*Lou and Debbie playing Uno*
Lou: Uno!
Debbie: *smirking* Draw 4 change colour to red, draw 4 change colour to blue, draw 2, draw 2, reverse back to me, Uno, Uno, I win
Lou:
Lou: I hate you!
***
*Early on in their friendship*
Debbie: *runs towards Lou with open arms*
Lou: *Moves out of the way*
Debbie: Why did you move?
Lou: I thought you were going to attack me
Debbie: I was going to hug you
Lou: Why would you hug me?
Debbie: WHY WOULD I ATTACK YOU?
***
Lou: A study says that having something or someone to take care of helps with mental health
Debbie: Someone or something? Like kids?
Lou: Well yeah but I was thinking of getting few plants or-
Debbie: We already have Constance who acts like a 5-year-old prankster kid and it's stressful, so no thanks
***
*Tammy's wedding preparations*
Debbie: I'll check on cake and food
Lou: Okay. In the meantime I will check on ring bear
Debbie: You mean Ring bearer, right?
Lou:
Debbie:
Lou:
Debbie: Look me in the eyes and tell me you are not going to bring a dangerous wild animal to Tammy's Wedding
***
Rose: I need something to read
Constance: You open to reading fanfictions?
Rose: What's that?
Constance: Fictional imagination about favourite celebrities or known people or characters played by favourite celebrities, written by fans
Rose: Oh... Interesting. Do you have any suggestions?
Constance: Yup. This one is written by someone who apparently is fan of Daphne
Rose: Okay *begins reading*
Rose: I'm confused, what does y forward slash n (y/n) mean?
Constance: it's a placeholder for your name. Instead of reading is as Y N, you have to replace it with your name.
Rose: Oh, got it
Rose: *going back to reading mindlessly* "Rose closed her eyes in great ecstasy as Daphne kissed her neck, feeling how she got we-"
Amita: *horrified* Please stop
Daphne: *pink* Yeah, please stop
***
*Team having adventure in Australian outbacks*
Constance: Is this going to be traumatic?
Lou: No... unless you have arachnophobia-
Constance: Oh no, I don't have any problem with spiders getting married
***
*Debbie and Lou fighting*
Debbie: I mean, is there anything you are actually capable of doing?
Lou: Besides putting up with you?
***
Constance: I finally got over my fear of ghosts
Lou: That's the spirit
Constance: *startled* WHERE?
***
Constance: What's the difference between poisonous and venomous?
Lou: If you bite it and you die, that's poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it is venomous
Constance: What if it bites me and it dies?
Daphne: Then you are poisonous. Jesus Christ! Learn to listen
Lou: That's-
Constance: What if it bites itself and I die?
Rose: That's voodoo
Constance: What if it bites me and someone else die?
Lou: *sighing* That's correlation. Not causation
Constance: What if we both bite each other and none of us die?
Debbie: That's kinky
***
Lou: I am the wisest and the most responsible person amongst us
Debbie: your hand is stuck in a vending machine
Lou: I paid for my Mars bar. I am getting my Mars bar
***
*Tammy asks Lou to train her kids in martial arts early morning*
Derek: Aunt Lou, we are training?
Lou: *yawns* Yes, today we will *yawns* learn *yawns*
Derek:
Lou:
Lou: You know what, screw it. Go play with your Xbox. Or finger paint. I don't care. I am going back to bed
***
*Team just before Amita's wedding*
Tammy: I gotta go. Have a wedding to attend
Rose: Oh... Coincidence. I have a wedding to attend too
Nine: Same here. I gotta attend a wedding
Lou: I think Debbie and I are supposed to attend a wedding too
Debbie: I think we all have the same wedding to attend to
Constance: *panicked* I THINK I HAVE A WEDDING TO OFFICIATE!
***
Lou: Looking good, Ocean
Debbie: Twenty five fucking years! You can address me by my first name you know
Lou: Uh? No, I was talking about myself
Debbie: Oh, okay. I thought you were... Wait, what?
***
Debbie: *from kitchen* Honey, I prepared breakfast. You will love it
Lou: *jumps out of the window and runs away*
***
Debbie: I like rain. It is peaceful
Lou: Rain helps clean up a murder
Debbie: You wouldn't need rain to clean up the murder if you use icicle as the weapon
Tammy: YOU TWO NEED THERAPY NOW!
***
Tammy: You are dating Debbie to annoy me
Lou: No. I am dating Debbie because I love her. Annoying you is just an added bonus
***
Daphne : Are you seeing anyone?
Rose : You see them too?
Daphne : What? What do you mean?
Rose : How did you figure out I see ghosts
Daphne : That’s not what I- YOU WHAT?!
***
*At the zoo*
Constance: What are they in for?
Tammy: This isn't a prison-
Constance: So, they can leave anytime?
Tammy: No but-
Constance: *pointing at a meerkat* I bet that one is in for a murder
***
*Debbie and Lou hiking, takes break for lunch*
Lou: I think Tammy mixed up our lunches. Look. *Holds a post-it note that read 'I love you so much even if you don't'*
Debbie: That explains this. *Holds a post-it that said 'Be good, Lou. For the love of God, be good'*
***
*Constance looking at the gun she took from Daphne's security personnel*
Tammy: You might shoot someone. Give it back to him
Constance: No, I am careful. See
Constance: *tries twirling the gun and accidentally shoots Lou in her foot*
Tammy: OMG! YOU SHOT LOU *rushes to hold Lou*
Constance: I didn't mean to-
Lou: Real mature. You aim for foot? What are you? 4? Next time, aim for head
***
Lou: I don't know how to tell you... But I am in love with you
Debbie: That's great Lou. Especially considering the fact we have been married for 4 fucking years
***
Daphne: I have decided to plan a wedding
Amita: Wow! Can I join?
Daphne: Sure
Rose: Whose wedding?
Daphne: Debbie and Lou's wedding
Amita & Rose: THEY ARE ENGAGED????
Daphne: Not yet. But they will be, one day
***
*Young Loubbie*
Debbie: Hypothetically speaking, what would you do if you were to share my bed?
Lou: Depends. Is your bed strong enough to hold the two of us?
Debbie: Yes
Lou: And is it soft and comfortable?
Debbie: Yes
Lou: Then I'll sleep like a baby
***
Debbie: *frustrated at her team* Okay, listen up fuckers-
Debbie: Not you, Rose. You are an angel and we are glad you are with us
***
Lou: I am the bravest. I have no fear.
Tammy: It's Debbie's turn to cook
Lou: I have one fear
***
Lou: I'm going to bed
Debbie: It's 11 in the morning
Lou: And your point being?
***
Debbie: Accept your flaws and you'll feel much better. It worked for me
Lou: You accepted your flaw? Seriously?
Debbie: No. I accepted yours
***
Debbie: *licking multiple lollipops at a time*
Lou: Can I have one?
Debbie: Nope
Lou: Please?
Debbie: Nope
Lou: Fine. I don't need that disgusting shit. You know, lollipop is just you swallowing your own spit in different flavour
Debbie: WHAT THE HELL! WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT!
Tammy: Shit Lou! You are right!
***
Debbie: That's the plan. If anyone thinks they have better idea than mine, speak
Lou:
Rose:
Daphne:
Tammy:
Nine:
Amita:
Constance: How about we-
Debbie: No
***
Lou: Where is the fucking key?
Tammy: Lou, language. Can't you be little nicer?
Lou: May I cognise the whereabouts of my FUCKING KEY?
***
Man: Can I have your number?
Debbie: I don't have a phone
Man: *pointing at Debbie's phone* what's that?
Debbie: Calculator. Made in Japan
***
Constance: Lou, can you tell me the difference between farther, further and father?
Lou: Well, 'farther' is for physical distance, 'further' is for metaphorical distance, and 'father' is yo-
Debbie: Is for emotional distance
***
Debbie: When you see her please don't freak out
Tammy: I'm not going to freak out. Whoever you're dating I'll always be accepting of her. I have moved on. I have a family of my own
Debbie: Alright, you can come in!
Lou: *walks in*
Tammy: Get out the way, Lou. I'm trying to see who Debbie is dating!
***
Nine: *showing menu* Lou, how do you pronounce this?
Lou: Hors d'oeuvres
Nine: *to Constance* what did you call it?
Constance: Horse divorce
***
*Lou is drunk instead of helping Tammy arrange a party*
Tammy: I told you not to drink!
Lou: I am not drunk, Tams. I am as sober as the day I was born
Tammy: *sarcastic* Then what are you drinking?
Lou: Uh... Sheep's milk?
Tammy: Why is it amber coloured?
Lou: It was an ugly sheep
***
Lou: You know, God won't be happy with you if you continue with this stupid plan
Debbie: I don't see your so-called God appearing out of the sky to stop me. So, clearly he doesn't think my plans are stupid
***
Debbie: *Walks past Lou*
Lou: *mutters* nice ass
Debbie: What did you say?
Lou: I... I said nice eyes. You... You have nice eyes
Debbie: Thanks. But I liked the first one better
***
Debbie: If you wanted your shirt back, all you had to do was ask
Lou: Okay, can I have my shirt back?
Debbie: No
***
Tammy: *ready and about to go somewhere* how do I look?
Daphne: Well, I don't like it
Tammy: Really?
Daphne: it is kinda slutty
Tammy: It's yours
***
Lou: Pros and cons of dating you?
Debbie: Pro. You will be dating me
Lou: *rolling her eyes* And cons?
Debbie: Where do I begin? This is gonna take long time
***
Debbie: Wanna make out?
Lou: You said we will be taking things slow though
Debbie: Yeah. I did
Lou:
Debbie: Wanna make out slowly?
***
Lou: I fucking hate Frozen
Tammy: Lou! Watch your words. There are kids here
Lou: Sorry. I fucking hate *covers Keri's ears* Frozen
***
Tammy: Who taped a napkin on the glass door?
Debbie: Lou kept walking into it, so i put a napkin there to help her
*A minute later*
Lou: Oh cool! A floating napkin!
Lou: *crashes into glass door*
***