good-night" I whispered as he walked out of the kitchen. I sat by myself with the almost finished pancakes in front of me.
What was I going to do? There was no way for me to contact my brothers considering they think I'm dead. I'm not going back to England and waiting for Harry because that will only cause even more problems for us and asking Luchesi is a bit much. There was no way for me to get home. I have to find a way by myself but I can only get so much in Europe with a name like Casper.
I wish none of this ever happened. Coming to Europe, meeting Harry, getting attached. If I could take it back I would, but I don't know if that is what my heart really wants. The times I have seen Harry happy and not screaming were some of the best moments in my life. Watching such a grumpy man laugh is like seeing a double rainbow just like watching Harry as powerful as he is allow me to boss him around occasionally.
I do miss the times where we were able to just sit and talk about things. Talking about our families and back stories and everything about where we came from allowed me to really figure out who I was without having the shadow of my mother hanging over me. The words were never said but I could tell my mother aspired me to be exactly like she was and I'm not sure anymore if that's who I truly want to be.
My head dropped into my hands as I sat there and thought about where I was going to be headed. As I rubbed my eyes I heard the front door burst open with a bang, loud enough that could have caused the door hinges to come flying off. I froze in my spot to listen for what that could have been.
I heard heavy footsteps slamming all around the front living room but I did not dare to get up and peek out of the kitchen door. I listened even closer to hear a few strings of curse words fall from the intruders lips. I picked up the fork that I was eating my pancakes with and quietly got up from the stool. I walked towards the door on my tiptoes, trying to be as quiet as possible.
I pushed open the swinging door with one hand making sure to keep the fork at eye level in case the intruder was right at the door. Once the door was wide enough for me to slip through, I quietly did so before shutting and turning around. I looked all around the living room to find it completely empty. I walked around the large plant that had been blocking the other side before finally seeing who the 'intruders' were.
I let out and ear-piercing scream of bloody murder before dropping the fork on the ground.
Sitting out the couch, was a shirtless Harry with his belt undone and zipper pushed down, but that was not what made me scream. Straddling each of his thighs were two busty blondes who were clad in only trashy, stringy thongs and tall stiletto heels, biting bruises into his tattooed neck
A/N:
okay so I just want to make an announcement really quickly!
I know I have been really sucking with these updates and i'm sorry but its been so hectic lately. I just got back from a wedding out of state and I was gone for a while so i have makeup work, finals are around the corner and I haven't even started to study. My recital is coming up soon and just so much more and I really haven't had the time to just sit down and write so I just want every one to know a few things.
1. I HAVE NOT GIVEN UP ON THIS BOOK, quite opposite in fact. I have a lot planned and I can't wait for you guys to see whats in store.
2. For the next few weeks there will be INCREDIBLE slow updates which I will make up for during the summer
3. I am going to start pre-writing chapters during the summer so I never fall behind on updates!!!
SO FOR NOW HANG IN THERE AND I PROMISE WHEN UPDATES RETURN THEY WILL BE BIGGER AND BETTER THAN EVER!!
Love you all and thanks for the support as always!!