Niall woke up due to a very cool draft being blown onto his uncovered face. Groaning, he sat up as his back twitched in pain. Of course, he thought, I would wake up with a damn back ache. But once he rubbed the sleep from his eyes, he looked up, and noticed that his ceiling fan on. “Dammit, Liam always does that.” He grumbled, knowing very well how his short-haired band mate would always sneak around to each of the boys’ rooms and turn their fans on so they wouldn’t get hot (not like they would anyways- they lived in England. You were lucky to get one nice day in the summer).
He left his room; retreating from the comfort of it to the even colder kitchen to get some medicine for his back pain (the boys had taken all the medicines out of his bathroom for safety precautions). He reached into the cabinet and dug himself out two little white pills right before pouring himself a glass of cold water and wallowing them.
“Niall, you’re awake.” Niall nearly choked on his water as the voice startled him. Sputtering, he turned around in the dim kitchen to see a cheeky Louis drinking some tea. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.”
The Irish man shook his head, “No, I just um…wasn’t paying attention. You the only one up?”
Louis nodded in response, and patted the wooden kitchen chair next to him. Niall obliged, but not before pouring himself a cup of tea using the hot water that Louis’ had left in the kettle. He sat down, sipping his unsweetened tea; though really the tea leaves hadn’t brewed in the water yet- but Niall didn’t care (at least he was warming his bones in some way).
“Niall…” Louis trailed off, trying to find the right words as if he were trying to pick the perfect apple off of a dead tree. “I just…I won’t be angry if you hurt yourself; I just want to help you.” He whispered, hoping he hadn’t offended his younger band mate.
Niall groaned, “We went through this, Lou. I. Didn’t. Hurt. Myself. Last. Night.” He gritted his teeth and clenched his fists in vain attempt to keep his anger under control.
The Doncaster lad sighed, “Don’t get hostile, Ni. It won’t help any if you push us away.” He reached over, rubbing his band mate’s cream-colored hand with his own thumb.
Niall gently pulled his hand away, swallowing the lump forming in his throat. “I’m not trying to, Lou. I just…” He trailed off.
After a few minutes of silence, Louis realized that Niall wasn’t going to continue his sentence. “You just, what, Niall?” He pressed.
With a shake of his blonde hair, Niall said, “Nothing.” His voice cracked and Louis could tell that it raised at least two octaves- a sure fire sign of Niall trying not to cry. “I’m going back up to bed.”
Niall got up, leaving his hot tea on the kitchen table while Louis called after him, “It’s already 9:30 in the morning, though!” The Irish lad simply ignored his friend, knowing very well that if he stayed downstairs then he’d spill to Louis about how he stole razor blades and cut when he wasn’t supposed to. Then he’d feel bad and probably end up getting a spanking, though he didn’t know if he truly deserved one.
So Niall simply lied down on his bed with his guitar, strumming the memorized chords from the song he’d written the night before. He knew, that if he wanted the song to be on the album, then he’d have to play it for the boys. But Niall wasn’t sure, because the song was undoubtedly religious, and none of the boys were devout in their religions, except maybe Zayn (though even he ignored some of his Muslim laws, holidays, and religious practices).
And, speaking of Zayn, he probably wouldn’t want to have a Christian sort of song on the album, because it really wouldn’t be fair. Niall didn’t want to press his beliefs on his friend, but he knew, when writing the song, that it’d be one of those amazing ones that the fans (even the nonreligious ones) would appreciate. And, anyways, all his fans knew that he was Catholic, so one out of say, eighteen songs, could be written and expressed by him and his beliefs, right?
After thinking so hard for a while, Niall ended up falling asleep, but he was woken up two hours later by all four of the remaining members in One Direction. They were all sitting around his bed, with Harry at his feet, Louis to his right, Liam and Zayn on his left, and Niall lying in the middle. “Niall, do you want any lunch?” Harry asked as soon as a pair of blue eyes looked up at him.
Niall shrugged, “Maybe later, I’m not that hungry at the moment.” Harry nodded, and Liam placed his hand on Niall’s knee.
“Ni, we need you to be honest with us and show us where you cut.” Liam bit his lip.
Niall groaned, rolling his eyes. “How many times do I have to tell you that I haven’t hurt myself?” He lied aggressively.
Zayn sighed, and pulled Niall’s pack of blades from behind his back. “Niall, clearly you’re lying, because this pack is missing one.”
The blonde haired boy mentally cursed himself for not hiding the pack of blades he’d stolen any better, and for sleeping so soundly when apparently the boys had checked his room. “You know,” Louis coughed awkwardly, “If you don’t show us, then we’ll be forced to strip you ourselves.”
Niall began to internally panic, but he managed to remain calm on the outside. “I-I…” He put on his best acting face, “I began to…but I threw the blade out because I knew I’d regret it.” This time, it was Louis’ turn to roll his eyes. “Stop fucking lying, Niall. We found the band aids in your jeans pocket too, and we all know you don’t carry around random band aids."
Defeated, Niall sunk back into his bed. He really wished he’d been more careful, after all, if he really didn’t want the boys to find out, then why hadn’t he taken better precautions? “I didn’t do it.” Niall whispered unconvincingly, as Louis nodded at the other three, who all began to hold Niall down whilst Louis ripped back his friend’s comforter. He began with taking Niall’s shirt off, smiling at the sight of a completely scott-free torso. He checked Niall's creamy wrists as well, which were only adorned with the two old scars from a week ago.
Then, Louis began pulling down a struggling Niall’s pajama pants. He lifted the bottom of his boxers up to check his upper thighs, and this time, all four pairs of eyes looked over Niall’s legs. Just whenever they thought they had found a new cut, they looked even closer and realized that it was simply an old scar or it had stiches in it.
Harry began to check Niall’s clean ankles, and once he realized they were clean, all four boys sat back in bewilderment. They were so sure that Niall had cut- and they’d practically inspected his whole body! Niall, who was victoriously rejoicing in his mind, remained hostile and threatened on the exterior. “Maybe you should’ve believed me.” He spat, writhing out from under their cold grips.
Zayn, defeated, sighed. “Sorry, Niall. We just…we really thought you had actually-”
Liam, who interrupted Zayn, pointed at the area covered by Niall’s boxers- the only place they hadn’t checked. “Don’t speak too soon, Zayn, maybe we should check there.”
Frightened, Niall searched his brain for some sort of statement that would stop them. “Do you really want to check there?” He chuckled sarcastically. “That’s like gang rape, I could have you all sued.”
Louis rolled his eyes, “We’re only helping you, Niall. Now, Harry, hold his ankles so he doesn’t kick. Let me just…” He trailed off, preoccupying himself with reaching towards the elastic of Niall’s boxers, and pulling the top of them down far enough to uncover the cuts yet still allow him to keep his dignity.
“Shit, Niall, you did do it!” Zayn gasped, his eyes growing wide at the blood stained bandage that covered a patch of tainted skin.
Grumbling, Niall tried his best to fight back the oncoming tears. He tried so, so fucking hard, to keep them from seeing the new cuts. But, as soon as Liam began pulling back the soiled band aid; Niall couldn’t bite his lip to hold back the tears any longer. He busted into tears, losing even more of the pride that he somehow managed to obtain. Louis reached over and rubbed Niall’s shoulder in attempt to calm him down, but the Irish lad refused this and pushed his hand away.
“Niall, calm down.” Zayn whispered as Liam left to get the first aid kit.
Niall shook his head, “I-I c-can’t…” He hiccupped, sobbing even harder. Louis sighed and rubbed Niall’s back, despite his refusal. “Love, you really need to though.”
“P-Please…” Niall choked, “Don’t make this any harder f-for me…”
“How would we make this harder?” Harry asked as Liam came back into the room and started disinfecting Niall’s cuts and re-bandaging them.
Niall shrugged, “I dunno…you shouldn’t be wasting your time on me, though.” He whispered. “You can just…kick me out of the band. I don’t deserve it anyways.”
Louis, inappropriately, began to cackle, “Don’t be melodramatic, Ni. You bring so much to this band.” Niall’s eyebrows knitted together as he said, “Like what?”
“You’re probably the only one who manages to bring a sufficient smile to everyone’s face, no matter where we are or what we are doing.” Zayn said right off the bat.
Liam smiled, rubbed and alcohol swab over the last of Niall’s cuts. “Yeah, and your laugh is really cute.” He blushed, but none of the boys minded since they all clearly didn’t have more-than-friendship feelings about each other.
“And, I wish I could eat like you.” Harry pointed out, flashing his dimples to his crying band mate.
Louis grumbled as he rubbed Niall’s shoulder. “Or sing like you.”
Sniffling, Niall looked up at all of his friends as Liam plastered a fresh band aid over his cuts. “Really? Is that…true?” He asked, uncertain on whether they were telling the truth or not.
Four heads bobbed, nodding, in perfect synchronization. “Of course, when would we lie?” Louis chuckled, fixing Niall’s boxers and giving him his clothes back. Niall just shrugged, not answering.
“Oh yeah, you also wrote a song.” Harry blurted, biting his lip.
Liam, Zayn, and Louis all shot questioning looks at both Harry and Niall, when Zayn finally settled on Niall. “Really? You wrote a song?”
The blonde boy nodded, picking up his guitar as a rosy blush spread over his pale face. “Yeah…and I…I uh think you all might like it.” He nearly whispered from being so nervous. The five boys all rearranged themselves so that Niall could sit cross-legged with his guitar, and with his notebook in front of him (though he really didn’t need it- he had memorized the song already).
Niall began strumming and picking the intro as he started singing. “I’m tired, I’m worn. My heart is heavy from the work it takes to keep on breathing. I’ve made mistakes; I’ve let my hope fail. My soul feels crushed by the weight of this world. And I know that You can give me rest, so I cry out with all that I have left,” He took a deep breath before going into the chorus.
“Let me see redemption win, let me know the struggle ends; that you can mend a heart that’s frail and torn. I wanna know a song can rise from the ashes of a broken life and all that’s dead inside can be reborn. ‘Cause I’m worn.” He sang melodiously, causing all the boys to drop their jaws at the poetic combination with his angelic voice.
Niall went through the whole song, shocking the boys even more every time he added a riff on his guitar or a run in the words he sang. Once he got to the bridge, Niall closed his eyes and let the words sink into his already watering eyes. “My prayers are wearing thin. Yeah I’m worn; even before the day begins. Yeah, I’m worn; I’ve lost my will to fight. I’m worn. So Heaven, come and fill my eyes…” He reached up to the powerful notes in order to put all of his emotion into the song. The tears were already streaming down his face, and Niall finished the last of the song with a cracking voice that was pitchy and made him out of breath.
The second after he finished the song, Niall set the guitar down beside him, “I’m not so sure I like the guitar, maybe Lou could figure out a piano part to go with it?” He asked, but nobody answered him as all four boys were practically on top of him, smothering him with love and affection.
“Oh my god…” Liam mumbled, “If you were gonna write a song like that; I never would’ve said what I did yesterday at the restaurant!” He sobbed into Niall’s neck.
All the boys were crying, making Niall smile. It was clear that they loved him (it really wasn’t before) and Niall knew he was just so lucky to have those four amazing lads in his life.
But, of course, all good things must come to an end as Louis pulled away from the emotional hug first. “How’d you get the blades, Niall?”
Shocked, Niall coughed into the crook of his elbow. “I…I uh…bought them…”
Louis rolled his eyes and pulled out a receipt, “Clearly you didn’t, because this receipt says you bought the band aids and the gum, but not the blades.” He pointed out, ruining the sentiment of the afternoon.
Zayn awkwardly stood up. “Okay…Lou…you can…uh…deal with this…” He mumbled before rushing out of the room, as Liam and Harry followed suit. Louis turned back to Niall with a raised eyebrow, and the blonde boy shrunk under the harsh gaze.
“Fine…I took them…” Niall sniffled. “But I gave the cashier extra money, so technically I paid for them…” He trailed off, hoping he wouldn’t be in too much trouble.
Louis sighed, “Ni…” The sight of his crying band mate definitely softened him up a bit. “That was wrong, and you know it. I mean, you were out yesterday an hour and a half longer than you said you would be, you lied, you cut, and you stole blades. I hate to hurt you…but…well…I guess we both know what has to happen.” He said, the latter coming out in a near whisper.
Niall nodded, “You…uh…you aren’t going to spank me every time I cut, right?”
Louis sighed again, “Zayn and Liam talked about it, and decided that it’d depend on how much you cut and why…but we pretty much agreed that, yeah…you would get spanked. We just; we really need you to stop before you go to far.” He justified, and Niall nodded. “Oh, and one of us are going to be doing nightly checks on your body until we believe that you’ve fully recovered.”
“Of course.” Niall’s voice cracked as he looked down. Wanting to get the whole ordeal over with, Louis gently took Niall’s arm and guided his small frame over his lap. He pulled down his pajama pants, again, and began laying spanks all over his boxer-clad bum. “Ouch!” Niall grunted as soon as the fifth smack came down. He was already crying from the confrontation and singing, so the spanking only made the tears come down even quicker.
Like bullets piercing skin, Niall gritted his teeth at the shard smacks coming from Louis’ hand. It was probably already 30 spanks- but Niall wasn’t sure because Louis was going so quickly.
Louis, who counted each smack regretfully, reached 40 and started pulling down Niall’s boxers. He tried as best as he could to tune out the whimpers and pleads coming from his friend’s mouth, because he knew what he was about to do had to be done.
He rained the last 10 spanks down as quickly and forcefully as his strong bicep would allow, making Niall scream out with every time Louis’ hand came into contact with his poor, red bum. But as soon as the punishment was over and Niall had reached a total of 50 smack- Louis pulled his boxers and pajama pants up. He lifted Niall up and cradled him for a few minutes, allowing Niall’s loud sobs to reduce to quiet sniffles. He noticed how Niall’s face was puffy from all the crying, and he was probably exhausted, so Louis lied Niall down in the bed to go to sleep.
As he was leaving Niall’s room, though, Niall said, “Thanks, Lou. I love you.” His voice was soft and low, nearly a whisper, but Louis smiled and ignored the stinging in his hand from the spanking he’d given.
“No problem, Niall. I love you too, man.” He smiled, and shut his band mate’s door, retreating to living room to sit with his other three friends.
As soon as he sat on the couch, he covered his face in his hands to try and calm himself down. “I hate doing that.” He whimpered, and Harry rubbed his back understandingly.
“I know, Lou. But if it helps…” Harry trailed off.
Liam smiled, interrupting, “Then it’s worth it.”
“Yeah, Lou,” Zayn reached over Harry to rub Louis’ back. “He still loves us, he just needs to understand that cutting isn’t worth it.”
Louis sighed and wiped the water off of his cheeks. “I hope he finds out soon, I’d hate to lose him.” He whispered, and the other three mumbled their agreements.
A/N Hey there(: So…I’m going to have Zayn spanked probably in the next chapter, but I already had this written and decided to keep going with it. But someone requested a wonderful idea, so I had to do it! And, yes, the song is titles ‘Worn’ by Tenth Avenue North, and I put it over there >>>> Yay! (you know you love me)(because I really love you) xoxo