Two Months Later
***
Jake washed his hands in the sink of Noise's bathroom on their tour bus. The bus was very mind-blowing, filled with the latest gadgets. It was well decorated, and smelled of lavender. Which was shocking to him when he climbed inside. He was expecting a shambles. Empty beer cans everywhere, used condoms on the floor, girls waiting in the backroom. But the place was very fancy, with large white sofas along the walls. They all had bunk beds, and there was one master bedroom at the back for sleeping in while they travelled the country. Jake stared at himself in the large silver mirror, a slow grin forming on his face.
He was on Noise's tour bus, using their bathroom. It was so surreal.
After drying his hands, he stepped out and into the living area, and the guys were plucking and tuning their guitars in preparation for tonight's show. Mike leaned in, singing the lines of one of his most memorable songs. The song was usually very fast and upbeat, but this one was slow and acoustic. Jake sank into the white sofa and listened to him. Cris and Dillan did too, everyone watching him in awe.
There was no doubt that the entire band was talented. But everyone on the planet, including Cris and Dillan, knew that Mike was something special. He could make up lyrics on the spot; he could think of melody while asleep. There weren't many people like him on this planet.
When he was done, he blinked rapidly, like escaping a trance. "Sorry, I got a bit lost there." He laughed and set the guitar down.
"How do you do it?" Jake asked, leaning into him. "How do you think of the words? They seem to come to you so easily."
Mike shrugged. "I just feel them in my gut. They're there when I write a song, begging to be let free." He chuckled. "I think of the lyrics as more of a story being told. You need a beginning, a middle, and an end. It doesn't have to be in that order, but they all have to be there."
"What about a song about love?" Jake queried.
Mike nodded sympathetically. Jake hadn't told them the ins and outs of what happened between him and Jess. But Mike wasn't stupid; he knew a love-sick man when he saw one. It was the majority of the reason why the band had invited him on the tour bus before the show began, Jake believed. They had spent a lot of time together with all the hours in the studio; was it stupid of him to consider them his friends?
"Love is the trickiest song to write. It doesn't have rules you can follow. Sure, the beginning, middle, and end rule still applies, but not every love story has an ending to tell.
Jake nodded slowly, picking up Mike's guitar from the floor. Jake glanced at him, asking for approval, which he got before he tuned it to the right notes.
He ran his fingers up and down the strings, letting them cut into his calloused tips, but it didn't hurt now after all these years playing.
"Do you guys mind listening to what I've written?"
The three men nodded, sitting back and watching him patiently.
Jake took a deep breath to steady himself, then he closed his eyes and started to play.
It was a song about Jess. Of course it was. It had taken him ages to write it, especially the lyrics. But he had to get his feelings out. He had to write their story down. He made sure to choose all the best notes-the ones that suited her and felt like her. The words that flowed were promises and secrets, things he wished he could experience just with her.
And when it was done, he opened his eyes as saw three sets of eyes glued on him.
"Fucking hell, man." Cris exclaimed, standing up and moving to sit next to him. "All this time you could sing and play like that, and you've been editing our fucking music."
"You have the voice of an angel." Dillan told him and closed his gaping mouth.
Jake laughed and shook his head. He never handled flattery well.
But it was Mike's words that meant the most to him. What did he think?
"So, this song is about your girl?" He inquired, his brow furrowed.
Jake shook his head. "She's not my girl. She was never my girl." He replied sadly. Jake sighed and then told them the whole story.
From the very beginning.
When he was done, the guys looked at him sadly. "Fuck, that's heart-breaking." Dillan said, shaking his head in disbelief.
Who knew Dillan was such a softie? It was nice to see him in this new light, not just as the badass drummer from Noise.
"She's the girl that came in the studio that time, isn't she?" Cris asked.
Jake nodded.
"And you wrote that, for her?" Mike asked, leaning forward now, elbows leaning on his thighs.
He nodded again.
"And she'd be coming tonight? To the concert."
Jake shrugged. "I don't know. I gave her the ticket, but that was months ago. We haven't spoken since then."
Mike stood up, pressing buttons on his phone and clicking the loud speaker.
"Hello?" A voice on the other end said:
"Hey, is that Brent?"
Jake's eyes nearly bulged out of his head. He leaned into Cris, "Brent Smith, from Shinedown?"
Cris nodded, not as fazed as Jake was. Jake leaned away in awe at Brent's voice. Shinedown was their opening act tonight and another of Jake's favourite bands.
"Yeah, Mike, what's up?"
"I have a favour to ask. Do you mind starting a little later than planned together?"
"Yeah sure, why?"
Mike spun and gave Jake a big grin. "I got a guy here that has to sing a song for a girl."
***
Jessica's mother and Uncle Joe had come down to visit here for the week. She had shown them around Bristol, and a couple of days ago she had taken them to see a musical. They both loved Blood Brothers and wept every time at the devastating end. As they left the theatre, Jessica noticed posters everywhere for Noise's tour. She still had her ticket that Jake had given her.
It was the day of the tour, and Jess had made up her mind that she wasn't going. She knew Jake had given her that ticket when he thought there was a future between them, and it was inconsiderate and cruel of her to go.
She did love him, still. But she still believed that what had happened between them was wrong.
Jess was sitting on the sofa watching Netflix while her mother and uncle made dinner. She could hear them arguing about what ingredients went into making their families' secret recipe curry, which was not so secret with the way they were shouting all the ingredients out.
"Garlic! You put the garlic in first, and then you put the spring onions in." Uncle Joe shouted.
"I'll put you in it now, Joe, if you don't bugger off and leave me to it!" Her mother shouted back, and Jess couldn't help but smile.
Joe grunted and left, coming to sit next to Jess on the couch. "How are you doing, sweetie?" He inquired, plumping a pillow behind his head. Jess moved the puffy closer to him so they could share it as he kicked his feet up.
"I'm okay; I'm trying not to think about it." She told him. Joe and her mother both knew about the concert tonight. They also knew a little about what had happened between her and Jake; she didn't go into detail about all the hot sex, but she thinks it's fair to say they guessed as much.
Joe patted her arm and said, "Why don't you just go? I have a good feeling about tonight."
Jess tried not to roll her eyes.
"You read Adam's letter; he would want you to go."
Jess frowned. "Adam's letter?" She asked.
Joe nodded and said, "Yeah, the one I told you about."
Jess turned to face him. "You never told me about a letter?"
Joe's face dropped. "Are you sure? I thought I mentioned it at his funeral."
"At his funeral?" Jess exclaimed. "That was so long ago. I barely remember anything from that day."
Joe looked sheepish. "Sorry, love, I didn't think. I know you don't like me talking about my ability, so I didn't mention it again."
"What letter?" She asked again, trying not to sound frustrated.
"Not long after Adam passed," Joe said, turning off the TV and sitting up straight. "He came to me and told me he wrote a letter for you. He said it was hidden in his book. That's all he told me. Does that make any sense?"
Jess nodded. His favourite book He didn't read much, but it was his favourite from when he was a child. The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. He had a rare edition of it, which Jess proudly displayed on the book shelf down stairs.
She got up from the sofa and scanned the shelf until she found it. The edition was beautiful; the hardback had beautiful artwork on the lion and the four children on the cover as they travelled through Narnia, ready to fight the witch. She gingerly opened the book, her hands shaking as a folded piece of paper fell out and floated to the floor.
She scooped it up and ran up the stairs to her bed with the note and the book in hand. Once in her room, she shut the door softly and sat on their bed.
Before she opened it, she brought the letter to her face and sniffed it, hoping it would still smell of him. But it didn't.
Her name was written on the folded side in Adams' messy handwriting. Tears blurred her vision as she flipped the paper over.
***
Jessica,
It might seem morbid to write a letter to you from the grave when we are both so young and have only recently gotten married. But, in my line of work, you see many tragedies. Men and women tell me their last words for their loved ones, and I pass on as much of the message as I can, hoping to bring them some form of comfort. But I don't want that for you; I want my final goodbye to be from me.
So, if you've found this accidentally while cleaning, please just put the letter back. At least you know now where it is, if some day you ever need to read it.
But if I am gone, I want you to know how full and happy my life is with you in it. You are my world, and I wouldn't change a thing. I love you so much. And I always will.
I want you to be happy, Jess. I want you to live life to the absolute max. Never be scared. Never be cautious, (unless your life is in danger obviously) just live it. For us both.
The time will come when you meet someone new and find yourself falling again. Please, don't feel bad, don't feel guilty. Just go with it and see what happens. You deserve to be loved and to love someone. Just please wait the appropriate mourning period.
Just kidding. (Kind of)
I'm sorry for all the times we argued and for all the times I annoyed you. I wish I could take them all back and just kiss you instead.
If we have kids, tell them I love them every day.
Look after Jake, I know you will.
I guess I'll annoy Uncle Joe from the other side; this will be a true test to see if his gift is real, huh?
This isn't goodbye; it's a see you later, and I can't wait to see you again.
I will always love you, babe.
Adam
***
Jess dropped the paper on the bed.
After a moment, Uncle Joe and her mother tapped the door and peered inside. "Are you alright, love?"
Jess nodded, surprised that the tears that stung her eyes weren't streaming down her face.
She missed him so much and was certain she would always miss him. But she finally felt a tiny bit of peace.
She felt like it might actually be okay to let him go.
They sat on the edge of the bed, looking at her cautiously. "I'm so sorry, I didn't believe you, Joe." Jess told him, taking his hand in hers.
He chuckled. "No one does love; don't worry."
"Do you still see him?" She asked softly.
He shook his head. "He's moved on love; he's at peace."
Jess nodded, sniffling. She was glad that he was at peace; he deserved it. He didn't deserve to be a shadow wandering aimlessly through life.
She gasped.
Quickly, she stood up from the bed, realisation hitting her hard.
If he could find peace, so could she.
"Do you think I can get ready for the concert in an hour?" She asked, moving to the mirror to examine her make-up supplies.
"With our help, of course." Her mother told her brightly and stood up to find some clothes in her wardrobe.
Joe grinned and made his way to the mirror, where Jessica sat down to start her makeup. He took hold of her hair, running his fingers through as he grabbed her curlers and switched them on. "I'm thinking big, loose curls; what do you think?"
***
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Two more chapters to go 😲
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Shunice x