April 1st, 1977
April 1st was always full of anticipation, worry and excitement. Many students were pulling small pranks. Everyone was under constant vigilance, students and teachers. You never knew what you'll find at the next corner. But what made the student body even more jumpy m were four Gryffindor boys. The Marauders. Each year that day they would pull something marvellous.
But not this year.
Everyone could see that the marauders had started falling apart. They haven't seen Sirius, James and Peter wandering around causing mischief in ages. They weren't bumping into Remus and Elaisa snogging in empty corridors, abandoned classrooms or cupboards anymore. They could see that the Black brothers were falling apart again. The meals were calm now that the four boys were sitting as far away from each other as much as they could.
James would talk only to Elaisa, Sirius to Remus, Regulus was shutting himself to everyone but his sister and Peter had no one most of the time. Elaisa seemed to be the less affected one, as she had both Regulus and James along with her friends from Durmstrang.
It was safe to say that the rest of them were struggling through. They looked pale, exhausted and with dark marks under their eyes. They weren't having much sleep, Remus was doing poorly at his studies and Sirius would barely touch his food. James was caught in the middle, trying to talk Sirius and Remus out of it, but they both felt still betrayed.
Last night he did everything in his power to persuade the rest of the marauders to pull a prank altogether, keep the tradition alive, but with no effect.
The dorm was in chaos too. Reggie and Sirius weren't talking and when they did, they were fighting like wounded animals.
Nothing was the same anymore and everything was so perfect two weeks ago you thought they were in a dream. If it wasn't for that damn diary. If Sirius had never read it. It was only one fucking secret. Everyone has one. Maybe Elaisa's was bigger than Remus' but that doesn't mean it should break them apart. They are family. They are supposed to be able to bear any storm, together.
But how are they supposed to work it out if they aren't even talking?? He was good at causing problems, not fixing them... He slapped his forehead. How hadn't he thought of it before??
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Elaisa and Regulus were on a meeting that day 'cause Voldermort was planning an attack at Hogsmeade. Nothing new really. After that, they visited Alex. It had become a regular thing now. They were always welcome at his hiding spot. He didn't have anyone to talk to anyway. Regulus would see him only after the meeting but Elaisa visited him more often with new books for him to read. Books she would steal from Hogwarts' Library, but he didn't need to know that. They bonded like salt and pepper. Perhaps that's because he did grow up with his sister. She shook that thought off. She wasn't going to use that against Sirius. Never. He was a dick but it wasn't his fault they grew apart...
Alex was amazing, caring and hot as fuck. If he was a few years younger... But he wasn't and she loved Remus - because she had figured that what she was feeling for Remus was love- so Alex had to live with her seeing him only as an older brother. To be honest, he liked Elaisa too. Believe me, it's hard not to fall for her super the super awesome, beautiful girl that saved your life. But they managed.
They arrived at his house later than usual. "Hey, guys. What's with the long faces? What's wrong?" They walked in without a word. Alex was worried sick. Of course, there had been times that their meetings were a living hell and in those four months, he had seen them being a mess many times, but never like this. The three of them took a sit in the living room. "Ok, what happened?" He sighed. "I know it's bad already. If you don't tell me you are just worrying me even more" Elaisa's feet were shaking and Regulus was messing with his hair just to do something with his hands. "Guys!" The Black siblings exchanged a meaningful look.
"It started like any casual meeting"
"He was talking about Dumbledore and the Order, the attacks and things like that"
"He is planning an attack at Hogsmeade"
"And he wants us to be part of it"
"Not something we haven't done before"
"Everything was fine"
"Till it wasn't"
Alex thought that he would never see Elaisa so broken. They talked and talked till they fell asleep in each other's arms.
When she woke up she was laying on the couch cuddled with a warm blanket. "Morning sunshine. Your brother has already left. Said he would cover for you. I made lunch. You want some?" They heard her stomach growl in response. They laughed. She hadn't laughed in weeks. That's why she loved being at Alex's house so much. He always managed to cheer her up without even trying.
" Wait. You said you cooked lunch? "
" Yeah. U made breakfast too but seeing that's two o'clock-"
"Two o'clock?! Merlin, I took over your couch! I am so sorry. You didn't have to make me lunch, or breakfast. You could have waked me up. I would have left with Reg"
He smiled. He loved the way she would rumble when she was nervous.
"And ruin your beautiful sleep? Sorry, but I know better than to disturb a Black's sleep. Besides, you looked so calm, peaceful and happy. You deserve a break from life too" she smiled. "When did you become so wise?"
"You'll be surprised what isolation can do"
It was past ten when she entered her dorm. She was planning on passing out on her bed. The day with Alex had exhausted her. She changed into her night groom and then she saw it. A note on her dresser.
"7th floor
ASAP
JP"
Damn, you Potter. A day off. That's all I ask for.
"You came!"
"Yeah, sorry. I came as soon as I found your note l. What's wrong?"
"Not here. Too many ears"
She rolled her eyes. "Jamie is almost curfew. Nobody is here" But she followed him nevertheless. He started pacing in front of an empty wall. (And I thought the Blacks were cursed to lose their minds eventually) Suddenly a huge door appeared. (Maybe he didn't lose his mind after all. Or maybe they both did) He opened the door ever so slightly and shoved Elaisa in closing the door behind her and after seconds, it disappeared completely.
She looked around the big room only to meet someone's judging eyes.
"James Fleamont Potter! I swear to God, I amma kill you once I get out of here!" they both yelled at the empty wall. It was obvious that non of them wanted to be there. They didn't talk. They didn't even look at each other. As time passed, their room became smaller and smaller. It was obvious James wanted them to talk but they were both too stubborn to make the first move.
An hour had passed and Elaisa started to find it difficult to breathe. She didn't like small places. They were bringing the flashes of her childhood she wanted to forget.
A little girl was playing in the front yard of a big house. A woman was watching over her threw an open window. The woman disappeared and the girl started running away. Once her foot touched their road, a shock went threw her. She fell on her knees from the pain of the unforgivable.
"What do you think you were doing?"
"I just want to see my brothers!"
The woman grabbed the girl and pulled her inside. The woman summoned a trunk big enough to contain the small kid.
Perhaps, if we work it out, James will let us out. Just maybe. What was there to lose anyway?
"Siri" her voice was shaking with nervousness. No answer. Damn, you Sirius. "Sirius, trust me, I don't like this either, but I want to get out of here as much as you" He scoffed. "You can't stay mad at me forever. I know you. You adore me" He crossed his arms. "I can and I will" "Why do you hate me so much?" she snapped. She intended to take this slow but she was anticipating getting out of there. "Why don't you just accept the fact that I am your sister and you forgot my existence?"
"Because I do remember my sister!"
She widened her eyes. "What?" she whispered.
"I remember her crawling on the ground in pain right before mother killed her in front of my eyes" a pause "My sister is dead. And even if what you implying is true-"
"I am not implying anything"
"-that statement is still true"
What?
"Even if you are Elaisa Black, you are not my sister. My sister would never do the things you did"
Her mouth was wide open and she was trying to force her tears in. "How?" He looked confused. "How what?"
"How do you want me to prove that I am Elaisa Black?" He thought for a minute. "Recite the Black List" Elaisa looked at him horrified. Her hands were shaking from the terror and the panic. Suddenly the room felt uncomfortably small.
"I can't" she mumbled.
"What was that?"
"I said I can't"
"So you don't know it" he huffed
"Oh, I do know it"
"Then?"
"I promised you I would never recite it. No matter what. You said it is a way to mess with our heads"
Sirius eyed her suspiciously.
"Can you write it down?"
"I-I guess so..."
What is he planning?
He tossed her a piece of parchment and a quill. Elaisa started writing. Fast. She didn't have to think, her hand was moving on its own. Soon enough she had written all twenty-eight lines. One for every sacred family. Sirius grabbed the paper and read it. He read it again. And again. He couldn't believe his eyes. The lines were reaching perfection and they were in the correct order. The girl ahead of him was indeed his sister. But he didn't know how to continue. He had mourned her. He had grieved. And now, there she was, alive and well. Well, not really well if you think that her eyes were puffy, her lips were trembling her whole body was shaking and she found it difficult to breathe like she was having some sort of panic attack. God, she was having a panic attack! Shit! And what do we do now? The room had now the size of a closet.
"James, open the door! James is not funny! Come on Elaisa, breathe with me. In... Out... In... Out..."
He stared into her eyes. It was like she couldn't see him. And he knew. He knew that she was having flashes of something traumatic and he couldn't help her 'cause he was never there for her as a brother. Now that he was thinking about it, Regulus was a better brother than him. Actually, EVERYONE was better brothers to her than him. Even Barty.
The thought made him feel sick. Bartemius Crouch Jr. was one of Regulus' best friends and he hated him with his whole being. When he and Eli started hanging out a few weeks ago, he hated him even more, something he believed to be impossible. But now he only hated himself. He was disgusted by his own existence in the level of self-destruction.
He couldn't help but think that any other student would be able to calm Elaisa down when he failed outrageously when he was her older brother, no, the eldest brother, or he was supposed to be and act like one. Although, now Elaisa was suffering and couldn't bring himself to do anything about it.
"James Potter, open the door. My sister needs help" The word slipped out of his mouth without noticing. The only thing that mattered to him right now was that his little princesses Eli was on her knees panting uncontrollably.
James waited outside of the Room of Requirements for about half an hour listening to the silence. Bloody Blacks. Always too stubborn and sure of themselves. Maybe that was a bad idea that would only make things worse. Or it was a really bad idea and behind that wall, they were killing each other. Eh, they were killing each other from the inside anyway. He was about to open the door, defeated when Regulus showed up. He tried to look casual. He was watching the way his hair was framing his face. His eyes... Ugh, those eyes were killing him every time (That's a hell of a lot of killing) But something was different. Yes, the eyes were greyer than usual. Sadder than he had ever seen them.
Regulus watched him laying against the wall pretending to mind his own business. But he knew better than James couldn't take his eyes off him. He wasn't sure why but he had caught him staring at him like he was the fucking sun, multiple times. It was like he was helplessly in love with him. But that's bullshit. It was common knowledge that James had eyes for none other than Lily Perfect Evans. He wasn't jealous. No. He couldn't be 'cause that would mean that he had a crush on Potter. And he didn't. Right? I mean, he is a very good-looking lad, but he was a guy and his brother's best friend. He couldn't like lads. That was not normal. Was it? Merlin, help me. What the fuck am I thinking right now? I don't like James Potter, I am not jealous of Evans and the only reason James stares at me is to find the ways I and Sirius are different. That's all. End of conversation (denial)
He lay against the wall beside James. "What are you doing here in the middle of the night, Potter?"
"I could ask you the same thing, little Black"
Reg growled. He hated that name. Anyone who would make the mistake to use it would end up with a nosebleed if he was lucky. But James wasn't anyone, was he now? But, who was he? He shook the thought away. "I asked you first" James sighed "So much like your brother" he mumbled under his breath but Regulus heard him. "My brother wouldn't ask what someone as hot as you are doing out here without a date. He would just make you ditch whatever you are doing to pull a stupid prank or something" James nodded "You are right. These were some nice nights. But now..." Silence. They both knew what he meant. That diary had cost them a lot, to all of them. Suddenly James' face lit up with realization. Exactly what Regulus was waiting for. "Wait, you think I am hot?" Reg smirked. "No" he leaned to whisper in James' ear, "I think you are the hottest lad in this bloody castle" His breath tickled James' neck and felt his face light up. Regulus had that effect on him. Make him feel like a pack of butterflies was dancing rock 'n roll in his stomach. Regulus brushed his fingertips against James' cheek and down to his chin. James let out a shaky breath of pleasure and anticipation. He hated that feeling. He hated that he couldn't understand what it meant. He had never felt it before with anyone. Who could he talk about it? Who could he reach out to help him figure this out? Sirius? That was his baby brother. Elaisa? She wasn't half as good at emotions as Sirius. Peter had the emotional rage of a teaspoon. Remus was the best option but he was already dealing with his own issues.
Regulus laughed with his expression and straighten himself. "I am just messing with you" or at least I think I do. He loved how he could make him blush like a bloody tomato with a single word, a single touch. "Fuck" James breathed and Rey snorted at the sound. "It is not funny, Reggie! You should stop doing that!" He raised an eyebrow "Doing what?" he questioned. "That". Regulus took a step forward closing the space between them. "And what exactly is 'that'?" he teased. Their lips were almost touching. James could feel Reg's breath against his lips. It made his head clouded. He acted without thinking. He grabbed Regulus' sides, pinned him against the wall trapping him between his arms and crushed their lips against Regulus'.
Everything happened so fast Regulus couldn't react. It took him a while to understand what was happening and when he did, he was too shocked to do anything about it. Regulus' apathy at the gesture snapped James out of his blur and pulled away feeling guilty. What had he just done? When James backed away, the feeling of loneliness and longing woke Regulus up. He grabbed James' cheeks and kissed him with firm and hunger fuck it. James was surprised but he kissed back and eventually melted in the kiss.
Their lips were moving in symphony and they both felt safe and free in each other's arms. Like levitating. James licked Regulus' bottom lip asking for permission. Regulus parted his lips hesitantly. He was afraid. He didn't know what he was doing but he was curving for more. All his doubting and all his thoughts vanished as soon as James' tongue entered his mouth. He groaned in pleasure. The sound only made James want to kiss him with even more firmness and passion. Regulus' mouth was warm and as much as he loved the feeling, James parted away and kissed him across his jawline and down to his neck. He placed a trail of soft kisses till he found a soft spot and sucked it hungrily Regulus tighten his fists against James' robes and moaned loudly. James sucked harder, pleased with the sounds that were leaving Regulus' parted lips because of him.
"James" he breathed. James groaned. "James!" he said again as steadily as he could and placed a hand on his panting chest. James moved away. Regulus felt bad when he met James' hurtful eyes. He didn't mean to hurt him. "Shall we take this somewhere else?" he asked hoping that it would be enough to make his mood. And it was. A goofy smirk found its way to James' lips. Oh God, what had he got himself into?
James grabbed his hand and they were about to start running when they heard a voice. "James open the door! James it's not funny!" They looked at each other. What the hell? "James Potter open the door! My sister needs help!"
Fuck! He had totally forgotten about those two behind the wall. He rushed forward and opened the door to find Elaisa panting on the floor. "James, I swear to God l, once this ends, I am gonna kill you!" James ignored him and leaned down. "Looks like she is having a panic attack. Elaisa, can you hear me?" No answer. "I already tried. Her mind is somewhere else" "We have to steady her breathing" Regulus' voice surprised Sirius but it wasn't the time to question him. "And how are you planning to do that, genius?" Reg thought for a little "Move!" he demanded and James stepped aside. He learned. God, what the hell am I doing?! And before he could change his mind he kissed his sister full on the lips. Right now he hated his own gut. He felt sick. The moment he felt her relaxing under his touch, not even a moment later l, he backed away and hoped on his feet to throw up at the corridor.
"Wh-what happened?" she asked breathlessly while touching her sore lips. "Wh-why were you kissing me?" Not that I am complaining... "You were under a panic attack and... Regulus thought that...your breath would slow down by...kissing you"
Regulus that had stopped vomiting showed up at the door. "It works for me! And...obviously to you too..." He cleared his throat. Then Sirius noticed something that shouldn't be there. A small bruise on Regulus' pale neck. "Reg, what is that?" He tensed "What is what?" Sirius grabbed Reggie's jaw and side it to have a better look. "You have a bruise..." Reg tensed. How had he got it? It had been almost a week since he last got in a fight. "Oh, wait. It's not a bruise. Is a hickey!"
Regulus's eyes widened. And hurried to hide his mark under his collar. James blushed and Sirius smirked. "Did little Reggie grow up finally? Who is the lucky girl?" Regulus gulped. "I...um... you see...you don't know her" He didn't want Sirius to know that at a hot moment, he had snogged his best friend. Actually, he didn't want him to know that he had snogged a guy. The worse part, he liked it and he would do it again and again till the moment he'll leave his last breath.
"Believe me, I know all the hit chicks inside those walls" He had a goofy smile. Regulus looked at James and saw a hurtful look in his eyes. He gulped. "You wouldn't know her. She is shy and unimportant, really. Um... I am surprised I let it happen in the first place. But...at least she was...good at it" James walked out shoving Reg's shoulder with tears in his eyes. Regulus let a sigh and fought the urge to follow him but he gave in. Sirius raised an eyebrow. A lot of things, weird things happened in this fucking, bloody room.