Bennett's Pov
Horton and I didn't always see eye to eye on a lot of things, and I wasn't sure why. We weren't any different in who we were as people, so why couldn't I cross the line he could?
The world's cruelty had no limits, and asserting your dominance beforehand was the only way I knew to get by without sustaining too much damage. Perhaps Horton and I differed in its implementation. While he opted to exert it physically, I knew it was better for it to be psychological. You see, it's why mum stayed with dad for as long as she did. It was why dad couldn't hit me now. Insecurity and blackmail.
You break them down before they can even think of hitting you.
"BENNETT!" shrieked Coach Moore. "You need to pass the ball!"
Why should I when I knew I could win us the game easily? It wasn't like anyone would guarantee us a score like I did. It was safe to say that the only person I trusted was myself.
I circled an opponent and sent the balling
rolling in between the feet of another, catching up with it and kicking it towards the goal.
The goalie missed the ball by an inch, and I had a score.
Coach Moore blew his whistle and asked the boys to fall in. He didn't seem pleased.
"Mr Harris," he almost growled, "you can't keep hogging the ball. You're not the only one I'm training here."
"Seems like everyone else should up their game if they're to catch up, Coach Moore."
The boys erupted in protests as I looked at them all in contempt. I hadn't said anything wrong, had I?
A crackly voice blared at them from afar. "YOU'RE NOT THE BEST JUST BECAUSE EVERYONE ELSE IS SHITE!"
I scoffed in embarrassment and looked towards the bleachers. Lo and behold, Maude was there with a megaphone in one hand while she pushed at a struggling Elliot's head. It was pathetic how he couldn't even square up to someone as frail as Maude.
"COME ONTO THE FIELD AND SEE HOW YOU FARE!" I yelled back.
"OI!" Coach Moore barked. "PUT THAT DOWN AND HEAD GO BACK INSIDE THE BUILDING!"
"Solid logic."
"Wait, did she just insult all of us?"
"She does have a point there, Bennett..."
I shoved Horton's shoulder who only cackled at me, and he snatched the ball from the goalie to shove into my gut. I wouldn't really call anyone a friend, but I respected Horton for saying things out loud instead of whispering behind my back. He didn't fear consequences, and I wouldn't punish him for it.
"All right, back to the game," Coach sighed and waved us off. "Bennett, please, make things easier for me here."
I rolled my eyes and jogged off, looking back at the bleachers to see if Elliot was still there. Maude cheered for someone called Juan, who I guessed was her cousin or something. I almost missed Elliot hiding behind his ridiculously large book. He was skinny enough to do so, although not entirely frail. It was a little jarring to see him out in the sun, considering how pale he was. I caught him peeking over the pages and from under his dark mop of wavy hair. It always stunned me how clear and bright his eyes were. I almost thought they were reflecting the clear skies overhead.
I flipped him the bird and ran off to continue the game.
...............................................................
The sun had disappeared before I had the chance to catch its last rays. I knew I was late, and Thomas would definitely give me shit for it. It was nothing I couldn't handle.
The sign to the building read 'NO TRESPASSING!' in bold, and I wondered why they bothered with such authoritative language. People usually like a challenge, and nothing ever came from bossing them around.
I would know.
With a glance over my shoulder, I snuck past the chain-link gate and onto the mostly empty construction site. The building loomed over me, but I wouldn't allow it to make me feel small. One wrong kick at its support beam could send this whole thing tumbling down if I wanted it. The structure was at my mercy only because it's where Thomas hid his stash.
It was a quick jog up the steps to the roof of the building. The chilly breeze pulled goosebumps across my warm skin, and I breathed it in to calm my racing heart.
"Lost some stamina there, I see."
That was Thomas. I looked up to see him perched on an unfinished wall of brick and mortar. His scruffy red hair fell onto his face as he tried to light a joint, but his lighter was put out by the wind.
What a dumbass.
I found the ladder around the back of the wall and climbed up next to him, swinging a leg over the edge and planting myself beside him. I snatched the joint and lighter off of him and got to work.
"At least you had the sense to roll them at home this time," I said from between my teeth as the joint finally caught the flame. With a shallow whiff, I handed the joint back to him. The smoke was strong in my mouth, and I decided I wouldn't have more than a few puffs if I was going to get home adequately sober.
"It was still risky," grunted Thomas. "My alcohol stash's taken. Don't know why I needed to take it home."
He passed the joint back to me, and I tried to ignore the brush of our fingers. His hand clamped onto mine before I could take it away, and I bit the inside of my mouth. My breath lodged in my throat and all the air around me simply wasn't enough to help.
"That's a fresh cut," he said sombrely while eyeing my knuckles. "Your dad?"
"Same old." I leaned forward and caught the joint in between my lips. I didn't want him to let go, no matter how much I hated to admit it. His skin felt warm against mine which was growing dry and cold in the darkening sky.
Thomas was only a few months older than me, but I looked up to him a lot. He was the kind of person who people looked at once and didn't even think of bothering. I'm not sure if it was the sleep-deprived look in his green eyes or the scowl on his face. He was really fit from all the boxing he did, so I guess that added to the intimidation.
A part of me wanted to be him. Another part of me...wanted to be with him. I guess that guarantee of his strength gave me this sense of security that I wouldn't always be the one fighting the battles I faced. If there was anyone I trusted to look out for me, it was him.
Thomas and I smoked in peace. I kept count of my puffs and handed the joint to him indefinitely when I felt the buzz coming on.
"I'd rather drink," I said softly. "Doesn't leave a smell."
"Scared you'll get caught?" he smirked. "That's unlike you."
I laughed, but then there was a rustle and the sound of something dropping, and I almost fell off the wall in panic. Thomas grabbed me by the collar and kept me steady, his eyes zeroing in on the sound and inspecting closely.
"Jesus, it's just me," came a whiny voice from below the wall. I looked down to see familiar blonde pigtails, and I groaned.
"Why are you here, Foster?"
She put her hands on her hips and blinked at me like a petulant child. "Don't see your name anywhere on this building. Thomas, where's my share?"
I glared at Thomas as he dropped two joints. Maude caught them effortlessly and lit one up. Thomas shrugged at me. "Can't turn away paying customers, can I?"
"Ah, so you do have sensible friends," Maude teased. "Hope he doesn't try to kill people either."
"I barely touched him, Maude," I scoffed. "Take your grievances elsewhere."
"Barely," she said pointedly. "Although I can give you credit for keeping Horton in line. Still, he got Shelly in trouble needlessly."
"Ellie shouldn't have reported his porn, then."
"Any evidence to support that claim?"
Thomas's eyes shifted between us in amusement, but I was getting tired of the argument. I was there to relax before going home to deal with possibly more conflict.
"Take it up with Horton," I said indefinitely and swiped the nearly finished joint off of Thomas for one last puff. "I'm heading home. Can't seem to catch a break anywhere."
"What goes around comes around," chided Maude, but I ignored her and rushed down the steps and out of the area.
It's not like I picked on Elliot all the time. Sure, I was an arsehole but it's not like I physically did anything to him outright. I just liked scaring him. He was easy to rile up, had a smart mouth, and was entertaining to mess with. I guess it was a sick form of amusement for me, but I doubted it hurt anybody that bad. Maude had no reason to be so upset.
My body was on autopilot the whole time, and I didn't even realize it when I got home. The apartment complex dad had moved into was run down. Peeling paint and exposed bricks, vines crawling about, and rusted panels of tin that sloped over balconies to keep the rain off. The stairs to the second floor had shaky tiles that seriously needed to be replaced. Just looking at the place drained the energy out of me, but I only had another day to spend before heading to mum's for the weekend.
The only thing I liked here was the huge tree by my bedroom window. It was starting to yellow just in time for Autumn.
I didn't bother greeting dad and headed straight for my bedroom. He noticed my presence but didn't say anything. His cheek was still blue from the punch I'd given him before heading out. My knuckle tingled at the memory. Only the first punch had landed, and the second went by his head and into the picture frame on the wall behind him, right through the drywall.
It was odd, the feeling of shame that came over me. I didn't mean to hurt him. I never did. Now that we were both equal in strength, it didn't feel like abuse anymore. Violence just seemed to be a way we communicated, and there was never another choice.
I knew it wasn't normal, but that's how life was. We both were stuck in a stalemate, waiting for the other to finally back down or become vulnerable. Well, the former was only true for me, and the latter applied to my dad. I was sure he wouldn't pass up the chance to use any weakness of mine to his advantage.
He could dream, though. I wouldn't allow it to happen. I learned from the best, after all.