"Have you ever watched the movie The Duff?"
"Are you saying I'm ugly and fat?"
Leo rolls his eyes and slams his arms to his sides. "No. What I mean is... have you ever seen Pretty Woman?"
No shit! Who hasn't? It's a masterpiece.
My vision stays straight ahead, staring at the teenage stupidity in front of me. "Are you saying I'm a prostitute?" I ask seriously, pushing in the bud to my earphone.
He signs dramatically and keeps trying to explain what he means, but chokes up. "You know what? Never mind."
"Okay! You got it dude," I blurt, turning around to walk away. "See you back at school."
Leo is a bad influence on my life. Somehow, he smooth talked me into skipping school again and I fell for it. I faked being sick. Woke up extremely early to put a hot rag on my head in case my mom did a temp check, but she was already running late, and left without seeing if I was lying.
I kept thinking about our situation, and how I just let someone that's not human trail me around all day. The only answer I came up with is that I was lonely before. No one pays any mind to me, and I keep telling myself that I like it, but I hate it. I'm so tired of going unnoticed.
But I'll never admit that to anyone.
"Not so fast, Forrest," Leo blurts, looping his arm with mine to swing me back around. Hello, whip lash.
I look at the afternoon crowd and quickly drop my arm. We have a 'no unexplainable touching' policy in public, and he just broke it spinning me around like a kid on a merry-go-round that has no control of their neck.
I fix my messy hair, pushing it away from my face.
"I wasn't even running," I clap back to his reference, knowing I am, in fact, running. It's what I do best. "What are we doing at this abomination of a place?"
Leo's not-so-discreet eyes roll down my overalls. He's judging me without having to say anything. His arms cross over his chest, and he's looking at me lazily, with a small grin on his lips.
"You said you want to be seen, right?" Leo is behind me, his hands on my waist as he pushes me forward. Not to make a scene, I walk toward the bright store, already overwhelmed. Even the mannequins didn't have clothes on. "Lumberjack chic doesn't work. Maybe as a plumber it does."
Once we enter the store, my eyes lock on the shortest shorts known to man. You need a booty to wear booty shorts, and that, I do not have. "And that does?" I point at the half mannequin and turn my phone toward it, as if I'm showing someone. I will much rather spend the money in my savings on clothes that cover my goodies, not broadcast them.
"Sure, if you want to get kicked out of school." He winks. "But first things first. Before we do this, you're going to have to trust me and be open-minded. Can you do that?"
Dryly, I say, "What I can do is tell you that this is bullshit. At least in Pretty Woman, Edward paid for everything."
Leo dug in his pocket and acted as if he was pulling his phone out. He imitated typing and scrolling. "What are you doing?" I ask, arching my brow.
"Checking my bank account. I should be able to cover it if you stay in the clearance rack. Ghost pay sucks," Leo exclaims, earning a laugh from me. "So, what's an automatic no?"
I hum and scan my eyes around the colorful boutique, mentally crossing half of it off. "Um... no pink. I hate pink. Skirts are not my favorite, but it'll work. Maybe. No to dresses. My shoulders are weird, so I prefer sleeves. And my boobs are barely boobs, so no attention to them. My legs are weird too. I think I'm too skinny."
Leo's jaw is pretty much to the ground. "Damn, where's the confidence? You're not going to get anywhere with that attitude, Randi. You'd be on the bench."
"And I'm supposed to trust your advice? You don't seem like a fashionista to me."
My ghost friend snickers. "Before I died, I had a girlfriend, who made me go to the mall with her every day. And she forced a lot of Top Model on me. So, I know a few things."
Ugh. I roll my eyes. "Okay. Fine."
I fight him on it, but I lose. After I agree on my terms, I give him the 'don't make a scene' chat and hope for the best.
"I point, you grab. The more you fight me, the longer we'll be here."
"When did you get so bossy?"
There were so many options, and Leo picks the mall. We could've shopped online with better options, or I could've found something in my closet. I don't know what's hiding in there anymore. But no. I have to follow Leo around the shop like a lost puppy, picking up the most ridiculous things. Like I'm not wearing a shirt that says "Eat me, I'm tasty."
Also, while following him, I have to listen to him blurt out fashion advice like he's Tyra Banks.
Be authentic.
Don't play it safe.
Don't slouch.
According to Leo Conley, fashion extraordinaire, my posture is terrible. I walk like I have back issues, and it's not a good look. Blah, blah, blah.
Almost an hour and a mountain of clothes later, we're in the dressing room. It's a relatively big one, and only so Leo could join me. It's a last-minute choice because I don't want anyone seeing my embarrassing fashion show, and it will look like I'm modeling for no one, according to the public eye. At least Leo can't tell anyone if I make a fool of myself.
We're taking it to the grave, unless he somehow figures out how to communicate with someone else, but I just know he wouldn't tell anyone. It just feels different with him.
After I try hanging everything up, I turn to Leo, who is leaning against the wall staring at me. "No peeking! That's creepy, and I know you know that. Got it?" I whisper, shaking with nerves.
"Got it. I'll just stare at the wall," Leo says, turning around. "Not that it's exciting or anything."
After I watch for a few seconds to see if he's lying, I strip out of my clothes and pick up the first hanger. It's a damn dress. A ruched, bright yellow one that gives me a headache just looking at it.
I huff. "I thought we said no dresses? I'm going to look like Big Bird."
I slip the soft fabric up my legs and my arms through the puffy sleeves. "You said no dresses. Did I listen? No. You have the legs. Show them."
Shaking out my hair, I said, "You can look. Preferably with one eye. It's a lot to take in. I may fly away. Or lay an egg."
He laughs before he can turn around, and before he can look at me, the nerves in my stomach go crazy. I swallow and nervously rub my arm, letting my eyes roam around the white walls that are decorated with clothes. This is not a good look for me. I'm too pale for yellow. Maybe I should be the ghost.
Leo's eyes go up and down the length of my long body, and he thinks to himself before opening his mouth. "Okay. Maybe not that dress. Yellow is a hit or miss."
He's twisting his lips as if he hates what he sees. It makes me feel foolish.
"Obviously a miss for me," I mumble, hoping he didn't hear me, but my feelings are a little bruised. "This isn't for me, Leo. Can we just go?"
He steps closer to me and puts his hands on my shoulders to straighten me out. "So, you want to quit? Stop shooting yourself down. I'm trying to help you get out of your comfort zone, and yes, some things won't work, but don't be a quitter."
My eyes meet his and remain there as I process his words. I bet his girlfriend when he was alive was a smoke show and could wear shit like this. But not everything and not every color looks good on me. So, here goes nothing.
I smile and shake off my anxiety. "Turn around!"
Let's do this.
"And... done!" I say, waiting for Leo to turn around. When he does, I place my hand on my hip, giving him a playful pose. The hunter green buttoned shirt romper fit me like a glove. It's still my style, but less thrift, even though it's short. My long legs are definitely on display. Every bruise and blemish from my childhood.
I grab a belt and slide it around my neck as I dance to the music in the background. While Leo's eyes light up and a smile appears, I put the belt around him and laugh, as I'm shimmying.
We've been at this for almost twenty outfits and believe it or not, I'm having a good time. During outfit ten—this skirt and sweater duo—the dances started. It felt like I was in a music video and had so many outfit changes to keep up with. They were all different, full of color, and even though I thought I would hate most of them, I didn't. I don't remember the last time I had that much fun.
I felt good—girly. A feeling I never thought I'd ever feel. I hated the thought of super girly clothes because of my body. They never seemed to look right on me, but that was Amara's taste. And somehow, Leo made me feel like I could wear anything with all his positive comments.
Well, not anything.
We end my performance with a laugh. "Beautiful," he says under his breath, shaking his head. "Who is this? I like her." I like her, too.
I blush, pushing my head down. "You don't mean that." Regret washes over me the second those words slip from my mouth. I didn't want to ruin a good time, but it gets harder to trust when people play these kinds of games on you all the time.
"Why would I lie? I've got nothing to lose. I'm here for you."
"No one has ever said that to me before," I admit.
Leo shrugs. "Then they're stupid."
I playfully squint my eyes. "Or you're just saying that because I have on less clothes."
"That too," he admits confidently, making my eyes wide. "But overalls Randi was beautiful too. You just didn't think so."
My smile spread across my entire face. Ew. My teeth are showing, too. I can't stop it. That's the first time I felt butterflies in my stomach from another person. Well, kind of person. And I don't know how to deal with it. My skin is warm and tingly, and for the first time, I feel seen.
To avoid the awkwardness, I say, "Okay. Turn around, so we can get out of here! I'm starving, and since you don't eat, you pick your favorite thing and I'll eat it for you."
Leo doesn't eat or sleep. He doesn't go to the bathroom or much of anything that doesn't involve me. We're still trying to understand why, but it's harder than it seems.
"Will you describe the taste to me?" Leo says with a hint of sadness in his voice. "Like super good fucking detail."
"Oh! I give the best details, Conley. Eye rolling details."
He's back in the corner as I unbutton the top of the romper. "So, why Randi?" Leo asks. I'm still trying to figure out these confusing buttons.
I laugh. "My dad was hoping for a boy after two twin girls. So, when the doctor told my parents that I was a boy, my dad had a field day. He named me after his brother and had so much planned for me. I was going to do this, and be that until I came out a girl."
Leo chuckles next. "And he just kept the name? Savage."
"Dropped the Y for an I. Best of both worlds."
"My little sister's name is Dylan," he replies, turning around, as only half of the romper is off. My bra is exposed to him, and I didn't tell him to turn. Those butterflies turn into bees, and the feeling isn't as nice. I feel queasy. Way too seen now.
I cover myself with my arms, feeling my cheeks go warm. "Leo! What are you doing?"
"No wonder you think your boobs are just boobs. What the hell is that thing?" His eyes are on my boobs, and it's not one of those glances that you look away from.
I look down, unable to produce words. "Uh... a bra?"
I'm not going to lie, it's not my best one. But in my defense, no one sees them.
He's moving closer and I'm gulping like I'm sipping my favorite drink. His pretty eyes are fixated on mine and I... I don't know what to do. So, I laugh awkwardly.
"Looks like something a hospital would give you, if that's a thing," he tells, standing directly in front of me. It feels almost too intimate. Too private. But I keep still, covering my chest.
I roll my eyes. "Gee. Way to make a girl feel nice."
My head hangs low from his response, and I shouldn't let it get to me. But it does and I want to curl into a ball and forget it didn't happen.
I should have worn a better bra.
What am I saying? He's not even alive.
Leo grabs my chin and makes me look up to him. Our eyes meet and I swear the lights flickered. They seem extra blue, glistening under the harsh light. We're just staring at each other, not saying anything. Maybe he's searching for the right words, too.
"Your body is beautiful, Randi. You don't have to hide it."
That's a damn good save because the butterflies are no longer in my stomach. They're somewhere else, somewhere between my legs, and the feeling is new.
What is happening to me? It's all too much at once.
My throat goes dry, and I'm squeezing my legs together, embarrassed.
While I wet my lips, Leo's hands go up to my shoulder, and down the length of my arms. He uses his strength to make me drop them, and I let him. My eyes were stuck on his like magnets, and I couldn't move them away. I'm in some kind of trance.
"If you want me to get in my bra too, I'm down," Leo replies sarcastically, still holding my chin. I know this is him trying to make me comfortable again, since my walls are so thin and frail.
I giggle, and with little thought, I lean forward, getting on my tiptoes. Before I close my eyes to my first kiss (I'm not that excited, am I?), I see Leo also leaning forward.
He wants to kiss me? Holy shit!
Do I know how to kiss? I don't know. We'll find out. The palm of my hand isn't much practice.
He pushes me closer until our bodies are one, and I'm shaking in his hold.
Right before our lips touch, someone is banging on the door. "Is everything okay in there? Do you need anything else?"