Chapter Seventeen
"I said, where the fuck is Bait?"
One by one the Loser Brigade looked away from me, then looked at each other, then looked over at Raven, who said nothing and sat back on the sofa with his legs folded and his hands tucked behind his head, like he wasn't about to touch this conversation with a ten foot pole. Meanwhile, River was frowning curiously, because he had no fucking idea who I was talking about.
"Maybe I'm not speaking proper Greek," I said dryly, "What part of that sentence did you fuckers not understand?"
"It's not that," Seven said, folding his arms tightly over his chest, a little habit he did whenever he was nervous and didn't want to admit it, "It's just... hard to answer that."
"He's not fucking dead, is he?" I demanded.
"No," Three said immediately, then paused when he glanced at Hadrian, who simply frowned in silence.
"Great. Then where is he? I'd like an address."
"We don't know," Hadrian said at last. I scowled at him.
"What do you mean you don't know? How the fuck do you lose a six foot four bag of bones that walks like a cripple and growls like a dog?"
"Okay, you don't need to be rude," Seven said, annoyed, "And it's not that we lost him..." His voice trailed, like he wanted to add more onto that, but wasn't exactly sure how he was going to. I raised an eyebrow, then looked at Hadrian again, because clearly this guy was calling the shots. Or at least between Six and Three he was, because every time one of those two wanted to talk, they'd look at Hadrian first, like they were waiting for permission.
"Gods, don't tell me you guys are fucking," I said, making Six turn red right to the tips of his ears as an obvious answer, "Holy fuck, you are. All three of you? What, was one asshole not enough, now you had to add a third?"
"Oh shut up," Three snapped, "That's not the point. The point is, we don't know where Bait is because we're not allowed to know, alright?"
"Not allowed to know," I repeated, "Why the fuck not? What makes Bait so special?"
"We're not sure," Six said slowly, "Just that he needs to be protected, so they took him somewhere safe. That's all. We're not allowed to see him until we get this situation with the Mother sorted out."
"Situation with the Mother?" I asked. Six stared at me, then looked at Three helplessly and Three just rolled his eyes and covered his ears, looking away from me. Of course he was going to be a fucking dick about it, because he was a fucking dick.
"The Mother is planning to wipe out the Hades family," Seven said, making me glance at him, "You're not an idiot. That was her plan the entire time."
"Okay, and? How's that my problem?"
"Because you're part of the family too, you fucking idiot," Seven said testily, making me narrow my eyes, "And it makes my skin crawl knowing we're related, so just shut up and do what they say, Four. Get better. Be better. Be fucking happy for once in your life. You're surrounded by shit we've never had before. Why can't you just be happy about it for once and let this whole thing go? At least for now, until you're strong enough to defend yourself and the family when the time comes." I huffed and wasn't sure what to say right away, because he'd successfully pissed me off. Who the fuck did he think he was, taking about relations and family and that bullshit?
"Gods, you guys are so desperate for attention, it's gross," I said, rising to my feet, making Seven glare at me, "So you got kicked around a little growing up, so fucking what? You think all of us lived cushy lives back at the compound? Fuck no, but it's a lot better than living some stupid lie."
"It's not a lie," Seven protested, getting to his feet immediately, "You're so fucking brainwashed you can't see that that place was a goddamn hellhole, Four! And yeah, you're right! It wasn't a hellhole for just me! It was a hellhole for all of us, but we were so blinded by the Mother's insanity that we didn't realize it until we actually stepped out into the real world!"
"Real world? You call this the real world? Living in a fancy house full of stupid shit you fuckers don't need? What house needs three fucking kitchens and two hundred bedrooms? What house needs this many people living in it? Real world? If this is your idea of the real world, it fucking sucks!"
"Yeah, because you don't know what it's like here yet because you're being so fucking stubborn about how great the Mother is--"
"I never said she was great!"
"Really? Because if anyone sounds like a fucking simp for the Mother, it's you!" I had no fucking idea what a simp was, but I'd had it with Seven's stupid pretty mouth flapping away like he knew everything about everything.
Without hesitation, I slammed my head right into Seven's and he cursed, taking a step back to grab at his head. Everyone else shot to their feet at the same time. A second later, Seven snarled, flashing his fangs at me and he lunged, shoving me back onto the sofa behind me. I cursed, catching him against me and trying to launch him over the sofa, but goddamn it, he was too heavy for me to lift.
I never thought I'd say that in my life.
He slugged me hard in the jaw, sending my head snapping to the side and blood filled my mouth.
"Seven!" I had no idea who shouted that between everyone in the room. I cursed, trying to wrestle Seven off me, but he was fucking strong for a dick without magic. He slammed me back into the sofa and punched me in the face again. I swung my elbow up and caught him in the jaw, making his head snap back. He lunged at me again and this time, I saw something weird flash in his eyes, something red and murderous, but as soon as it was there, it was gone and a second later, Hadrian had looped his arms up under Seven's and was hauling him back.
I went to push off the sofa to go after him, but River was in front of me out of nowhere, shoving his hand against my chest to push me back down on the sofa.
"Get the fuck outta my way!" I snarled.
"Absolutely not," River responded firmly. I glared at him, ready to hit him, but Raven's hand landed hard on my shoulders and held me in place on the sofa.
"Alright, that's enough," Raven ordered, looking around the room at us, "Obviously this isn't going to go anywhere. If you can't have a civilized conversation, then you guys can leave for now."
"Fuck you! I asked where Bait was," I snarled, then whirled back to the losers, who were glaring at me, "I need to know where Bait is! He's the only one who was in the dungeons with me back with the Mother! He knows the names of the assholes that tortured me!" Seven panted hard against his anger and Hadrian still kept a strong grip on him, but he glanced at Six, who seemed to be swallowing a lot, like he was going to be sick. He shook his head when Three touched his shoulder and he quickly left the room. Three cursed, then looked at Hadrian, who gave him a nod, and with that, Three was sprinting out of the room after Six.
"Bait doesn't know who hurt you," Hadrian said, turning to look at me with glowing blue eyes and I stiffened, "He told us he didn't hear any names. Just what was done to you." With that, he slid his hand down Seven's arm, took him by the hand, and led him toward the exit, the door shutting quietly behind them.
Anger surged through my veins like fucking lava. It burned and itched, but no matter what I did, nothing was going to cool it. It was like I was on fire from the inside out.
"Fuck." Raven's voice. It sounded strangely far away instead of right behind me.
"What's happening?"
"I don't know, call Hades immediately."
The heat surged through my system like a tidal wave, spreading out through my extremities. I wanted to scream, but I couldn't hear over the sudden strange buzzing in my ears, so I could've been screaming for all I knew, but I couldn't hear shit.
Doesn't know who hurt me? How could he possibly not know who hurt me? Bait had been there the whole time!
An image of Bait flashed across my mind. Him just sitting there with his back to my cell, his hands over his ears, his eyes shut tight, his mouth moving, but I couldn't hear anything he was saying.
He did it on purpose, I realized. He wasn't looking at me or listening to me on purpose.
Why wasn't he listening to me? Why wasn't he doing anything? Why was he just sitting there?
Logically I knew Bait couldn't do shit for me in that moment. The guy could barely walk on his own, let alone throw grown males over his head. That still didn't seem to simmer the anger boiling under my skin, though. There was still this throbbing rage that wanted to lash out, that wanted to grab Bait and slam him into the floor until he bled.
How could he just fucking sit there while that shit was going on next to him? Why didn't he at least just fucking look at me?
And what would that have changed? If anything, it was almost like Bait had kept his eyes closed to let me have at least one sliver of dignity by not having an audience for the shit those bastards did to me.
Abruptly, a strange memory simmered to the surface. It was so blurry that it was hard to make out, but I could hear Bait's voice...
"Someone's coming... Four, do what I said. Play dead. Now!" For some insane reason, I remember doing what he said. I hit the floor and laid there unmoving. I could hear footsteps moving past on the cobblestones. I could hear voices I didn't recognize, except... No, wait.
"We're here..." That sounded like Hadrian's voice.
"We need to get out, we can talk later." Three's voice.
"We're not leaving without the others." Hadrian again.
"We don't have time for this!" Gods, Three was such a whiny bitch sometimes. He always had grade A temper tantrums, and that was coming from me of all people.
The sound of people coming toward my cell made me panic. I peeked an eye open, but I couldn't see very well. I could only make out Bait sitting in his cell, frowning from his usual dark corner. His eyes did that weird thing where they flashed, almost like they were about to burst with color, but as quickly as it was there, it was gone and I was convinced I was hallucinating.
Someone's hand touched me and the panic in me erupted.
"Fuck you!" I screamed and felt my head collide with someone else's and some more voices, but they all sounded so morphed and demonic. I scrambled across the stones, launching myself into the corner by Bait's cell. I looked into his cell in a panic, waiting for him to tell me what to do.
That's right.
Bait always told me what to do.
"Four, ssh, keep your voice down... Here." An image of Bait's hands poking through the bars into my cell, his hands opening to reveal a small piece of stale bread. I cupped my hands under his and devoured what was there, licking the crumbs up with a desperation I'd never felt before.
"Four, play dead." I dropped to the cell and listened to footsteps walking by, heavy sighs, grumbling. I was left alone for a few hours longer.
I had vague blurry memories of curling up in the corner of my cell by Bait's cell, shivering against the cold, sucking in sharp panicked breaths.
"It's over for now," Bait murmured, "Just breathe."
"C-C-Cold... hurts..."
"I know."
"Make... it... stop..."
"I can't."
"Please... fuck, just... kill... me..."
"I can't... I don't want to," Bait paused, almost like he sounded confused, "I really don't."
"S-So cold..." Out of the darkness, Bait slipped his hand into my cell until he could wrap it around my hand and I shivered. His hand was cold, but somehow it was still warmer than anything else at the moment, so I just scooted closer and pressed my cheek against his hand, breathing out a sigh of relief.
"What are you doing?" Bait sounded confused.
"Cold..."
"Oh... Four?"
"Mmm?"
"Are you falling asleep?"
"Mm mm..."
"That's okay. Get some sleep." He started to take his hand away.
"No!" I gasped, clasping at his hand, pressing it against my cheek. Bait stopped moving.
"Okay. I'll wait here until you fall asleep, okay?"
"Okay... mkay..."
Fuck. Bait didn't just sit there that whole time. Jesus fuck, he'd been there with me the whole time. He only turned away because there was nothing he could do and he didn't want to hear or see what was happening. But whenever we were alone, he was always there.
That's right.
Bait was the only reason I didn't fucking die.
"I c-c-can't," I stuttered, scrunching myself in the corner as I stared at the plate of food they'd left behind in my cell, "I can't eat it. It's hot. It's scary. I don't want to." I looked at Bait, who looked down at the stale bread in his hands. He averted his eyes for a moment, then broke the piece in half and came over to me. He knelt down and put his hands through the cell, parting his fingers to reveal the bread there.
"Then at least eat this. You'll die without food."
"H-How do you know? Maybe I want to d-die..."
"No, you don't."
"Wh-What the fuck d-do you know," I managed, looking back at the food on the plate and stiffening as I remembered the last time I'd caved and ate from that plate, "N-No, I don't w-want to e-eat. No more f-food. I hate it."
"This won't hurt you," Bait said calmly, pushing his hands further towards me, "It might upset your stomach a little, but it won't hurt you and it'll at least be something. You need your strength."
"N-N-No-No--"
"Four," Bait snapped and I stiffened, looking at him to see him glaring at me with those mismatched eyes, "Eat. Now." I looked down at the bread in his hands, at the plate by the cell door, then back at those mismatched eyes. I stared at him.
"H-How... are you even... still alive?" I whispered. Bait frowned.
"Because I can't kill her if I'm dead."
"H-H-Her? M-Mother?"
"Eat the food, Four. Because if you're not strong enough, how are you going to kill them?"
"K-Kill them?"
"The people who hurt you," Bait murmured, cocking his head and those mismatched eyes piercing right into me, "You can't let them live, Four. They hurt you. They hurt others. You cannot let people like that live. They're monsters."
"M-Monsters?"
"Yes. Maybe you don't want to live anymore... And that's okay. It's okay to be tired. But you can't go without making them suffer first, do you understand me?"
"K-Kill them?"
"Yes. And do it slowly," Bait said and he reached out to take my hand with one of his, pressing the bread into my palm and all the while holding eye contact with me, "Make them suffer, Four. When you find them, maybe a long time from now, you make them suffer for everything they did. Do not forget what they did to you. When you close your eyes, remember. When you sleep, remember. And when the day comes that you are finally strong enough, remember every last thing they ever did to you and make them bleed for it, Four." I swallowed thickly, taking the bread in my hands, looking down at it before I looked up, going still when I realized Bait's blue eyes had flashed in color before it vanished.
"Bait--"
"Eat, Four. Get strong again, but do it on your own. Be strong for you. Not for the Mother. Not for anyone else, because no one else matters, except you. There is no one else in the world you can trust, but you." I stared at him as he picked up his piece of bread and bit into it. I looked down at the bread in my hands, then drew it to my lips.
Get strong, Four.
Do it on your own.
Be strong for you.
Not for the Mother.
Not for anyone else.
No one else matters, except you.
Jesus fuck. That's where it came from. I mean, yeah, no shit, but that's where that mantra had come from. I couldn't figure out where it had come from, that insistent urge to get strong, to get out there, to get revenge. Yes, no shit, but in the past, I would've just gone running to the Mother. I would've relied on her to help me, to call the shots.
Ugh. Seven was right.
I didn't say the Mother was great, but I didn't need to, because my actions were enough to prove it. I did everything for that fucking bitch. I bent over backwards for every word that fell out of her mouth, and in the end, it was her fault I was in that cell. It was her fault I was fucking brutalized and fucked over. I went on and on about the bastards who hurt me, and oh fuck yeah I was going to come after them, but they weren't the only ones I was going to make pay.
Bait... I have no idea where the fuck you are, Bait, but don't worry.
You were the only fucking person who held my hand when the world was cold and dark.
I was going to find those assholes and I was going to make them pay. And when I was done with their miserable asses, I was going to find Bait and together we were going to make the Mother pay.
I woke up suddenly.
My eyes snapped open and I found myself staring up at the ceiling of my gaudy ass bedroom at the Hacian palace. I blinked a couple times, just to make double sure I wasn't fucking dreaming again, then turned my head to see Lucy sitting at the end of my bed, his head in his hands. Sitting curled up in an armchair with a blanket laid over him was River. Not far from him, Hades was stewing over that dumb little electronic tablet of his. He actually looked like he was about to break the thing over his knee.
Couldn't have him breaking expensive pieces of equipment, I guess.
"Morning," I said. Lucy shot to his feet and Hades dropped the tablet, which cracked on the floor, making me scowl.
Well, so much for not breaking the equipment.
River also shot up from the armchair and almost banged his knee on the coffee table. He looked startled by the blanket, then shook his head and cast it aside so he could join Lucy and Hades at my bedside.
"It's sunset," Hades said dryly. I looked out the balcony window and sure enough, the sun was disappearing behind the tree line in a wave of oranges and pinks.
"Oh. Well. Fuck me, I guess."
"Yeah," Hades said, then shook his head and went to get his medical bag of wonders as Lucy leaned over to touch me. He hesitated, like he was waiting for me to hit him, but I didn't. I just watched him and he took my silence as consent as he reached over to place his hand on my forehead.
"His fever is gone," Lucy said with a sigh of relief, "Oh, thank the gods."
"We're not out of the woods yet," Hades reminded him as he returned with his bag, "I'm going to run some tests. That was fucking weird. Raven said he didn't experience anything like that when his change came."
"I can't remember a single angel who went through that either," Lucy admitted grimly, "Perhaps it's a rarity?"
"So rare that your old ass has never seen it? Doubt it," Hades muttered, making Lucy scowl as he took a thermometer and stuck it under my tongue.
"Wha happen?" I asked past the thermometer.
"Your fever suddenly spiked so hard that it nearly killed you," Hades answered, "It was so abrupt..." His voice trailed as he pulled the thermometer out of my mouth and stared at the readings, then frowned.
"And just like that, it's fucking gone. Like you were never sick in the first place."
"Oh, cool."
"I mean, I guess, but that worries me."
"Why?" I asked. Hades ignored me and went back to his medical bag. I rolled my eyes, then looked at River, who was watching anxiously from the end of the bed. I frowned.
"Did you fall asleep in here?" I asked. River cleared his throat, averting his eyes a little and he actually looked a little pink. I raised an eyebrow. Lucy glanced at him, then looked at me with a pleasant smile.
"He was the one who carried you here and he's been here ever since."
"Ever since? How long was I out this time?"
"Two days."
"Two fucking days," I demanded, then paused when my stomach made the worst whining demonic mutant sound I'd ever heard, making everyone look at me, "I'm fucking starving." Lucy blinked, then looked at Hades, then at River, who looked relieved to hear it.
"Of course. How about we make you some soup--"
"I want bread."
"Bread?"
"Yeah. And peaches."
"Peaches?"
"Yeah, just like... plain peaches."
"Okay," Lucy said slowly, then nodded, "I can manage that. River, do you mind watching over him for us?" River shook his head. Hades scowled and opened his mouth, clearly ready to protest the suggestion, but Lucy was already turning around and shooing him toward the door.
"We'll be back soon," Lucy told me before he shut the door behind them. I watched them go, raising an eyebrow before I turned to look at River, who approached me and sat on the edge of the bed.
"Why did you sleep in here," I asked, "Don't you have a nice big bed somewhere else?" River shrugged.
"I suppose, but I feel I was needed here."
"Why? You're not a doctor."
"You ask a lot of questions."
"Yeah, well, considering I grew up in a fucking cult and know absolutely nothing about your freaky ass world, yeah. I'd say I have a right to ask a lot of questions," I replied dryly. River blinked, then looked at me curiously.
"Yes... Yes, I suppose so. My apologies."
"Oh, please, drop the prissy rich boy attitude. We both know that's not you," I said. River stared at me and he got this strange look on his face. I couldn't tell if he was impressed by that or if he was offended, but he eventually shook his head, then looked at me in relief.
"I'm glad you're back to your usual pain in the ass self," he replied. I snorted.
"Nah, not even close."
"No?"
"Well, no, I mean, I'm definitely gonna have to continue being a pain in the ass. Like I said, that was the whole reason I was created. On the other hand... Maybe something's different."
"Different?" River asked. I nodded, frowning a little as I reached up to rub the side of my head, because I wasn't entirely sure what I meant either. At the same time, though, I felt different somehow. It was almost like everything felt like it was snapping into place.
"Hey," I said, making River look at me, "What would you say if I said I'd be willing to marry you?" River choked and coughed, making me give him a droll stare.
"I beg your pardon?"
"Yeah. But you gotta give me time," I said, making River frown, "I'm not ready."
"Not ready?"
"Yeah. I need to prepare, and so do you."
"Whatever for?"
"I'm not prepared for all of the ramifications that come with marriage," I said, making River raise an eyebrow as I quoted Jaques's earlier rant, "Or whatever. Plus, something tells me that the main person we gotta convince is fucking Hades, for some insane reason. Don't know why that asshole has a say in who I marry, but whatever. I don't want him to get in our way."
"I suppose so, but what brought this on," River asked, confused, "Surely you're not interested in marriage... and its ramifications." I raised an eyebrow.
"You're a lord, aren't you?"
"Yes, and?"
"And once you're married and you take over the Windstorm clan, you'll have an army at your disposal, right?"
"Yes?"
"And, I'll officially be a prince or whatever. Which means I'll have an army too."
"I'm sorry, are we going to war soon?" River asked bewildered. I smirked.
"Oh yeah, baby. Oh yeah."