Why is the school so heartlessly tiring? It was just some days before when I met Baekjin. On the top of it, I didn't even have the chance to go on a date with Gerard. I am sitting in cram school right now, after school hours its compulsory to attend the hefty cram school. I can't escape this vicious cycle of studying and torture.
"Hi" a similar voice rang in my air, I snapped out of my thoughts. A familiar silver haired guy smiled at me. His soft features even softened in the sun rays which were streaming into the room through a tiny window. He is even more prettier than me. I remember when I first met him he seemed distant and cold. It seemed smile was a foreign concept to him.
He asked me
"Do you know Baekjin Na....personally?"
My mouth hung open, why is he asking about him...
"I know him, did something happen, you are enquiring about him out of blue?"
"No not yet" he said and went away. At that time, I never knew his intentions but it was sure for something disastrous. It was almost afternoon, I called Jake around that time because my conscience guilt hit me and I could never go away from apologising for what I have done to him. I admit that I have been cruel to him because I was going through the trenches of my past but that's never an excuse. I ardently need to apologise to him.
I called him and he instantly picked up.
I took a deep breath and said
"Heyjakeareyoofreerighnow?"
"Wh..at?" I got that reaction from him on the other end of the line.
"Um I would like to meet you right now, are you available?" I asked, this time my words were better phrased.
We decided a place to meet. I entered a warm cafe, whose walls were soft wooden brown and a smell of coffee hung in the air. It met my nostrils and I drawn to order before Jake could arrive. The cafe was almost empty as it is said to be frequently visited by Baekjin Na. Union members occupy this warm place. I sat on a mahogany table facing the Han river. I wonder if Baekjin likes this view of looking down on people. Everything including the trees look tiny, just like ants.
I placed my bag on the table and got up to take the order. As I stood in front of the ordering table, the teenage looking barista came up to me and asked
"What would you like to order?"
"One tiramisu latte" I said
And only a second later the voice besides me said
"One Americano"
I looked at the stranger besides me and I was surprised to find that it was Jake who ordered that Americano. He nodded at me.
"Selena" he just said
"Jake" I said, as a little smile curled upon my lips.
With our drinks, we sat. Silence prevailed us to say anything but nevertheless I made an effort.
"How are you?" I asked
"Fine" he scoffed
He isn't fine at all. He was looking at the plain view which was below us and it gave me a time to examine him. Underneath his eyes there were visible stress lines present.
"What is happening in the union?" I asked
He sighed and said
"Union is in conflict with Mapo, the organisation across the river"
I nodded and said
"It means too much work for you"
He chuckled and said
"It must be nice for you, you left the union"
I slightly gasped at his comment on the fact that I left the union. He must want to leave too. Baekjin is getting demanding day by day and the increase of enemies of the union is the main reason why I left the union. I don't want to be dragged in the teenage gangsters' wars. Even though I am training to be in one. Jake's emotions were masked by his smiles, and even his smile seemed force. The last thing I want is to see him unhappy after what he has gone through.
After we have talked about the weather. He suddenly said-
"I am tired" his eyes drooped and he seemed much older than before. It was as if he aged in a moment.
I couldn't say anything to this, how can I. I left them all for my own personal benefit.
"What was your purpose of calling me here?" He asked
"To apologise for that day, when I held your collar?" I said
He waved a hand over my apology. Means that he didn't felt bad for what I have done.
I got up to pay for our drinks and he got a call, presumably from the union.
"Come with me" Jake said as we stepped out of the cafe
After some skirmishes and denials, he dragged me into the pit of the hounds at Yeongdeungpo office of Mr Na.
At the familial lobby which I thought I would never return, I met Dean. My nostrils tingled with the smell of air perfume mixed with cigarettes.
I anxiously looked around to see if any union hound was present today. Jake saw through my worries and said
"They are not here today"
I heaved a sigh of relief. Dean was saying something but my mind was making a list of dangers that could happen when I am in the premises of the union.
"You are really zoning out today, did you fight your boyfriend?"
"No...I didn't fight with my boyfriend" I said that a little too loud
"Geez you love him so much" Jake said as he collapsed on the sofa
"You has a boyfriend?" Dean asked, his eyes were quite widened with shock
"Yes, I have a boyfriend" I said firmly and saying it firmly was the one I will regret at the moment.
"Hmm? Selena's boyfriend?" I heard a familiar doting voice behind me. I was dreading to look over my shoulder but when I did. It was Baekjin Na.
My heart thumped in fear of the unknown as I outwardly questioned
"What is he doing here..." I muttered. He was smartly dressed. He wore a turtleneck sweater and black pants. He indeed was looking dashing but as well as scary.
His crimson eyes were digging a hole at my face it seemed but thankfully poor Jake stepped in between us for the paper he had to deliver to Mr Na, but his speech of deliverance was stopped as Baekjin held out his palm to stop him.
Baekjin displayed the signs of silence rage. He just said to me
"Selena, follow me" .....'into the darkness' my thoughts completed the sentence.
I addressed to Jake and Dean in the most deadly voice
"You both are dead, wait for me in hell"
I followed him, through the lobby and till his room, I couldn't shake off that uncomfortable feeling that something is about to happen. As I entered his room behind him, I saw that the room's vacant temperature had just turned cold. I entered the room, my footsteps were echoing the tiled floor. The marvellous view from the glass plastered on the front wall was wholly grey. The sun was shining among the grey clouds yet it felt as if it was about to rain.
The broad desk was scattered with papers and documents of all types. From random test papers to the documents of the companies and illegal businesses. He motioned me to sit down on his brown luxurious sofa, as he sat right opposite to me. I felt quite overwhelmed as the atmosphere of his office contributed to my worries and anxiety. My legs were quivering, I was compelled to sit cross legged. Baekjin was still as a statue, his eyes pierced me.
I gulped and asked
"Why did you call me here?"
"No particular reason, just wanted to see you" as he said this, in his deep voice, he rested his chin on his knuckles and observed me for a while. I shifted uncomfortably on my seat and didn't meet his eyes. Why isn't he serving me tea or coffee..?
Minutes passed in that gloomy and uncanny atmosphere. I rose up. I said
"Well, if you're done seeing me, I'm going" I turned my back towards him and preceded towards the direction of the door.
"Sit" his stern voice made me stop on my tracks, I winced at the strain of his voice. First he says that you and me can't be friends, now after causing so much sadness and a throng of tears on my part, he hails me here without my consent. What does he think he is doing? I have a life besides him.
"Stop bothering me please" I said as I turned my head over my shoulder to meet his gaze. He sharply opened his crimson eyes, yet his expression was of calm. There was no turmoil, yet. But at that time, I didn't realise that the storm was coming. He got up, slightly walked towards me. He in front of me. As he looked up to meet my expression. I got a sudden chill in my spine. Baekjin was sneering at me. Even he was at just a little distance, he kept walking towards me. I, badly wanted to go away from the room. I walked backwards and my back thudded on the door. I was caught in his web.
My back was against the door. He stood looming upon me. He seemed tall like Gerard but imposing.
"You walk in my den and now..."he said and he definitely looked pissed as he furrowed his eyebrows slightly. He chuckled and said
"You still haven't changed..... that fucker's eyes, that naive face, that vulnerable eyes"
He banged his fist on the door and the door reverberated not trembled. It literally it. As he touched my face from the back of his knuckled, I flinched. His cold knuckled were trembling.
"Don't touch me" I shot him a glare with my shattered willpower.
"Ahh I like that look" his face twisted in a menacing grin and my willpower was forced to shrink, yet something anonymous was giving me courage to face him and his vices. In an instant, he coiled his hands around my waist. They were tightly gripping me and I squirmed in his grip. His everything, felt like a statue, again, devoid of any emotion and softness. I wanted a way out but as I was looking up at him, he crashed his lips to mine. His kiss was harsh and soft, yet it was repulsed by me because it lacked warmth.
My heart was constricted in my throat. I felt furious and in that fury I slapped the head of the union. My hand moved instinctively at that point.
His grip loosed as his cheek went red from the impact of the slap, his eyes widened. I will never forget the way he clenched his jaw and barred his teeth at me. I was plainly terrified. My heartbeat was so loud that I could listen it vibrating in my ears. I clenched my skirts .
"You'll pay for it" he said and he raised his hand up in the air. Every morsel of my confidence and strength flew. Strangely, imagine you forget things easily when you want to tell them to someone, they don't enter your mind. Coincidently, life plays tricks, the things you want to recall don't spring in mind at a random moment, they spring in mind when you need them the most.
When my mind went blank, a certain green haired guy whose face I always die to see, came like a flash to mind. The whole world stopped as his words made his way like a quote in a book, or rain in a desert.
"We can't get Selena get hurt!"
"The Selena I like didn't run away"
"You are the bravest person I know"
Even though I was shrinking in defiance, I didn't anymore. I was ready to tackle the slap of the strongest man and directly looked at him with determination in my eyes but much to my relief his hand stopped midway and he limply dropped it. He suddenly placed his both hands on my shoulders and said
"Sel...I sincerely like you"
The glass plastered on his wall, from where you could see the whole city. I could see the grey, thundering clouds gather in the sky. The lights in his room flickered and all went dark. Just like the surroundings my mind couldn't comprehend what was happening.
"Wh..at a...a..are you ta....lkin...g abou...t?" I was stuttering but all of it seemed pointless. His head hung low. What a strange occurrence , when a guy confesses to a girl, there are butterflies in her chest.....none was happening to me. The clouds were thundering loudly, telling everyone of their presence, but yet I couldn't feel anything.
He got on his knees and grasped my hand. With my palm, he cupped his face. It was soft, it wasn't cold, it was burning hot. As it was dark, I couldn't see well but just then the thunder growled and lighting flashed on his face and I saw. I saw how sorrowful his face looked.The pain was deep entrenched on his features.
"Your hands are warm" he said and released them. All this action and I was stupefied till the core. I shuddered and turned away from him. He was still kneeling on the floor.
"Sorry" was the only word that popped on my mind to say. I couldn't say it. None of it. I simply came out of his office and with my back against his office door. I collapsed on the floor, curled my knees to my chest and blankly stared at the darkness.