Where's My Love? - Lo'ak

Chapter 36: Keep Your Hands There

When Esmyrie returns, Lo'ak is quick to move from Kiri's side, standing up and inspecting the girl's arms.

He already had a bowl of water and rag ready too, Neytiri even helped teach him how to grind the Dapophet plant to make a healing ointment.

Neteyam rolled his eyes at his brothers protective nature, a small smirk forming on his face though when he sees his baby brother so worried. He likes seeing his brother like this, happy, in love.

When Esmyrie enters, Neteyam looks over her quickly, and when he sees that there are no new injuries he goes back to playing with Tuk.

"Do your arms hurt?" Lo'ak asks, urging her over to a sleeping mat where the ointment and bowl lay, helping sit her down before sitting in front of her.

"Yeah...."

Lo'ak doesn't like her confession. He hates when she is in pain, and it seems that recently the only thing she is, is in pain.

He is her protector and yet he feels like he is doing a shit job at it. Ever since they kissed, he has made it his mission to always protect her from harm. He will put his life on the line for her, always.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there." Lo'ak whispers, his ears flicking up from the sound of his dad walking back in, sitting next to Kiri and whispering words to Neytiri.

"It's okay." Esmyrie says, gritting her teeth when Lo'ak puts the wet rag on her skin.

"It isn't okay. I don't like when you get hurt."

"And I don't like when you blame yourself for things you can't control." Esmyrie says truthfully, making sure she speaks softly so the family can't hear her.

Lo'ak doesn't say anything, his eyes just focus on her arms that are bloody yet again. It seems like anytime her scratches begin to heal, new ones form.

"Can I admit something?" Lo'ak asks truthfully, scared she will reject him for wanting to be so open.

"You can tell me anything." Esmyrie admits.

"When I saw you in Neteyams arms, I thought the worst.... and it... I think a part of my heart left. It wasn't until I saw that you were still breathing that I could breathe again."

"Lo'ak-"

"And my first thought wasn't 'is my bestfriend okay?' it was 'is my love okay?'. I know we haven't really discussed our... whatever this is-" Lo'ak says, pointing to himself and Esmyrie, "- but I don't want it to go away... ever." Lo'ak finishes, keeping his eyes cast downward, working on her arms, too scared to make eye contact and get rejected.

Esmyrie's heart swells. She can see the future with him. Those kids not being just Lo'ak's but hers as well. She can see her and him having a happy life, and she wants it so badly.

"I don't want this to end either," Esmyrie grabs his chin and lifts it up so his eyes meet her own, "I want this. I want us." Esmyrie confesses and she can see when Lo'aks eyes shift, from concern to love.

"really?" Lo'ak must ask, being worried this is all a dream.

He is his own worst enemy, and he hates that about himself. He can never truly believe that when someone says something nice about him, that it is true. He has been called an outcast, a freak, and a disappointment too many times.

"Yes, really." Esmyrie says, stopping his hand that goes to put ointment on her arms.

He looks at the hand that holds his arm and even though it's a small simple touch, it means everything to him. Her touching him, him knowing she is here, safe and breathing, is all he needs in life.