Hello everyone:) Welcome to the new and improved version of Conspicuous Secrets:) This has been completely rewritten and polished for publication preparation. I can assure you that you will love this version even more than the first<3
~chapter one~
It felt like a ribbon was strung around my life and the man on the other end of the phone, even while halfway across the country, was the only one holding the two ends and keeping it together.
"You can't forget," his voice repeated as if he hadn't already drilled the lies into the deepest parts of my brain. "Your names are Lydia and Jaxon King. You recently moved here from California, and your parents died in a house fire...if any questions come up about your age and independence, say you have an uncle in the area that has legal custody of you."
My elbows dug hard into the kitchen table as I sat with my chin resting on my closed fists. The constant ache in my chest was fine-tuned, having resided there for almost five months now. I couldn't remember a life without constant anxiety and worry seeping into every passing second.
My brother was standing on the other side of the table with his large palms flat on the wood and his eyes glued to the cell phone between us. As if feeling my gaze, his head tilted up and I found an all too familiar sense of loneliness swirling in his hazel eyes. Once we stepped off that plane two hours ago and unlocked the front door of this old house, we were on our own.
"Do you understand?" Detective Matthews asked us, his voice sounding deep, maybe weighed down by the amount of stress from our situation.
"Yes," we both answered him. How could we not? We'd been over it a thousand times by this point.
After assuring him that we were settling in and that we'd each text him every day and call him at least once a week, he finally ended the call. The long moment of silence after, made my skin crawl, and forcing air into my lungs took more effort than it should have. My brother grabbed his phone and shoved it back into his pocket.
I looked around at the new place we were supposed to be calling home. The walls were dull and bland, and the ceilings were cracked. Dust bunnies crowded the corners and I could guess that more than a few spiders called this place "home" first. I only hoped they didn't try to stake a claim against us.
We were somewhere in Ohio in an average house that had very little furniture. In each bedroom we had only our beds, leaving us no choice but to keep our very few belongings in boxes. There wasn't much that we could bring with us, so there wasn't much to unpack.
This place wasn't pretty and it wasn't anywhere near new, but was still more than we technically needed so I was thankful. Matthews and his partner had been too kind to us. Because of them, we were able to stay here in the first place. Even with the mostly empty space between all of the walls, I was thankful to have a safe spot for just my brother and me. It wasn't quite our house, but we could set our own rules.
My brother silently disappeared into his bedroom.
A safe place. That was a new thing for us. Foreign, even. I hadn't felt safe in years. Not since before Mom died. Even when she was still around, I knew there was only so much protection she was able to provide at the time. She was very limited in everything. We all were.
The last five months had felt like a lifetime. We'd been moved from place to place, temporary home to temporary home—usually moving back and forth between the houses of a few detectives over our case. Since the moment we met them, they repeatedly told us that we were safe now. We were safe. Then why did we never stay in one place for very long? Why were we now halfway across the country from where we started? Why did "permanently safe" seem so far away? Because we weren't. Their words said so, but I had a feeling we were so far from it.
#
"We can't do anything that can result in him finding us." My voice sounded too monotone—too tired. "And never, under any circumstances, tell anyone the truth—that's most important."
My brother beside me, who I now had to develop the habit of calling Jaxon, nodded and sighed in return.
"No friends," I told him almost like an order. "I doubt we'll be here long anyway."
His eyes left the objects on the opposite side of the window and looked at me, now with annoyance and disagreement. "I don't want to be the weird new kids that no one talks to," he said. "And I don't want to be any more miserable than we are already going to be. I'm making friends so I can stay sane."
"Then don't get attached," I requested. "It's for the best."
Jaxon didn't reply, but his silence was more than enough to tell me how he felt about it. "...Are you ready, Lydia?" he asked slowly as if testing my new name on his tongue.
I didn't like it. The unfamiliarity of it somehow deepened the crater of ache in my chest. That was yet another thing I was going to have to force myself to get used to.
Glancing out of the car window and to the exterior of our new school, I wondered if it really was twice the size of the high school we'd attended back in Florida or if it just looked that way. I tried to swallow down the wave of anxiety that it triggered, but I could already see myself getting lost in the large crowds of students. "Yeah," I lied with an intake of breath. "Let's go."
We climbed out of the old, abused car, the other thing that we'd been gifted, and started making our way toward the glass front doors of the beige stone building. Maybe I was just looking for judgmental stares from surrounding students and that's why I found them.
"Do you have your schedule?" Jaxon asked me, throwing his backpack over his shoulder.
My gaze reluctantly left the curious teenagers and diverted to my brother. Nodding, I reached into the front pocket of my jeans and pulled out the folded sheet of paper that listed all of my class information. "I have English first."
"I have trig," he replied off the top of his head, not needing to double-check. I noted the grin on his face and his bright eyes--even the lightness of his steps. He memorized everything. His preparations beforehand didn't surprise me, but it did make me wish that I'd thought to do the same.
He seemed excited to be here and to have a fresh start. A different life was what we wanted after all, and here we were creating a new one, but unlike him, I couldn't get excited if I tried.
I swallowed as we walked in the front doors and into the student-filled opening room. "I guess I'll see you later," Jaxon said, already stepping toward one of the three hallways. "My class is this way."
"Wait!" I called after him, but he had already disappeared into a mass of students moving in the same direction.
I didn't know how in the world he knew where he was going, but I wish he would've directed me before saying his farewell. I looked around me, trying to get a sense of direction. A huge part of me knew that in this type of situation, I should ask someone for guidance, but I had too much pride for that. I always learned things the hard way.
Walking along the locker and poster-pasted walls, I kept a confident glint in my eyes. I avoided the crowded areas in the long corridor, not wanting to draw any extra attention to myself, and silently prayed I was going the right way.
Probing eyes stared in my direction as if I was fresh meat that needed to be checked out. I pulled my unzipped jacket tighter around my black tank top and continued walking as if I wasn't bothered by the onlookers.
At the end of the hallway, I looked at the nearest room number and realized it was nowhere near where I needed to be. My rising anxiety erupted in a frustrated groan. I looked around at the rushing students, knowing it was probably almost time for the beginning bell to ring.
"If I do, it's on you!" an angry voice growled nearby. My head jerked over to a boy standing over a girl against the line of lockers. I couldn't see the guy's face, only the back of his blonde head and the excessive amount of hair gel that locked it in place.
On the other hand, the girl he had trapped in front of him didn't look scared of him at all. Her light-green eyes were passive and her thin lips frowned with boredom.
The boy slammed his fist against the locker, but she didn't flinch. He scoffed and turned to leave, his path, unfortunately, being right where I was standing. "Get out of my way," he ordered me, his cold, green eyes holding an intimidating threat. I just stepped out of his way and let him go on his not-so-merry way. I watched him as he stalked down the hall, every single student just moving out of his way as if knowing they'd be dozed down if they didn't.
"Unfortunately, it's best to just listen to him," the girl said from behind me. Her long, strawberry-blonde hair reached a few inches above her elbows and her almond eyes held a friendly glint in them.
I grabbed the shoulder strap of my backpack. "Is he always that arrogant?"
A crooked smile stretched her cheek. "Unfortunately. You're new here?" The way she asked, led me to believe she already knew and was just confirming with me.
I nodded. "First day."
"Aria Milton," she introduced herself, holding out her hand.
I shook it. "De..." No. I stopped myself and forced a kind smile. "Lydia King."
If she noticed my hesitation, she didn't point it out or seem to acknowledge it. "What's your first class?" she asked, gently grabbing my arm and leading me closer to the side of the hall so I wouldn't get trampled by any incoming students.
I had to check my paper again. "Um...English in room A46."
She nodded. "That's more toward the left side of the school. Head back down this hallway into the entry room, head straight to the yellow hall that's furthest left from the front door, take a right at the next intersection and it's either the third or fourth door on your right," she directed.
I breathed out in relief. "Thank you so much."
She smiled. "Maybe I'll see you around." I nodded, wanting to be kind but hoping she wouldn't try to be my friend. I turned to leave but she said one more thing before I could. "If you learn anything on your first day, I'm glad it's at least to be aware of Miles."
Again, I didn't reply, but I looked into her eyes and nodded, assuming Miles was the guy that I'd just caught dozing down students like grass. With that, she waved and walked in the opposite direction. At least now I knew where I was going. But I couldn't say it was because of my great navigation skills.
#
After three classes of keeping quiet and sitting by myself, I made it to my fourth class of the day which I was relieved about, knowing that lunch was next. I needed a break from all these awkward interactions. So far, students in my classes hadn't been paying me any attention. I'd get a few curious stares every once and a while they noticed a new presence, but no own had even bothered to introduce themselves. I wasn't sure if I'd preferred it differently though. Keeping to myself made this whole situation so much easier.
Since I didn't meet another student like Aria that offered to help me get to my classes, I ended up late to my second period because I spent fifteen minutes wandering around the halls trying to find the right door number. After that, I'd decided that the embarrassment of walking in late with everyone's eyes on me was worse than just asking for help, even though deep down I hated doing it. So, since, I'd been asking my teachers for directions.
As I walked up to my fourth-period teacher's desk, he looked up at me with a smile. His desk was organized and clean, there wasn't a paperclip out of place. The man himself was dressed in a wrinkle-free blue button-up and slacks. "Lydia King?" he guessed. I nodded. "You can join the group in the corner with Aria Milton and Marla Pierce." He pointed to the back of the class. All the desks in the room were organized into groups of three.
At the sound of Aria's name, I felt a little bit of relief and a little bit of panic. Eased at the fact that I'd already met her, but stressed at the thought of potentially having to create a friendship.
Nodding once and slipping him a small, kind smile, I joined Aria and the blonde sitting in front of her. I sat beside Aria. They both wore smiles as I dropped my backpack to the floor before I moved to shake the blonde's hand. "I'm Lydia." I was already starting to get used to that new introduction of mine. I felt like I was playing a role in an extended play.
"Marla," she replied with a toothy grin that revealed a small gap between her two front teeth. It was cute. "Did you just move here?"
Her kind vibes seemed genuine and I hoped it was true. Growing up in Florida, I'd learned the hard way to be weary of gorgeous girls because they seemed to carry the most thoughts of judgment. Maybe around Aria and Marla, I'd still be able to lay low with them while I was here for however long I had to be.
"Yeah. My brother and I moved here from California," I slipped the lie, bobbing my head. I stopped myself from saying any more as stress built in my stomach. She didn't ask where I'd come from. Maybe I shouldn't just be spilling "facts." What if it came off as forced or suspicious?
Her brown eyes lit up with excitement instead of the anticipated suspicion. I took a thin breath, silently telling myself to chill out. "Is your brother around our age?"
Keeping a close-lipped smile, I nodded. "A year younger, but he's in our grade."
"Did he get the good genetics too?" Chuckling hesitantly, I furrowed my eyebrows. Marla rolled her eyes and waved a hand. "Trust me, you are adorable. Your blue eyes pop against that black hair," she told me. "If you aren't careful, you'll have every guy here falling at your feet."
I shook my head at her words as the bell rang and the teacher began going over the assignment.
The class period flew by. The assignment was to create a study guide for the upcoming test, although I didn't see a single person doing just that. Toward the end of class, Aria and Marla insisted on exchanging numbers with me. I'd hesitated and started to refuse, but figured that it wouldn't be a bad thing if I needed help with an assignment or something. I hoped I wouldn't regret it later on. I definitely wasn't book-smart and have always struggled with keeping good grades. Focusing in class was never my strong suit.
When the bell rang for lunch, Aria invited me to eat with them. I declined the invitation but agreed to walk with them to the cafeteria. I remembered passing it while wandering the halls looking for my second period but had no idea on how to get there from this point.
"Are you sure you don't want to sit with us?" Aria asked as we walked into the lunch room. "You are more than welcome to."
I nodded. "I'm sure. Thank you though. I should probably just go find my brother."
"Lydia!" Hearing that name at first, I didn't react at all until I recognized the voice. My brother had already found a seat at a table with a couple of other boys and was waving me over.
Aria and Marla smiled at the table of three boys as if they knew something I didn't. "Looks like you two gravitate toward the same people," Marla said.
"You'll be joining us after all," Aria translated, delicately grabbing my lower arm and tugging me along. "Your brother is totally cute!" she spoke quietly in my ear as we approached him.
"He's aggravating once you get to know him," I assured her in a mutter.
As soon as I was close enough for him to do so, Jaxon threw his arm around me and practically pulled me into the seat next to him. Going by the bright grin on his face, he was having a pretty good day. It didn't seem like he was experiencing a first day at a new school at all, more so a vacation.
Aria sat down beside the boy in front of Jaxon. His blonde hair and brown eyes looked almost identical to Marla's. She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. He smiled in return and pushed a tray of food in front of her. Aria made eye contact with me as I watched them. "This is my boyfriend Holden," she introduced me. "Holden, this is Lydia."
"Hello."
I just slipped him a short, close-lipped smile.
Marla sat on the other side of me and in front of the other boy I hadn't met. He looked at me the same time I did him. His eyes were the deepest shade of blue that reminded me of the ocean back home in Florida. His medium-brown hair was thick and wavy, tousled on the top and short on the sides. He was a little taller than my brother and Holden, and had a larger chest and arms. He seemed quite collected and mature.
Neither of us spoke and we stared at each other for a little too long before I looked away and to my brother instead. Jaxon grinned at me goofily. My attention drifted to a strand of hair sticking straight up on his head. Smiling, I reached up and moved the black strand back into place.
He tilted his head. "Thanks Bunny."
My childhood nickname made me smile genuinely and eased my nerves a little. I hadn't heard it in a while.
"Are you twins?" Holden asked us.
Jaxon shook his head. "I'm a year younger," he explained. "I skipped the seventh grade." Growing up, I'd always wished I was as smart as he was.
Holden nodded, dragging his fork around his plate of food. "Makes sense. He's already showing up everyone in our math class," he told Aria. "Half a day here and already making me feel dumber," he chuckled at my brother who laughed too.
"Want me to grab you some lunch?" Jaxon asked me, standing up from his seat. I nodded before he turned and moved toward the far side of the room.
The second I looked back up, I was once again caught in the stare of the blue-eyed boy. I noted that he didn't introduce himself or seem interested in engaging in conversation. Honestly, I really didn't feel like doing the same either, so I wasn't bothered. If anything, I felt some peace in his quiet presence, compared to his extroverted friends.
"Where'd you move here from?" Holden asked in between big bites of food.
"San Francisco."
"Why?" Marla asked from beside me. "I can't think of one reason why you'd want to move from California, and to Ohio of all places."
I shrugged. "Jaxon and I are on our own now, and we have an uncle here, so it was just easier."
They all nodded and were kind enough to not ask any more detailed questions. I silently thanked them.
When Jaxon returned with trays for the both of us, I dug into the pizza slice and bag of chips offered. In the chatter of the lunch room, he dramatically moaned, keeping his eyes closed. "I never thought that school food could taste so good," he commented.
I cringed at him talking with his mouthful. It was disgusting. He was the one so deeply wanting to make friends here while he was embarrassing himself and grossing them out all at the same time. "Jaxon. Please, have some manners."
He looked at me like I had accused him of nonsense. "What am I even doing wrong?"
"Talking with your mouth full."
He raised his head once in acknowledgment. "Oops. Gotcha. Sorry."
Aria started laughing and everyone but the unnamed friend smiled widely and chuckled under their breaths. "You two are so entertaining."
Marla was staring at my brother with an amused curiosity in her soft, brown eyes. I found it hard to believe that a cute girl like her could find a potential crush on my brother. He was an immature rascal that was hard to live with. Though, going by how it was at our old school, I wasn't surprised that after only a few hours in the school system, he already had someone crushing on him.
"Are we still on for tonight?" The boy who had yet to be labeled was looking between Holden, Marla, and Aria.
The three of them nodded. "Yeah, if you guys are still up for it," Aria replied. "My parents won't be leaving until eight, but you can come up before then if you want."
"You guys should join us," Marla chimed in, pulling at my and Jaxon's attention.
"Are you guys throwing a party or something?" Jaxon asked. I definitely was not down for a party. No thank you. And who throws a party on a Wednesday?
"Not at all," Aria chuckled, waving her hand in the air. "They are just coming over to my house for a movie and game night."
I looked at my brother for his input on the offer, secretly hoping he would deny it, knowing how I would feel about the situation. He caught my eye for a brief moment. If there was a time that he would ever be able to read my mind, I wanted it to be now.
"Please, come," Holden said. "It'll be fun."
Jaxon smiled. "I've never been one to deny a little fun." I internally screamed at him while anxiety welled inside me. We could not get distracted from the real reason we moved here. We go to school one day and he's already working his way into a group of besties.
"What about you?" the other boy asked me. "Are you up for it?" I didn't like the way his stare made me feel like he was reading every thought that was trailing through my head. If my brother couldn't read my mind, I felt like this guy was next in line to be able to.
Maybe Jaxon could go without me. Someone had to keep a level head.
"Are you sure you want us over?" I asked, turning to Aria. "We are practically strangers."
She nodded while I ignored the judgmental look my brother was giving me. "I can already tell we'll get along well. And if not, what's one night?" she laughed. "It's not like you come from a family of psychopaths, right?"
I forced a chuckle, an unintentional jab poking me hard in the chest. "Right."
She raised an eyebrow at me. "So?" I looked over at Marla whose eyes were pleading with mine.
"Maybe. We've got a lot of unpacking to do. Jaxon might have to go over without me," I offered.
Aria smiled brightly, looking like she ignored my last sentence. "I'll text you my address."
#
"I'll see you tonight!" Aria called as we left our seventh period. Of course, we had two classes together.
I waved back at her as we separated to go to our last class. She was so sure that I'd show my face this evening.
I walked to the end of the hall and turned right, exactly how she'd instructed me. Dodging students, I counted the doors that I passed on the left-hand side of the hallway and entered the seventh. I was one of the first students to arrive, so after introducing myself to the teacher, I took a seat in the back row.
As I waited for the bell the ring, other students filed in and took a seat, chattering amongst themselves while I kept to myself and remained quiet, just flipping through my notebook trying to find an empty page for notes. I should've bought new notepads instead of just using my old one. Just as the bell rang and the teacher stood from his desk to begin the lesson, a final student walked into the room.
I recognized the blonde hair and confident stride easily. It was the same guy that had been messing with Aria this morning. I'd been lucky enough not to see him anywhere else until now.
"Mr. Anderson," the teacher greeted. "Cutting it close, aren't we?"
The boy ignored the teachers comment and continued on to an empty seat in the far corner of the room, a few seats to my right. I couldn't help but watch him as he fist-bumped a couple of guys around him and immediately pulled out his phone, not paying a bit of attention to the lesson the teacher was starting.
He wasn't conventionally attractive with a crooked nose, one eyebrow that remained raised a little, and the lack of symmetry in his soft jawline. I stared a little too long and as soon as he felt my eyes on him and met my gaze, I jerked my head back in front of me. Cold. That's what I felt from his stare. It was a familiar feeling. The chills that ran down my spine were enough of a warning to listen to Aria.
My eyes met with someone else's as I looked forward again. The familiar boy's hair was just as messy as it had been at lunch and his blue eyes were just as curious. He'd been in my seventh period too, but I hadn't talked to him directly or yet learned his name. I hadn't seen him walk in. I looked down from his stare, to the nearly filled notebook in front of me that had torn pages lodged in the spiraled spine, and to my pen that was almost out of ink.
I could feel the moment his eyes left my presence and when I looked back up at him, his eyes were on Miles. The glare he held with so much emotion, so much backstory, was a new look on him. It was probably the most emotion I'd seen out of him so far. Miles gave him the same expression, with just a hint of a smirk tugging his lips. I couldn't help the curiosity brewing inside me.
Maybe there was a story here that was stillbeing written. A story to be read and observed. A story, maybe, just as crazyas my own
***
Y'all, I started writing Conspicuous Secrets five years ago. It's safe to say that I'm excited to release this story again with better writing!
I'm not sure how often the rewritten chapters will be posted. Hopefully one every week.
Opinions? Let me know what y'all think before this is published:)
~Emily