Paul was incredibly busy making arrangements for any and all upcoming conflicts. He was making negotiations with the Naib of the current sietch to group together so we would have more power. It was odd to see this side of him; powerful, commanding, and in charge. He had complete confidence in what he was saying, what he wanted, and how he was going to get it.
"I'm not telling you to work with us," Paul told his comrade, "I'm asking, and advising, that we work together. I don't want to see your people become prisoners to the Harkonnens any more than I want my sietch to make it out of this alive."
The Naib straightened and eyed him. "We will fight with you since you are so insistent on it. Don't let this be the wrong choice, or we may never trust you with the lives of my people again."
I watched Paul nod and walk away from their round table and make his way to me. Paul's gaze softened as he met my eyes, his harsh and cold front melting just slightly for me. "At least we have some allies now. I'm hoping that my message will have reached home and your father has attempted to make some connections."
We wanted to rush back home as quickly as possible to make war plans, knowing that the trip would take several hours. But Paul was insistent we solidify any plans with the Naib that harboured us before anything, not only to recognize their hospitality but also to protect them, not only us.
"I'm sure both of our parents are doing their best. It is going to be okay, Paul." I attempted to reassure him, but I don't know how convincing my words could be.
Lady Jessica immediately departed for home once we knew what needed to be done. It has been a few hours since, so we could only hope she has been able to make some kind of progress in alliances or securing our soldiers.
He gave me a small smile. "I know it will be okay as long as I know you're safe."
Paul had yet to share what he truly experienced during his transformation, but I know something is different. He has changed, in what way I don't know. But he always seems to be one step ahead, as if he knew what was going to happen. He even looked older, wiser. It made me wonder if he saw me as foolish.
I giggled at his cute words of comfort. It made me feel young and in love again with no worry of impending war.
Paul's eyes narrowed and he gave me a look of seriousness. "I'm being honest, Lia. I care about you too much to have to worry about your safety. I won't be able to focus or lead a war if I know you're in danger."
I gently kissed his cheek, my heart warm. It felt like it has been a while since I was reminded of how much he loved me, but this definitely did it. "I will be safe, Paul. Please don't worry about me."
He grabbed my chin and kissed me properly, holding us there for a moment. I missed how good he tasted and felt myself melting under his touch.
"I will always worry." He breathed and kissed my forehead. "Let's get going soon, yeah?"
I nodded and couldn't help but smile. It was nice to know he still made me warm and fuzzy with the simplest of things.
The two of us gathered what little we had and set off to make our way home. It was hopefully going to be a quick trip, maybe cut the time into half if we managed to wormride the majority of the trip back.
When we stepped back into the bright light of the desert suddenly I could see Paul so much clearer. It was as if his soul was pulled from his body and placed into this new, bigger, broader one. Maybe he was standing straighter, holding his chest higher. He was still Paul, just... more.
Suddenly I felt like the same Lia I was on Caladan, eyeing Paul Atreides during his training and sneaking looks at his toned arms. I was a child again, unable to take my eyes off of him except this time Paul was mine.
I didn't say anything, but Paul caught my eye and gave me a shy smile as if he could read my thoughts. I couldn't help but giggle to myself as I fawned over my husband.
But as we trekked through the sand his features seemed to darken and his steps slowed. I slowed beside him, catching the quick change in his expression.
"What's wrong Paul?" I asked him softly, gently grabbing his forearm. "Are you alright?"
He stilled and nodded his head. "Yeah, I'm alright. I just... Everything is new, Lia. Everything I feel, hear smell, taste... Even my thoughts are new, I've never thought this way before. I've never thought these things before." He shook his head and grimaced as if he was trying to shake the thoughts from his head.
I cupped his cheek with my hand. "I don't understand, sweetheart. Are you alright?"
He nodded to reassure me. "I'm alright, yes. I'm just... Adapting. My head is so busy and full, everything I think just feels so... intrusive..." He stared at the ground for a second before looking back up to meet my eyes. "I don't have to words to explain it. I also don't want you to worry. I am okay, I just need to adapt."
I had no idea what he meant, but I nodded anyway. I wish I could take whatever confusion he was feeling and take the burden as my own. The last thing I wanted was for Paul to shoulder more than was on his plate. He was the Kwisatz Haderach afterall.
Wow. I had yet to even process that thought, but the reminder of what Paul claimed to be sent shivers down my arms. I still had yet to comprehend what the Kwisatz Haderach was, never so much as accept him as my husband.
We continued on our way through the desert, eager to make it home as soon as possible. We were preparing to make use of the desert power and call a sand worm, when Paul spoke again to me.
"Leto is strong, you know."
I watched as he toyed with a thumper in his hands, readying it. I sighed and stared off as thoughts of my son consumed my mind as if Paul could hear them.
"Of course he is," I agreed that he was as strong as a small baby could be. "He will be okay. We will get home soon."
Paul found a spot for the thumb and dug it into the group, setting it off. The strong vibrations shook my body and I took a step to steady myself.
"I love him more than words," my husband grabbed my hand and smiled, leading us away from the thumper. "Thank you for such a beautiful gift. Thank you for my family."
I smiled at his affection, wondering if the Kwisatz Haderach was just loving and touchy by nature. "You're so sweet today."
I thought perhaps it was the thought of losing him but I easily reciprocated this affection. We continued a little further away from the thumper and I could see the moving sand of a sandworm moving towards the thumper a few miles away from where we stood.
I readied myself for the task of worm riding and snuck a glance at Paul who was frowning in the direction of the worm. I mimicked his features, wondering what was wrong.
"Are you okay-"
"It's moving towards us."
My eyes snapped across the horizon and I could see the familiar path curving from the original thumper and heading now toward us. Fast.
"Something is wrong." Paul said calmly, but this was not a calm matter. He grabbed my arm and quickly pulled me with him as he began to run.
"Where are we going?" I yelled.
"We're running!" He shouted back, which terrified me even more.
The sandworm was catching up fast, moving parallel to the direction we were running. My heart was beating so fast in my chest I wasn't even sure it was there anymore. I had to make it back to my son. My husband couldn't leave me again. We were going to find a way on this thing safely.
But just as those thoughts came, the worm abruptly turned towards us and cut off our path. The next thing I remember is being sent up into the air, losing Paul's grip, and another pair of arms catching me and putting me to sleep.
***
hi loves i wish i had an excuse this time but i don't i just forgot lol. my semesters fly faster than i can remember this exists. thanks for the patience! i hope you haven't forgotten anything, go back and read a few chapters back if it helps. i'm going to try and remember to post the next one soon because it's like half written. anyway, happy midnight reading!
with love,
via <3