I had just returned from the Operation Theater. I removed my blood stained blue apron and the cap. Today had been weird. I didn't know how the blood oozed out of the patient's body while operating on her. For the first time I'm doubting myself if I'm capable of doing this or not. Because I don't want to end up like another Kabir Singh. I don't want to turn to alcohol and turn a psycho ultimately. Being a surgeon is stressful but at the same time mental peace is important too.
After washing my hands, I splashed some water on my face, wear my spectacles and enter my cabin to put on my white coat. I subconsciously run my hands over the fabric. Dad would've been so proud if he would have been able to see me like this, just like how he wanted. But time flies too fast.
Just as I took my seat, Abhimanyu, my colleague, burst through the doors almost making me jump. He without waiting for my permission, sat across me. I shook my head at him. He sometimes reminded me of Sid when I was in college. Their behaviors' was just the same. There was this time when I was a newbie in this City Hospital along with Abhi...well, time.
I sighed, looking at the photo frame on my desk. I wished she were here with me. We would've been such a power couple...
"What's up with you, Doctor? Something wrong? You also weren't careful while the operating on the patient... what was her name again?"
Abhi's voice brought me back to reality. He was like my friend since we are working together. I realized he was talking of the patient.
"Esha Arora." I said playing with the paper weight on my table. I didn't make eye-contact with him. I missed her. Not Esha, just her...
"I'm just not feeling like it today...I don't know why," I said as I leaned back on my chair.
I felt a little down today. Maybe I knew why so.
I felt Abhi's eyes on me. Well, he has the right to question me though. He's just worried about me because he knows that I'm a single father. My princess must be back by now, I think as I look at my wrist watch. Even though she's not my own but I still love her a lot. She's my angel and so was another girl, but now, we're not together. She did wish me on my birthday on 24th December. We haven't talked since then.
This doesn't change anything neither does it sound like a problem. Then why am I feeling uneasy today of all days? Is something going to happen? Something...not very good?
Abhi straightened in his seat and had his brows pinched in concern.
"I see... you're missing her again, aren't you?" he asked the obvious. Of course I was missing her so damned much. And the worse point is, he knew about her. She's famous here in the city. Don't ask why. She's a Doctor too. Period.
I nodded, smiling to myself. He probably noticed it. That girl had the ability to make me smile.
"Hmm...and what's with that smile of yours?" he teased me. That bastard!
"It's nothing...I just remembered something, something good," I said exhaling from my mouth.
"So, Dr. Khanna is sighing because he's missing his lady. Can you please narrate what you were just reminded of?" he gave a sly smile.
"Do I have to?"
"Yes, please." He gestured for me to go on.
~
I thought she had bunked classes that day, but no.
I also called her home and asked my gang where she was.
Well, where would she go and that too in GMC? This girl was just...
I saw Noor coming out of the cultural room and asked her if my girl was there inside. She nodded and went away. I sprang faster towards the room and music was blazing from the inside. Was she dancing?
The door was ajar. No one was in, so first I peeked in to catch a glimpse of her dancing figure: there she was.
Modest yet passionate, short yet gorgeous, ordinary yet my special one. I could look at her like this forever. I wish I could.
I pushed the double doors open and stood there leaning against the door frame. I smiled at her obliviousness. She was so engaged that she didn't notice me there. I wonder how's that even possible. Why is there a need to become a doctor when you're so talented? And the first thought that came to me was just the same every time I saw her.
I love her.
The music stopped and she did too. She opened her closed eyes and suddenly turned around to look at me.
Her hair all messed up, the nervous face, her small trembling body and those mahogany brown eyes which I always like to look into were staring at me with wide eyes resembling a saucer. She turned back and caught her breathe. I could see in the mirror that she slapped her forehead as if I wasn't supposed to see her like this. I think I wasn't, keeping in mind her reaction.
'I'm so sorry you had to see that Rahul...' she said, her chest heaving up and down. She ran a hand through her long, wavy waist-length hair. I wanted to hug her. It was the first time I saw her dancing after our junior college was over. First year of medical college was amazing, and now this. I can't leave this chance.
'What are you saying J! Come on now, play the music...' I said settling my bag down.
'I must be looking like a mad school girl while dancing!' she nervously laughed, taking her phone.
'But I wanna dance with that mad girl...' I purposefully added, in a low voice . I know she likes my voice. I remember her telling me once. But right now I just knew that she is scared of intimacy. She played the music and set her mobile aside. I closed the doors shut so that nobody could see us. As the tune grew louder and more rhythmic I could see her preparing herself for dancing with me. She was resolute that I was harmless so she shook her head at me.
I never knew what she saw in my eyes that time. Maybe she thought I was being playful, or even lustful that I didn't know. She almost laughed at me when saw me walking dramatically like Tom Cruise.
She closed her eyes and started to groove her hips and raise her hands up in the air as I looked at her in amazement. She was never shy when it came to dancing or me. I wished that she was my girlfriend. She would be so bold. Just dancers' stuff.
When I was near her she gasped as I suddenly pulled her closer. Her breathe heavy as she peered up at me. I was taller than her. I could see her eyes landing onto my lips for a few seconds. I wanted her to kiss me again, just like we did a couple of years ago.
I intertwined my hand with hers while the other one snaked her waist. I was sort of used to it. We started to sway to the music. I looked at our intertwined hands which sent a heartwarming chill in my body. Her touched eased me. She smiled my favorite smile. I have been crazy about the way she smiles at me. I guess that genuine smile was reserved for me only. I spun her around and round pulling her close to dip her down and give a swing. She straightened to put her leg in my hand while I dipped her down again, improvising her against me and perform our favorite salsa chunk. I knew that she liked to dance with me since the annual day at school. Even I did. But I had a different reason to do so. Even though in the future we aren't together, we didn't have anyone we were close to; unlike each other.
At last I pulled her closer and pressed her back against my chest holding her shoulders. She shuddered. My fingers rolled on her cape as I brushed her longhair to the side only to press a gentle kiss on her shoulder. I admired her. For me, she was perfect.
No doubt I can't argue with that.
She glanced at me once when her gaze slowly followed my hands that glided down her arms making hair of her neck stand. I wrapped my arms around her waist leaving no gap between our bodies. I knew we had promised to be best friends, but it would be a lie if I say there was no chemistry between us. It has existed since I met her. I wanted to do so many things to her. I can't help but only blame my stupid hormones.
Turning eighteen really sucked.
She leaned her fore head against my temple as her light breathe fanned my cheek, closing her eyes.
That was the moment when I forgot everything around me.
Chaaya burst through the doors when I was about to speak further.
"Dr. Khanna! It's an emergency! Hurry!" she said, exhausted.
"The story was nice." Abhi appreciated hurriedly.
Abhi and I got up immediately from our seats and followed Chaaya, our nurse to the OT.
"What's the status?" I asked.
"The patient is really shocked and has been given sedatives before getting injured with a butcher's knife. There is a lot of blood loss and it's been like twenty minutes since she had been unconscious. Blood group, A+ve. The injury has just missed her heart by mere three inches." Chaaya recited in her robotic tone.
The other male nurses were hurrying and I could hear a familiar voice, a man's. I turned around to see him.
Félix.
My eyes widened.
What is he doing here in India? He was supposed to be in London right?
I took a look at the patient who was lying unconscious. I couldn't recognize her first. A few blood drops covered her face. I made eye contact with Félix for the first time in six years. He was shocked as well.
But that doesn't matter.
Who was this lady being injured?
I neared the OT and I glanced at the patient once more.
My pulse quickened. My eyes grew wide and mouth felt dry. I could hear my heartbeats getting louder than the chaos around.
I entered the OT along with my assistant.
Was it really her?
That day I knew that for the first time ever, my hands are going to tremble while operating on a patient.
A tear escaped my eyes when I saw her injured body lying lifeless in front of me with a pale face as her own blood surrounded her.
🌹
Kehte hai ki har cheez ka apna waqt hota hai
Lekin hamara waqt shayad kabhi aaya hi nahi
Ek tarfa hi sahi,
Tune mujhse kabhi apne hisse ki mohabbat mangi hi kahan?
Meri kismet mein tere ishq ka aashna kahaan
Meri dhadkan hai jahan
Sirf tu hai wahan
🌹
~ Penned by Jiya