The difference between love and pain, is that pain will always win. Love can mask the pain for awhile, but in the end, the pain will always come back.
That's atleast how Esmyrie and Lo'ak feel.
She is there, comforting him, holding him, protecting him. She is happy, strong, well. And then next thing she knows, is that she is pulling their braids apart as an overwhelming sense of pain enters her mind.
It's like before, with the villages. It overwhelms her mind and body, where all she can feel is pain.
"Esmyrie?" Lo'ak asks, not understanding the sudden need to pull their queues apart.
It's still midday, his argument with his father only a few hours ago, and so she has no reason or need to have to leave the forest.
The pain comes in waves, at first it is like a small pinch to her brain, one, two times.
And then it goes away.
"Something is wrong." Esmyrie whispers.
"What's wrong?"
"I... it's like back with Payakan, with the villages." Esmyrie tries to explain, clenching her eyes shut from the sharp pain that suddenly enters her brain again.
"We need to get you back home then... dad said to always get you back home if this happens." Lo'ak says, beginning to stand up, grabbing onto her forearms.
The small pinches suddenly turn into one sharp pain, having to grab Lo'aks arm for support as she would fall other wise.
Eywa enters Esmyrie's mind, and the image Esmyrie shows makes her want to cry. It's a Tulkun and it's calf. They are being hunted by skypeople. She hears the wail the Tulkun gives, and how it still tries to protect it's young.
The Tulkun tries to fight the harpoon to the chest, but it ultimately gives up, flopping over and floating out in the sea, the calf nearby, calling out to it's mother who is now dead.
Esmyrie see's in the distance two boats, one, the larger of the two is the same boat she see's when the fight breaks out in the open water, and the other is smaller, having an Avatar on board.
When the Tulkun take's it's last breath, Eywa returns Esmyrie back to reality.
Esmyrie takes an inhale of breath, her hand moving to her head, but she realizes the pain has vanished. As if her pain was the Tulkun's pain, and now with it dead, Esmyrie had nothing to feel.
If anything, Esmyrie feels numb, like there is something missing, like a life has just been lost and she won't accept it.
"My love? Esmyrie?" Lo'ak says, shaking the girl, his teeth clenched tightly from the pain still in his hands that have been left untreated.
"W-what?" The girl asks, her focus returning to the boy, and when their eyes connect she can see his worry.
"You did that weird thing again. Are you still in pain?" Lo'ak asks, his hold never leaving the girl.
"No... no, it's... the pain is gone. But we must warn your father."
"Dad? Why? Esmyrie what happened?" Lo'ak asks, his worry getting heavier.
He doesn't know if he wants to hear what is next. If she saw another vision, or if one of the visions became true, than surely that means all the other ones will become true too.
One vision happening could be coincidence, but two... could very well be a pattern.
If that's the case, that would mean one thing, his brothers fate has been decided, and he would have to watch live as his brother bleeds out. A reality he refuses to accept.
"I saw the Tulkun die." Esmyrie whispers, he eyes shining with tears.
"No... no you didn't." Lo'ak tries to deny.
"I'm sorry, Lo'ak. But I did... these visions, they are actually happening. We need to tell Mr. Sully. We need to tell him about the Tulkun." Esmyrie says sadly, grabbing onto the boys arm, as his hands are still injured.
She can tell that the boy is about to collapse to the ground, the reality setting in, that the visions in fact are true, and real, and are happening.
"Okay... okay. We tell my dad. He will know what to do." Lo'ak nods his head.
"And Neteyam?" Esmyrie asks.
"If we tell him about Neteyam he won't be in the right mindset... I know my father, he may be an ass sometimes but that news would break him. Not to mention Neteyam wouldn't care. He is too selfless, he would risk his life for us. If we tell him, he may even put himself in more danger because he would accept his fate." Lo'ak tries to explain.
And Esmyrie has to agree. She knows Neteyam. He is fierce, and strong, and a warrior. He would accept his fate, and put himself in even more danger as he wants to live up to his father. He would use his fate as a gift, and would throw himself into any situation without thinking about it, because his one goal would be to protect.
"Oh Eywa.... my brother is going to die, isn't he?" Lo'ak whispers, his brain betraying him to show the visions Esmyrie showed him once more.
He can't accept that truth. He can't accept that this is happening, that Eywa is being this cruel, showing them the future, warning them, but still making it so they can't change fate.
"No." Esmyrie says confidently. "We will save him. We will." Esmyrie says, pulling the boy to her.
She has seen many fears in life and has faced much grief. The loss of her mother, the first sadness she every experienced. She never met her mother, but when she was young and saw all the children with both parents, she couldn't help but wonder why she didn't have a mother. And so, she went and asked her father, and her father told her the sad truth that her mother is gone. Her most painful grief, losing her father. She felt gone, like she was taken from the world as well. She still has days where she can't think about him, because if she does she will end up crying.
But all that grief couldn't prepare her for this. She is grieving for someone that isn't even gone yet. She is grieving for a future, one that is surely meant to come true, but desperately hopes it doesn't. She shouldn't be grieving, Neteyam is still alive, he is still here, and yet she feels like she already lost him. Like she is slowly losing him.... and it's a horrid feeling.
"You can't say that." Lo'ak shakes his head. "You don't know... Eywa herself showed you that he dies!"
"But we won't let that happen. I won't let that happen. I may not know when or by who, but I know the vague timeline. I can use what Eywa has showed me to my advantage. We can save him. We will. But first we must warn Jake of the Tulkun. He will know what to do." Esmyrie says, trying to keep her mind focused on the task at hand.
"Esmyrie...." Lo'ak says, his voice turning rough as a new thought enters his mind.
He has heard how confident Esmyrie is in saving Neteyam. He see's the look of pure faith, that they will save him, and it frightens him beyond belief.
"I know what you are going to ask Lo'ak, and I won't promise it." Esmyrie says, already seeing the worry in his eyes, knowing the scenario that has just been placed in his mind.
She isn't lying when she says she would sacrifice herself for Neteyam, she just always hoped Lo'ak would never come to that conclusion, but it seems he just has.
"My love...." Lo'ak says, shaking his head.
She can't do that. She can't possibly sacrifice herself for Neteyam. She can't... he would die if she did. And he knows Neteyam would never forgive himself.
"Lo'ak. We don't have time to discuss this. We need to get back. We also need your mother to clean your hands." Esmyrie says, lightly getting out of the boys grip, beginning to walk back to the village.
She must warn Jake, and she must prepare for the fight that is ahead.
She may only have a few hours or days left, especially if she lets Eywa take her instead of Neteyam.
Lo'ak follows behind the girl, his ears pinned to his head in distress. This can't be happening. He can't possibly lose his mate because she wants to play hero. But Neteyam, he can't lose his big brother either. He can't lose any of his family. He just can't.
"Mr. Sully! Mr. Sully!" Esmyrie yells, running into the hut, instantly getting embarrassed when she realizes she interrupted Jake and Neytiri, who were sharpening a knife together, laughing.
Jake however instantly gets up at the girls worried expression, his eyes moving to the dried blood on her face, and the fact Lo'ak is no where to be seen.
"Lo'ak?! Where is he? Is he okay?" Jake asks, reaching the girl.
"What?" Esmyrie asks, confused as to why Jake would be so worried, and the she remembers, she has a dried bloody five fingered hand on her cheek and jaw from Lo'aks injured hands. "Oh.. yes, he is right behind me. His hands need cleaned but uh... Mr. Sully I had that weird vision again."
"What?! And you didn't think to come here for medicine?" Jake asks, already beginning to walk over to the small medkit, searching for the needle and morphine.
"Mr. Sully, that isn't necessary."
"Like hell it isn't. Last time you almost passed out from the pain." Jake grumbles, his eyes moving to Neytiri for help, his hands shaking so much he can't find the medicine.
Lo'ak seems to walk into the hut at that moment, and his parents instantly look at him, Neytiri abandoning the medkit to look over her sons injuries.
He has blood on his chest from where he hugged himself, and there is blood all along his hands and arms, the bruise from Jake still being present.
"My boy!" Neytiri cries, instantly pulling the boy into a hug before inspecting his hands, giving him a slight hiss before pulling him to sit by the fire, instantly going to grab herbs and spices to help heal his wounds.
Jake still can't seem to find the medicine, and his heart races at the thought of the girl in pain with him not being able to help. When his eyes catch the state of Lo'ak, his eyes widen, searching over the boy for any serious injuries, when he see's none he goes back to the medkit, his heart hearting when he spots the bruise he caused the boy.
"Mr. Sully, I'm really okay... I'm not in pain. But uh... there is a Tulkun." Esmyrie says.
"What?"
"You know how I told you about the villages burning and that came true? Well I got a vision of a Tulkun dying, and I'm pretty sure that just came true. Please, you need to send a search party out to find that animal." Esmyrie explains.
Jake looks over her face, seeing how serious the girl is about the matter, and nods his head.
"Okay... okay, we will go once Neytiri helps Lo'aks hands. You promise you are okay?" Jake asks, crouching down to be at her level.
"I'm okay. I just am scared." Esmyrie confesses.
"Me too... but it will be all okay." Jake tries to reassure.
"I just... I don't want a war." Esmyrie whispers.
"I will try my best to prevent one." The man truthfully says, giving her one more look over to make sure she has no injuries, before standing up and walking over to his son.
Lo'ak tenses when he hears the footsteps headed his way. He knows those footsteps all too well, and the last thing he wants right now is another argument. He has had two arguments already today, one with Tonowari and one with Jake, a breakdown, and now has come to terms that the visions are actually true. He can't handle another argument. He just can't.
"Can I see you hands?" Jake asks, his voice much more calm than it was hours ago.
Lo'ak at first doesn't do anything, continues to stare off into the distance, seeing how it has now gotten cloudy and is beginning to sprinkle, as if Eywa is grieving for the loss of the Tulkun as well. He guesses there are maybe four or five more hours before eclipse but he can't be certain anymore as storm clouds have entered the sky.
Lo'ak thinks this day may be the most difficult day for him. It started off somewhat decent, and then it all went downhill.
He felt love, and then the pain entered, pain with not being accepted, pain of not being seen. Pain in his hands, and his heart. And then Esmyrie showed him love, she connected to him, they bonded and she stopped him from breaking down. And then the pain came back once she had her vision.
Pain always wins, that's all Lo'ak can think.
"Son?" Jake timidly asks, snapping the boy out of his thoughts.
Lo'ak sighs and gives his hands to his father, still shaking from pain.
Jake looks over them, and can see that some skin is torn and mangled. He however doesn't see much swelling, and luckily doesn't feel any broken fingers.
"You scratched them up pretty badly... what happened?" Jake asks, dropping the boys hands and sitting down next to him.
Esmyrie takes this as her sign to leave the two alone, but Lo'ak looks back and shakes his head, and so Esmyrie stays.
"I had a fight with a tree." Lo'ak sarcastically says.
Jake is taken aback by the harshness of his sons words but nods his head in understanding.
"Did you at least win?" Jake tries to joke.
"No... just another reason to be disappointed in me, right?" Lo'ak asks, his gaze moving from the sky to his father.
Jake takes a deep breath before exhaling it. He deserves that comment, he knows that.
"Son, what I said ear-"
"Don't even bother apologizing. It's fine, sir." Lo'ak says, being done with the conversation, being grateful that his mother returns with a basket full of healing oil and herbs.
Once Lo'aks hands are healed, Jake will get a search party together and find that Tulkun, and then he will return home where he can apologize to Lo'ak, and then everything will be okay.
Pain triumphs love, unless there is a love worth fighting for. And Jake's family, that is a love that will always be victorious of pain, he is sure of it.
What little he knew though of the future that is yet to come, and that love, no matter how strong, will never be a victory of grief, at least not at first.
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the fact the next chapters are when Jake fines the tracking device, and then the fight scene kills me :( No more happy moments in this fic unfortuantly.
Also what Lo'ak was going to ask is "Please promise me you won't sacrifice yourself for Neteyam?" But Esmyrie already knew what he was thinking because they are that close.
Also, I may be inactive from friday-sunday as family is coming into town, so I apologize in advance.
Let me know what you think is going to happen at the fight scene. I bet whatever you think is wrong.