Fade into Tucker and Arroyo on top of Blue Base.
Tucker: Let me get this straight... You're telling me that the guy that showed up here, scared the living shit out of us, shot at Caboose, and beat the hell out of the Reds wasn't a guy at all? That he was a chick? And, on top of that, she was your ex-girlfriend?
Church: In a nutshell, yes. That's an excellent summary.
Arroyo: Why does that make so much sense to me?
Caboose: I should have known... She didn't like me... Girls never like me.
Tucker: Caboose, I don't think anybody likes you.
Caboose: I like me...
Arroyo: It's ok Caboose, I like you ... somewhat.
Caboose: That makes me Happy!
Tucker: I don't think I've seen a girl that mean before. Are you sure she's a chick? And not a guy? Or like, part guy part shark?
Church: I'm pretty sure I'd know if Tex was a guy. And I'm definitely sure I would know if she was part shark.
Caboose: Wait, oh wait, oh wait. If she's a girl, then why is she named Tex?
Church: Uh... because she's from Texas.
Caboose: ...
Arroyo: ...
Church: Trust me, it makes sense. And you can't blame her for being so aggressive. It's not entirely her fault to begin with.
Tucker: Right. You should blame God. First, he makes hangovers, and now, half women, half sharks that won't even sleep with me. Thanks for nothing, God!
Church: Will you shut up with that? She got recruited into some kind of weird experimental program back during basic where they infused her armor with this really aggressive A.I. I'm not really sure how it all works, but all I know is it made her meaner and tougher than hell.
Arroyo had another flashback, A small woman that was purple, glitching in and out. A Soldier with White armor and brown trim. They were in a snowy environment, Arroyo was on his stomach, and his helmet was cracked. There was blood on the snow and on his head.
Arroyo: (Thoughts) What was that? Why am I so angry? And sad?
Caboose: A.I... What's the A stand for?
Church: Artificial.
Caboose: ...What's the I-
Church: (Interrupts) Intelligence.
Caboose: Ooohhhhhhhhh what was the A again?
Church: Let's move on.
Tucker: So, the military put this program in her head, and that program made her a killer, but underneath it all, she's really just a sweet, down-home girl?
Church: Oh hell no. She's always been a rotten bitch. It's just now she's a rotten bitch with cybernetic enhancements.
Tucker: Wow. Sounds like you really won the lottery with that one. Good catch there, buddy. She's a keeper.
Arroyo: And you're dating her because...?
Church: Look love is complicated alright.
Tucker: You're telling me, You know how many times I gotta say "I love you" to a chick before she sleeps with me!
Church: So how're you doing, Caboose? Are you following any of this whatsoever?
Caboose: I think so... That guy Tex is really a robot, and you're his boyfriend. So that makes you... a gay robot!
Church: Yeah... that's right... I'm a gay robot.
Arroyo: (laughing) Somehow I always knew Church.
Church: Oh shut up.
Cut to Grif and Simmons holding Tex at gunpoint.
Grif: So, you're a girl, huh?
Tex: ...
Simmons: Just ignore him, that's what I do.
Grif: Not so tough now that we unloaded your weapon, are ya?
Tex: Hey, punk, I don't need a weapon to kill you.
Grif: Yeah, right. What're you gonna do? Punch me?
Tex leans in at Grif quickly. Grif flinches and steps back.
Grif: Ahh! Not in the face!
Cut to Church on Blue Base.
Church: Well don't worry because I have a great plan for how we're gonna rescue Tex.
Tucker: A plan? Oh, man, I hate plans. That means we're gonna have to do stuff. Can't we just have a strategy or a ..mission statement?
Church: I just need you guys to run a distraction, while I spring Tex.
Caboose: (Nervous) Distraction? Heh. That sounds a lot like "decoy."
Arroyo: Yeah, I'm with Caboose on this one. I don't like the idea of us being used as bait.
Church: Look the way I see it, the Reds have absolutely no idea how many Freelancers we have out here. So all I need from the three of you is to run around in the middle of the canyon, wearing black armor, while I sneak in the back of the base.
Tucker: Sounds good. But Church, where the hell are we gonna get three suits of black armor?
Church looks at the teleporter, then Tucker and Arroyo look at it too.
Tucker: (Looks back at Church) ...Oh fuckberries...
Arroyo:(Turns to Church) Hey Church.
Church: Yeah?
Arroyo: I fucking hate you.